MAVRIC305
02-07-2002, 12:19 AM
The show starts off with Opie sending an FU out to Sacramento, for sending bogus pictures in for the Naughty nighty contest. He mentioned the new girl that entered the contest, her name is Rena, and she is way to hot to be for real. Also, her pictures were professionally done. Included in the pictures was one shot of her on a bed. The boys knew there was no way they had a bed in their conference room at KXOA. As hot as she is, the boys took some phone calls from a couple of guys saying there was a lump in her panties. It looked like she may have some junk in the front. Anthony said that he couldn't see the lump in any other picture besides picture #3 on her original set. But, Opie said that she probably had it tuck away with some duct tape in the other pictures.
They switch topics to Anthony's long afternoon. He had ordered a ham sandwich, and day after day he says he wants his ham sliced extremely, if not obnoxiously thin. He wanted it sliced as thin as tissue paper. Today, he just couldn't take it anymore. He got his sandwich and opened it up to find that the ham was sliced thick. He explained that you can't eat ham when it is sliced that thick, it has all the nasty fat greases protruding out of it, and it makes for a disgusting lunch. So, Anthony just starts flipping, and in a fit of rage leaves the office on his way to the Associated across the street, where he got the sandwich. He said the people their are ridiculously stupid, that it seems like they are playing a joke. So, he goes up to the counter and he is in back of a guy who is paying with a credit card, talking to the guy behind the counter who is saying: "put in pin" "punch in numbers" Anthony says he was about to punch someone in a second. Now, he is just standing there fuming. He sees a lady and asks if he can have some help. The lady tells him to wait, "she need to get credit card" So, Anthony slams the sandwich down and says, "This is motherfucking ridiculous"
Meanwhile, back at the WNEW studios, Opie and the rest of the gang are making fun of Lisa Orban, who had just walked into the cafeteria. For those of you wondering who she is, she is the lady who writes the live reads for Opie and Anthony. She talks like one of the Martians from the movie "Mars attacks" For example: "Ack, ack, ack, ack, ack" So, Opie is just mocking her voice, so she starts to wonder what is going on and asks if someone is imitating her voice on the air. So, she starts to get the point after a while and hits Opie. Opie, tells her it wasn't him and she figures out it was Anthony. As Opie put it, timing is everything.
Back to Anthony, as he marches back from the Associated into his building, cursing to himself like a madman as he take the elevator back up to the office. At this time Lisa is coming out of the studio, she runs up to Anthony and punches him and says, "Thanks a lot, that's for imitating me" This only enrages Anthony, as he unleashes a, "Get the F away from me you F'ing C" The boys in the studio said that wasn't all he called her. As Opie said, it was a classic case of bad timing.
Back to the present, as Anthony reads an Instant Feedback he asks, "How could I be whining like a Jew about a ham sandwich?"
Then, the boys go back to the phones, where Leon from Sacramento is on the line. He is the guy who has been taking the great pictures at KXOA. He says that Rena brought her own pictures in, but he is confirming that it was the same girl in the picture and she was hot. But, the boys don't believe it, plus they don't agree with the fact that she took the photographs on her own. The boys say they are thinking about disqualifying her. But, Leon says they are not allowed because it doesn't say anything about that in the rules. Anthony was getting a little pissed that Leon was telling them what they can and can't do. So, Opie just got fed up and said that Sacramento was completely disqualified from the contest.
All of a sudden Opie tells Leon to hold, because Scott Ferrall is on CNN. So, they went right to the audio of it. It sounded like he was screaming about the Astros and the Enron situation, saying that they chose that name for the field and now their stuck with it. The funny thing was the lady covering it was telling him to be quiet, so someone else can talk, they couldn't get a word in edgewise.
Okay, back to Leon. Opie says, that something shady is going on in Sacramento and they are disqualified from the contest until they talk to the KXOA PD.
(Break- FU line)
Then Nikki from Sacramento calls in and says that her pictures are legitimate and she took them in the conference room at KXOA. She went on saying, that the lighting wasn't anything special and it was just a lamp they were shining in her face. Then, Opie takes one look at her pictures and says, "Okay, your reinstated" In her cute voice she says thank you.
