FUCK YOU door dinging mother fucker

[tickie2]

I park my car AS FAR AS I POSSIBLY CAN from the store so I don't get door dings. Today, I come out of the store, and, some mother fucker has parked RIGHT NEXT TO ME...MILLION other places to park, million open spaces, BUT NO. Has to park RIGHT next to me AND THEN door dings me. I AM FUCKING ENRAGED.

I don't take up 2 spaces or do any of that obnoxious shit. I just want to keep my car ding free as long as I can. I'm not disrespecting anyone. WHY, OH WHY do people do that?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo FUCK YOU. Rot in hell.

[pointblankJ9]

Uggh, I hate door dinging motherfuckers as well. I have a tiny car. A little Toyota. EVERY day I find a new one at work. They keep making the spaces smaller at work, and the fuckers with the SUV's don't seem to notice (or care) when they fuck up a little car.

[stevethrower]

Sir might I suggest the diagonal parking route... meaning park diagonally over two spots (ala Boomhauer) that way no one can get close to you?

[Sinn Fein]

Some cocksucker did this to me when I first got my '64 Impala. One of the first times I had it out, I went to the local mall to catch a movie and parked 500 YARDS from the mall itself. I parked in the parking lot for a CLOSED AND DEMOLISHED supermarket that was adjacent to the mall. There were NO OTHER VEHICLES parked in that lot at all, there was NO REASON for anyone to park there. I came out and some asshole in a late-model Mustang was parked IN THE SPACE RIGHT NEXT TO ME, and I had a paint mark on my door that matched and lined up with the door on his car.

To teach him a lesson, I mule-kicked the left-side rear quarter panel, which is where the inertia switch is for the fuel pump. In the event of a collision, the inertia switch disables the electric fuel pump so that you don't keep pumping raw fuel onto the ground if you collide with another vehicle and the fuel system sustains damage.

I then proceeded to go to the auto parts place across the road to get some polishing compound and worked on removing the paint mark. I had the satisfaction of watching this prick get back to his car and find it unable to start. It felt great watching him freak out, look under the hood, and do all kinds of other shit. The best part was when the towtruck came.

[Fruit Monkey]

try the assholes at the car wash did it to me needles to say i grabbed the little 3 world country mother fucker by the next in the office as they where about to call the cops on me i explained how he laughed when it happend ....... yes they paid for dent x ... works well on door dings......

[stevethrower]

Or perhaps getting a set of these...

http://www.greatoutdoors.com/kwiktek/boating/jetlogicpwcinflatablefender.html

[tattered]

Some cocksucker did this to me when I first got my '64 Impala. One of the first times I had it out, I went to the local mall to catch a movie and parked 500 YARDS from the mall itself. I parked in the parking lot for a CLOSED AND DEMOLISHED supermarket that was adjacent to the mall. There were NO OTHER VEHICLES parked in that lot at all, there was NO REASON for anyone to park there. I came out and some asshole in a late-model Mustang was parked IN THE SPACE RIGHT NEXT TO ME, and I had a paint mark on my door that matched and lined up with the door on his car.

To teach him a lesson, I mule-kicked the left-side rear quarter panel, which is where the inertia switch is for the fuel pump. In the event of a collision, the inertia switch disables the electric fuel pump so that you don't keep pumping raw fuel onto the ground if you collide with another vehicle and the fuel system sustains damage.

I then proceeded to go to the auto parts place across the road to get some polishing compound and worked on removing the paint mark. I had the satisfaction of watching this prick get back to his car and find it unable to start. It felt great watching him freak out, look under the hood, and do all kinds of other shit. The best part was when the towtruck came.

the very week i got my new truck some asswhole actually hit it and took a big chip of paint of my front driver side fender flare...i actually cried

[stevethrower]

That sucks... I drive a POS... so when I go the hoity toity mall now... people in 100 000 bmw's tend not to cut me off etc... fuck I need to get a new car....

[click]

that sucks man. i don't know if people are careless or just don't give a shit about their cars anymore. i park away from everone too, but there's always some a-hole parked right on top of me. i got two dings that i need to fix now on my '04 traibalazer.

[agentcg]

Yesterday I saw this persons driver side door completely pushed back like that one scene at the gas station in Tommy Boy. It must have been hit pretty hard too because the window was entirely shattered.

[cableone12]

i park far away as well.(my wife hates it cause she has to walk 300 yards, oh well) it never fails, some stupid idiot always decides to park next to me even though im surrounded by empty spots. I hate people!!

[Rob]

one of the reasons that i have 2 cars is because of this... my '03 VW is still a virgin... my '96 VW is not...

[DjAnalLightBulb]

First new car I ever bought was a '96 Cougar, black.
I had it for about 2 weeks when I came out of one of the rest stops between Boston and NY. Right below the door handle was a nice dent. Like a ball peen hammer mark.
On the black paint I saw it from across the lot. No cars were next to me when I came out so the fucker must have run when he saw what he did.
I swear I would have gone to jail if someone was there. You can't measure the anger! I'm still pissed about it. Little fucking cunts that don't think. I'd love to see some asshole do this and get choked.


