when was the last time you had an "accident"

[JonBenetRamsey]

for me, this morning. i thought i had to shit but wasn't sure. by the time i realized i had to, i proceed to walk briskly up the stairs then dumped myself in the process. yes i am 23 years old and shat myself.

[tattered]

why would you admit this?

[Arch Stanton]

well, not my pants but had to pull over and shit on the curb like a dog two summers ago. Well...you asked.

[JonBenetRamsey]

why would you admit this?
well i have no shame and i thought it was silly

[Smokezilla]

We're all glad that you feel that closely to us that you could share that intimate and most revealing fact about yourself, JBR. . . :icon_roll

Anybody got a Javalog and a box of wine. . . ???:icon_conf

[Turtle]

I had to shit so bad once, that I pulled off the road and sat on a guardrail and took a dump at about 10:30 PM. Cars driving by, shit hitting the ground. But I didn't shit my pants.

[Arch Stanton]

I had to shit so bad once, that I pulled off the road and sat on a guardrail and took a dump at about 10:30 PM. Cars driving by, shit hitting the ground. But I didn't shit my pants.
Funniest post all day.

[Turtle]

My work here is done

[LiddyRules]

Sometimes I wear an extra pair of underpants and piss myself on purpose because I enjoy sitting in the wet goodness for a few hours.

[FreeTheCricket]

23, walking home from a keg party, sudden bout of the shits hits me, I drop trou right in somebody's yard and blow diarrhea all over their front lawn. Brutal. Smelly. Gross. Had to wipe with my boxers, which I left on their lawn right next to the shit pile.

[THE FEZ MAN]

i thought i shit my self this morning at work but i pinched it off in time, did the wet walk to the bathroom and blasted a total liquid squrt, but i didnt shit my pants.

[Mybigcans]

23, walking home from a keg party, sudden bout of the shits hits me, I drop trou right in somebody's yard and blow diarrhea all over their front lawn. Brutal. Smelly. Gross. Had to wipe with my boxers, which I left on their lawn right next to the shit pile.
NOTE TO SELF.... DO NOT INVITE FTC TO FUTURE KEGGERS.... :action-sm

[click]

I crapped myself while hiking in PA. Usually I can tell if there's a problem and keep my butt closed but this came without warning. I was with a girl I had been seeing for awhile so it wasn't too embarassing. I'm trying to clean my ass with my underwear and those nasty black flies just start swarming around my ass immediately. Those PA flies are fucking awful on a good day. Luckily I only had 2 miles till I was out of the woods.

[PorchMonkey4Life]

never crapped myself... but you ever realize that when you have to shit really bad on your drive home it gets really bad the last 2 blocks?

[GLENN_THE_TOOL]

never crapped myself... but you ever realize that when you have to shit really bad on your drive home it gets really bad the last 2 blocks?

try driving a good 1800+ miles and having to shit the whole way. i was 16 and my family was on vacation in Florida. i had a big steak dinner the night before we had to leave, so when i got up that morning, i really needed to go. unfortunately, my father has a habit of clogging toilets when we're on vacation (the last time we were in Florida, i was 8 and we had to leave the same hotel in a hurry also because of a clogged toilet), so i didn't get my chance to drop some logs and we were in such a rush to get home we really had no time to stop. i'm one of those people who doesn't like to shit in public toilets, so i ended up holding it in the whole fucking way. mind you, by the time we reached Richmond, Virginia, you couldn't tell if the awful smell was coming from the oil refineries or my farts. we did stop at one point in Maryland i believe, but some old fart was on the toilet and i missed my chance. so we finally got home, and i had to have been on the can for at least an hour. never in my life did it actually hurt to take a shit until then. i had held it in for so long, it didn't want to come out. i was actually straining my abdominal muscles trying to force it out. as the old saying goes, "i felt ten pounds lighter afterwards, wukka wukka!"

[Lambo]

oddly enough its never happened to me.

