Update from the front lines.....

[Stenchfinger]

Report from the frontlines:
(You can start playing sad harmonica music now with battle sounds)

Sirs,

It’s bad out here. Our intel on these bastards was bad, and about 10 minutes ago we started losing men like Sandy Kane at a dating service.

The army expected the standard resistances we’ve been trained for, screeners, delays, caller ID, and overcoming our own speech impediments and low IQs. But suddenly we realized that these fuckers were FIGHTING BACK!

The lucky ones went first…

GooderBoy was charging the hill when he hit a Chick Fil A commercial that was eight minutes. BensHog was trying to hold his unit together after a segment by Moria took down 43 men. Their screams will forever haunt my dreams….

StealthPain was taken out by a weather report. A story about French fries took out entire the 3rd Calavary. PSAs were everywhere…. it all happened so fast.

I would like to be able to say I was brave, sirs. But I must admit I began to weep when I heard the 4th Watson Realty commercial. I fell on the field, sirs. I thought for sure that it was over.

As the monotone dribble of their commander washed over us, I tried to comfort a young man from Indiana. All he could keep saying was “Load up the kids and head out to Water Mania!…..load up the kids and head out to Water Mania!……”. How are we going to explain to his family what these heartless bastards have done?

Somewhere, I swear I heard a baby crying…..

I don’t know his name, but he was wearing an Ozzy T-Shirt and looked like a pasty angel. He came out of nowhere, sirs, and lifted my on his shoulders. “We’re not leaving any men behind!” he screamed, and lifted me over the FocusOnLearning.org PSA that had felled me. Before I could even thank him he was back on the field…

As Stalker Patty was tending my wounds, the men let out a cheer. In the distance, we could see four pests triumphantly hoisting a pair of Pat Battle’s dirty underwear on a make shift flag pole. “Ecstasy of the Gold” began to blare out of Pat from Moonachie’s Cadillac…

We’re taking that hill, sirs. Tell my wife I love her….



Private Stenchfinger, 34 infantry division, O&A Army

[theclown]

10-4. Thanks for the update. Eagle 1 out.

[realmenhatelife]

good work but "sandy kane at a dating service" deserves a car crash.

[dillweed]

oohrah gung ho ,private dillweed reporting for duty

[Dr Midnight]

Please don't saw off my sig pic... please... just let me keep my sig pic.

[askewcore]

I broke my avatar man, hold my hand....

[ChlorofirmDiva]

i love the smell of nortons farts in the morning. Smells like .........victory.

[khemystri]

This is my messageboard.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My messageboard is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it, as I must master my life.
Without me my messageboard is useless. Without
my messageboard, I am useless. I must fire my
quotes true. I must shoot more sarcastically than
my enemy who is trying to clown me. I must tool on
him before he tools on me. I will. Before God I swear
this creed. My messageboard and myself are defenders
of my dopie radio show. We are the masters of our
enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it.

until there is no enemy...

but peace. Amen. :action-sm

[ChlorofirmDiva]

This is my messageboard.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My messageboard is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it, as I must master my life.
Without me my messageboard is useless. Without
my messageboard, I am useless. I must fire my
quotes true. I must shoot more sarcastically than
my enemy who is trying to clown me. I must tool on
him before he tools on me. I will. Before God I swear
this creed. My messageboard and myself are defenders
of my dopie radio show. We are the masters of our
enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it.

until there is no enemy...

but peace. Amen. :action-sm
My message boards name is charlene sir!!!!

[flight42]

This is the greatest thing since Norton learned to masterbate.

[Voss's Tumor]

This is the greatest thing since Norton learned to masterbate.

And a Brooklyn whore wept

[Voss's Tumor]

I suggest a rousing game of Battlefield 2 to get your blood pumping before the attack.

http://www.eagames.com/official/battlefield/battlefield2/us/home.jsp

Man, makes me think of the smell of all those Asian children simmering in the Napalm.

