rocfastrini
02-18-2005, 01:41 PM
Show Open
• Thank God for Friday! Ant says he was in bed by 5:30 yesterday afternoon. They talk about how doing a morning show has really messed them up. Op says his whole dumping pattern is messed up, and he is going to the doctor today to get it checked out. He says he doesn’t care what the doctor does, he just wants it fixed. Ant says the problem with going to bed that early is that you will inevitably wake up, and the trick is to always stay in the sleep mode. Ant says the last time he got the “digit” at the doctor was when he was 7 years old. He also says that maybe Op might be a candidate for the “pipe” (colon exam). Op says his brother went for the pipe and had to get more medication because it started hurting. They start talking about how the pipe is smaller now, and they can’t imagine how big they were back in the days. Jimmy says that now there is a camera that can be swallowed, and take pictures of your colon.
• They switch to talking about Michael Jackson. Op says at first he actually thought that MJ wasn’t guilty, but after reading all the stuff is coming out he is definitely sure that he is. They talk about some of the evidence against him.
• Ant talks about seeing a Colombo episode with Johnny Cash in it.
• Caller – says that Op should use the “Anal Destroyer” to cure his problem
• Caller – story about a woman during a colon exam. They all pause, expecting a Jimmy Houston plug, but it’s a false alarm.
• Caller – talks about getting a rectal sonogram
• Caller – says that Op should do the virtual colonoscopy. He also talks about a procedure that involves sliding a tube inside your dick.
• Caller – says he got a colonoscopy 20 years ago, with no meds.
• “Poop Goes the Weasel” and “Coffee Diva” into break.
Break
• Op says Steve C came in to give him dump advice. He says he was explaining to Jimmy how hard and heavy his dumps were. Steve said that means that he is eating a lot of protein. He tries to explain and then he is interrupted by his Martini Steve music. He says he was talking to his trainer, and they ask him if the trainer puts a muzzle on him. This segues Op into a tangent about flipping channels and seeing how they treat the dancing bears. Back to Steve, he says that the trainer has explained the protein thing; Jimmy says Steve’s stomach is like a Wonka machine. Jimmy says he enjoyed seeing feta cheese come out his stomach when he had his colonics.
• Caller – he says that maybe there is a marshmallow stuck there.
• Ant says he doesn’t understand what happened to the hotness, because now here they are talking about dumps, and the pipe. Op says they definitely need to bring the hotness back. Op and Jimmy talk about a woman that emailed them with a picture of a swinging couple and the wife is really hot. The wife wants to come in and do the lesbian couch.
• They talk about Pat from Moonachie, and they say whenever they leave after the show they see him a lot outside, because he does deliveries and is always close by.
• Caller – a girl, asking where she can get a colonic, because she is constantly constipated. She says it’s the medication, because she takes meds for seizures *cue the laughter*. She says she has searched the internet, but Op says that the internet is for porn. Ant looks for the sound clip, but can’t find it because they switched his template.
• Op reads a story for the newspapers about Michael Jackson, and that the shape of his dick will come up during the case. Apparently, according to the story it has rings around it, which is due to his skin bleaching process.
• They play audio from a news report about Jacko.
• Caller – tries a joke and bombs, but saves it with a Pat from Moonachie impression.
• “How’s Your Whole Family” into break
Break
• Op brings up the story about the waitresses at the Borgata, and a new rule that starts on Monday that states that they are not allowed to gain 7 lbs or else they will be fired. Ant says that’s only fair, because their job description is to be hot. Op says that one waitress will sue, and that will be enough to end that rule.
• Switch to talking about baseball, and the front page of the NY Post, which has a story about David Wells. Ant says he is considering Mets season tickets, because his chick is a Met fan.
• They also talk about the Cosby groping charges being dropped. Ant says that it would take a lot of evidence for the Cos to lose his credibility. Op says that he thinks Cosby’s comedy is brilliant because he likes the long story style of comedy, and Jimmy says that his problem with Cosby is that his comedy is totally opposite to how he actually is.
• They play audio of a bit that Op says he heard and liked. It’s a long bit, so Op says they will count how long it takes to get the laugh part. Ant starts doing the Cos, telling long winding jokes.
