Win $5,000 By Making The Best Ashley Madison Commercial

[SOS]

There are currently commercials running saying that a person can win $5,000 for making the best Ashley Madison (http://www.ashleymadison.com/) commercial.

Opie & Anthony Show Contest
The Opie & Anthony Show want you to send in your best :60 commercial for Ashley Madison for a chance to win $5,000!

If you think you have the best commercial that best conveys the Ashley Madison message, send us your stuff!

Submissions must be submitted via email to commercial@sirius-radio.com and can be NO LARGER than 8MB in size and NO LONGER than :60 (60 seconds) in length.

*Note: Please read carefully
Entries must include entrant's printed name, date of birth, and telephone number(s) - both day and night. All incomplete submissions will be disqualified. To be eligible for judging, submissions must be submitted by 11:59 p.m. ET on 1/12/09.

Entrants MUST be 18 years of age or older to enter. Open only to legal residents of the contiguous United States and the District of Columbia. Void where prohibited.

View complete contest rules » (http://www.xmradio.com/pdf/opieanthony_madisoncontest_rules.pdf)


The email to send it to is:
commercial@sirius-radio.com

[LastDeadMouse]

I don't know how we can top the brilliant work of O and A this week.

[Razor Roman]

Hahahaha. Anyone heard the one I've been running on my Podcast since this summer? lol.

[Reaper G]

Got the seven year itch?

Is your significant other a bitch or an asshole?

Or do you simply have no respect for the institution of marriage?

Go to AshleyMadison.com. We're a bigger threat to traditional values than gays could ever be.

[LiddyRules]

Man: "I'm so happy for Ashley Madison. Sure I love my wife but lately there's been something missing. The emotional connection is still there but sexually it's very...unsatisfying. My existence has left me cold and disconnected from myself and humanity. Until now."

Woman: "I know what you mean. My husband works all the time. Many nights I don't even get to see him. He says that we'll take a vacation when his current project is over but it's been going on for over a year! I wouldn't be surprised if he was banging his secretary. I don't want to say that this is for revenge or to spite him because I genuinely enjoy being with you. I feel pleasures I haven't felt in ages."

*Door opens with a creek*

Woman #2: Stanley? Stanley! What are you doing?
Man: Honey, I can explain!
Woman #2: Explain!? What is there to explain? You're banging this whore. Did you once think about your children?
Woman #1: I am not a whore. Wait, you have children?
Woman #2: I'm done. This whole thing is done.
*Sound of gun cocking and firing*
Man: Please, stop, we can get through this together.
Woman #2: No, no more.
*Sound of gun cocking and firing*
*Woman #2 is gasping and crying, she's scared and upset. The gun cocks. She chokes back a sob. The gun fires.*
*A few seconds of silence*

Sexy Whore Voice: Ashley Madison.com: Who Knows The Adventures You Can Get Yourself In.

[LiddyRules]

Ashley Madison Commercial Take 2

Man: "As a man I need to be discrete in my trysts. I have a wife. I have a family. And they can't know what I'm doing. I don't want to go through the horrors of divorce and losing my kids, my money and my house. What I love about Ashley Madison is that it allows me to go on the download and satisfy my urges without fear."

Man #2: "And the sex is great."

*Undeniable Sound Of Two Men Kissing*

Sexy Whore Voice: Ashley Madison: For Your Passions

[DocSavage]

Just wondering if any baggers actually tried this service. A review would be awesome.

[SwimConnerSwim]

Just wondering if any baggers actually tried this service. A review would be awesome.


Due to my current situation, I've been thinking about it. Haven't had the nerve to follow through. But the "Guarentee" is total bullshit. It only applies if you sign up for their $249 plan.

[DocSavage]

They have plans? Sounds like you would need a hidden credit card to a PO box already.

[JimsInfectedEye]

From www.nomarriage.com

Here's why I'll be with my girlfriend tonight and not my wife.

Two phone calls this afternoon:

1. Me: Hey sweetie, my mom called and she wants the kids to stay over tonight. What do you say I pick up a bottle of wine and we open up the hottub.
Wife: No, John, you know Tuesdays are difficult days. I had carpool this morning and I'm just too tired. . . .

2. Me: Hey sugar, you want to get a drink tonight after work?
Girlfriend: Why don't we just go to my place?

[SwimConnerSwim]

They have plans? Sounds like you would need a hidden credit card to a PO box already.

3 plans. Each involves "credits" it takes a certain amount of credits to send messages, IM, pic swaps etc. They swear up and down they don't sell the info, and on the CC it is billed as some media company. They offer a paypal option, which might add another layer to hide behind.

[boomer]

FADE IN

We open on an interior of a large bedroom a man sits on the edge the bed visually upset. There is a knock at the door.

Female Voice
I know you’re in there so why don’t you open the damn door! You can’t still possibly be sleeping. Get off your lazy ass and open the god damn door!

The man Tony puts his head in his hands and is trying to gather himself together.

Tony
I’m coming. I was just sleeping so I didn’t hear you honey.


The knocking stops and we hear the sound of keys jingling from outside the door. The jingling stops and the door suddenly swings open. In walks Jill obviously very angry.

Jill
What is going on in here! Why is the door locked in the middle of the day? Are you alone?

Tony
Of course I am honey, I was napping.


Jill
Oh…I was just nervous you were doing something you shouldn’t since the door was locked but I guess I was just being sill…

Jill is interrupted by the sound of a rumble from inside the closet. She shoots a quick look at the closet, then to Tony and then back to the closet. Jill begins to head to the closet.

Quick cut to:
Close up Tony as his eyes dart to the end table

Quick cut to: POV Tony
A Desert Eagle 50 Caliber pistol is sitting on the end table

Quick cut to:
Interior of the closet as the door opens looking out. We see Jill getting obviously mad at what she has just seen inside the closet.

