MAVRIC305
02-14-2002, 11:55 PM
As usual the boys start out with a song, it was Brother Joe's brand new Valentine's Day song. As I said yesterday, It is classic. Opie gives out the numbers for the listeners, but includes Phoenix, Arizona.? Then, some dude calls in and says he had had it, with all the Valentine shit on every corner. He had just gotten back from a stint in the Military, and he calls his girl to tell her he is coming to see her. This bitch, tells him not to bother, she doesn't want to see him. Then, Opie says that pretty much the same thing happen to him. Though, in his case his girlfriend forgot to clean out the back-seat, and when he got back from vacation he looked in the back-seat and saw a size 13 basketball sneaker. Anthony, actually had a clip of the guy who violated Opie's girl: "I'm Big Dick Black" :D
Then, Rick and Opie start to compare the gifts they bought for their women. Opie tells Linda and Sandy to shut off the radio, so they can make fun of each others gifts. Then, Opie just starts sounding all relieved that he got his Valentine's Day shopping over with, can you blame him? Opie and Rick say they were in the back earlier comparing each others packages, and who's was nicer. Then, he says that he just happy another year past, where he didn't have to pop the big question. He told everyone that his brother Quinn beat him to the punch. His brother Quinn got engaged, congratulations! This didn't sit well with Sandy, who was hoping this was the year he'd do the deed. Then they all start to bust on Rick for the huge card he got for his wife. Then, Rick gets pissed and starts talking about Opie's "85 cent" card. Opie says: "No, I don't think so, it's more like $2.11" He said he had his own words to write in the card, not like Rick and his big card, with someone else's words in it. Then, they start talking about cards in general, how stupid some of these things are. They have the cards that start with "I'm sorry" it's like, what's the point? Then, the card ends with, "I will never hit you, again" pointless. Then, you have the ones that say: "I know it's been rough, but if we stick together we will get through it" Yuck! You stink! Then, some listeners chime in with some good gift ideas, such as: Cold hard cash, Hawaiian flowers, and a chocolate. But, Brother Joe begs to differ, he says you have to do that Barry White type shit, wine and dine the chicks. Of course he would say that, this coming from the guy who made a DMX song, sound like something my father wanted to listen to. He also added that he thinks cards are bullshit, and the girl doesn't really appreciate it. Then, the boys take a call from some dude, who noticed that the Rick and Opie said earlier that they were comparing packages and he couldn't believe what he heard. The boys get a good laugh out of that one, and move on to the next caller, who tells the boys he has a "Bitches that'll getcha's" for them. He says his girlfriend left him a card on his bed this morning, he opens the Valentine card and sees photos of his chick with another man, she said he didn't do it for him anymore, and she doesn't need him, she has another man now. Another dude calls in and says, that he picked up a card and read it, he liked it, so without looking he put it back in the envelope and sealed it. It just so happens, there were black people on the front of the card. The boys take a call from some fat chick, who sounded black, but was white. she weighed about 250, or as the boys say, that's more like 280.
(Break)
Now we are having fun. The boys get back and they start ripping on all the gay radio ideas for Valentine's Day. Like Rocco in Boston with his fake break up with his girlfriend, for Valentine's Day. Norton jokingly said they should have guys call up and break up with their girlfriends on the air, they can call it, "The Valentine's Day massacre", hubbla, hubbla. Though, Opie actually liked the idea. Then, some chick calls in and says her husband just called her, he told her to buy a gift for his mother, and then pick up some roses for herself, he will give her the money when he gets home. That guy has balls. Then, Katie from Buffalo calls in and says she is a teen without a Valentine. The boys wonder why, thinking she may be an ugly girl. But, she says she is a hotty and she is smart. She said it might be that she is too cool for the guys. She says she is in love with Norton, even though he is a disgusting person. She can't wait to see Norton when he goes to Buffalo to do a show, on his "Yellow Discipline" tour. Then, Eric calls in and says that the "competition" in New York, CBS FM is doing. They are having people renew their wedding vows on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Opie said, the only cool thing about that would be if the boat sank. Then, Uncle John calls up and mentions the 55 gallon drum challenge. Which the boys will have a girl coming down to the studio tomorrow, to qualify for the challenge by doing a handstand, and yellow disciplining all over herself, as Norton seeds in his pants.