[lacis swimcoach]

I was a sniper in the Corps, Maybe we can get a covert blackops team to the station in Orlando to put a WOW sticker on his car. Not a shitload of them, just one well placed on the back bumper down low where it will go unnoticed for awhile. I used to put pride rainbows on my friends' cars this way and they would stay there for WEEKS! I categorically deny having just made this suggestion.

[WyldeBill]

Stenchfinger, that was an explanation worthy of a Pulitzer....you could actually smell the gunpowder and sweat from fingers busily hitting redial....

[Palerider4146]

Sgt Palerider reporting for duty sir (I always wanted to be a Sgt., pleassssseeeee) I'm your medic, bring me all the wounded! I've got a couple of George Carlin breaks to take care of those PSAs.

[Sevenyars]

It was Lee Harvey Stenchfinger that shot Jim phillips from the book suppository sir!

[lacis swimcoach]

"Whats your fifth general order?" --- "Sir my fifth general order is to never leave my redialing post until properly relieved, Sir" --- "Pile, we might just make a Wackbagger out of you yet." --- "Sir, yes Sir"

[freak8]

what happened to the scheme

avatars, sigs?

[righty]

i love it all Pvt. Righty is always ready for duty.
i know my duty is to report to the frontline on the 25 th of July.
Sir Yes Sir i will report at 1500 i will fight to my death

[whoisisthis]

what happened to the scheme

avatars, sigs?

Pat Battle mode

[VinnyBlackJack]

We left the camp after we had attacked Phillips Phile, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there and they had hacked off every one of their ears. There they were in a pile. A pile of lil' ears. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than Phillips. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men... trained pests. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those pests our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their pestoral instincts to pest without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.

[frankjg]

My message boards name is charlene sir!!!!

God Damn thats funny :clap:

[girthymac]

My messageboard and myself are defenders
of my dopie radio show. We are the masters of our
enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it.

Shouldn't there be some Godsmack playing in the background, with flashy moving pictures of jets flying over pat battleships?? On the other hand I feel like I should frame the creed......

[FishinForBabies]

Do you see that!?

Do you see that!?

(what?)

Wackbag son, Nothing else in the world kills hacks like that

I love the sight of Wackbag in the morning.

one time we had a radio show bombed for 4 weeks. and when it was all over, I walked up. we didnt find one of them, not one stinkin hack DJ body.

that smell, you know, that ruined hack radio career smell? the whole hill, smelled like.....victory.

they know this war will never end.

[wideback retard]

Holy shit...you ever see a show come apart like that?

[johnupc]

"Be seated.

Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about Wackbag not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Wackbaggers traditionally love to fight. All real Wackbaggers love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Wackbaggers love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Wackbaggers play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in h**l for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Wackbaggers have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Wackbaggers.

Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for Steppin' Out don’t know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to shoot the bastards, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the threads of our messgeboards. We’re going to murder those lousy Phile bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Philes are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let Philips do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose.

There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great Philips Phile War, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."

Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere.

That’s all"

(From Patton) (yeah I know, probably didn't need to tell anybody that)

[Ponderous]

Report from the frontlines:
(You can start playing sad harmonica music now with battle sounds)

Sirs,

It’s bad out here. Our intel on these bastards was bad, and about 10 minutes ago we started losing men like Sandy Kane at a dating service.

The army expected the standard resistances we’ve been trained for, screeners, delays, caller ID, and overcoming our own speech impediments and low IQs. But suddenly we realized that these fuckers were FIGHTING BACK!

The lucky ones went first…

GooderBoy was charging the hill when he hit a Chick Fil A commercial that was eight minutes. BensHog was trying to hold his unit together after a segment by Moria took down 43 men. Their screams will forever haunt my dreams….

StealthPain was taken out by a weather report. A story about French fries took out entire the 3rd Calavary. PSAs were everywhere…. it all happened so fast.

I would like to be able to say I was brave, sirs. But I must admit I began to weep when I heard the 4th Watson Realty commercial. I fell on the field, sirs. I thought for sure that it was over.

