Anal Greeting Cards

[PorchMonkey4Life]

Here you go people... lets see what you gys and gals have...

[StankOnHangDown]

You wouldn't let me in your heart, your mind, or your soul...

But you let me in your ass and that is my favorite hole.

[StankOnHangDown]

I didn't want to sleep with you because of your wit.
I fucked your ass and blew my load now my dick smells like shit.

[StankOnHangDown]

Roses are Red violet are blue...

Thanks for letting me fuck your ass



-=Love Dad

[Chester'sLiver]

I didn't think we would last
But the you gave up the ass
It was just like we were in porn
whats thats on the tip on dick, oh its corn.

[Chester'sLiver]

Thanks for giving up the balloonknot.

Love
Your grandson
Frank

[StankOnHangDown]

I met you in a deli
and not too much time passed
before I layed limp on the floor
while you fucked my ass

-=Love wheelchair Fred

[Chester'sLiver]

I would have gave up the ass but I was too vain
not to long until your french kissing a train
now you are gone just like our son
I think I should make out with a gun

Love
Lady Di

[PEST BY TRADE]

roses are red
violets are bigger
I pulled my dick out
It looked like a Ni**ers
Thanks for the fudge dickel bitch

[BCH]

To my dearest love,

I wish that you would just behave
and let me put it in your rear.
No one will find the shallow grave
and your screams they will not hear.

[dredpiratrobert]

After last night, your ass is gaping.
You didn't know that I was taping.
Your mom and dad got the DVD.
Their lil big-eyed baby's got HIV.

[Dalee Doolee]

Here is my card complete with pictures....

http://www.geocities.com/prttymf8/bunnycard.GIF

[aoy1995]

Things are tough,
Times are hard,
Here's your damned old,
Sorry I tore your asshole wide open card.

[supertool]

After last night, your ass is gaping.
You didn't know that I was taping.
Your mom and dad got the DVD.
Their lil big-eyed baby's got HIV.

You sir, are a true poet. Bravo.

For the sophisticated gal who likes old school romance:

To the very hilt
Thou accrpted thine rapier
Whence I spilt
Deep inside das dupier

Happy Anal Anniversary, Darling.

[dredpiratrobert]

You sir, are a true poet. Bravo.

Thank you Thank you

[bkbigfish]

I remember your face filled with fright,
The day we met--that loney autumn night.
You told me you were a loving mother and wife,
I said to just shut up, I have a knife.
And like I told you, there's nothing to fear,
Thanks for letting a black guy take you in the rear.

Longing for you,
Carlton Jones
------

Thanks for lettting me fuck you in the shitter,
Now promise not to tell your mom or baby sitter.

Love,
Uncle Gary

[Seth]

You're a good egg
and a real trooper
thanks for letting me do your pooper.

[Hoagie]

My love has grown, my heart is swollen
Because you let me rub my cock head against your colon

[dredpiratrobert]

My love has grown, my heart is swollen
Because you let me rub my cock head against your colon

Nice

[DoughBoy]

It has been a difficult time now that your mother is gone,
but keep her in your heart as we try to move on.
The memories we have of her will help it not be so bad,
or you can just let me fuck you in the ass...

Love,

Your Dad.

[Hoagie]

It has been a difficult time now that your mother is gone,
but keep her in your heart as we try to move on.
The memories we have of her will help it not be so bad,
or you can just let me fuck you in the ass...

Love,

Your Dad.Did you just try to rhyme "bad" and "ass"? *insert Price is Right loser soundclip here*

Edit: Oh I see, you were rhyming "bad" with Dad". Then it's not so bad.

[LetsDoThisLucas]

my dear,
seems like yesterday i shot in your eyes
my oh my, how the time flies
tonight im shooting in ur ass
and i am having a blast :action-sm

::crash::

[LetsDoThisLucas]

i long for your screeching cries
as i give you my famous cream-pies

love, your grandson

[clickityclack]

when you asked me to fuck your ass
first came joy and i got hard as a rock
then confusion, my dear lass,
as I reached around and felt a cock

lil jimmy

[khemystri]

Your magical like card tricks - and more exciting than the superbowl
thats why I put my hard dick - deep into your pooperhole :)

[lawjockey]

An original:

The song of the lark,
It's sweet reprise,
is a treat to the ear,
as I look in your eyes,

In you eyes, I gaze,
and your hair I stroke,
as we gently make love,
I grab your throat

I then pull it out,
It's still glistening and wet,
you know what's coming,
This you won't let,

But I do insist,
You won't let it pass
but my mind's made up,
It's going in your ass

[khemystri]

wow, that makes 'technical difficulties' seem like a grammy contender... ;)

Im up for a grammy.... :action-sm

[OandAPest]

It's our wedding anniversary after 50 years
Happiness wasn't always there and many tears
All of our girls have grown and gone away years ago
Each one of them gave up the balloon knot and I taught them how to blow
So what the fuck is your problem, you stupid Ho!

It's been 50 fucking years! Give it up you BITCH!

With love and caring, your adoring husband

[GLENN_THE_TOOL]

Sorry I pulled it out in such a hurry,
But look at that! My cock's wearing a derby!

[GLENN_THE_TOOL]

Giving up your ass couldn't be hotter,
But now I'm covered in mochalatta!

[JonBenetRamsey]

love me tender, love me sweet
wrap your ass around my meat.

[TreeFortRichard]

Ye Olde Pirate Song

Red tide rolls in. No fishing again.
I swab my deck for now.
My cannon salute, as you let me shoot
A round into your bow.

Arrrr...thanks for anal!

[GLENN_THE_TOOL]

Hickory dickory dock,
Your ass just swallowed my cock! OH!

Amingedagogedageeshedapersonale!

[invisible76]

If it smells bad,
I swear i won't gripe.
If you'll just let me,
fuck your shitpipe.

[Corky's Revenge]

Thanks for letting me put it in the back door,
Now we can go to the container store, you fucking whore

[Mongrel Class]

For Marey Carey, harcore was just a phase
Now she is dropping the pounds, thanks to the aids.

[niklbag]

you have beautiful eyes ,and your an amazing drinker,
thanks for letting me plow your stinker! lol

love,
norm from cheers

ps: love ya Sam :icon_mrgr

[niklbag]

An original:

The song of the lark,
It's sweet reprise,
is a treat to the ear,
as I look in your eyes,

In you eyes, I gaze,
and your hair I stroke,
as we gently make love,
I grab your throat

I then pull it out,
It's still glistening and wet,
you know what's coming,
This you won't let,

But I do insist,
You won't let it pass
but my mind's made up,
It's going in your ass





holy S!!!! that is effing funny.....wait this is xm "fucking"

[badcellphoneguy]

Your baloon knot is there...
But do I dare...
Oh yes I shall stick my cock in there...
And I will shoot a load cause i dont care...

ehhhh
later

[TexasPest]

COVER:
To the woman I love...

INSIDE:
... only because you can take a load in the ass. Happy Birthday!

[Hoagie]

You make feel complete, my heart you have stole
because I just dumped in you cornhole

but because of my love and the good times we spent
I can't help thinking I should have waited for consent

now the cops you will call and a **** kit you'll see
but the best suprise is yet to come..."Suprise, I just gave you HIV"

So much for that whole "Let's just be friends" shit, bitch.

[PHILLYCHEESE]

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-9/1081974/card.JPG

[PEST BY TRADE]

congratulations on the grand opening of your ass

[calmo el hacko]

to lil jimmy:

when it's 9 am and
your tummy begins to gurgle
hit that break segment
your turds i will burgle

love,
opie

[Hudson]

Honey,
I Love you for your smile,
For your thoughts,
And for your eyes,

Your humour warms my heart,
As do your thunderous thighs,

That's why I am sorry,
About what I did last night,
But your Asshole,
Is the last thing left that's tight!

[StankOnHangDown]

Hai-Ku

Fuckin your brown-eye
Makes my whole body quiver
It's sad you are dead


Leather Cheerio
it's where I want to put it
Happy Birthday Son!

[zagman76]

http://gbehh.com/cards/images/thumbs/anal_card_sm.jpg (http://gbehh.com/cgi-bin/pd/pd.cgi?image=/cards/images/anal_card.jpg&form=form-gbehh.html)

[StankOnHangDown]

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b248/jamesnorris/2464111_hres.jpg

[thecatdad]

I was sorry last night
When I made you shudder,
But I just had to fuck
Your smelly turd-cutter.