You seem to have some unresolved anger. Dr. Phil always says you should replace anger with some online poker or a threesome. I don't know, I may be prying but I just care about you sweetheart

[Tickbrotha]

Some twat nailed my passanger door in the garage Drexel.
And took a nice chunk of paint off.

So I removed the inner core of her valve stems with one of these.

http://www.dual-star.com/index2/Images%20JPG/CORE_REMOVER.JPG
Car sat there for a week.

[Hoagie]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y28/cloudmax/cricket.jpgYou're going to replace your unresolved anger with Entomology?

[stevethrower]

You're going to replace your unresolved anger with Entomology?

I think he means specifically....

http://www.fcps.k12.va.us/KingsParkES/technology/t4t/cricketnews/

Heh..mmphhhfff, uh...ha...whehhh

What nothing?

[DoughBoy]

My first 'car' was an 88 Full Size GMC 3/4 ton truck that I kept PERFECT. It was my grandfather's and he never drove it (had 15k on it when I got it). Washed, waxed, crazy. One day I stopped by my friend's house. When he came out, he was like "What the fuck happend?" After getting out and coming around the truck there was a HUGE dent in the passenger side with a large footprint in the center.

I have never found out who did it, but if I do, they will never walk again.

[cigarsandscotch]

Rules to avoid door dinging.....

Never park near.....
1) Cars with "foreign" bumber stickers, CDs or flags hanging from mirror.
2) Cars that old people drive I.E. Crown Vics, Coups, Caddies ETC.
3) Cars with toys inside.
4) Minivans, or cars with soccer stickers on them.
5) Real beat up pieces of shit.
6) A car that you just saw some really fat fuck hobble out of.
7) Cars with bandanas tied around them, HOO HOO

[DjAnalLightBulb]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y28/cloudmax/cricket.jpg

I suck I know. Maybe I should've gone with a white shorts joke or something

eh..uh...ya know...heh...mffggg

[click]

Rules to avoid door dinging.....

Never park near.....
1) Cars with "foreign" bumber stickers, CDs or flags hanging from mirror.
2) Cars that old people drive I.E. Crown Vics, Coups, Caddies ETC.
3) Cars with toys inside.
4) Minivans, or cars with soccer stickers on them.
5) Real beat up pieces of shit.
6) A car that you just saw some really fat fuck hobble out of.
7) Cars with bandanas tied around them, HOO HOO

Any ideas how to keep them from parking next to you? I always park away from everyone and usually find a #6 just getting out of the car next to mine.

[tickie2]

Any ideas how to keep them from parking next to you? I always park away from everyone and usually find a #6 just getting out of the car next to mine.

There's no way to stop it, I don't think. I swear there must be people in the world that just get off on fucking up the day of people who respect their shit and want to keep it nice.

People just suck.

[AJellyDonut]

There's no way to stop it, I don't think. I swear there must be people in the world that just get off on fucking up the day of people who respect their shit and want to keep it nice.

People just suck.


Blame it on jewish women. I believe all the fucking dents in my car are due to these old (C-word alert) cunts trying get to Dress Barn as quick as possible.

[roche]

1) Cars with "foreign" bumber stickers, CDs or flags hanging from mirror.

Anyone with a cd hanging from their rearview mirror needs to be gangraped.

[AJellyDonut]

Anyone with a cd hanging from their rearview mirror needs to be gangraped.

Messicans love that shit. If your going to gangrape them in the back seat of their rides make sure to clear away all the soccer balls and dish towels. Actually, keep the dishtowels, they may come in handy to muffle their cries. I'm going to hell.

[cigarsandscotch]

The scariest trifecta of bad driving is the ASIAN, FEMALE, MINIVAN driver. Call me a pussy, but I swerve off the road to avoid this combo.

[DjAnalLightBulb]

The scariest trifecta of bad driving is the ASIAN, FEMALE, MINIVAN driver. Call me a pussy, but I swerve off the road to avoid this combo.

I can spot them from miles away...at least driving 15 miles an hour below the speed limit and they always seem to almost swerve right into me when I pass.

Also any redneck in a truck with a rebel flag on it somewhere in traffic. Stay away from these assholes if you can. These are the types that will follow you to your house and beat the shit out of you right on your front lawn because somehow YOU were responsible for traffic.

[SirSkeet]

Find a corner spot in the lot so noone can park on one side of you, and hope the spot next to it is empty. Then park in both spots, but you run the risk of some tool not liking you taking 2 spots and keying it.

[Fr. Dougal]

I was outside of work waiting to pull out of my spot when a taxi pulled up next to me... stopped because the street was packed at the red light. The passenger, a giant fat nignog golfer swung the door open and slammed it into mine, and got out.

I was so fucking shocked that she did it with a smirk on her face, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to either run her watermelon-eating ass down, or get out and punch that fat fuck. Too many people around, and I fagged out (as Jimmy would say). In hindsight, I should have said something.

What's the best way to fuck up a car in a parking lot, though? If someone ever does ding me again, I have to do something back. Something worse than keying the car... And something I can do that the cameras won't catch... hehe

[ASSBAG]

The scariest trifecta of bad driving is the ASIAN, FEMALE, MINIVAN driver. Call me a pussy, but I swerve off the road to avoid this combo.



I'll go one more, anyone with a wheel chair on the license plate. I always had problems with broken people, their disability is probably a result from their driving.