Fuck You Verison

[DjAnalLightBulb]

Actual phone call I took today at 7 o'clock in the fucker morning:

Ben from Verison: Hello Mr. Lightbulb? (not my real last name, jackasses)
Me: Uh yeah
Ben: This is Ben from Verison and I see that you owe us 76 dollars and 32 cents
Me: Uh yeah
Ben: Do you have your checkbook handy?
Me: Do you realize what fucking time it is?
Ben: Oh I'm sorry sir, I'm in California
Me: Well I'm in Texas and it's the ass-crack of dawn
Ben: I apologize about that, so do you want to take care of this bill right now?
Me: I don't know Ben. I just don't know.
Ben: Well sir, we will have to turn this debt over to a collection agency if it is not paid in full by the 25th of this month
Me: Of that's awful Ben (massive sarcasm)
Ben: We can accept 20 dollars right now to freeze the account so that it won't be sent to collection. So do you want to get your checkbook?
Me (lying): I have no bank account
Ben: How about a major credit card?
Me (lying): Nope
Ben: Are you curenntly working?
Me: Yep
Ben: What are you doing?
Me: I'm a mime (do I really have to say I'm lying here?)
Ben: Really?
Me: Actually I'm a mime in training
Ben: Ok sir are you married or single?
Me (lying): Married
Ben: What's your wife's name?
Me: Babs
Ben:What does she do?
Me: She was a stripper but got fired for blowing clients
Ben: Ok Mr. Lightbulb if you decide to make a payment please give us a call. You have a good day now
Me: Yeah fuck off

Note: I cancelled my Verison cell phone account over a year ago. Why they are just now wanting their money is beyond me. I hate the way these douce-bags try to strong arm and intimidate people.

[OAsarg]

You handled that like a pro. Excellent job!
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[DjAnalLightBulb]

You handled that like a pro. Excellent job!
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:


Why thank you sugar britches

[DjAnalLightBulb]

Good luck getting a mortgage a few years from now.
The fiance's parents are loaded....They are buying us a house after we get married :action-sm

Also man....my credit is so fucked as it is...I have completly stopped caring

[OAsarg]

The fiance's parents are loaded....They are buying us a house after we get married :action-sm

Also man....my credit is so fucked as it is...I have completly stopped caring

You lucky dog you :icon_mrgr

[DjAnalLightBulb]

Good luck getting a mortgage a few years from now.


Also man....I've dealt with shit like this before....this Verison thing won't follow me...They'll send a couple of letters...maybe call a few times then it will go away....it won't show on my credit and even if it does it will be minute.

[zag_mobile]

(it's VeriZon :) ... just sayin' )

[DjAnalLightBulb]

(it's VeriZon :) ... just sayin' )

You are correct sir...I guess if I'm gonna post a thread bashing a company I should spell it correctly....

[beenhere47yeers]

Also man....my credit is so fucked as it is...I have completly stopped caring[/QUOTE]


i have tried to stop caring completely as well but i just cant get these vulchers off my ass. student loans r the worst. i usally just tell them im checking to see if hes home (me), and then leave em on for as long as they hold there stupid ear up to the phone. but i think im gonna try some of your techneques there mr. lightbulb...

[DjAnalLightBulb]

Best technique:

"Hello, may I speak with John Doe?"
You: "This is John's boss. John isn't allowed to take personal calls while he's working. Please don't call here again. Click."

They are not allowed to call you at work if your employer prohibits it.

Found this on google:

http://cobrands.business.findlaw.com/bankruptcy/nolo/ency/A2589BA5-F43A-43D4-93F46C72F43DCF45.html


good idea....however I thouroghly enjoy fucking with these people...they can call me all they want...if you notice from my original post, I started off pissed but just started goofy on shit after a minute or two.

[Dead EditHer]

Those cell phone people are so ridiculous, you ask the CSR to speak with a supervisior, they tell you "Oh, he's busy and can't talk right now." Bullshit, I also love how the service reps get all offensive when you try to politely dispute an irregularity on your phone bill. True story, a friend of mine gets a charge for text messaging on his sprint phone on the 3rd of his 3 free months. The reprsentative he tries to talk to yells at him when he tries to explain that he was still in the free period. Needless to say, he lays into the supervisior that calls him back to see what happens. I don't know what happened next since we are on semester break from school, but he told me he was worried that he would have to go to court over this problem.

[watsonnostaw]

:clap:
FUCK YOU TO THOSE PEOPLE THAT CAN NOT SPELL VERIZON

[Pork Flaps]

Send them a check for a dollar per month, as long as you are attempting to pay your bill they can only continue to harass you about it. The laws may be different where you live. I think ( and I could be wrong, dont slam me for trying to help ass's) business's cant send the bill to a collection agency unless you refuse to pay. Eventually bad credit will come back to haunt you if you let it.

[Smoke]

Let's not forget the big F U to the PEOPLE THAT TYPE IN ALL CAPS LIKE IT'S COMPUSERVE, 1986.
Maybe his Commodore's caps lock is stuck on and he can't find a replacement.