(Break)
Then, the boys get into a story in a magazine that is only sent to radio stations. The title: "How to counter program against Opie & Anthony" It was ideas from PD's all over the country on what to do if O & A come into your city. The radio business is that afraid of O & A, that they are sending out manual on how to deal with the import of O & A to your city. Though, some of the PD's had good ideas, no they didn't! It was just terrible idea after terrible idea. Another thought of why O & A are so successful was, they have a sort of Rock & Roll sensibility. They got a good chuckle at that one, nudge, nudge. What it meant was, they don't have to play Rock & Roll, because they already attract "Rock & Roll fans" Some of the PD's thought it was a good idea to not respond to O & A, which has been proved wrong plenty of times by the boys. Pendarvis and Shlocko to name a couple. Norton added, that some of the PD's want their Jocks to "Stick to their knitting" which is the gayest phrase I have ever heard. They went into WFNX in Boston, which is as noticed as a specific cum stain on my computer in the radio ratings. They probably were misquoted when they said that they actually compete with O & A. Then, they read one point that made sense, someone said that if you just play music constantly, you are taking a back-seat to the O & A. If you have on air talent, you should use it. But, some other PD doesn't think so, he says the more talented a jock is the less he should talk. The boys just didn't get that shit. The boys take a phone call from a guy in Buffalo, who says there is a jock there that does a bit "Blowing the fuzz" in which people call in to inform other listeners where the cops are hiding with their radar guns. The boy called it a CB game. "Breaker, Breaker this is oddball" Norton says you can't be funny if you refer to the police as "The fuzz" Then Anthony mentions those "Lite FM" type radio stations around the country, that play, as Anthony put it "Safe" music. Which pretty much means, it's new music, borderline gay music, and a mix of oldies, how can you go wrong with that? So, Anthony brings up that commercial with a jock from New York, Valerie Smaldone, in which she pushes a button and then folds her arms as if to say: "That's all I do here" But, when the ratings come in, I am sure she is the first to gloat about her ratings. Even though, she admittedly does nothing! Then, they get back to the story about the scared PD's. They read a quote from an anonymous PD, who said the best way to defend against O & A is to not play the music that their fans like. So, basically become a "Lite FM" Duh! Then, Anthony jokes, the anonymous PD, WNEW's own Jeremy Coleman. They read a few quotes from this Cruz guy, I think from Boston, he said something about the contrast in shows that O & A do, I missed the first part of his retarded analogy, but this was the end of it: "I mostly enjoy when they sit around and take calls from Phoenix" They are not syndicated to Phoenix. This is where the beginning of today's show made sense. This Dick doesn't know anything about O & A, and he's commenting on their show. Though Jim was cutoff in the middle of this sentence I heard it, why do people need to hear music on the radio all day, we have CD's now!!
(Break)
The boys get back and read a quick Instant Feedback, this guy says, how could anybody compete against a show with no format? Then, Anthony starts reading the Valentine ads in the paper. This is where people pour their hearts out to their loved ones. He reads a few, but they kind of sound the same as the greeting cards I mentioned before, like "sorry I hit you" Then Norton finds an original: "You make my heart skip a beat, too bad I am numb from the neck down -Christopher Reeves" He is a terrible man. Then, Opie quickly mentions another radio ploy to get ratings. These people actually say: "If we don't play 20 songs in two hours, you get $20,000" The point is for the listeners to sit if front of the radio praying for the jock to accidentally play 19 songs instead of 20, in which the listener would still have to be the first caller. The jock only fucks up when it's planned.
The boys have their coffee brought to them, and Opie starts complaining right away, that it is all foam and no coffee. Then Anthony asks, Where's my baked potato?
(Break- Brother Joe's Valentine song. Classic!)