Then, the boys call President Ronald Reagan, who seems to be having a little phone trouble. So, Anthony figures he will go to the bathroom really fast, while they wait for Ron Reagan. As Anthony leaves, suddenly Reagan says hello. Opie wishes him a happy 91st birthday. Reagan says that he woke up this morning to a chocolate cake in his bed, but he said he must have rolled on it a few times, because it stained is pajama pants up, mostly in the back. He says, he is having a blast at his party, and they are playing "pin the boob on Nancy" Then, some idiot calls in and wonders if it was the real Ronald Reagan. What a tool, of course it is. Then, some chick Angie calls in and tells the boys to leave Ronald Reagan alone, he's old and brain-dead. Then, the boys say they have to go to break, to get ready to bring Lenny Clarke and Adam Ferrara into the studio. Anthony says, "Oh, I know I seen them when I was out there" Opie wonders what Anthony is talking about, saying he was in the studio the whole time, being very quiet during the Ronald Reagan phone call. Anthony covers up by saying, he was only out of the studio for a second to take a leak. Then, Opie says there is something fishy going on here, just like in Sacramento.
(Break)
As the boys get back, Lenny and Adam enter the studio and right away start talking about "The Job" and how funny last weeks episode was with Lenny and Adam moving a dead body back and forth from their jurisdiction to another cops, where the other cop kept moving it back to theirs. Then, a caller reminds the boys that they were supposed to get Lenny an Oriental Midget when he came on the show, after debating that it was Denis Leary who wanted the Midget, they finally realized that it was Lenny, so the put out a plea to the listeners to bring down an Oriental Midget, or any Midget. They will get anything they choose in the prize closet.
Then, they get a call from KXOA PD, calling in from Vegas defending all the pictures, except for today's entry Rena, saying he knew the rule was she had to have the pictures taken at the studio. He wondered when they put a big round bed in his conference room. O&A, Lenny, and Adam went over all the pictures with him, and folded. the boys finally cracked and reinstated all the Sacramento chicks, except Rena who has to come down to the studio and have her pictures taken. though, Opie made a point to say, they will keep pictures of Rena up, but only as an exhibition.
Then, Rudy from the original "Survivor" comes in and makes fun of Rich the fat naked fag for a bit. Anthony, asked him if he had seen the doll that Big Kev had. Rudy said that Big Kev came up to him and said "Hey, Doll" Rudy told him he thinks he's looking for gay Richard Hatch.
(Break- Rich the fat naked fag song, by Brother Joe)
The boys get back, with Rudy, Lenny, and Adam in the studio. Then, hot Stephanie from DC, who is number 37 in the contest, calls in and informs the guys that she is not a stripper and she just likes to keep herself in shape. She tells the guys she use to be a B cup before her boob job. They ask her if she had ever posed like that before? (naked) She said never, which was impossible to believe, but the boys took her word for it. Then, some guy calls in and says he thinks she should have kept her shirt on, to leave a little to the imagination. Shut up, I hate that shit. They start taking calls from people who are just salivating over Stephanie and one guy Kevin had a good outlook, "I'd nail her in front of my wife's Lawyer" The boys tell her to give out her Instant Messenger name, so they can hear all the jingles she gets over the phone, she balks at the idea and then the boys tell her to create a new name and then just cancel it when it's over. So, to kill time as she creates her new name, the boys just talk to a bit, and Rudy asks Anthony if the beer he's drinking is real, Anthony says of course it is, so they hook Rudy up with a few Sam Adams.
Then, the boys welcome little 12 year old Gary to the studio. Gary says he was playing pinball and he couldn't beat Big Kev's high score. He said he wasn't going to touch the machine again, because Stalker Patty did. He said he had seen her pictures on the Internet, but it was 10 times worse in person. Then, they bring Patty in the studio and get to talking about her head and how long ago she shaved it for U2 tickets. It's been like four months and it still hasn't grown much at all. They started talking about her hammer toes and she says the Doctor told her they were going to have to break them and put them back into place. Anthony wished it was her head that had to be broken and put back into place. She showed her feet to Lenny and Adam and simultaneously they said "Oh yeah, those have to be fixed" Then, Frenchy calls in and starts calling Patty a nasty Twat and a "Hoe bag"
Then Rudy's wife begins to signal to him, to tell him it's time to go. Rudy is supposed to be walking down the red carpet at the Westminster dog show. Adam says what's the rush, the dogs can't tell time. Though, it seems Rudy may have had more than his fair share of Sam Adams and was worried he wasn't going to be able to walk down the red carpet looking normal. He said there was one other time that he had a little to much to drink and woke up with a black eye. Lenny Clarke thought he said a black guy, once again a little reference to Richard Hatch.