Fade to Black:

Title Card
Ashley Madison. So you can hook up with strangers in cheap hotels in other towns.

[Thelateshowkid]

I don't want to be some self-righteous douche like the people who call and complain about it, but I do kind of have a problem with this company. Just the thought of these scumbags profiting from ruining marriages is pretty sickening. I know people always make it about the kids, but I knew a few kids growing up who's parents split pretty violently, and it really fucked them up. It's not like what I say is going to make any difference, so whatever, but I'm sure the site is like 90% guys so good luck.

[livebackwards]

I don't want to be some self-righteous douche like the people who call and complain about it, but I do kind of have a problem with this company. Just the thought of these scumbags profiting from ruining marriages is pretty sickening.

Pretty sure the marriages are ruined long before the guy is entering his credit card number. You don't check your URL window for the little "s" at the end of "https" unless you've had an extended period of soul-butchering from Mrs. My Life Is Empty Unless I Treat the Person I Live With As An Antagonist. Ms. Madison is simply taking advantage of the free market.

[EarthCrisis]

Fuck Aidsley Madison, I hate those commericals

I hope you guys can make some good ones

[Goblin]

fuck aidsley madison, i hate those commericals



x2

[gleet]

I'm seeing something with a motel room, a rabbit suit, and a bloody bathtub.

Liblib

[EarthCrisis]

I'm seeing something with a motel room, a rabbit suit, and a bloody bathtub.

Liblib

Best scenario ever, they should have added that in the Godfather Part 2

[LiddyRules]

I haven't figured out the set-up but the ending is:

Woman *in tears* "I've never heard of Ashley Madison! You just ***** me!"

[BeerBelly]

x2

they are prettymuch scumbags


x3

[la gota fria]

Today's Ashley Madison Live Read (http://www.zshare.net/audio/52794052f361ee91/)

[Goblin]

Ronnie B.'s read today was the fucking best. Anyone have the audio?

[South Jersey]

Every time I hear that commercial I picture some poor slob maxing out his credit card and when he finally hits pay dirt it turns out to be a fatter version of his wife.

[la gota fria]

Goblin, the R&F reads are posted on ronfez

Yesterday's Live Read (http://www.zshare.net/audio/52914449e7cd4108/)

[deathtrip]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pUjh9Id6Id8&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pUjh9Id6Id8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I'd rather just jerk off into a mcdonalds napkin than sign up for that shit

[cokelogic]

Ronnie B.'s read today was the fucking best. Anyone have the audio?
Is that when he said, "cause you're not just cheating on your wife, also you're cheating on your children"? Because I think Ron's got this contest wrapped up. :icon_cool

[BeerBelly]

This whore turned into a fat bitch;need to find another one
*repeat
*repeat
*repeat

[Reaper G]

AshleyMadison.com -- one jilted husband with a shotgun away from going out of business.

[Razor Roman]

A silly spoof of Ashley Madison I made for my podcast months ago. Don't know if it qualifies, but ... I sent it in anyway.

http://www.losetheradio.com/nofaterazor/audio/mastadon.mp3

[Three Hole Puncher]

To any hammerhead dude who actually thinks that "NSA"- No Strings Attached 'sex only' relationships with females actually exist... Yeah, they do. Bigfoot keeps them in his back pocket.

Go ahead... use that stupid ass Ashley Madison service, and when the crazy bitch boils your rabbit and your wife cleans you out in the divorce, here's what I'll have for you...

http://www.thescore.ca/blogs/footy/muntz.gif

[WOWmagnet]

Just wondering if any baggers actually tried this service. A review would be awesome.

Let's put it this way....I've been banging your wives and girlfriends from AM for years. (at least the hot ones)

[BullsLawDan]

Let's put it this way....I've been banging your wives and girlfriends from AM for years. (at least the hot ones)

Not mine. I told her your dick was so small it didn't even fill my mouth and she lost interest.

:action-sm




I only need a 5 second bumper for an AM commercial:

"Ashley Madison: Stanky on your hang-low."

[chickenfinger]

I object to AshleyMadison on moral grounds, and I believe all of you should too.

[JimsInfectedEye]

Let's put it this way....I've been banging your wives and girlfriends from AM for years. (at least the hot ones)

Could you return mine this weekend? House is messy, laundry needs cleaning, presents need to be wrapped...I only need her for a few hours. You can get her back when all the chores are done.

[BullsLawDan]

I object to AshleyMadison on moral grounds, and I believe all of you should too.

Literal chickenfinger?

Or DGTBG?

Hmmm...

[Razor Roman]

I object to AshleyMadison on moral grounds, and I believe all of you should too.

So don't use their service.

Lots of people object to Whip Em Out Wednesday for the same reason. What is it with all these hypocritical 'baggers lately.

I say if someone really wants to cheat on their spouse, or bang someone who is already in a relationship... then that's on them.

If someone thinks they can make some money hooking these people up... bully for them. If they want to use their advertising budget to support a radio show I enjoy... awesome.

[Shootr]

From www.nomarriage.com

Here's why I'll be with my girlfriend tonight and not my wife.

Two phone calls this afternoon:

1. Me: Hey sweetie, my mom called and she wants the kids to stay over tonight. What do you say I pick up a bottle of wine and we open up the hottub.
Wife: No, John, you know Tuesdays are difficult days. I had carpool this morning and I'm just too tired. . . .

2. Me: Hey sugar, you want to get a drink tonight after work?
Girlfriend: Why don't we just go to my place?

This hits the nail on the head - I chose divorce instead but I have no issues with JIE's logic. Cunts that can't understand this simple quote deserve a service like AM, hell they should be grateful for it since now they won't be pressured to spread 'em because their too tired - Fuck 'em