As the monotone dribble of their commander washed over us, I tried to comfort a young man from Indiana. All he could keep saying was “Load up the kids and head out to Water Mania!…..load up the kids and head out to Water Mania!……”. How are we going to explain to his family what these heartless bastards have done?

Somewhere, I swear I heard a baby crying…..

I don’t know his name, but he was wearing an Ozzy T-Shirt and looked like a pasty angel. He came out of nowhere, sirs, and lifted my on his shoulders. “We’re not leaving any men behind!” he screamed, and lifted me over the FocusOnLearning.org PSA that had felled me. Before I could even thank him he was back on the field…

As Stalker Patty was tending my wounds, the men let out a cheer. In the distance, we could see four pests triumphantly hoisting a pair of Pat Battle’s dirty underwear on a make shift flag pole. “Ecstasy of the Gold” began to blare out of Pat from Moonachie’s Cadillac…

We’re taking that hill, sirs. Tell my wife I love her….



Private Stenchfinger, 34 infantry division, O&A Army

Dude, that's hysterical.

[Palerider4146]

How can you kill bad radio hacks and annoying female co hosts...

Easy, you dont lead them so much!

[magnus420]

here i cleaned it up a bit for you

"Be seated.

Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about Wackbag not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Wackbaggers traditionally love to fight. All real Wackbaggers love the sting of Pat Battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Wackbaggers love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Wackbaggers play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in h**l for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Wackbaggers have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Wackbaggers.

Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for Steppin' Out don’t know anything more about real Pat Battle than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to shoot the bastards, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the threads of our messgeboards. We’re going to murder those lousy Phile bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Philes are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let Philips do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose.

There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great Philips Phile War, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."

Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into Pat Battle – anytime, anywhere.

That’s all"

(From Patton) (yeah I know, probably didn't need to tell anybody that)

[johnupc]

many thanks, kind pest ....

[Deano]

some facts still rolling in:
Phillips' message boards are still down
Our ceasefire on Friday at 1700 followed by the overload at 1720 was extremely successful. The Phone lines were taken over, and a massive email explosion could be heard all the way from the front lines to the homeland.
Phase 3 of the attack has commenced: we are now mailing him gifts. Some of the known items heading for his mailbox are:
40 subscriptions to Vibe
3 dildos
1 blow-up doll
and an immesurable ammount of foodstuffs

keep the attack going, and never leave a man behind.

Lt. Deano, Sun. 7/24, 15:49

[d0uche_n0zzle]

some facts still rolling in:
Phillips' message boards are still down
Our ceasefire on Friday at 1700 followed by the overload at 1720 was extremely successful. The Phone lines were taken over, and a massive email explosion could be heard all the way from the front lines to the homeland.
Phase 3 of the attack has commenced: we are now mailing him gifts. Some of the known items heading for his mailbox are:
40 subscriptions to Vibe
3 dildos
1 blow-up doll
and an immesurable ammount of foodstuffs

keep the attack going, and never leave a man behind.

Lt. Deano, Sun. 7/24, 15:49


He needs more dick pills and Boy Butter.

[Maddog62]

Do you see that!?

Do you see that!?

(what?)

Wackbag son, Nothing else in the world kills hacks like that

I love the sight of Wackbag in the morning.

one time we had a radio show bombed for 4 weeks. and when it was all over, I walked up. we didnt find one of them, not one stinkin hack DJ body.

that smell, you know, that ruined hack radio career smell? the whole hill, smelled like.....victory.

they know this war will never end.


Bravo

[MisterSinister]

"The way your dad looked at it, this radio bit was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this radio bit up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the radio bit. I hid this uncomfortable piece of material up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the radio bit to you."

The history of "Assault on the Media" bit. This is the reason we fight, we die.

[StealthPayne]

Report from the frontlines:
StealthPain was taken out by a weather report. A story about French fries took out entire the 3rd Calavary. PSAs were everywhere…. it all happened so fast.


