Girl at work....Wackbaggers help!!

[DefJef]

I have this problem - there is this girl at work that I am absolutely going crazy over. Every time I see her during the day, when she walks by, I want to pounce on her, throw her down onto a desk, and fuck the shit out of her. Whenver I talk to her I get too nervous b/c of my obcession. What should I do. How can I make an work fuck happen?
thx

[d0uche_n0zzle]

First never go any where with a load gun. Unload that fucker before you talk to her.

[roche]

Don't shit where you eat

[Hoagie]

You can act like a man! *SLAP* What's the matter with you?!

[StonerJack]

I have this problem - there is this girl at work that I am absolutely going crazy over. Every time I see her during the day, when she walks by, I want to pounce on her, throw her down onto a desk, and fuck the shit out of her. Whenver I talk to her I get too nervous b/c of my obcession. What should I do. How can I make an work fuck happen?
thx
Definitely leave numerous voice mails about what you want to do to her, and have her give you a sign if she's into it.

[turdfrgsn]

first of all, how bad do you want to keep that particular job?
and i only mention this because of the old adage about dipping one's pen in the company ink

that said, scrap on, my friend, scrap on

everyday before work

[bubbawadd]

If you don't give a shit about the job, just go for it and see what happens. If you care, don't walk away, RUN THE FUCK AWAY. In the end it will bite you in the ass!!!!

[Kate]

Until she jumps you first, don't do anything. And if she does, have fun and get the want ads ready. These things never work out well...

[Mommadeez4u]

This Thread Is Worthless Without Photos.

[tstlkevanilla]

Yeah.. speaking from experience, I know they never end up good.

[SatansCheerledr]

Don't shit where you eat. Don't get your bread and your meat from the same shop. Don't fish off the company pier. Don't do it fucker. It will end in tears.

[ASSBAG]

Do not go there, if you or her leaves the job go for it.
1 you can loose your job.
2 if she turns out psycho, you can't hide.

[askewcore]

Just be a man and take what's yours sir.

[Mad Gerbil]

I have this problem - there is this girl at work that I am absolutely going crazy over. Every time I see her during the day, when she walks by, I want to pounce on her, throw her down onto a desk, and fuck the shit out of her. Whenver I talk to her I get too nervous b/c of my obcession. What should I do. How can I make an work fuck happen?
thx
NEXT TIME YOU SEE HER TELL HER YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER IN PRIVATE...

tell her you don't want to scare her but...(begin to unzip your pants)...you have to fuck her...

if she starts to run grab her by her hair and do her like Kobe did that white gurl in Colorado,,,supposing you have the hog for that... otherwise make her feel like she did in elementary school playing doctor


either way start looking for a new job while she is wiping the map of Hawaii off her back

[NUGHUFFER]

Thank god i'm married! If I had to ask you maniacs for advice I might wind up in jail. :icon_mrgr

[Sack of Chisels]

You need to be discreet about it, if she's into it she will look at you and say "Yes."

[al885]

Im wondering the same thing, a girl at work is interested in me. She is in a different department so its fair game... i just havent seen her lately to talk to her

[roche]

She is in a different department so its fair game...

That means nothing. Don't do it.

[zagman76]

Stay the fuck away from work fucks! They don't work out (mostly)...

I dated 2 girls that I met at work - each for 2 years. The only reason why I broke up with the 2nd one was because I moved out of the area, and even then, we broke up officially about 6 months after I moved.

[PrncssNikki]

You can act like a man! *SLAP* What's the matter with you?!

Yup.

If you insist on acting on it, just fucking suck it up and go for it. Start talking to her. it'll get easier the more you talk to her and get to know her. You're not going to get what you want by acting like a mumbling idiot.

[Torlough]

Don't shit where you eat

Best advice EVER

[Buffcoat]

Find a way to get her fired, and then be there when she needs a shoulder to cry on because she lost her job.

And don't give me any shit about feeling guilty - you're going to hell anyway!

[IdRathaHavaBeer]

i've dated two girls at the job i have, one for a year and a half and the other for over two years and still going. it's a little weird but my ex-girlfriend has quit a while ago so its a little less tense. roche is right, don't shit where you eat. both relationships where quiet at first but then eventually everyone found out. it started out with smoke breaks together then that led into casual dates after work which led to sex which led to relationship.