The boys bring Stalker Patty into the studio, and she gives them their Valentine's Day presents. It's chocolates, Anthony appreciative and already eating the chocolates down. Opie start winging them at Patty, that cruel man. They bullshit with her for a bit. Then, they get a call from #93 Daniella from the Naughty Nighty contest, she tells the guys she is really starting to listen to the show, but at first it was hard, because the show started around her nap time, so she fell asleep a lot. I guess hot bitches deserve a nap time. They talk to her for a while, she use to be in "Penthoose" (Penthouse) and she is originally from Amsterdam. She's hot, and she likes the show now. Opie, promises her he will whip out a batch for her this weekend.
Then, Anthony mentions that today is the Valentine's Day edition of the O & A show. Dr. Katz is stopping by today, it's not the funny Dr. Katz, but a doctor who specializes in breath. He invented some sort of breathalyzer, that tells you what your eating wrong and how to improve the scent of your breath. Then, some dude sends in an Instant Feedback which the boys jump on, it's some kind of bit that another radio show does, they call it getting crazy or something. So, O & A round up a bunch of callers who say they want to go crazy. They finally get enough and they start. The callers are just screaming: "I'm so Crazy!! Bangbbangbang!!" Every caller just went.... Well crazy. It was wack-zanerific, but that's what made it funny.
Then, a dude calls in and say the guy that ran over all the people yesterday, did it again today and he was caught! Norton says the he wishes the guy was never caught. Then, Anthony and Norton start to talk about how pedestrians don't look where they are going, Anthony says he feels like running people over sometimes. These, motherfuckers cross on the red, and then get pissed when the driver who has the green almost hits them, who's fault is it? the fucking guy, who doesn't read the "Don't walk" sign. Fuckers!! they do more of the Crazy bit!
(Quick break)
The boys get Sandy Kane in the studio along with Dr. Katz. She comes in with her motor mouth, and painted Twatto red for Valentine's Day. They start talking about bad breath with Dr. Katz. Then, Sandy Kane starts in with some weird sob story about her bad breath. She had been tormented for years for her bad breath. the boys grow weary of this shit and kick everybody put of the studio.
(WDYL- Peace)
I had to cut this short, but a few reminders: Visit Eatabullet.com (http://www.eatabullet.com) for all details on Jim Norton's "Yellow Discipline" tour, thanks for a title to my review Jimbo! Also, tune into the show tomorrow to hear a chick do a handstand and piss all over herself. Once again, I am sorry for cutting this short, but I have to run. Also, I am sorry if this is a cluster fuck, I had to rush through this review. Peace people, and if you don't see me tomorrow, enjoy your three day weekend!
Then, Rick and Opie start to compare the gifts they bought for their women. Opie tells Linda and Sandy to shut off the radio, so they can make fun of each others gifts. Then, Opie just starts sounding all relieved that he got his Valentine's Day shopping over with, can you blame him? Opie and Rick say they were in the back earlier comparing each others packages, and who's was nicer. Then, he says that he just happy another year past, where he didn't have to pop the big question. He told everyone that his brother Quinn beat him to the punch. His brother Quinn got engaged, congratulations! This didn't sit well with Sandy, who was hoping this was the year he'd do the deed. Then they all start to bust on Rick for the huge card he got for his wife. Then, Rick gets pissed and starts talking about Opie's "85 cent" card. Opie says: "No, I don't think so, it's more like $2.11" He said he had his own words to write in the card, not like Rick and his big card, with someone else's words in it. Then, they start talking about cards in general, how stupid some of these things are. They have the cards that start with "I'm sorry" it's like, what's the point? Then, the card ends with, "I will never hit you, again" pointless. Then, you have the ones that say: "I know it's been rough, but if we stick together we will get through it" Yuck! You stink! Then, some listeners chime in with some good gift ideas, such as: Cold hard cash, Hawaiian flowers, and a chocolate. But, Brother Joe begs to differ, he says you have to do that Barry White type shit, wine and dine the chicks. Of course he would say that, this coming from the guy who made a DMX song, sound like something my father wanted to listen to. He also added that he thinks cards are bullshit, and the girl doesn't really appreciate it. Then, the boys take a call from some dude, who noticed that the Rick and Opie said earlier that they were comparing packages and he couldn't believe what he heard. The boys get a good laugh out of that one, and move on to the next caller, who tells the boys he has a "Bitches that'll getcha's" for them. He says his girlfriend left him a card on his bed this morning, he opens the Valentine card and sees photos of his chick with another man, she said he didn't do it for him anymore, and she doesn't need him, she has another man now. Another dude calls in and says, that he picked up a card and read it, he liked it, so without looking he put it back in the envelope and sealed it. It just so happens, there were black people on the front of the card. The boys take a call from some fat chick, who sounded black, but was white. she weighed about 250, or as the boys say, that's more like 280.