• Pat from Moonachie comes in studio, to do his first news segment.
http://img153.exs.cx/img153/1659/unclebuck16sk.jpg
Off the bat he does a joke - *crash*. He shows them a book he brought in, “Comedy Writing for Dummies”, then tries a joke *crash*. He starts doing his news, and inserting jokes between the stories. Ant says he won’t be playing the crash for his joke bombs during the news, but instead he starts stopping the teletype when a joke bombs. He runs out of new stories, and they give him extra stories to do. Pat tries to plug Jimmy’s Houston shows, but messes up the plug. They end his segment, and tell him they will bring him back in later, to do entertainment news. Pat tries a Britney Spears joke *crash*
• Op and Ant read the Instant Feedback about Pat’s news. Jimmy says that Pat was uncomfortable during the news without the car crash, and Op says he is finally getting the Pat from Moonachie thing now.
• They talk about a topic form yesterday, where they were talking about hot movie scenes. Ant tells the story of watching Swimming Pool for the first time, and Op says they will get the audio of the sex scenes for Monday.
• Audio from Monster’s Ball, with Billy Bob Thornton banging Halle Berry. Jimmy shows them his rod after the audio.
• Caller – they need to get a clip from Othello
• “How’s Your News” clip, of Al Franken being interviewed into break
Break
• Stalker Patti in studio. Jimmy says that Stalker Patti’s body looks like a pregnant snake. She says she needs to go to the gym more. Op says it’s weird how Patti accents words weird, like “Hy-Geene”. She says that she didn’t talk until she was three, and Op says he has that in common with her.
• They talk about the voice over that they did after the show last night, for the ad that will be shown on TV
• Back to Stalker Patti, they as why she is in studio. She says she got an email from Ben saying that they had a surprise for her. Master Po comes in studio, and they explain a gag they hinted at a few minutes before. They explain that Master Po says that they need to have a code so that Master Po knows when to come in studio – and he decided that they should say “It’s Hot in here” so he know that there is trouble. That is what they did five minutes prior, to make Po come running in. They say it would have been funny if Master Po had just run in and attacked Patti.
• They continue talking to Patti, asking her how her finances are. She says that she still using dial up because she cannot afford broadband or cable. She says that she never looks at dirty pictures online because she shares an email account. She tells them that there is porn that she is interested in looking at, but again she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t want the person she is sharing the account with to see. They give Patti a Hustler to check out, so she can see porn for the first time, and then ask her to describe what she is seeing. She says the woman and man are “making whoopee”. She also describes a picture of the woman giving a guy a blowjob as “sucking a lollipop”. They ask her to graphically describe it, but she can’t and she says “yuck”.
• She sees another picture where a guy is “t-f’ing” a girl, and Patty says that Brother Joe explained that to her. Op says Patti can’t do that because she has no boobs. On to another picture, this one a balloon knot scene. She still can’t graphically describe the scene, and she says “ewww” when she sees a money shot picture. She continues flipping through the magazine, and when she comes across a lesbian scene she says she is not into that. They ask her if she would go down on a guy, she says she wouldn’t. She keeps censoring her words. Finally they show her pictures of tranny ads. They have her read some of the sex line ads, and she giggles while reading it because she is embarrassed. Op says he thinks she is getting turned on reading the ads, and Jimmy says she has the sex appeal of Jean Stapleton. Op says after break they will tell Patti why they brought her in studio.
• Brother Joe’s Internet Porn song into break
Break
• Back from break they tell Patti the reason they brought her in – someone won the EBay auction for her “Opie and Anthony” nameplates, with a bid of $770. They say that they will only give her $40 of the money. The guy that won the bids came in, who is an owner of a restaurant. He says he figures it was a good way to advertise his restaurant, and during his 30 second plug he promos Jimmy’s Houston show. After his plug he hands them the money, and Op hands Patty $50 of it. Then Op offers her $100 to flash them, which she does.
• They play the theme music from “Let’s make a deal”, and then Ant offers Patty $200 to “show her vagina”. She wavers for a while, saying she doesn’t want them to lose respect for her – they say they never had any respect anyways. Finally they convince her to do it for 10 seconds. Jimmy says she doesn’t look too bad.