My big moment, and he botches my name! (walks off muttering like Lil Jimmy)

Otherwise, very good story. :clap: :clap:

[BIV]

God has smiled upon you this day

The fate of a nation in your hands

And blessed be the children who fight with all our bravery

'Til only the righteous stand



You see the distant flames

They bellow in the night

You fight in all our names for what we know is right

And when you all get shot

And cannot carry on

Though you die, La Resistance lives on



You may get stabbed in the head

With a dagger or a sword

You may be burned to death

Or skinned alive, or worse

But when they torture you

You will not feel the need to run

For, though you die, La Resistance lives on


Tomorrow night

Our lives will change

Tomorrow night

We'll be entertained

An execution

What a sight!

Tomorrow night



They may cut your dick in half

And serve it to a pig

And though it hurts, you'll laugh

And dance a dickless jig

But that's the way it goes

And though we're shat upon

Though we die, La Resistance lives oooooonnnnn!

[askewcore]

These are great days we're livin bros. We're jolly green giants walking the Earth...with phones. Once we rotate back to the real world, we're gonna miss not havin anyone around worth annoying.

[Xyn]

These are great days we're livin bros. We're jolly green giants walking the Earth...with phones. Once we rotate back to the real world, we're gonna miss not havin anyone around worth annoying.

The virus is spreading, slowly but surely across America, and all over the world. Sooner or later, probably sooner, someone else will decide to fuck with the show. They will doubtless try to fight us, and they will doubtless fail.

And lest we forget, we may soon have brewing our largest war yet. A war of global, nay, cosmic proportions. Sattalite War 1, the great war.

Fight till the end against the enemy at hand, and once we have smote his ruins apon the soil of O-Town, rest, and enjoy the hard won peace, for we must conserve our strength.

A dark cloud is forming in the east. A "hoo hoo hoo" is carried on the wind. We will be ready.

[BuffaloPaul]

Report from the frontlines:
(You can start playing sad harmonica music now with battle sounds)

Sirs,

It’s bad out here. Our intel on these bastards was bad, and about 10 minutes ago we started losing men like Sandy Kane at a dating service.

The army expected the standard resistances we’ve been trained for, screeners, delays, caller ID, and overcoming our own speech impediments and low IQs. But suddenly we realized that these fuckers were FIGHTING BACK!

The lucky ones went first…

GooderBoy was charging the hill when he hit a Chick Fil A commercial that was eight minutes. BensHog was trying to hold his unit together after a segment by Moria took down 43 men. Their screams will forever haunt my dreams….

StealthPain was taken out by a weather report. A story about French fries took out entire the 3rd Calavary. PSAs were everywhere…. it all happened so fast.

I would like to be able to say I was brave, sirs. But I must admit I began to weep when I heard the 4th Watson Realty commercial. I fell on the field, sirs. I thought for sure that it was over.

As the monotone dribble of their commander washed over us, I tried to comfort a young man from Indiana. All he could keep saying was “Load up the kids and head out to Water Mania!…..load up the kids and head out to Water Mania!……”. How are we going to explain to his family what these heartless bastards have done?

Somewhere, I swear I heard a baby crying…..

I don’t know his name, but he was wearing an Ozzy T-Shirt and looked like a pasty angel. He came out of nowhere, sirs, and lifted my on his shoulders. “We’re not leaving any men behind!” he screamed, and lifted me over the FocusOnLearning.org PSA that had felled me. Before I could even thank him he was back on the field…

As Stalker Patty was tending my wounds, the men let out a cheer. In the distance, we could see four pests triumphantly hoisting a pair of Pat Battle’s dirty underwear on a make shift flag pole. “Ecstasy of the Gold” began to blare out of Pat from Moonachie’s Cadillac…

We’re taking that hill, sirs. Tell my wife I love her….



Private Stenchfinger, 34 infantry division, O&A Army

I read this on Saturday, and did not even know you made audio to it. I found the link to it on Foundry...