[kidconnor]

Can't work with the girl you bang! The 2 worlds cannot survive together. In costanza's words 'The 2 worlds are colliding Jerry'. You go to work she's there, you come home she's there. Cardinal rule #13 --Girls talk about everything!!! All your personal life will be brought to work= NFG. You got to have an escape man....DON"T DO IT. Of course bang her once then act like it never happened....OK

[Jolie]

Stay the fuck away from work fucks! They don't work out (mostly)...

Ordinarily I would agree. However, I made out with a coworker I was fucking on the side in the bank vault at work once. And we used to go in the back, behind the counter where the cameras didnt reach, and fondle eachother during the day. Our teller supervisor knew we were screwing and didn't care. In fact, she screwed him once too, but that was later after we weren't working for her anymore. Oh, and we (all three of us) used to come to work totally hungover, and our teller sup would decide which of us was least hungover and that person got to open the branch while the other went to get us all food.

God I miss that job.

Oh and I forgot to mention, I used to get the supervisor stoned. I REALLY miss that job.

[Glenn Dandy]

You can act like a man! *SLAP* What's the matter with you?!



Pretty much hits the nail on the head there. Just get her drunk, thats the easaiest way to bang any chic.

[Bach]

First make sure that Betsy's into it. Then lick her and fuck her and suck her and do drugs and just go crazy.

[al885]

That means nothing. Don't do it. I have to, man. She's been checking me out and asking my coworkers if im around. We are both young i am 19 she is around that also. It's a part time job for both of us.

[turdfrgsn]

Ordinarily I would agree. However, I made out with a coworker I was fucking on the side in the bank vault at work once. And we used to go in the back, behind the counter where the cameras didnt reach, and fondle eachother during the day. Our teller supervisor knew we were screwing and didn't care. In fact, she screwed him once too, but that was later after we weren't working for her anymore. Oh, and we (all three of us) used to come to work totally hungover, and our teller sup would decide which of us was least hungover and that person got to open the branch while the other went to get us all food.

God I miss that job.

Oh and I forgot to mention, I used to get the supervisor stoned. I REALLY miss that job.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA TERRIFIC.........THAT'S TERRIFIC

(closing account, stuffing money under mattress...........)

[BeltOfScotch]

I have this problem - there is this girl at work that I am absolutely going crazy over. Every time I see her during the day, when she walks by, I want to pounce on her, throw her down onto a desk, and fuck the shit out of her. Whenver I talk to her I get too nervous b/c of my obcession. What should I do. How can I make an work fuck happen?
thx

Next time you see her, start playing with your nipples and mouth "You're Dead." Gets them every time.

[TimTA95]

just make sure you read her clearly when you talk to her, if you come on to her and you get a bad vibe like shes not interested, its usually right. And after you tell her what you feel and she isnt interested, things can get pretty awkward becuase you have to work with or around her every day. personally its not worth it until she comes on to you.

[Ballbuster1]

Don't shit where you eat
Best advise IMO. It usually never works out.

[Tossed Salad]

my advice would be to just ask her out man. Life is way too short to just sit around wanting chicks. You have to take what's yours. Tell her that you want to take her out sometime, and see what she says. If she says no, take your rejection like a man. If it's a yes, tell her straight up how you feel. Quit thinking and start acting!

[Mommadeez4u]

You gotta use Mike's Five Point Plan:

First of all, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

[frankjg]

Three words - Ball Peen Hammer

[cableone12]

3 words: date **** drug

[Tossed Salad]

http://www.nodrugs.se/droger/narkotika/bilder/rohypnol.jpg

Here are the drugs. Save some for me.

[Tossed Salad]

sorry aboot the size, that was my first pic I posted :icon_redf

[Jolie]

You gotta use Mike's Five Point Plan:

Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."

Some women don't like this. It could definitely backfire. I would find it pretentious.

[THE FEZ MAN]

Don't shit where you eat
yep that about covers it

[turdfrgsn]

Some women don't like this. It could definitely backfire. I would find it pretentious.

debbie liked it..........and so did jennifer jason leigh

phoebe cates?

not so much..........but sweet jesus what cans! :action-sm

[Tossed Salad]

dude, just one rohypnol, and your in man

[Glenn Dandy]

Some women don't like this. It could definitely backfire. I would find it pretentious.