[ShooterMcGavin]

A few days ago I took a piss and forgot to shake it, so i stuck it back in my pants and a nice amount dribbled out and left a big stain.

[Sinn Fein]

It's been years and it involved intoxication.

[ShooterMcGavin]

It's been years and it involved intoxication.

OK that doesn't count. I think everyone here can say they've once pissed themselves due to alcohol.

No?

Alright then...

*hides*

[Beeman99]

It's common for me to shit out in the bush when I'm working the bees in the busy season, I'd say I do it at least 15 times a year. I've pulled over and shit on the side of the road when travelling, and I've had the Opie chicklet fart before.

[Glenn Dandy]

shit my pants all the time......Ive got a roid wich gives the equivilent of a bad seal.

[Mystic Pain]

At first I thought this was going to be about cars running in to each other. Now I know whats really up. But incase any one really cares. It would be no on both counts. I know how to drive and know when I need to shit. Any one that can't figure either of these out need help.

[Rob]

this thread made me loff and loff...

[Sinn Fein]

OK that doesn't count. I think everyone here can say they've once pissed themselves due to alcohol.

No?

Alright then...

*hides*

What gave you the idea that I was referring to piss?

[Outer Limits]

What about blasting a fart except that you suddenly suspect you may have also just squirted a shot of mud into your pants? :icon_eek:
Doing this while driving makes the situation even worse.

[Glenn Dandy]

At first I thought this was going to be about cars running in to each other. Now I know whats really up. But incase any one really cares. It would be no on both counts. I know how to drive and know when I need to shit. Any one that can't figure either of these out need help.
You must be way to healthy guy.


Drink 20 beers and eat a greasy chees steak and well talk mudlides,k There no full control over milkshakes with a full bowell of gas pressure. coupled with grease and alcohol.

Solid shit is just a vague memory from my youth.:rolleyes:

[Motor Head]

never crapped myself... but you ever realize that when you have to shit really bad on your drive home it gets really bad the last 2 blocks?

Ah yes, the anticipation of dropping a duece turning to terror as you realize that your about to grow a tail. Luckily, I always manage to make it....running inside the house, ripping my coat off, and making it just before i soil myself. Nothing worse the realizing that if you had hit one more traffic light, or if your street was blocked off for even 30 more seconds you would be sitting in a mudpie.

[JoeyDVDZ]

I've blown farts that ended badly. I've blown farts that I thought had moisture in them too, but to my relief didn't.

[25133WhooOoAH]

i had to shit so bad once , my ex was in the bathroom putting on make up and being gay and i couldnt hold it anymore she wouldnt let me in so i ran to my garage and shat in a old coffee can i think, very awful but where else was i gonna go, i only had one bathroom!

[JonBenetRamsey]

OK that doesn't count. I think everyone here can say they've once pissed themselves due to alcohol.

No?

Alright then...

*hides*
i had to stop drinking whiskey because some nights i would drink a bit too much and wake up with wet sheets.

[frankjg]

Someone has to say it....




This thread is WORTHLESS without pictures!

[Glenn Dandy]

http://www.tiggysribticklers.com/images/underwear.gif

[Balancedchaos]

How often do you think Jimmy lets loose in his pants and jacks?

[Beeman99]

My gf's husband had to shit one day when my gf was in the shower, he couldn't hold it so he decided to shit in the garbage can beside his computer. I know I've shit in the shower before when I've had the rye shits, it's all liquid anyways and I hate tracking water over the floor, so just let 'er rip and it all washes down the drain

[patbattlefield]

This was about 6 months ago: I was driving home one evening and I started feeling sick. I felt like I had a fart brewing, but didn't think much about it. I felt a little tickle in my nose and sneezed and farted simotaneously, only it wasn't just a fart - i shit my pants. I was an hour from home so I had to pull into a rest area and walk into the bathroom with an obvious shitstain on my ass. oh, yeah and it was that lovely runny shit that starts to roll down your pantleg when you stand up. Fun times...

[WMB]

well i have no shame and i thought it was silly

I nearly pissed myself reading this. Does that count?

