Advice

[Glenn Dandy]

My ex gf,, realy screwed up her life ... her new boyfriend dumped her she tryed to kill herself as most of you already know.. her family disowned her, she has a drug and alcohol problem, and shes 38....I let her stay with me to get her shit together... she was doing well, but last night she got drunk and took off out to the bars.... completly disrespecting me as i see it in the process... So the bottom line is i should throw her out on her can.

heres my delema... She has tryed to kill herself three times since ive known her... i saved her life all three times.....

If i throw her out.. shes going to die.. there is no dought in my mind.

What should i do? Keep giving her chances or let her die?

The answer is a easy YES LET HER DIE... but it s not easy to deal with knowing you sent her to it.

I'm realy getting tired of trying to save the world.

[Bunny™]

Have her locked up...let professionals take care of her.

[Glenn Dandy]

not breaking any laws... they let her out of the looney bin already after she survived her last attempt....she only survived because just out of dumb luck she drove by me on a road just by chance after she made the call saying goodbye.. so i turned around and followed her to the house she went to die in.. the ambulance found her in the tub passed out. with 4 bottles of pills in her.

[Bunny™]

they let her out of the looney bin already...
have her thrown back in.....or just let her off herself.
what other options are there...she doesn't seem to want to help herself.

[Smokezilla]

It's a tough decision you got there, GD. . . I don't envy your position at all. You gotta decide if you can handle this shit for the forseeable future. You KNOW that you're only postponing the inevitable if she REALLY wants to "off" herself, mon ami. You gotta be the dude that looks himself in the mirror in the morning and have a clear conscience. Not to sound like a complete cliche: You already know what you need to do.

[Glenn Dandy]

I do,, but its a brutal decision. Its a shame theres not more help available for people like this.

[sued]

Glenn, you are not sending her to do it. She constantly has choices, every moment of her life. You are not making any choices for her or leading her in any direction by asking her to leave. What you have been doing is providing an ongoing opportunity for her to straighten out. Ultimately you have your own responsibilities, yourself and your family. As an adult she must decide what her life is going to look like, even in an impaired state.

If she leaves and dies it will not be your fault or responsibility. She chose.

Good luck and pm if you want to discuss.

[ADD Theater]

If she's almost 40 and can't get it together then don't waste your time.

[Glenn Dandy]

all true... and i completly am in aggrement......I think what it boils down to is after shes dead,,, the way imgoing to feel... Will guilt eat me up... Sued said it correctly... but even with that knowledge,, theres always that 1% chance you didnt do everything you could...


I went through a similar thing with my son being Autistic, i read and researched untill my eyes bled and i couldnt fix him.. I know now that it was in vain,, but My personality is one that doesnt like to admit defeat. I think therein lies alot of my problems.

If she dies i failed. I know thats silly, but im not so emotional as i am vein in my problem solving skills.

[The Sarge]

If she dies i failed. I know thats silly, but im not so emotional as i am vein in my problem solving skills.


You're not the one who fucked her life up...however,

You should get her some help; one thing, YOU aren't the help she needs. Please, get her some professional help. Then again, if she was serious about killing herself, she'd have done it by now. Don't take any chances though.

I think you know the right thing to do.

[Tax Kuntz]

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/5484/drphilmcgraw8yy.jpg (http://imageshack.us/?x=my6&myref=http://www.imageshack.us/)
Sounds like you need professional help

[Glenn Dandy]

Ive decided to give it one more chance... I live alone and shes not realy that big a burdon.... I just set the guidlines,, she has to go to school, she cannot drink, She has been pardoned .. If one rule breaks the hammer falls,, last chance. and she knows it.... Im sure in a few days shell fuck up,,, but atleast i can say i exhausted every avenue, and gave her more of a chance than she probably deservs.

She doesnt steal or anything and is a great cook,,,, wtf, ive gained 10 pounds since she moved in:P

[Turtle]

Ive decided to give it one more chance... I live alone and shes not realy that big a burdon.... I just set the guidlines,, she has to go to school, she cannot drink, She has been pardoned .. If one rule breaks the hammer falls,, last chance. and she knows it.... Im sure in a few days shell fuck up,,, but atleast i can say i exhausted every avenue, and gave her more of a chance than she probably deservs.

She doesnt steal or anything and is a great cook,,,, wtf, ive gained 10 pounds since she moved in:P
Give her the weekend, tell her that on Monday you want her to see a Dr and get some help. Its great that you are willing to help her w/ her problems but at some point she needs to start helping herself. Give her a push in that direction.