DOWNLOAD REPORT FROM THE FRONT LINES (http://www.foundrymusic.com/opieanthony/displaymedia.cfm/id/10273/div/opieanthony/media_search/latest/latest/all/page/download_REPORT_FROM_THE_FRONT_LINES.html#jump)


DESCRIPTION OF THIS DOWNLOAD:

This production piece is a narrative from the frontlines of a war being waged by the Opie and Anthony Army. The music and delivery really help to sell this piece, as well as the show references. Stenchfinger really did a great job with this one.


Great job Stenchfinger!!! http://64.21.69.47/images/smilies/appl.gifhttp://64.21.69.47/images/smilies/appl.gifhttp://64.21.69.47/images/smilies/appl.gif

[Guest007]

some facts still rolling in:
Phillips' message boards are still down
Our ceasefire on Friday at 1700 followed by the overload at 1720 was extremely successful. The Phone lines were taken over, and a massive email explosion could be heard all the way from the front lines to the homeland.
Phase 3 of the attack has commenced: we are now mailing him gifts. Some of the known items heading for his mailbox are:
40 subscriptions to Vibe
3 dildos
1 blow-up doll
and an immesurable ammount of foodstuffs

keep the attack going, and never leave a man behind.

Lt. Deano, Sun. 7/24, 15:49

Side note to your report. The message board has been down for over a year, your email campagin failed...filters worked, AND as for the phone lines, flop as well. Jim does not let anything go with no caller ID.

Like I stated many times before, not a jim fan but I do not know where you are getting your information from. The simple fact that the board has been down shows the lack of correct intelligence gathering. And if any of you out there know anything about the simple protocol of POP3, simple filter of key words will kill any email campaign.

Again, incorrect intelligence, if they were to listen to the show for 5 minutes, any part of the show, you will here him say that he will not take calls with no caller ID. He thinks he is king shit on turd island and needs TOTAL control.

With your pestering, you did peek some of interest in listening today! I love his meltdowns and this will be no differnet. Maybe I need to record the show for later use! :icon_wink (no reference to Jims use of lawsuits).

Added note: If you are going to mail things, remember, he does not get the mail, they are scanned and opened in the mail room before being sent to Jack. After he decides it is appropriate, then it gets past on.

Some added verbage that may help it get it past quickly.....Commador....TM Ranch, Jana Bannana...etc.

[bonked]

Side note to your report. The message board has been down for over a year, your email campagin failed...filters worked, AND as for the phone lines, flop as well. Jim does not let anything go with no caller ID.

More side notes for you GUEST007 - campaign isn't a campagin... just had to get that out.... ahhh better.

Have you not realized that many of us could give two shits less if he knows who is calling him (I was on his lines for over an hour Friday - didn't hide my number), my E-mails to his sponsors, GLAAD, the ADL, the FCC, along with over 30 phone calls to his sponsors made it through just fine - in fact the PD at the station returned one of my voice mails requesting clarification for an article I am writing for my friends at a certain large free speech, pro-fair use organization that I won't mention here.

I can only hope he enjoys the e-mail I sent that began with my home phone, address, web site, and e-mail addresses was an enjoyable read. You really don't understand the majority of us pests.

Also - "40 Subscriptions to Vibe" is the funniest thing I've read in weeks - I actually did a spit take.

[Chuckyarla]

Side note to your report. The message board has been down for over a year, your email campagin failed...filters worked, AND as for the phone lines, flop as well. Jim does not let anything go with no caller ID.

Like I stated many times before, not a jim fan but I do not know where you are getting your information from. The simple fact that the board has been down shows the lack of correct intelligence gathering. And if any of you out there know anything about the simple protocol of POP3, simple filter of key words will kill any email campaign.

Again, incorrect intelligence, if they were to listen to the show for 5 minutes, any part of the show, you will here him say that he will not take calls with no caller ID. He thinks he is king shit on turd island and needs TOTAL control.

With your pestering, you did peek some of interest in listening today! I love his meltdowns and this will be no differnet. Maybe I need to record the show for later use! :icon_wink (no reference to Jims use of lawsuits).