• They have $400 dollars left, so they start asking Patti what she would do with that money. She says she would go to Atlantic City, and op writes a suggestion to Ant about what they should have Patti do for $ 200. They say they want her to crawl from one end of the studio to the other side – naked! (dum dum dum!) After telling her, Op says she is looking like she is ready to faint. He offers her a compromise to hide her face, wear a “Krusty the Clown” mask. She agrees to do it and they set up a tarp so she can get naked and then she starts crawling across the studio.
http://img168.exs.cx/img168/2039/shiningdonna27vz.jpg
Jimmy says he got a partial rod from that.
• Now, with the final $200, they ask her what she is willing to do to get it. They try to think of suggestions for her. Ant offers a suggestion about her inserting two fingers, or cherry darts. She decides she would rather do cherry darts. Ant says this is for all the people that complain they haven’t been doing the things from the WNEW days. They take a break, and when they come back…Cherry Darts with Patty.
• FU line into break
Break
• Back from break, Patti tells them that she is going to be saving her last $200. They have her assume the position for Cherry Darts, and then start the game. They explain to her that she needs to open up her cheeks more, and she says that she doesn’t know how to do that. Op, Jimmy and Ant takes their shots, as well as the guy from the restaurant – (Rivoli’s in Toms River, New Jersey). She then cleans up, and they give her the $200. Ant says that they were honestly just going to hand her the money, until she came in studio. They thank her for coming in and she leaves to go to work. Op and Ant both say their favorite part of that was watching her walking across the floor with the mask.
• Pat from Moonachie comes back in studio to do the news. He tries a couple of jokes *crash* *crash* *crash*. Ben says that the listeners are loving Pat, and he is the favorite so far, beating even Club Soda Kenny. Pat starts doing the news, this time doing entertainment news, with an entertainment music background.
• Caller tries a joke *crash*
• Pat continues doing his news.
- Britney Story *crash*, *crash*, *crash*. Op says he hopes every story won’t be as long as this one. Pat tries a few jokes. *crash*
- Miss Info from Hot 97 returning to work. *crash* *crash*
- Donald Trump being called sexist( he makes a good no crash joke during the story)
- Hot teen news story *crash*
• Ant starts reading some of the instant feedback about Pat. Op says they have to give the Pat from Moonachie thing time, because at first he didn’t get it but now he can’t get enough of him.
• Steve C. comes in studio to talk about the new Ramon promo. He quickly explains what the basis of the Ramon promos is. They play two of the old promos as an example, and then they play the latest one – With the deep voiced guy using Ramon’s mouth as an ashtray.
• Ramon promo into break
Break
• Caller – thinks they should replace Jimmy with Pat. Op says maybe they will have Pat in the next time Jimmy goes on the road
• Caller - *crash*
• Caller – Dawn, from Staten Island, who says she wants to come in and do the news, with her shirt off, but not without her bra. Finally they convince her to do it topless, and they say that they will bring her in to do it.
• Caller – has a gimmick for Ant at the poker tournament.
• Pat tries another joke *crash*
• They start talking about their trips to LA next week. Ant reads a story from All Access talking about the trip. Op says they are getting a lot of press about this trip. Ben comes in and says that the World Poker Tour is being very secretive about which celebrities will actually be there, but they have heard that William Shatner, and Ozzy Ozbourne are among the people be mentioned.
• Caller – Celeste from CT, who says that her boyfriend lets her bang other men. He is married, and she lives with him and his wife, and they all go ahead and date other people. She also says that she sleeps with his wife as well. They ask her how they hooked up, she says they used to work together, and it developed from there. Pat tries a joke *crash*. She says that it has been going on for about 10 years now. She tells them that there are pictures of them at a website Here (http://www.skyewolfimages.com/images/private/), but she messes up the web address. Finally Steve gives them the website, and they are all disappointed when they finally see the pictures. Jimmy farts, and they all say it’s the worst ever. They end they show with the Bill phone call.
Program Complete
Photoshops by Nughuffer and cigarsandscotch (thanks for picking up the slack for CAGE today guys!)
