Fuck You Golfers!!!!!

[Mike H]

My parents live in an "adult community" on a golf course. So, everyday there is a plethora of extremely shitty golfers* hacking their way through the course everyday. Most of them don't have the strength to drive the ball in the air, so damage hasn't been too too much of a problem, but this afternoon I found myself stunned.

Apparently, a fucking asshole golfer hit an iron on the second fairway, which is behind my house, over my house and managed to land it on my fucking windshield. I found my windshield cracked right in front of the steering wheel, heading in all directions with the center being a small circular shape.

I AM FUCKING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*for the purpose of this FU, golfer is to be defined as one who plays golf. I am not talking about persons of color.

[PrncssNikki]

What. the. fuck. I'd be so pissed.

We used to live across the street from a large golf course and the biggest problem we had was having to sift through our yard and look for stray golf balls before mowing the lawn.

[JoeyDVDZ]

I'm sorry, Mike. I chuckled anyway, thinking you were referring to persons of color. I would be seriously pissed if I had my windshield cracked by an inconsiderate golfer myself. Sorry to hear it, man.

[rahrah]

Mike - My parents are talking about moving to a place like that. How bad does it suck for a young kid? I just graduated college but I think I am gonna wind up moving out sooner than exepected if they go through with it.

[Mike H]

It's rough. I love the house we live in, but everything else pretty much blows. Plus, Jackson, NJ is, as far as I'm concerned, in the middle of fucking nowhere. I hate it, but I don't have the means to move out on my own quite yet. Believe me though, as soon as I can, I am out.

I am really having a bad week though. I got rear-ended on Monday. I must've done something to deserve this bad karma...

[rahrah]

Yeah, my parents are looking in Manalapan and I feel the same way about that town

[Smoke]

So take the bill to the main office and make a scene if they don't pay... Well, wait a week, then make the scene...

[Mike H]

So take the bill to the main office and make a scene if they don't pay... Well, wait a week, then make the scene...

Believe me, nothing doing there. Many fights have been waged over broken windows in my community and those who run the community and the golf course have refused any responsibility thus far. The only recourse I could possibly have would be to file a law suit and that is too long and expensive a process.

[fandango86]

Give your parents the bill and tell them 'welcome to the world of responsibility', and make them put it on their homeowners insurance. It's what they'd have to do if they had a friend over and the same thing happened. If they want to live on a golf course, they should take responsibility. Not the golfer, not the course, but your folks. Guess we'll know how that conversation goes if we get a 'FU to my folks for throwing me out of their house' thread in a few days...

[mainliner]

gotta ask something but you live on a golf course and youre surprised something was broken by a golf ball?

[Mike H]

If a kitchen window was broken, I would be a bit surprised, but I would understand it. The fact that a golf ball traveled over my house and landed on my windshield, which was sitting on my driveway shocks the hell out of me. That is not a crappy golf shot, that is a fucking catastrophy of a shot. We are talking a good 60-70 yards off of the fairway, not to mention the seemingly miniscule odds of the ball hitting the perfect trajectory that would allow it to land on my windshield, which was maybe three feet from the garage. Bounce or no bounce, that is some serious odds defying shit.

[Smoke]

Tear up the course at night, while drinking vodka on your dirtbike...

[Douchebag Listener]

You should really put more thought into the titles of your threads. I'm sure poor BAM got all excited before actually reading it. :icon_mrgr

[Death Metal Moe]

http://www.coasttocoasttickets.com/images/concerts_georgecarlin.jpg

This man has is so right on Golf Courses it's a fucking crime.

[Glenn Dandy]

Its the golfers responsibility not the course. if you read the back of your reciept when golfin it will say that,gotta see the guy do it and catch him.

[Mother Shucker]

I lived on a golf course for ten years, and my pickup got a dent in the side from a golf ball. This guy HAD to be hitting a ball towards the parking lot on purpose as it was a 90 degree angle off course.

[cableone12]

HAHAHA thats terrific, thats terrific!!








:icon_mrgr

[Jolie]

What. the. fuck. I'd be so pissed.

We used to live across the street from a large golf course and the biggest problem we had was having to sift through our yard and look for stray golf balls before mowing the lawn.

Thats all we've had so far too. But you have to be a pretty shitty golfer to hit our yard. It does happen though, a few times a week. Even *I* am a better golfer than that, and I suck ass.

[Mike H]

Thats all we've had so far too. But you have to be a pretty shitty golfer to hit our yard. It does happen though, a few times a week. Even *I* am a better golfer than that, and I suck ass.

It is truly astonishing to see how bad some of these golfers are.

As for my windshield, it was replaced yesterday. And mommy and daddy felt so bad about it that they agreed to pay for it. :)

[Jolie]

It is truly astonishing to see how bad some of these golfers are.

As for my windshield, it was replaced yesterday. And mommy and daddy felt so bad about it that they agreed to pay for it. :)

Go mommy and daddy!!

Yeah, how do you hit the ball BACKWARDS?

[Mike H]

Yeah, how do you hit the ball BACKWARDS?

I know it was probably the worst sequel ever made, but did you ever see Caddyshack II? There's one way.

[jpc165]

When I'm out golfing, I'll actually take a few extra shots towards any homes next to the course. Just for fun though.