(Break)
Now we are having fun. The boys get back and they start ripping on all the gay radio ideas for Valentine's Day. Like Rocco in Boston with his fake break up with his girlfriend, for Valentine's Day. Norton jokingly said they should have guys call up and break up with their girlfriends on the air, they can call it, "The Valentine's Day massacre", hubbla, hubbla. Though, Opie actually liked the idea. Then, some chick calls in and says her husband just called her, he told her to buy a gift for his mother, and then pick up some roses for herself, he will give her the money when he gets home. That guy has balls. Then, Katie from Buffalo calls in and says she is a teen without a Valentine. The boys wonder why, thinking she may be an ugly girl. But, she says she is a hotty and she is smart. She said it might be that she is too cool for the guys. She says she is in love with Norton, even though he is a disgusting person. She can't wait to see Norton when he goes to Buffalo to do a show, on his "Yellow Discipline" tour. Then, Eric calls in and says that the "competition" in New York, CBS FM is doing. They are having people renew their wedding vows on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Opie said, the only cool thing about that would be if the boat sank. Then, Uncle John calls up and mentions the 55 gallon drum challenge. Which the boys will have a girl coming down to the studio tomorrow, to qualify for the challenge by doing a handstand, and yellow disciplining all over herself, as Norton seeds in his pants.
(Break)
Then, the boys get into a story in a magazine that is only sent to radio stations. The title: "How to counter program against Opie & Anthony" It was ideas from PD's all over the country on what to do if O & A come into your city. The radio business is that afraid of O & A, that they are sending out manual on how to deal with the import of O & A to your city. Though, some of the PD's had good ideas, no they didn't! It was just terrible idea after terrible idea. Another thought of why O & A are so successful was, they have a sort of Rock & Roll sensibility. They got a good chuckle at that one, nudge, nudge. What it meant was, they don't have to play Rock & Roll, because they already attract "Rock & Roll fans" Some of the PD's thought it was a good idea to not respond to O & A, which has been proved wrong plenty of times by the boys. Pendarvis and Shlocko to name a couple. Norton added, that some of the PD's want their Jocks to "Stick to their knitting" which is the gayest phrase I have ever heard. They went into WFNX in Boston, which is as noticed as a specific cum stain on my computer in the radio ratings. They probably were misquoted when they said that they actually compete with O & A. Then, they read one point that made sense, someone said that if you just play music constantly, you are taking a back-seat to the O & A. If you have on air talent, you should use it. But, some other PD doesn't think so, he says the more talented a jock is the less he should talk. The boys just didn't get that shit. The boys take a phone call from a guy in Buffalo, who says there is a jock there that does a bit "Blowing the fuzz" in which people call in to inform other listeners where the cops are hiding with their radar guns. The boy called it a CB game. "Breaker, Breaker this is oddball" Norton says you can't be funny if you refer to the police as "The fuzz" Then Anthony mentions those "Lite FM" type radio stations around the country, that play, as Anthony put it "Safe" music. Which pretty much means, it's new music, borderline gay music, and a mix of oldies, how can you go wrong with that? So, Anthony brings up that commercial with a jock from New York, Valerie Smaldone, in which she pushes a button and then folds her arms as if to say: "That's all I do here" But, when the ratings come in, I am sure she is the first to gloat about her ratings. Even though, she admittedly does nothing! Then, they get back to the story about the scared PD's. They read a quote from an anonymous PD, who said the best way to defend against O & A is to not play the music that their fans like. So, basically become a "Lite FM" Duh! Then, Anthony jokes, the anonymous PD, WNEW's own Jeremy Coleman. They read a few quotes from this Cruz guy, I think from Boston, he said something about the contrast in shows that O & A do, I missed the first part of his retarded analogy, but this was the end of it: "I mostly enjoy when they sit around and take calls from Phoenix" They are not syndicated to Phoenix. This is where the beginning of today's show made sense. This Dick doesn't know anything about O & A, and he's commenting on their show. Though Jim was cutoff in the middle of this sentence I heard it, why do people need to hear music on the radio all day, we have CD's now!!