• Thank God for Friday! Ant says he was in bed by 5:30 yesterday afternoon. They talk about how doing a morning show has really messed them up. Op says his whole dumping pattern is messed up, and he is going to the doctor today to get it checked out. He says he doesn’t care what the doctor does, he just wants it fixed. Ant says the problem with going to bed that early is that you will inevitably wake up, and the trick is to always stay in the sleep mode. Ant says the last time he got the “digit” at the doctor was when he was 7 years old. He also says that maybe Op might be a candidate for the “pipe” (colon exam). Op says his brother went for the pipe and had to get more medication because it started hurting. They start talking about how the pipe is smaller now, and they can’t imagine how big they were back in the days. Jimmy says that now there is a camera that can be swallowed, and take pictures of your colon.
• They switch to talking about Michael Jackson. Op says at first he actually thought that MJ wasn’t guilty, but after reading all the stuff is coming out he is definitely sure that he is. They talk about some of the evidence against him.
• Ant talks about seeing a Colombo episode with Johnny Cash in it.
• Caller – says that Op should use the “Anal Destroyer” to cure his problem
• Caller – story about a woman during a colon exam. They all pause, expecting a Jimmy Houston plug, but it’s a false alarm.
• Caller – talks about getting a rectal sonogram
• Caller – says that Op should do the virtual colonoscopy. He also talks about a procedure that involves sliding a tube inside your dick.
• Caller – says he got a colonoscopy 20 years ago, with no meds.
• “Poop Goes the Weasel” and “Coffee Diva” into break.
Break
• Op says Steve C came in to give him dump advice. He says he was explaining to Jimmy how hard and heavy his dumps were. Steve said that means that he is eating a lot of protein. He tries to explain and then he is interrupted by his Martini Steve music. He says he was talking to his trainer, and they ask him if the trainer puts a muzzle on him. This segues Op into a tangent about flipping channels and seeing how they treat the dancing bears. Back to Steve, he says that the trainer has explained the protein thing; Jimmy says Steve’s stomach is like a Wonka machine. Jimmy says he enjoyed seeing feta cheese come out his stomach when he had his colonics.
• Caller – he says that maybe there is a marshmallow stuck there.
• Ant says he doesn’t understand what happened to the hotness, because now here they are talking about dumps, and the pipe. Op says they definitely need to bring the hotness back. Op and Jimmy talk about a woman that emailed them with a picture of a swinging couple and the wife is really hot. The wife wants to come in and do the lesbian couch.
• They talk about Pat from Moonachie, and they say whenever they leave after the show they see him a lot outside, because he does deliveries and is always close by.
• Caller – a girl, asking where she can get a colonic, because she is constantly constipated. She says it’s the medication, because she takes meds for seizures *cue the laughter*. She says she has searched the internet, but Op says that the internet is for porn. Ant looks for the sound clip, but can’t find it because they switched his template.
• Op reads a story for the newspapers about Michael Jackson, and that the shape of his dick will come up during the case. Apparently, according to the story it has rings around it, which is due to his skin bleaching process.
• They play audio from a news report about Jacko.
• Caller – tries a joke and bombs, but saves it with a Pat from Moonachie impression.
• “How’s Your Whole Family” into break
Break
• Op brings up the story about the waitresses at the Borgata, and a new rule that starts on Monday that states that they are not allowed to gain 7 lbs or else they will be fired. Ant says that’s only fair, because their job description is to be hot. Op says that one waitress will sue, and that will be enough to end that rule.
• Switch to talking about baseball, and the front page of the NY Post, which has a story about David Wells. Ant says he is considering Mets season tickets, because his chick is a Met fan.
• They also talk about the Cosby groping charges being dropped. Ant says that it would take a lot of evidence for the Cos to lose his credibility. Op says that he thinks Cosby’s comedy is brilliant because he likes the long story style of comedy, and Jimmy says that his problem with Cosby is that his comedy is totally opposite to how he actually is.
• They play audio of a bit that Op says he heard and liked. It’s a long bit, so Op says they will count how long it takes to get the laugh part. Ant starts doing the Cos, telling long winding jokes.