[Arch Stanton]

What about blasting a fart except that you suddenly suspect you may have also just squirted a shot of mud into your pants? :icon_eek:
Doing this while driving makes the situation even worse.
Gambeled and lost is what I call that.

[WhiteHonkyDevil]

I was listening to Yellow Discipline earlier, and trying to picture a guy having a heart attack and falling into a Christmas tree, combined with the fact that I drank a LOT of whiskey last night....almost had a horrific ending. I sprinted to the bathroom so damned fast I could've won the Preakness...and there was a definite photo-finish.

It was just one of those moments where you realize the next fart is bringing friends....

[blee]

Last time I shat myself was while taking a big hit off a 4ft bong. I coughed so hard that I shit a little turd in my pants. Luckily there was nobody around at the time.

[Don West]

None here but I've had a lot of those close calls where you're running to the bathroom and you actually begin to relax the sphincter as you're still pulling your pant down and then blast one horizontally before you even sit down on the bowl right away. In fact, I just had one of those a few hours ago.

[CM Mark]

last week. walking through the mall I live near, felt a fart, realized it wasn't a fart, started running toward the bathrooms. farted, shot a little liquid shit into my shorts, made it to the bathroom before any REAL damage was done. although I did have a bit of clean up to do on my ass. tossed the boxers under the toilet. went comando for my work shift that was coming up. I didn't have enough time to run home and get a clean pair of boxers.



going commando actually felt good though.

[Big Log]

I don't know how real this is, but it made me chuckle...

http://www.shtick.org/Misc/ryans.htm

[fothermucker]

I haven't pissed my pants yet drunk. I say yet hesitantly, because I doubt it will happen. I usually evacuate the hose at the first sign of a full bladder. I suppose if its possible if I get retarded drunk, but I rarely do that. I of course have the dribble sometimes, usually in public restrooms where I don't like to give the impression I'm jerking off so I only give a quick shake.

[Death Metal Moe]

I never piss myself drunk. My bladder is really strong for some reason. I've had a full liter of stuff and my bladder doesn't even wake me up most nights.

As for the shit question, a few years ago I had the "spot" in my shorts from the beginning of a sick stomach mess in my shorts. It's been awhile, thankfully.

[Chet Head]

I had a bottle of crown in me, and decided to take my brother-in-law's car around the block to diagnose a problem. Got pulled over for a brake light out, got nervous about getting a DWI and shit all over myself. Fortunately for me the cop smelled shit instead of alcohol and let me go with a quick warning. Called the wife and told her to get the water hose ready. I"M 26 AND I SHIT MYSELF better than a night in jail

[JonBenetRamsey]

I had a bottle of crown in me, and decided to take my brother-in-law's car around the block to diagnose a problem. Got pulled over for a brake light out, got nervous about getting a DWI and shit all over myself. Fortunately for me the cop smelled shit instead of alcohol and let me go with a quick warning. Called the wife and told her to get the water hose ready. I"M 26 AND I SHIT MYSELF better than a night in jail
note to self. if drinking and driving take exlax just in case.

[fothermucker]

I had a bottle of crown in me, and decided to take my brother-in-law's car around the block to diagnose a problem. Got pulled over for a brake light out, got nervous about getting a DWI and shit all over myself. Fortunately for me the cop smelled shit instead of alcohol and let me go with a quick warning. Called the wife and told her to get the water hose ready. I"M 26 AND I SHIT MYSELF better than a night in jail
You're like an octopus with a cloud of ink. I hope you use your defense mechanism in public too.

[Iron Duke]

I worked at a carpet warehouse years ago, one day I lifted a cheek to float one...............shit all over the forklift. I got up and ran out the door, never went back.

[tscho123]

two weeks ago i pissed myself when drunk but i dont count that great night thou

[Arch Stanton]

I worked at a carpet warehouse years ago, one day I lifted a cheek to float one...............shit all over the forklift. I got up and ran out the door, never went back.
Yeah, now that's livin'