(Break)
The boys get back and read a quick Instant Feedback, this guy says, how could anybody compete against a show with no format? Then, Anthony starts reading the Valentine ads in the paper. This is where people pour their hearts out to their loved ones. He reads a few, but they kind of sound the same as the greeting cards I mentioned before, like "sorry I hit you" Then Norton finds an original: "You make my heart skip a beat, too bad I am numb from the neck down -Christopher Reeves" He is a terrible man. Then, Opie quickly mentions another radio ploy to get ratings. These people actually say: "If we don't play 20 songs in two hours, you get $20,000" The point is for the listeners to sit if front of the radio praying for the jock to accidentally play 19 songs instead of 20, in which the listener would still have to be the first caller. The jock only fucks up when it's planned.
The boys have their coffee brought to them, and Opie starts complaining right away, that it is all foam and no coffee. Then Anthony asks, Where's my baked potato?
(Break- Brother Joe's Valentine song. Classic!)
The boys bring Stalker Patty into the studio, and she gives them their Valentine's Day presents. It's chocolates, Anthony appreciative and already eating the chocolates down. Opie start winging them at Patty, that cruel man. They bullshit with her for a bit. Then, they get a call from #93 Daniella from the Naughty Nighty contest, she tells the guys she is really starting to listen to the show, but at first it was hard, because the show started around her nap time, so she fell asleep a lot. I guess hot bitches deserve a nap time. They talk to her for a while, she use to be in "Penthoose" (Penthouse) and she is originally from Amsterdam. She's hot, and she likes the show now. Opie, promises her he will whip out a batch for her this weekend.
Then, Anthony mentions that today is the Valentine's Day edition of the O & A show. Dr. Katz is stopping by today, it's not the funny Dr. Katz, but a doctor who specializes in breath. He invented some sort of breathalyzer, that tells you what your eating wrong and how to improve the scent of your breath. Then, some dude sends in an Instant Feedback which the boys jump on, it's some kind of bit that another radio show does, they call it getting crazy or something. So, O & A round up a bunch of callers who say they want to go crazy. They finally get enough and they start. The callers are just screaming: "I'm so Crazy!! Bangbbangbang!!" Every caller just went.... Well crazy. It was wack-zanerific, but that's what made it funny.
Then, a dude calls in and say the guy that ran over all the people yesterday, did it again today and he was caught! Norton says the he wishes the guy was never caught. Then, Anthony and Norton start to talk about how pedestrians don't look where they are going, Anthony says he feels like running people over sometimes. These, motherfuckers cross on the red, and then get pissed when the driver who has the green almost hits them, who's fault is it? the fucking guy, who doesn't read the "Don't walk" sign. Fuckers!! they do more of the Crazy bit!
(Quick break)
The boys get Sandy Kane in the studio along with Dr. Katz. She comes in with her motor mouth, and painted Twatto red for Valentine's Day. They start talking about bad breath with Dr. Katz. Then, Sandy Kane starts in with some weird sob story about her bad breath. She had been tormented for years for her bad breath. the boys grow weary of this shit and kick everybody put of the studio.
(WDYL- Peace)
I had to cut this short, but a few reminders: Visit Eatabullet.com (http://www.eatabullet.com) for all details on Jim Norton's "Yellow Discipline" tour, thanks for a title to my review Jimbo! Also, tune into the show tomorrow to hear a chick do a handstand and piss all over herself. Once again, I am sorry for cutting this short, but I have to run. Also, I am sorry if this is a cluster fuck, I had to rush through this review. Peace people, and if you don't see me tomorrow, enjoy your three day weekend!