Then, Stephanie calls back with her new screen name and announces it on the air. No more than 15 seconds elapsed when you start hearing jingle after jingle, nonstop for at least 3 minutes straight, to the laughter of everyone. They have to let Rudy jet, so they plug his show "Combat missions" and say good-bye. Then, some dude calls in and says the funny thing about the IM's he is sending is, sometimes they go through, but sometime a message comes up saying: "Temporarily unavailable" The boys thank Stephanie for doing the bit with them, and tell everyone to stay tuned for 12 year old Gary, there are a bunch of Gary's on the line.
(Break- FU line)
The boys get back from break, and Anthony is just doing a killer Rudy impression, talking about shooting guns and shit, it was hysterical. Then, they get a call from 18 year old Anna, another contestant from Sacramento, who is smoking by the way. She says she was really disappointed when she heard that Sacramento was disqualified from the contest. She said she had never been on a vacation in her entire life and was dying to win this contest. The boys start drooling over her hot pictures. Anthony was wondering what she was sporting down below, and she told the guys it was a landing strip. Sweet! The color is like her hair blonde, and all natural. God, she is hot. So, people start sending in Instant Feedback's saying they will take her anywhere she wants to go at a moments notice. Even little Gary started saying he wanted her. He asked if he can go with her to Hedonism if she wins, and she said yes, giving him a little smooch at the end of it. This girl sounded so sexy, plus she is only 18 Ladies and Gentlemen! She has really thrown a monkey wrench into the contest. I for one, have no clue who to vote for. I think I am leaning towards Stephanie
The boys go back to the phone lines with the Gary's of many ages. This was a battle of the Gary's if you will. Gary held his own against most of the older Gary's, but he was beat by a Gary a year older than him. Though, I think the one that beat him was reading from a joke book, because he had way too many Mother jokes for a thirteen year old. Gary admitted to the loss and said that you win some you lose some. There was one Gary who was trying to help out little Gary, but Gary began to yell profanities at him. Lenny Clarke stepped in and told Gary to relax, the guy is only trying to help. So, Gary calmed down and thanked the guy. Though, later Gary became enraged and began to curse at one guy. This guy took it a little too far: "When you were seven, you walked into the bathroom and asked your Daddy, what is that Daddy?" Your Father said "that's a penis, son." "When will I get one?", You asked. "In ten minutes when your Mother leaves" This had Gary cursing and the boys had to dump out.
Then, the boys played Anthony's Mother singing on Super bowl Sunday. there were a lot of sound clips being played. "Turn it off, Turn it off!" "Could you shut up" "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up" It was wretched. Though, great for a good laugh. It was classic, before she even started singing the song, she told Anthony to make sure he doesn't use it on the radio, and in the background Anthony promises that he will not. He done told Momma a lie. But, once again his Mother made for very funny radio. Then, Opie goes overboard with the sound clips, playing one that said something like "show us your funbags" or something. Anthony said, "Hey that's my Mom" Opie blames Lenny Clarke for it and the boys play Anthony's Mother singing "Mercedes Benz" As they go into the break.
(Quick break)
The boys get back from break, and do a bit of an extended version of WDYL. Which, they have not had time to do in the past few weeks. I had a bunch stolen from me, here are some of them:
Anthony and Joe got their mutual talents from their Father.
There is always room for Jell-O (shots)
Twelve year old Gary is funnier than Rich Vos.
Anthony, then says it was a very educational program, but has something to add about a chain supermarket "Giant" which had advertised in front of their stores, "In honor of Black history month, we offer free fried chicken" Anthony gave them the bonehead of the day award. They took the sign down after people were offended by it. Someone is in big trouble.