What course do you live next to?

[p.niggity]

I like to aim for the golfers when I go to the driving range. It's pretty easy to look like you're aiming down the middle and shank one to the left - right over the screen and onto the fairway. It's a sport within a sport. :icon_mrgr

[Jolie]

So twice this week we've heard a really loud banging sound. Its a single, loud *thump*. Today we finally figured out what it is... its the golf balls hitting our house.

[kloraferm]

My parents live in an "adult community" on a golf course. So, everyday there is a plethora of extremely shitty golfers* hacking their way through the course everyday. Most of them don't have the strength to drive the ball in the air, so damage hasn't been too too much of a problem, but this afternoon I found myself stunned.

Apparently, a fucking asshole golfer hit an iron on the second fairway, which is behind my house, over my house and managed to land it on my fucking windshield. I found my windshield cracked right in front of the steering wheel, heading in all directions with the center being a small circular shape.

I AM FUCKING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*for the purpose of this FU, golfer is to be defined as one who plays golf. I am not talking about persons of color.
That's gotta suck living near a course. That thought crosses my mind every time I drive past one.
Nice that you included that little disclaimer though :rolleyes:
Seriously, sorry to hear about your car dude.

[Mike H]

Thanks. I just peeled the tape off the edges of my new windshield about ten minutes ago.

I am going to redirect my FU though, now that the windshield thing is over. Remember how I said I was rear ended last week? Well, Reverend Dan (I swear to God), the assfuck who hit me, begged me to let him take care of things without going to his insurance company. If I knew he was a reverend at the time, I would have pulled my cock out and let him blow me on the side of the road, but I didn't, so I said sure. Well, that was two weeks ago and guess what.... he pulling a Rich Vos. He never answers my calls and when I finally do get a hold of him, he says the right things and then never follows through. The guy at the body shop I use knows Reveren Dan and doesn't trust him enough to fix my car without the money up front. I guess I am calling his insurance company tomorrow morning...

FUCK YOU REVEREND DAN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LilEvilGrin]

FUCK YOU REVEREND DAN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


:icon_eek: well at least we know mikey is drivin the bus to hell as we beat the shit out of rev. Dan in the back

[O&AVirus&more]

*for the purpose of this FU, golfer is to be defined as one who plays golf. I am not talking about persons of color.
Oh, I was going to invite you in joining me in trashing another board with real golfers on it, but we obviousally hate diffrent golfers.


REACT TO ME: No, I am not a racist, but I have nothing better to do!

[jpc165]

Oh, I was going to invite you in joining me in trashing another board with real golfers on it, but we obviousally hate diffrent golfers.


REACT TO ME: No, I am not a racist, but I have nothing better to do!

Is that your pic in your avatar?

[O&AVirus&more]

Is that your pic in your avatar?
do as jimmy's site says!

[jpc165]

do as jimmy's site says!

Are you 12 or do you just have the downs?

[Bone Dry]

Thanks. I just peeled the tape off the edges of my new windshield about ten minutes ago.

I am going to redirect my FU though, now that the windshield thing is over. Remember how I said I was rear ended last week? Well, Reverend Dan (I swear to God), the assfuck who hit me, begged me to let him take care of things without going to his insurance company. If I knew he was a reverend at the time, I would have pulled my cock out and let him blow me on the side of the road, but I didn't, so I said sure. Well, that was two weeks ago and guess what.... he pulling a Rich Vos. He never answers my calls and when I finally do get a hold of him, he says the right things and then never follows through. The guy at the body shop I use knows Reveren Dan and doesn't trust him enough to fix my car without the money up front. I guess I am calling his insurance company tomorrow morning...

FUCK YOU REVEREND DAN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude you have to keep us up to date with this one. I actually got mad at some guy I never met. I couldn't even imagine how much I would want to kick that mother fucker’s ass if he pulled that shit on me.

[Goblin]

When I'm out golfing, I'll actually take a few extra shots towards any homes next to the course. Just for fun though.

What course do you live next to?

I've done that too. Also aim for passing cars on the highway. If George Carlin played golf with my buds he'd have a different opinion of the game.

[Mike H]

Mini Update: This douche bag called the auto body today and started bitching about me to the guy that runs the place, like he gives a shit. But he said that he wanted to call the state about me because I should have to take a test to keep my drivers license.

NEWS FLASH REVEREND DAN: When I am sitting still at a traffic light and you come out of a parking lot and hit me right in there rear bumper, that is YOUR fuck up, not mine!!! You stupid fucking cock sucker.

And you want the kicker? The guy at the auto shop explained today why he doesn't trust this guy. He and his son race cars and when his son was a kid, he used to race midget cars at a local place, where Reverend Dan had a spot set up to sell model cars and stuff. Well, Rich, my auto guy, saw this fucker, Reverend Dan, RIPPING OFF LITTLE CHILDREN! Can you believe that shit? What a scum bag!

As I was writing this, Rich called me again to tell me that the asshole finally came into the shop today and wrote him a check for the work to be done and the check cleared. The mans wife was going crazy because of some nasty things I said to her on the phone when her husband was ducking me, but fuck her too.

[Bone Dry]

You would make my day if you tell us you called her a C.

[Carrr]

As Carlin has said before "If you don't like the weather, move."