Added note: If you are going to mail things, remember, he does not get the mail, they are scanned and opened in the mail room before being sent to Jack. After he decides it is appropriate, then it gets past on.

Some added verbage that may help it get it past quickly.....Commador....TM Ranch, Jana Bannana...etc.

so he lied again about getting caller ID?

Does he ever tell the truth?

[D_RAIL]

the marines have hoorah, and we sirs have......

[D_RAIL]

O and A Party RockO and A Party Rock

[log_on_wheat]

That AUDIO version was fucking AWESOME! Excellent WORK!

PESTS - KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!!!!!

[Bloodycoathangr]

I want to be the first kid on my block with a confirmed Pat Battle attack call.

[jon e bravo]

Private Bravo reporting for duty.
I go in tomorrow. It may get ugly in there, but as long as I get thru the screener, I will make my mark.
How many virgins are wating for me?
Out.

[Fr. Dougal]

Opie: Now you will receive us.
Anthony: We do not ask for your unfunny words or your incessant crying.
Jim: We do not want your endless ads and your crippled staff.
Opie: It is your bullshit we claim.
Anthony: It is your scumbagginess that will be sought by us.
Jim: With every breath, we shall hunt you down.
Opie: Each day we will spill your blood til it rains down from the skies.
Anthony: Do not stop calling, do not stop emailing his sponsors, do not let up the attack for one minute... these are principles which every Wackbagger can embrace.
Jim: These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will have to listen to his unfunny shit.
Opie: There are varying degrees of shitty radio; we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into the Phile's suckiness, into his domain.
Anthony: But if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three and on that day you will reap it.
Jim: And we will send you to whichever god you wish.

All: And shepherds we shall be, for thee E-Lo, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our mics may swiftly carry out thy command. We shall flow a river of comedy forth to thee, and teeming with laughs shall it ever be. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Pat Battle, Amen.

[Pud2004]

khemystri
This is my messageboard.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My messageboard is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it, as I must master my life.
Without me my messageboard is useless. Without
my messageboard, I am useless. I must fire my
quotes true. I must shoot more sarcastically than
my enemy who is trying to clown me. I must tool on
him before he tools on me. I will. Before God I swear
this creed. My messageboard and myself are defenders
of my dopie radio show. We are the masters of our
enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it.

until there is no enemy...






Can the powers that be at wackbag.com make a shirt out of this??

Bravo Khemystri

[Jims Rottweiler]

Stench, I thought your letter was funny when I first read it, but when I heard it on the show today, I laughed my ass off. Great work. BRAVO!! :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[Tickle The Bag]

This is my messageboard.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My messageboard is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it, as I must master my life.
Without me my messageboard is useless. Without
my messageboard, I am useless. I must fire my
quotes true. I must shoot more sarcastically than
my enemy who is trying to clown me. I must tool on
him before he tools on me. I will. Before God I swear
this creed. My messageboard and myself are defenders
of my dopie radio show. We are the masters of our
enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it.

until there is no enemy...

but peace. Amen. :action-sm

A top notch reply as always, good stuff Khem.

[click]

Good job stench. I said right away you should post it alone somewhere.
Glad the boys played that and gave you credit. I've been offline all day
but heard it on OnA. You do the one that was sent in?

[Ponderous]

Stenchfinger: I have to say the report from the front lines is one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time.

Reading the report on wackbag was great, but when I heard the audio on the show today, I almost crashed. Funny stuff.

Great job Stenchfinger. Bravo.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[Puddle O AIDs]

"The way your dad looked at it, this radio bit was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this radio bit up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the radio bit. I hid this uncomfortable piece of material up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the radio bit to you."

The history of "Assault on the Media" bit. This is the reason we fight, we die.

I love the smell of a pulp fiction reference the morning.

[justafewskills]

I still have a Q. can I send a virus to that fagot phillip pile of shit? and would i get in trouble.... my Brother is a cpu geek and has some really nasty viruses... and know how to send them and not get caught.. please some one e-mail me to let me know?