Opie gives Gary a pair of tickets to the Islander game against the Buffalo Sabres. Opie promises that he will still be taking him to a game against a sub par team. They say good-bye to Lenny Clarke and Adam Ferrara, make sure to watch "The Job" tonight at 9:30 PM on ABC. Peace!
They switch topics to Anthony's long afternoon. He had ordered a ham sandwich, and day after day he says he wants his ham sliced extremely, if not obnoxiously thin. He wanted it sliced as thin as tissue paper. Today, he just couldn't take it anymore. He got his sandwich and opened it up to find that the ham was sliced thick. He explained that you can't eat ham when it is sliced that thick, it has all the nasty fat greases protruding out of it, and it makes for a disgusting lunch. So, Anthony just starts flipping, and in a fit of rage leaves the office on his way to the Associated across the street, where he got the sandwich. He said the people their are ridiculously stupid, that it seems like they are playing a joke. So, he goes up to the counter and he is in back of a guy who is paying with a credit card, talking to the guy behind the counter who is saying: "put in pin" "punch in numbers" Anthony says he was about to punch someone in a second. Now, he is just standing there fuming. He sees a lady and asks if he can have some help. The lady tells him to wait, "she need to get credit card" So, Anthony slams the sandwich down and says, "This is motherfucking ridiculous"
Meanwhile, back at the WNEW studios, Opie and the rest of the gang are making fun of Lisa Orban, who had just walked into the cafeteria. For those of you wondering who she is, she is the lady who writes the live reads for Opie and Anthony. She talks like one of the Martians from the movie "Mars attacks" For example: "Ack, ack, ack, ack, ack" So, Opie is just mocking her voice, so she starts to wonder what is going on and asks if someone is imitating her voice on the air. So, she starts to get the point after a while and hits Opie. Opie, tells her it wasn't him and she figures out it was Anthony. As Opie put it, timing is everything.
Back to Anthony, as he marches back from the Associated into his building, cursing to himself like a madman as he take the elevator back up to the office. At this time Lisa is coming out of the studio, she runs up to Anthony and punches him and says, "Thanks a lot, that's for imitating me" This only enrages Anthony, as he unleashes a, "Get the F away from me you F'ing C" The boys in the studio said that wasn't all he called her. As Opie said, it was a classic case of bad timing.
Back to the present, as Anthony reads an Instant Feedback he asks, "How could I be whining like a Jew about a ham sandwich?"
Then, the boys go back to the phones, where Leon from Sacramento is on the line. He is the guy who has been taking the great pictures at KXOA. He says that Rena brought her own pictures in, but he is confirming that it was the same girl in the picture and she was hot. But, the boys don't believe it, plus they don't agree with the fact that she took the photographs on her own. The boys say they are thinking about disqualifying her. But, Leon says they are not allowed because it doesn't say anything about that in the rules. Anthony was getting a little pissed that Leon was telling them what they can and can't do. So, Opie just got fed up and said that Sacramento was completely disqualified from the contest.
All of a sudden Opie tells Leon to hold, because Scott Ferrall is on CNN. So, they went right to the audio of it. It sounded like he was screaming about the Astros and the Enron situation, saying that they chose that name for the field and now their stuck with it. The funny thing was the lady covering it was telling him to be quiet, so someone else can talk, they couldn't get a word in edgewise.
Okay, back to Leon. Opie says, that something shady is going on in Sacramento and they are disqualified from the contest until they talk to the KXOA PD.
(Break- FU line)
Then Nikki from Sacramento calls in and says that her pictures are legitimate and she took them in the conference room at KXOA. She went on saying, that the lighting wasn't anything special and it was just a lamp they were shining in her face. Then, Opie takes one look at her pictures and says, "Okay, your reinstated" In her cute voice she says thank you.
