So out of the fuckin' blue.

[Psychopath]

My father contacts me, I haven't talked to him since I was thirteen or so. So all of a sudden, he wants a relationship? Where was he when I needed him growing up?

[jackjack]

How old are you now? Is the guy dying, or trying to fix a fucked up life?
Take the opportunity, see what happens. Letting go of the anger might be a good thing.
At least, that's my uninformed opinion..

[CougarHunter]

Gotta question why. Does he have the C? Does he want money? Guilt?

[Psychopath]

I am 22.

[jackjack]

I'd say hear him out, see what's up. But that's just because I wouldn't want to not know my father. He's a decent guy. Anyone who has a true asshole for a father would advise more caution. Just be careful, and don't get taken by a carnie.

[DanaReevesLungs]

He must be glad he's not having to make child support payments anymore and can look at you as a person rather than a payment.

[Psychopath]

I still am weary, I have been burned by him before. I view my step father as my father.

[Phi Mu Alpha]

Have you talked to your mom and your step father about him trying to talk to you?

[Psychopath]

Yeah. my mom gave him my number.

[Hudson]

Maybe he had a substance abuse problem and is trying to make ammends.

[lockjaaaaww]

I had to be immature and take the relationship part the wrong way.

[Chino Kapone]

It kinda sounds like you dont want to disrespect your step father either. The way I see it, you have your whole life to live.... Why carry any extra baggage. I don't see how it cant hurt to catch up with the guy. It's not like you are making a serious commitment here.

[Psychopath]

Maybe he had a substance abuse problem and is trying to make ammends.
He was an alcoholic, so that might be the case.

[DonTheTrucker]

He was an alcoholic, so that might be the case.

Ask to meet him at a bar. If he shows, get drunk with him and have a good time. If not, he probably won't bother you again.

[lockjaaaaww]

Ask to meet him at a bar. If he shows, get drunk with him and have a good time. If not, he probably won't bother you again.

he said he's an alcoholic, I don't think thats the best idea.

[sniper2323]

I had my kid get in touch with me. I was 17 at the time mom was 21 when she was was born.. Now flash forward 13 years. WOW...

Death penalty is wrong.
Eating meat is wrong.
etc. etc. etc.

I love my daughter, she just needs to get on the same page as I am.

[Death Metal Moe]

Meet him with no expectations. He gave you nothing but a name, you own him nothing in return.

If it works out, that's pretty awesome and worth the risk. If not, can he really hurt you any worse? I'm asking, I don't know how you feel about your father.

Consider that before you call back.

[Psychopath]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I will have to make a decision soon.

[Death Metal Moe]

Actually, fuck all of us and just consult this:

http://www.nerve.com/CS/blogs/modernmaterialist/2009/01/magic8ball.jpg

[chainandpickup]

He was an alcoholic, so that might be the case.
go for it ,give him a chance ,ive been through all this shit,now dads dead, wish i would have reached out to my old man when he was trying to reach out to me.

[weeniewawa]

I had my kid get in touch with me. I was 17 at the time mom was 21 when she was was born.. Now flash forward 13 years. WOW...

Death penalty is wrong.
Eating meat is wrong.
etc. etc. etc.

I love my daughter, she just needs to get on the same page as I am.

see what happens when someone else raises her?

thats the problem with a lot of single parent kids growing up listening to their liberal mothers and just hearing the wrong stuff.

also they are taught "men are bad" since there isn't one to let them hear their side of the problem

[Egg_Farts]

I don't have anything to do with my bio dad and I'm 33. I've met him only twice and he's pretty much a selfish asshole. I don't hate him for that, a part of me can relate. I don't like kids either. A step dad raised me since I was 2 and thats the more admirable gesture than just being a sperm donor.

[Egg_Farts]

see what happens when someone else raises her?

thats the problem with a lot of single parent kids growing up listening to their liberal mothers and just hearing the wrong stuff.

also they are taught "men are bad" since there isn't one to let them hear their side of the problem

Well, now that we got that all figured out... :rolleyes:

[Smokezilla]

I'm not sure what kind of history you've had with your Dad. . . If it's been one of those relationships where he's constantly shit on you, I'd have to say tell him to fuck off. . . If he's been one of those Dads who stayed out of your life and never bothered you or came around, I'd say give him a chance to tell you what's been going-on in his life and why he never came around. I would definitely try to keep my distance until I sorted this whole thing out first, though. Don't leave yourself vulnerable before you find out his true intention in contacting you.