[StankOnHangDown]

You might cringe
and think im silly
but i want to snake you
and make trouser chili

[A giiiiiiiiiirl]

i'm trembling with fear
i cannot shake it.
atleast now i know
where not to take it. :icon_redf

thank you.

[Chester'sLiver]

i'm trembling with fear
i cannot shake it.
atleast now i know
where not to take it. :icon_redf

thank you.

You are trembling with fear
But I am still gonna put in your rear
But at least now you know
Don't fuck with me Ho. :icon_wink

[GLENN_THE_TOOL]

i'm so turned on
my penis has risen
bitch, shut up so i can take you
like a cellmate in prison

[A giiiiiiiiiirl]

You are trembling with fear
But I am still gonna put in your rear
But at least now you know
Don't fuck with me Ho. :icon_wink

you're so romantic. :rolleyes:

[timmykidd2104]

it's our special day,
so in a special way,
bend over and linger,
my dick's in your sphincter.

[lawjockey]

holy S!!!! that is effing funny.....wait this is xm "fucking"

Thanks! here's another,

Surprised no one's gone this route yet:

Jay:
The fire is roaring,
We've opened the wine,
let's watch some TV,
It's survivor time!

we'll eat some hors d'oeuvres
and jammies we'll wear
and sit on the couch
all cuddled, a scene not rare

I'll pick up a log,
inscribed on it, 'java'
into the hearth I'll place it,
the flames, as hot as lava

Smoke fills the room
thus ruining my chance
now and forever,
to get into your pants

The firemen come,
and they instantly know,
I don't need to say,
The scene does show

Your funky treasure,
will not be mine,
your leather chereio,
untouched, this time.

- Opie

Sorry, I've been drinking at work a bit (It's ok, my boss did a few with me)

[GLENN_THE_TOOL]

i wanted to kill him
or at least corrrrect him
after he tried the Whoopsy Daisy
on my rectum

[gravygun8]

To a special girl on her 5th birthday...
your chromosomes are incomplete
you stare blankly at my meat
I think you are always at the top
Thanks for letting me give the balloon knot a pop
to school the short bus you shal ride
if you say anything, I'll say "the retard lied"

love, grandpa

[TheJew]

i wanted to kill him
or at least corrrrect him
after he tried the Whoopsy Daisy
on my rectum
wouldn't that be a boot to the rectum?

[GLENN_THE_TOOL]

wouldn't that be a boot to the rectum?

well you could say that the "other" Whoopsy Daisy causes the Fish-Eye.

[TheJew]

you wear your cowboy hat around the house,
while i chase you around like a cat and mouse.
you run around and trip and fall on the kitchen floor,
and i mount you from behind and make your butt my vietnam tour.

[SatansCheerledr]

Thank you my darling,
I mean it a bunch.
For letting me ass fuck you so deep,
I could feel your lunch.

[Warfarer]

I love you so much
I am sorry I cheated
I didn't mean to hump her
Now turn around and stick out your dumper

I suck at poetry.

[gravygun8]

you wear your cowboy hat around the house,
while i chase you around like a cat and mouse.
you run around and trip and fall on the kitchen floor,
and i mount you from behind and make your butt my vietnam tour.
outstanding, you degenerate...oh wait thats me

[Cunt Smasher]

You spread your cheeks and lube your crack, I put it in up to the sack. I fuck you hard, and shoot my load upon your back. :clap:

[TheJew]

outstanding, you degenerate...oh wait thats me
hey don't make fun of my poetry skills i'm a fucking jewish shakespeare!

[thecatdad]

To a special girl on her 5th birthday...
your chromosomes are incomplete
you stare blankly at my meat
I think you are always at the top
Thanks for letting me give the balloon knot a pop
to school the short bus you shal ride
if you say anything, I'll say "the retard lied"

love, grandpa

Thanks for the erection.

[DCBrian]

Your pussy's blown out
But you're no quitter,
Thanks for letting me
fuck your shitter

[IamAWOWgurl]

thanks for letting me have
your hind portion
now we can avoid
another abortion.

[Vanillathunder]

To my love who's oh-so-flighty,
whose rectum was so clean and tighty,
thank your for your ass last nighty,
now wash that blood off of your barney nighty.