• Pat from Moonachie comes in studio, to do his first news segment.
http://img153.exs.cx/img153/1659/unclebuck16sk.jpg
Off the bat he does a joke - *crash*. He shows them a book he brought in, “Comedy Writing for Dummies”, then tries a joke *crash*. He starts doing his news, and inserting jokes between the stories. Ant says he won’t be playing the crash for his joke bombs during the news, but instead he starts stopping the teletype when a joke bombs. He runs out of new stories, and they give him extra stories to do. Pat tries to plug Jimmy’s Houston shows, but messes up the plug. They end his segment, and tell him they will bring him back in later, to do entertainment news. Pat tries a Britney Spears joke *crash*
• Op and Ant read the Instant Feedback about Pat’s news. Jimmy says that Pat was uncomfortable during the news without the car crash, and Op says he is finally getting the Pat from Moonachie thing now.
• They talk about a topic form yesterday, where they were talking about hot movie scenes. Ant tells the story of watching Swimming Pool for the first time, and Op says they will get the audio of the sex scenes for Monday.
• Audio from Monster’s Ball, with Billy Bob Thornton banging Halle Berry. Jimmy shows them his rod after the audio.
• Caller – they need to get a clip from Othello
• “How’s Your News” clip, of Al Franken being interviewed into break
Break
• Stalker Patti in studio. Jimmy says that Stalker Patti’s body looks like a pregnant snake. She says she needs to go to the gym more. Op says it’s weird how Patti accents words weird, like “Hy-Geene”. She says that she didn’t talk until she was three, and Op says he has that in common with her.
• They talk about the voice over that they did after the show last night, for the ad that will be shown on TV
• Back to Stalker Patti, they as why she is in studio. She says she got an email from Ben saying that they had a surprise for her. Master Po comes in studio, and they explain a gag they hinted at a few minutes before. They explain that Master Po says that they need to have a code so that Master Po knows when to come in studio – and he decided that they should say “It’s Hot in here” so he know that there is trouble. That is what they did five minutes prior, to make Po come running in. They say it would have been funny if Master Po had just run in and attacked Patti.
• They continue talking to Patti, asking her how her finances are. She says that she still using dial up because she cannot afford broadband or cable. She says that she never looks at dirty pictures online because she shares an email account. She tells them that there is porn that she is interested in looking at, but again she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t want the person she is sharing the account with to see. They give Patti a Hustler to check out, so she can see porn for the first time, and then ask her to describe what she is seeing. She says the woman and man are “making whoopee”. She also describes a picture of the woman giving a guy a blowjob as “sucking a lollipop”. They ask her to graphically describe it, but she can’t and she says “yuck”.
• She sees another picture where a guy is “t-f’ing” a girl, and Patty says that Brother Joe explained that to her. Op says Patti can’t do that because she has no boobs. On to another picture, this one a balloon knot scene. She still can’t graphically describe the scene, and she says “ewww” when she sees a money shot picture. She continues flipping through the magazine, and when she comes across a lesbian scene she says she is not into that. They ask her if she would go down on a guy, she says she wouldn’t. She keeps censoring her words. Finally they show her pictures of tranny ads. They have her read some of the sex line ads, and she giggles while reading it because she is embarrassed. Op says he thinks she is getting turned on reading the ads, and Jimmy says she has the sex appeal of Jean Stapleton. Op says after break they will tell Patti why they brought her in studio.
• Brother Joe’s Internet Porn song into break
Break
• Back from break they tell Patti the reason they brought her in – someone won the EBay auction for her “Opie and Anthony” nameplates, with a bid of $770. They say that they will only give her $40 of the money. The guy that won the bids came in, who is an owner of a restaurant. He says he figures it was a good way to advertise his restaurant, and during his 30 second plug he promos Jimmy’s Houston show. After his plug he hands them the money, and Op hands Patty $50 of it. Then Op offers her $100 to flash them, which she does.
• They play the theme music from “Let’s make a deal”, and then Ant offers Patty $200 to “show her vagina”. She wavers for a while, saying she doesn’t want them to lose respect for her – they say they never had any respect anyways. Finally they convince her to do it for 10 seconds. Jimmy says she doesn’t look too bad.