Then, the boys call President Ronald Reagan, who seems to be having a little phone trouble. So, Anthony figures he will go to the bathroom really fast, while they wait for Ron Reagan. As Anthony leaves, suddenly Reagan says hello. Opie wishes him a happy 91st birthday. Reagan says that he woke up this morning to a chocolate cake in his bed, but he said he must have rolled on it a few times, because it stained is pajama pants up, mostly in the back. He says, he is having a blast at his party, and they are playing "pin the boob on Nancy" Then, some idiot calls in and wonders if it was the real Ronald Reagan. What a tool, of course it is. Then, some chick Angie calls in and tells the boys to leave Ronald Reagan alone, he's old and brain-dead. Then, the boys say they have to go to break, to get ready to bring Lenny Clarke and Adam Ferrara into the studio. Anthony says, "Oh, I know I seen them when I was out there" Opie wonders what Anthony is talking about, saying he was in the studio the whole time, being very quiet during the Ronald Reagan phone call. Anthony covers up by saying, he was only out of the studio for a second to take a leak. Then, Opie says there is something fishy going on here, just like in Sacramento.
(Break)
As the boys get back, Lenny and Adam enter the studio and right away start talking about "The Job" and how funny last weeks episode was with Lenny and Adam moving a dead body back and forth from their jurisdiction to another cops, where the other cop kept moving it back to theirs. Then, a caller reminds the boys that they were supposed to get Lenny an Oriental Midget when he came on the show, after debating that it was Denis Leary who wanted the Midget, they finally realized that it was Lenny, so the put out a plea to the listeners to bring down an Oriental Midget, or any Midget. They will get anything they choose in the prize closet.
Then, they get a call from KXOA PD, calling in from Vegas defending all the pictures, except for today's entry Rena, saying he knew the rule was she had to have the pictures taken at the studio. He wondered when they put a big round bed in his conference room. O&A, Lenny, and Adam went over all the pictures with him, and folded. the boys finally cracked and reinstated all the Sacramento chicks, except Rena who has to come down to the studio and have her pictures taken. though, Opie made a point to say, they will keep pictures of Rena up, but only as an exhibition.
Then, Rudy from the original "Survivor" comes in and makes fun of Rich the fat naked fag for a bit. Anthony, asked him if he had seen the doll that Big Kev had. Rudy said that Big Kev came up to him and said "Hey, Doll" Rudy told him he thinks he's looking for gay Richard Hatch.
(Break- Rich the fat naked fag song, by Brother Joe)
The boys get back, with Rudy, Lenny, and Adam in the studio. Then, hot Stephanie from DC, who is number 37 in the contest, calls in and informs the guys that she is not a stripper and she just likes to keep herself in shape. She tells the guys she use to be a B cup before her boob job. They ask her if she had ever posed like that before? (naked) She said never, which was impossible to believe, but the boys took her word for it. Then, some guy calls in and says he thinks she should have kept her shirt on, to leave a little to the imagination. Shut up, I hate that shit. They start taking calls from people who are just salivating over Stephanie and one guy Kevin had a good outlook, "I'd nail her in front of my wife's Lawyer" The boys tell her to give out her Instant Messenger name, so they can hear all the jingles she gets over the phone, she balks at the idea and then the boys tell her to create a new name and then just cancel it when it's over. So, to kill time as she creates her new name, the boys just talk to a bit, and Rudy asks Anthony if the beer he's drinking is real, Anthony says of course it is, so they hook Rudy up with a few Sam Adams.
Then, the boys welcome little 12 year old Gary to the studio. Gary says he was playing pinball and he couldn't beat Big Kev's high score. He said he wasn't going to touch the machine again, because Stalker Patty did. He said he had seen her pictures on the Internet, but it was 10 times worse in person. Then, they bring Patty in the studio and get to talking about her head and how long ago she shaved it for U2 tickets. It's been like four months and it still hasn't grown much at all. They started talking about her hammer toes and she says the Doctor told her they were going to have to break them and put them back into place. Anthony wished it was her head that had to be broken and put back into place. She showed her feet to Lenny and Adam and simultaneously they said "Oh yeah, those have to be fixed" Then, Frenchy calls in and starts calling Patty a nasty Twat and a "Hoe bag"
Then Rudy's wife begins to signal to him, to tell him it's time to go. Rudy is supposed to be walking down the red carpet at the Westminster dog show. Adam says what's the rush, the dogs can't tell time. Though, it seems Rudy may have had more than his fair share of Sam Adams and was worried he wasn't going to be able to walk down the red carpet looking normal. He said there was one other time that he had a little to much to drink and woke up with a black eye. Lenny Clarke thought he said a black guy, once again a little reference to Richard Hatch.