-Love your babysitter.

[Vanillathunder]

The reasons I love you are too long for listing,
I'm glad you enjoyed last night's fisting.

-Ramon

[Vanillathunder]

I sang for years with my band,
toured the world and saw the land.
Last night my anus enveloped your hand,
but now you have aids, faggot.

-Freddie Mercury

[Vanillathunder]

If love was coffee, yours would be sweet
If love was a boxer, yours couldn't be beat.
But our love is anal and it's the best,
now drop some nuggets on my chest.

-Lil Jimmy

[Vanillathunder]

I met you last year at bible camp,
my dick was hard and my boxers damp.

I took your hand and made you smile,
we talked for hours and walked a mile.

You put my cock in your mouth,
You took your fingers and worked them south.

I shot one in your mouth so quick,
it was a shock and made you sick.

You took it in the rear that day,
but swore to me that you weren't gay.

You were crying and you were mad,
you even threatened to tell your dad.

You tried to run, you tried to hide,
your face in a pillow while you cried.

I found you in your tent that night,
and boy, your rear was really tight..

Now it's the morning and you're wondering,
Who can I tell about this night?

That's ok, you'll find the answer,
but not before I get my transfer.

-Love your Priest.

P.S. I fucked your brother too.

[Vanillathunder]

You collapsed one day in our home,
and now you're in a stupor,
Your Mom won't let me pull the tube,
So I'll fuck you in the pooper.

-Michael Schiavo

[MAVRIC305]

I had the lead going into the last,
We had to try to win the game fast,
They put in the closer his name is looper,
Who knew we would take it in the pooper

[Tickle The Bag]

Hickory dickory dock,
Your ass just swallowed my cock! OH!

Amingedagogedageeshedapersonale!



HAHAHAHA! Fuck off dice.

[niklbag]

You collapsed one day in our home,
and now you're in a stupor,
Your Mom won't let me pull the tube,
So I'll fuck you in the pooper.

-Michael Schiavo

hahhahhahahahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahahahaha thats right terry he said pooper what are ya gonna do? groan? lol

[niklbag]

you looked pretty drunk
and it seemed like a tragedy
until you bent over
and let me cum in your cavity

ps: I stole your piggy bank

[Cunt Smasher]

I fucked your cunt, it was too loose. Trust me, bitch, that I'm no runt. I'm really glad that your a slut, and let me poke that warm tight butt. I dropped my spooge, it's in your ass, so you blow bubbles when you have gas.

[gravygun8]

Thanks for the erection.
You are a sick, disgusting, perverse, immoral animal...so uh, you single? Would you like to get together and chck out the new Hybrid cars...

[NORTONSPETSNAKE]

I Crashed My Car, I Couldnt Steer
I Was Thinking Of Putting It In Your Rear

Ass To Mouth, I Thought Youd Hurl
But Your Strong, Daddys Little Gurl

[mrfridays]

"I'll never forget how your eyes twinkled,
when I first stuck my cock in your stink wrinkle"

[peteyballzzz]

"there you were, bent over and ready
your friend held the camera, nervous but steady
my cock in your ass, i thought this was breeding
as your internal organs commenced with the bleeding
you died soon after, no longer willing and able
no more licking my horse balls, no more sex in the stable
your anus is dead, like a deer in a headlight
check out the video, on rogan's website"

-shitdick horse

[TheJew]

"there you were, bent over and ready
your friend held the camera, nervous but steady
my cock in your ass, i thought this was breeding
as your internal organs commenced with the bleeding
you died soon after, no longer willing and able
no more licking my horse balls, no more sex in the stable
your anus is dead, like a deer in a headlight
check out the video, on rogan's website"

-shitdick horse
:clap: :clap: :clap:

[EdC]

Thank you dear for a fantastic night
DAMN I used to think your PUSSY was tight

-------------------------------------------------

Finally true love has started to bud
I thought you'd never let me play in the mud

[EdC]

I guess I should thank you for being a sport
But I just can't get over that anal wart

[Slow Bollards]

I loved you true, with all my heart
And I licked it first - it tasted tart
How we wished we needn't part
But you can think of me when it hurts to fart

[Slow Bollards]

I broke up my lil poem by accident, so I had to edit, ignore this...