[Reish]

Opie: Now you will receive us.
Anthony: We do not ask for your unfunny words or your incessant crying.
Jim: We do not want your endless ads and your crippled staff.
Opie: It is your bullshit we claim.
Anthony: It is your scumbagginess that will be sought by us.
Jim: With every breath, we shall hunt you down.
Opie: Each day we will spill your blood til it rains down from the skies.
Anthony: Do not stop calling, do not stop emailing his sponsors, do not let up the attack for one minute... these are principles which every Wackbagger can embrace.
Jim: These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will have to listen to his unfunny shit.
Opie: There are varying degrees of shitty radio; we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into the Phile's suckiness, into his domain.
Anthony: But if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three and on that day you will reap it.
Jim: And we will send you to whichever god you wish.

All: And shepherds we shall be, for thee E-Lo, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our mics may swiftly carry out thy command. We shall flow a river of comedy forth to thee, and teeming with laughs shall it ever be. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Pat Battle, Amen.

This is beautiful. What's it from?

[Tickle The Bag]

This is beautiful. What's it from?

BOONDOCK SAINTS,,,,,,,,, and shame on you for not knowing, that is probally one of the best movies I have ever seen.

[lacis swimcoach]

Opie: Now you will receive us.
Anthony: We do not ask for your unfunny words or your incessant crying.
Jim: We do not want your endless ads and your crippled staff.
Opie: It is your bullshit we claim.
Anthony: It is your scumbagginess that will be sought by us.
Jim: With every breath, we shall hunt you down.
Opie: Each day we will spill your blood til it rains down from the skies.
Anthony: Do not stop calling, do not stop emailing his sponsors, do not let up the attack for one minute... these are principles which every Wackbagger can embrace.
Jim: These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will have to listen to his unfunny shit.
Opie: There are varying degrees of shitty radio; we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into the Phile's suckiness, into his domain.
Anthony: But if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three and on that day you will reap it.
Jim: And we will send you to whichever god you wish.

All: And shepherds we shall be, for thee E-Lo, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our mics may swiftly carry out thy command. We shall flow a river of comedy forth to thee, and teeming with laughs shall it ever be. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Pat Battle, Amen.
Holy shit Fr. Dougal, You are my movie quote-bastardizing hero. THat was so beautiful that I had to wake up my 15 year old niece and show her the quote. Then we popped in Boondock Saints and had a good ol' time. You fucking rule, Sir. I am forever a poser in your shadows.

[societyofmyera]

Opie: Now you will receive us.
Anthony: We do not ask for your unfunny words or your incessant crying.
Jim: We do not want your endless ads and your crippled staff.
Opie: It is your bullshit we claim.
Anthony: It is your scumbagginess that will be sought by us.
Jim: With every breath, we shall hunt you down.
Opie: Each day we will spill your blood til it rains down from the skies.
Anthony: Do not stop calling, do not stop emailing his sponsors, do not let up the attack for one minute... these are principles which every Wackbagger can embrace.
Jim: These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will have to listen to his unfunny shit.
Opie: There are varying degrees of shitty radio; we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into the Phile's suckiness, into his domain.
Anthony: But if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three and on that day you will reap it.
Jim: And we will send you to whichever god you wish.

All: And shepherds we shall be, for thee E-Lo, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our mics may swiftly carry out thy command. We shall flow a river of comedy forth to thee, and teeming with laughs shall it ever be. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Pat Battle, Amen.

http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/8880/onasaints9xb.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Frankie_Ballz]

Report from the frontlines:
I would like to be able to say I was brave, sirs. But I must admit I began to weep when I heard the 4th Watson Realty commercial. I fell on the field, sirs. I thought for sure that it was over.

As the monotone dribble of their commander washed over us, I tried to comfort a young man from Indiana. All he could keep saying was “Load up the kids and head out to Water Mania!…..load up the kids and head out to Water Mania!……”. How are we going to explain to his family what these heartless bastards have done?

Somewhere, I swear I heard a baby crying…..