In case you were born after 1985 Jollie hes quoting a very famous bit from " FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMOINT HIGH."

FUCK DOESNT ANYBODY KNOCK ANY FUCKING MORE?

Phoeby ka :clap: tes has great cans.

[fandango86]

Don't shit where you eat

Why would he shit in her snatch? :icon_lol:

Seriously, if she's that hot and you're on a message board asking us what to do about her, it's not going to work out. She's upstairs fucking the guy from the Navy right now. You just be there to hold her hand when she OD's. However, if you can find a way to make it happen, don't let all these bullshitters tell you different - Do what they would do and HIT DAT!

[Jolie]

In case you were born after 1985 Jollie hes quoting a very famous bit from " FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMOINT HIGH."

FUCK DOESNT ANYBODY KNOCK ANY FUCKING MORE?

Phoeby ka :clap: tes has great cans.

I suck. born before 1985, but somehow managed to miss the 80's. I've even SEEN that movie and don't remember anything from it. In fact, we might OWN that movie. I really suck.

[Taso]

Take her out on a little car ride and give her the Mario test
Whats the Mario test you ask

"thats when you go out with this girl, and you take her for a ride on the freeway. then you gotta find one of these big 18 wheelers, and get the drivers attention. As soon as the driver is looking in your car, you grab this broads head and shove it between your legs. If she starts goin down on you, knowin the guy in the truck is watching, shes a slut and cant be trusted"

[Tossed Salad]

Take her out on a little car ride and give her the Mario test
Whats the Mario test you ask

"thats when you go out with this girl, and you take her for a ride on the freeway. then you gotta find one of these big 18 wheelers, and get the drivers attention. As soon as the driver is looking in your car, you grab this broads head and shove it between your legs. If she starts goin down on you, knowin the guy in the truck is watching, shes a slut and cant be trusted"

That's a terrific test sir! But what if she doesn't go down on you, but later admits that she wanted to? Do you dump her?

[SparrowHawk]

I read somewhere that like 60% of married couples meet at the workplace. I think it works cause you get to know the person, especially if you work closely with them. It can develop into a friendship, which most relationships start as anyway. Good luck man, hope it works out for ya.

[Taso]

That's a terrific test sir! But what if she doesn't go down on you, but later admits that she wanted to? Do you dump her?
See, if you watch The Bronx Tale they dont really give you an answer to that specific situation.

[SSNimrod]

Your 19, its a part time job............. = Do IT!!!

Whats the worst thing that can happen, its a part time job

[fred123]

Do it dude.Unless you own the company its a shitty job.Remember
3 in the peeenk 1 in the steeenk just like Dee Dee likes.

[SSNimrod]

Do it dude.Unless you own the company its a shitty job.Remember
3 in the peeenk 1 in the steeenk just like Dee Dee likes.


yea its a part time crappy job, so what do you have to lose?

She wants you

[SandyKanesRoid]

I have this problem - there is this girl at work that I am absolutely going crazy over. Every time I see her during the day, when she walks by, I want to pounce on her, throw her down onto a desk, and fuck the shit out of her. Whenver I talk to her I get too nervous b/c of my obcession. What should I do. How can I make an work fuck happen?
thx


i can tell you what "not" to do..... dont write her any love letters. you mispelling "OBSESSION" would probably turn her off...

sorry had to bust your chops!

[khemystri]

Until she jumps you first, don't do anything. And if she does, have fun and get the want ads ready. These things never work out well...

Hello EXACTLY.... Kates right.

This will never work... And even if it does, you'll hate working with your
girl...

[al885]

Turns out the girl checking me out at work is 22 and i am 19... gotta go for it

[sued]

sexual harassment charges come quickly to mind. excuse the pun. Quit or stay away.

Wait- how old are you? Am I missing something? If this is a part time job and you are 19- knock yourself out, kid!

[al885]

sexual harassment charges come quickly to mind. excuse the pun. Quit or stay away.

Wait- how old are you? Am I missing something? If this is a part time job and you are 19- knock yourself out, kid!I dont know about the original poster who started this thread. but im in a similar situation

[Smoke]

I have to, man. She's been checking me out and asking my coworkers if im around. We are both young i am 19 she is around that also. It's a part time job for both of us.
Go for it. You only live once.
Quit thinking and start acting!
That's what alcohol is for.