Then, Stephanie calls back with her new screen name and announces it on the air. No more than 15 seconds elapsed when you start hearing jingle after jingle, nonstop for at least 3 minutes straight, to the laughter of everyone. They have to let Rudy jet, so they plug his show "Combat missions" and say good-bye. Then, some dude calls in and says the funny thing about the IM's he is sending is, sometimes they go through, but sometime a message comes up saying: "Temporarily unavailable" The boys thank Stephanie for doing the bit with them, and tell everyone to stay tuned for 12 year old Gary, there are a bunch of Gary's on the line.
(Break- FU line)
The boys get back from break, and Anthony is just doing a killer Rudy impression, talking about shooting guns and shit, it was hysterical. Then, they get a call from 18 year old Anna, another contestant from Sacramento, who is smoking by the way. She says she was really disappointed when she heard that Sacramento was disqualified from the contest. She said she had never been on a vacation in her entire life and was dying to win this contest. The boys start drooling over her hot pictures. Anthony was wondering what she was sporting down below, and she told the guys it was a landing strip. Sweet! The color is like her hair blonde, and all natural. God, she is hot. So, people start sending in Instant Feedback's saying they will take her anywhere she wants to go at a moments notice. Even little Gary started saying he wanted her. He asked if he can go with her to Hedonism if she wins, and she said yes, giving him a little smooch at the end of it. This girl sounded so sexy, plus she is only 18 Ladies and Gentlemen! She has really thrown a monkey wrench into the contest. I for one, have no clue who to vote for. I think I am leaning towards Stephanie
The boys go back to the phone lines with the Gary's of many ages. This was a battle of the Gary's if you will. Gary held his own against most of the older Gary's, but he was beat by a Gary a year older than him. Though, I think the one that beat him was reading from a joke book, because he had way too many Mother jokes for a thirteen year old. Gary admitted to the loss and said that you win some you lose some. There was one Gary who was trying to help out little Gary, but Gary began to yell profanities at him. Lenny Clarke stepped in and told Gary to relax, the guy is only trying to help. So, Gary calmed down and thanked the guy. Though, later Gary became enraged and began to curse at one guy. This guy took it a little too far: "When you were seven, you walked into the bathroom and asked your Daddy, what is that Daddy?" Your Father said "that's a penis, son." "When will I get one?", You asked. "In ten minutes when your Mother leaves" This had Gary cursing and the boys had to dump out.
Then, the boys played Anthony's Mother singing on Super bowl Sunday. there were a lot of sound clips being played. "Turn it off, Turn it off!" "Could you shut up" "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up" It was wretched. Though, great for a good laugh. It was classic, before she even started singing the song, she told Anthony to make sure he doesn't use it on the radio, and in the background Anthony promises that he will not. He done told Momma a lie. But, once again his Mother made for very funny radio. Then, Opie goes overboard with the sound clips, playing one that said something like "show us your funbags" or something. Anthony said, "Hey that's my Mom" Opie blames Lenny Clarke for it and the boys play Anthony's Mother singing "Mercedes Benz" As they go into the break.
(Quick break)
The boys get back from break, and do a bit of an extended version of WDYL. Which, they have not had time to do in the past few weeks. I had a bunch stolen from me, here are some of them:
Anthony and Joe got their mutual talents from their Father.
There is always room for Jell-O (shots)
Twelve year old Gary is funnier than Rich Vos.
Anthony, then says it was a very educational program, but has something to add about a chain supermarket "Giant" which had advertised in front of their stores, "In honor of Black history month, we offer free fried chicken" Anthony gave them the bonehead of the day award. They took the sign down after people were offended by it. Someone is in big trouble.
Opie gives Gary a pair of tickets to the Islander game against the Buffalo Sabres. Opie promises that he will still be taking him to a game against a sub par team. They say good-bye to Lenny Clarke and Adam Ferrara, make sure to watch "The Job" tonight at 9:30 PM on ABC. Peace!