I don’t know his name, but he was wearing an Ozzy T-Shirt and looked like a pasty angel. He came out of nowhere, sirs, and lifted my on his shoulders. “We’re not leaving any men behind!” he screamed, and lifted me over the FocusOnLearning.org PSA that had felled me. Before I could even thank him he was back on the field…


I'm absolutely crying

[Legato]

I salute you Brave Pests. Though you may return from the field of battle bloody, missing limbs, missing friends lost in battle, know that you return home in honor. I salute you, all of you brave pests, and true fans.

[FishinForBabies]

Dear mom and dad.

I am writing you from the infirmary behind the front lines. Tuesday was my first trip to the front lines and I was nearly killed. the enemy struck first with massive bombardments of awful jazz and blues music. then came the next wave of PSA's. I nearly didnt make it through. after surviving another watermania commercial I attempted to launch my first attack.

I picked up my phone and dialed the enemy's number. I made it easily through their first line of defense and made it on the air. but I froze. I got a comment about an awful movie on the air but I was badly hit with a disconnect before i could toss in anything good. I failed and I took down several of my brothers with me. while I was lying there in a puddle of blood, my whole wackbag military career flashed before my eyes. god, it was awful. a bunch of meaningless posts and some awful pictures. I nearly gave up and died right there.

but out of the smoke and carnage, I heard "Shitdick" start to play. I knew my brothers were winning the battle but there was more to be done. So I dragged my shattered body out of the crater i was cowering in, grabbed my phone, and dialed again. after a short battle, I made it through the enemy defense again. posing as Tom from Illinois, I lobbed a FUCK YOU, CUNT!!! right into the enemy stronghold. I laughed as the smoke and flames billowed and consumed the enemy, leaving nothing but charred corpses. then, I passed out.

I now find myself in this hospital, broken and torn. I dont know If my actions will overcome my cowardice. I dont know if I deserve to be a member of the O&A army. only time will tell. hopefully, I will prove myself in the next battle, and maybe win the Periwinkle Liver award.

Love you always
your son;
FishinForBabies

[Fr. Dougal]

Holy shit Fr. Dougal, You are my movie quote-bastardizing hero. THat was so beautiful that I had to wake up my 15 year old niece and show her the quote. Then we popped in Boondock Saints and had a good ol' time. You fucking rule, Sir. I am forever a poser in your shadows.

Hehe... Thanks. First time I saw that movie, I was so drunk I couldn't see the screen. I think I'm gonna try watching it drunk again this weekend. lol

I read your reply fast, and I thought you said you woke up your 15 year old niece and had a good time with her... huddla huddla...

[Stenchfinger]

Yeah for anyone asking (Click4More...etc.) that was me doing the audio that they played. I am really glad that fellow Wackbaggers liked it. I did one more audio about Jim calling his friend, but it didn't make the air since the bbboys are moving away from Phillips and casting him back into obscurity. Thanks for all the good feedback. I just had a lot of pent up energy and aggression on the days we couldn't get through on the phones, so I HAD to do something!...Like Opie said "I spent at least 5 minutes on it"

Stench

[dcaffey18]

Just a lil' update on "Watermania" mentioned in the message from the front lines.

After nearly 20 years of serving millions of guests, a Central Florida attraction is closing its doors.

Water Mania opened in 1986 on U.S. Highway 192 near Disney World, WESH 2 News reported.

At the time it boasted the largest wave pool anywhere in the region.

Its popularity peaked in the mid-90s, when 500,000 people a year passed through the turnstiles.

But competition from Disney, Universal, SeaWorld and other attractions has fatally wounded the Kissimmee business.

The owners of the park and a neighboring property containing the Country Hearth Hotel and the Racin' Station Go Kart track are closing and selling all 45 acres.

Water Mania will close at the end of business on Labor Day, but one of its competitors, Wet 'n Wild, will host a job fair that day for the roughly 75 employees losing their jobs.

Wet 'n Wild will also honor Water Mania customers still holding day tickets or seasonal passes