[Fr. Dougal]

I'm in the same boat kinda... There's this great girl at work I've kinda been hinting to that I'm into her. "I'm so fucking into you, blah blah"</pat o'brien> A few times, I've thrown out a line like "when are you gonna break up with your boyfriend and go out with me?" And she'll always respond with a playful "we'll see" or something like that. I love flirting with this chick, she's got such a great attitude.

Of course, it sucks, because she's taken... So obviously, I'd never move in on her or probably won't push it any further... but the fact that we're so friendly makes it easy to joke around with her like that. There are some chicks who are so stuck up, simple joking like that could lead to a meeting in HR. At least I'm getting the hint out there, though... just in case! (And it turns out, she loves the norton-style humor! Nearly made her choke last week with an Andrea Yates reference.. .and she gets a kick outta the self-depricating humor too.)

[sender_name]

Just make sure that if there is any chance of a harrasment issue that you have your ass covered...Something that proves that she was into it. Make her pick the date spot...tell a 3rd party that she asked YOU out...something like that...Oh, and when a chick says "we'll see"...not feeling it Hanny, sorry buddy :( That stikes me as an uncomfortable response...

[al885]

carry about a tape recorder to document you didnt harass her

[Tossed Salad]

walk up to her with a gun, and command her to bend over!! Then start munching on her fine ass :icon_mrgr

[sued]

problem is most of the time it doesn't really matter if the harrassment happened or not. If things turn bad and she feels like being a bitch all she has to do is say something happened. Corporations are so paranoid they won't tolorate even the thought of it. Plus if you are in a career making job you don't want to have a hole in your resume. I know I sound paranoid but in my experience you never really know people you work with until its too late.

[al885]

problem is most of the time it doesn't really matter if the harrassment happened or not. If things turn bad and she feels like being a bitch all she has to do is say something happened. Corporations are so paranoid they won't tolorate even the thought of it. Plus if you are in a career making job you don't want to have a hole in your resume. I know I sound paranoid but in my experience you never really know people you work with until its too late.it would be a fun way to go out of a part time job, you'd point to her in the hallway and be like "haha that chick blew me" on your last day

[Jolie]

Oh, and when a chick says "we'll see"...not feeling it Hanny, sorry buddy :( That stikes me as an uncomfortable response...

Yeah, I hate to say it but in "GirlSpeek" "we'll see" means "if I happen to break up with the guy I am dating, and nothing better comes along, and I'm in for a no strings attached lay, then I'll give you a call"

Sorry dude.

[Dugout Doug]

Ok, I'll go serious here.

#1 STOP THINKING ABOUT FUCKING HER

They can smell it on you. Talk to her a little, then stop talking to her. Don't be a dick, but kinda blow her off. Have a few good conversations, then walk by for a week without even aknowledgeing her.

That will establish that you do not want to fuck her, hence making her wonder why. Instead of you being interested in FUCKING her, she will be interested on why you don't want to.

#2 be yourself, joke, whatever, make her laugh, they also know when you are fronting.

#3 Rent the Tao of Steve. All this advise (which has worked FLAWLESSLY for me in the past 15+ years) is all laid out in an entertaining 90 something minute movie.

Good luck, and post a pic of her.

Fucking stalker.

EDIT: I have also banged a few women I have worked with, I never had a problem with it. One actually followed me to my new job. :)

[Mommadeez4u]

The movie by this name is about the exploits of a philosophy major who has used his extensive knowledge of worldwide philosophy to justify his American slacker ethic. Through his alleged enlightenment, he has refactored out just about all the responsibility from his life. The focus of the movie is on how the overweight, nearly-destitute protagonist somehow manages to get laid constantly through this alleged enlightened detachment.

Based on the more-or-less true story of a man named Duncan North. For those who think DatingIsHarderThanProgramming, this man has allegedly refactored the entire seduction process into a three-step system:

1. Eliminate your desire. Perhaps an improvement over BeYourself that addresses the cause of tongue-tiedness and insincerity.
2. Do something exceptional in her presence. Which can be as simple as being outgoing with a group of children.
3. Retreat. The underlying principle being that we pursue that which retreats from us.