Did your Mom have any insight into why he would be contacting you???

[Schmed]

He was an alcoholic, so that might be the case.

If that's so, tell him to take a walk, he'll be nothing but a burden on your life moving forward. I have an older brother that is/was an alcoholic, nothing but drama, I haven't had anything to do with him for years now.

[Myhairygrundle]

Life's too short. See what he has to say. You share DNA with him, so you never know if you'll need a kidney or some bone marrow.....


People do change, so give the guy a break and a chance. You can always tell him to go screw if it goes bad.

Good luck, hope it works out.

[PunchYourself187]

Do you have anything better to do?

You might as well get together with him.

[d0uche_n0zzle]

Hit him up for all the back child support he owes. That's one way to make sure he'll never contact you again.

[Awful Me]

If your step dad is who you consider to be your dad then tell sperm donor to get fucked.

He had his chance and he ruined it. You shouldn't have to turn you life upside down and confuse your feelings because he feels guilty.

If you don't know how to say it try this:

"You wouldn't be a father when I needed one, I won't be your son when you need one."

[Begbie]

"You wouldn't be a father when I needed one, I won't be your son when you need one."

Ooo! Nice line!

Honestly though...I outgrew my grudge that I had against my mother. She was an alcoholic and decided to run off and leave my working father with four kids. And this was back in the mid-80's, I was about 5 or so. After nearly killing herself (liver damage), she quit drinking and tried to come around. This actually created more problems because some members of my immediate family ran right to her side, while me and others continued to ignore her...and it created problems.

It wasn't until maybe the last few years that I've decided to bury the hatchet. I think what helped was that I got married, had a kid, and my stepmom passed away. I think it made me realize that time eventually runs out. A friend of mine was in the same situation with her Dad. She recently had been thinking of at least, having a conversation with him again...maybe to find out a little more about his family and what in the world he's been up to these years. But he died unexpectedly before that could happen, and she's pissed. My mother and I have more of a friendship than anything...and that's all I want and I think that's all she needs.

I've been told this before and as I've gotten older, I see it being possibly true...sometime in your life, 10, 20, 30 years down the road, you will probably run through the "what if's" regarding your dad. You might think that's crazy now, but as you get older, you'll most likely think about it. What if I had at least heard what he had to say? Remember, you're in the driver's seat...he was the one that shat on you and is trying to reconnect. It probably won't hurt to at least hear what he has to say. That is, unless he's still a drunken mess, then I'd stay far away.

[LDO]

Anyone else read the title in a Chris Penn, Reservoir dogs stylee?

Oh and fuck your dad in the kiester.

[Motor Head]

Give him a chance. Let him speak. Your not obligated to anything so just hearing him out even if it's for the last time can close out a chapter in your life. It can go a few ways;
1. Dad fucked up and said he was sorry and I forgave him.
2. Dad fucked up and said he was sorry and I told him to suck my 10 inch cock(lib - lib).
3. Dad fucked up and now wants to borrow money so he can invest in Amway. So I spit on him and told him to suck my 10 inch cock (lib-lib).

See what the bastard has to say for himself. Then judge.

[AFA]

Life's too short. See what he has to say. You share DNA with him, so you never know if you'll need a kidney or some bone marrow.....


It is possible his dad is the one that needs the transplant...

[THE FEZ MAN]

my dad's dead, i miss him.

[CougarHunter]

7 years I haven't heard word one from my mother. I wonder if I'll get a phone call from her or from the coroner first.

That said, hear him out of he's initiating contact. Got little to loose.

[Awful Me]

my dad's dead, i miss him.

My father died when I was a kid. My step dad is who I call dad. He raised me. He is my dad.

[FellowTraveler]

my dad's dead, i miss him.

x2. It has been 2 years and still feels like it just happened.

[Psychopath]

I just contacted my father, He is in recovery. I hope it lasts.

[Myhairygrundle]

I just contacted my father, He is in recovery. I hope it lasts.

Hope it works out. I know Wackbag is not exactly a support group, but hey, thoughts and prayers. Seriously.

[Awful Me]

I just contacted my father, He is in recovery. I hope it lasts.


I hope his recovery works for him, and I hope you have a good relationship with him.

That being said: DO NOT forget the Man that raised you for the guy that had sex with your mom and preferred substance abuse to his responsibilities.

[Psychopath]

Yeah, I know.