• They have $400 dollars left, so they start asking Patti what she would do with that money. She says she would go to Atlantic City, and op writes a suggestion to Ant about what they should have Patti do for $ 200. They say they want her to crawl from one end of the studio to the other side – naked! (dum dum dum!) After telling her, Op says she is looking like she is ready to faint. He offers her a compromise to hide her face, wear a “Krusty the Clown” mask. She agrees to do it and they set up a tarp so she can get naked and then she starts crawling across the studio.
http://img168.exs.cx/img168/2039/shiningdonna27vz.jpg
Jimmy says he got a partial rod from that.
• Now, with the final $200, they ask her what she is willing to do to get it. They try to think of suggestions for her. Ant offers a suggestion about her inserting two fingers, or cherry darts. She decides she would rather do cherry darts. Ant says this is for all the people that complain they haven’t been doing the things from the WNEW days. They take a break, and when they come back…Cherry Darts with Patty.
• FU line into break
Break
• Back from break, Patti tells them that she is going to be saving her last $200. They have her assume the position for Cherry Darts, and then start the game. They explain to her that she needs to open up her cheeks more, and she says that she doesn’t know how to do that. Op, Jimmy and Ant takes their shots, as well as the guy from the restaurant – (Rivoli’s in Toms River, New Jersey). She then cleans up, and they give her the $200. Ant says that they were honestly just going to hand her the money, until she came in studio. They thank her for coming in and she leaves to go to work. Op and Ant both say their favorite part of that was watching her walking across the floor with the mask.
• Pat from Moonachie comes back in studio to do the news. He tries a couple of jokes *crash* *crash* *crash*. Ben says that the listeners are loving Pat, and he is the favorite so far, beating even Club Soda Kenny. Pat starts doing the news, this time doing entertainment news, with an entertainment music background.
• Caller tries a joke *crash*
• Pat continues doing his news.
- Britney Story *crash*, *crash*, *crash*. Op says he hopes every story won’t be as long as this one. Pat tries a few jokes. *crash*
- Miss Info from Hot 97 returning to work. *crash* *crash*
- Donald Trump being called sexist( he makes a good no crash joke during the story)
- Hot teen news story *crash*
• Ant starts reading some of the instant feedback about Pat. Op says they have to give the Pat from Moonachie thing time, because at first he didn’t get it but now he can’t get enough of him.
• Steve C. comes in studio to talk about the new Ramon promo. He quickly explains what the basis of the Ramon promos is. They play two of the old promos as an example, and then they play the latest one – With the deep voiced guy using Ramon’s mouth as an ashtray.
• Ramon promo into break
Break
• Caller – thinks they should replace Jimmy with Pat. Op says maybe they will have Pat in the next time Jimmy goes on the road
• Caller - *crash*
• Caller – Dawn, from Staten Island, who says she wants to come in and do the news, with her shirt off, but not without her bra. Finally they convince her to do it topless, and they say that they will bring her in to do it.
• Caller – has a gimmick for Ant at the poker tournament.
• Pat tries another joke *crash*
• They start talking about their trips to LA next week. Ant reads a story from All Access talking about the trip. Op says they are getting a lot of press about this trip. Ben comes in and says that the World Poker Tour is being very secretive about which celebrities will actually be there, but they have heard that William Shatner, and Ozzy Ozbourne are among the people be mentioned.
• Caller – Celeste from CT, who says that her boyfriend lets her bang other men. He is married, and she lives with him and his wife, and they all go ahead and date other people. She also says that she sleeps with his wife as well. They ask her how they hooked up, she says they used to work together, and it developed from there. Pat tries a joke *crash*. She says that it has been going on for about 10 years now. She tells them that there are pictures of them at a website Here (http://www.skyewolfimages.com/images/private/), but she messes up the web address. Finally Steve gives them the website, and they are all disappointed when they finally see the pictures. Jimmy farts, and they all say it’s the worst ever. They end they show with the Bill phone call.
Program Complete
Photoshops by Nughuffer and cigarsandscotch (thanks for picking up the slack for CAGE today guys!)