The system is named after all the famous actors named Steve (McQueen, for example) who always played these smooth guys who never tried to impress anyone, but always got the girl.

[CallmeQtie]

Bend her over the desk and just bang the snot out of her......what are you waiting for? Do it! Take it from one who has been there and done that, it doesn't always end bad, sometimes it just ends. I say go for it!

[Fr. Dougal]

Oh, and when a chick says "we'll see"...not feeling it Hanny, sorry buddy :( That stikes me as an uncomfortable response...

She was looking over her shoulder and smiling back at me at the time... Should have made that clearer. Both of us were flirting. And I know her pretty well now. :) I'm pretty sure she'd go out with me if she was single. (Ha! How's that for the confidence women used to tell me I don't have!)

[Jimmy's Dignity]

I say get a new job, get a bunch of people to go out for drinks after work. Once you're "courageous" enough, tell her that you just want to eat her ass and maybe have her eat yours...if that doesn't work, just hold a rock over her head

[Dugout Doug]

The movie by this name is about the exploits of a philosophy major who has used his extensive knowledge of worldwide philosophy to justify his American slacker ethic. Through his alleged enlightenment, he has refactored out just about all the responsibility from his life. The focus of the movie is on how the overweight, nearly-destitute protagonist somehow manages to get laid constantly through this alleged enlightened detachment.

Based on the more-or-less true story of a man named Duncan North. For those who think DatingIsHarderThanProgramming, this man has allegedly refactored the entire seduction process into a three-step system:

1. Eliminate your desire. Perhaps an improvement over BeYourself that addresses the cause of tongue-tiedness and insincerity.
2. Do something exceptional in her presence. Which can be as simple as being outgoing with a group of children.
3. Retreat. The underlying principle being that we pursue that which retreats from us.

The system is named after all the famous actors named Steve (McQueen, for example) who always played these smooth guys who never tried to impress anyone, but always got the girl.


That was exactly what I was going to post, but didn't have the time.

Hahaha

But seriusly, those of you that have seen me know I am avg at best. A little over weight, but avg. I have banged some women, that on paper, I should never even be able to talk to.

This movie, worked for me.

[sued]

Confidence is everything. You can fake it. No one will know but you. That is the secret and I don't mind sharing it. The whole ignoring thing is just annoying to girls. The reason it works is b/c no girl wants a desperate guy. We can smell desperation miles away and it stinks! Biggest turn off, worse then just about everything. Now, I've just revealed the big secret. It looks obvious but you would be surprised how many guys know it but still panic and fuck it all up.

Ask her out for a drink. See where it goes. Just don't let her get drunk. Tipsy is ok but not drunk. Then she has no one to blame the next morning but herself if she regrets it (nothing personal).

[DefJef]

Mission accomplished!
The two of us are on the same project team, and were working late on Monday. Around ten we finished off stuff, and then went out for drinks after. We ended up hooking up at her place - so not exactly "at work" but she gave a great bj! She wouldn't do more, but I'll be pushing for it next time we are there late, which happens often....hehehe! I'm a happy man!

[Fr. Dougal]

Congrats dude!

[LilEvilGrin]

Ok, I'll go serious here.

#1 STOP THINKING ABOUT FUCKING HER

They can smell it on you. Talk to her a little, then stop talking to her. Don't be a dick, but kinda blow her off. Have a few good conversations, then walk by for a week without even aknowledgeing her.

That will establish that you do not want to fuck her, hence making her wonder why. Instead of you being interested in FUCKING her, she will be interested on why you don't want to.

#2 be yourself, joke, whatever, make her laugh, they also know when you are fronting.

#3 Rent the Tao of Steve. All this advise (which has worked FLAWLESSLY for me in the past 15+ years) is all laid out in an entertaining 90 something minute movie.

Good luck, and post a pic of her.

Fucking stalker.

EDIT: I have also banged a few women I have worked with, I never had a problem with it. One actually followed me to my new job. :)


that sounds like it might work.. until someone with BALLS goes up to her and says " Hey wanna fuck?"..... who do ya think is gettin laid that night?

[Jimmy's Dignity]

#3 Rent the Tao of Steve. All this advise..... I'm a noob so I've got no business saying this, but I'm half a bottle of Bushmills in....it's "advice" not advise :icon_roll

[stabmasterarson]

it's either/or