[MAVRIC305]

Here is a real answer. Let her stay. If you know she will die, let her stay. This is not a joking matter. Human life should be protected at all costs. You should reprimand her VERY STRICTLY. I mean be a real FUCK. Tear into her, and tell her that she is not a life to be wasted, but a life that needs to be taken seriously. There is a whole lot to life than just getting shit-faced. Let her know that you will not give up on her, and that she has people that love her and will always be there for her.

Tell her, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, it is time to grow up and be a person. Stick with her dude, we all need each other, or one another. In the end, we should all know that the only peace we can find is in one another. If you have no one, you are truly alone and in a lot of trouble. Keep her with you, protect her life. It is precious, no matter how sad a case she is....

Deal with the trouble. I would. Your a good man for already doing so...

I hope you take this advice. We all need help sometimes.

[Tickle The Bag]

Give her the weekend, tell her that on Monday you want her to see a Dr and get some help. Its great that you are willing to help her w/ her problems but at some point she needs to start helping herself. Give her a push in that direction.

I agree. I don't know the situation in this case but someone has to let her know that they care. I am obviously not an expert, but calling you and right before she wacked down 4 bottles of pills seems to be a "cry for help". If this is the case then she will probally accept any advice you offer. And don't let her talk you into the "I am ok now and don't need professional help" theory, because it is obvious that is not the case.

I would say you are giving it 100% and that is all you can do. If she doesn't want to hear it and keeps on with her old habits then you have to cut her lose. You can't let her fuck you up past the point of return.

Keep us updated.

[Tickle The Bag]

The answer is a easy YES LET HER DIE... but it s not easy to deal with knowing you sent her to it.

She is sending herself to it. Not you. My brother is a sober addict and he will tell you the same thing. It's not the people that are around addicts that influence them, its the way they interperit the people around them. Her life is in her hands only. She needs to stop what she is doing because she wants to improve her quality of life, not because you want her to.

all true... and i completly am in aggrement......I think what it boils down to is after shes dead,,, the way imgoing to feel... Will guilt eat me up... Sued said it correctly... but even with that knowledge,, theres always that 1% chance you didnt do everything you could...


I went through a similar thing with my son being Autistic, i read and researched untill my eyes bled and i couldnt fix him.. I know now that it was in vain,, but My personality is one that doesnt like to admit defeat. I think therein lies alot of my problems.

If she dies i failed. I know thats silly, but im not so emotional as i am vein in my problem solving skills.

There is only so much you can do. It's going to get to a point where your life is consumed with this and it is dragging you way, way past the point of help. Until then do what you can do to assist her. When you feel it start to fuck you up beyond control and you notice yourself feeling depressed and drinking more and treating your family and close friends like shit then it's time you seek serious professional help, because it is way beyond your control.

Give her the weekend, tell her that on Monday you want her to see a Dr and get some help. Its great that you are willing to help her w/ her problems but at some point she needs to start helping herself. Give her a push in that direction.

I agree. I don't know the situation in this case but someone has to let her know that they care. I am obviously not an expert, but calling you and right before she wacked down 4 bottles of pills seems to be a "cry for help". If this is the case then she will probally accept any advice you offer. And don't let her talk you into the "I am ok now and don't need professional help" theory, because it is obvious that is not the case.

I would say you are giving it 100% and that is all you can do. If she doesn't want to hear it and keeps on with her old habits then you have to cut her lose. You can't let her fuck you up past the point of return.

Keep us updated.

[Mybigcans]

GD what is happening with the children in the meantime?? Are they living with the both of you???

[Big Dick Mcgee]

GD I feel for you.I thought that my life was a mess.But your's is worse then a episode of Dallas.You are trying to do the right thing witch I admire greatly.Just don't let it consume everthing that you do wheither it be your day to day routine or your every thought.Good luck my friend.

[mascan42]

You gotta go to the family. Yeah, they disowned her . . . but how long ago? Do they know how serious her situation is? There got to be a sympathetic Aunt or something that can assist in getting her the help she needs.

[Jef Leppard]

kick her in the cunt then go get a cheeseburger

[Arch Stanton]

Dandy, your a smart and considerate person. You've become a friend here to me as well as many others. I know you have thought about this and if it's been awhile than this is OK.
If she is self destructive to the point of death and wants to leave this earth so badly and you are the only thing in her way, I believe that there is a chance you are in danger.
Now, we all know if someone wants to do something like this for real and leave this Earth, she will find a way, away from you unless you have her chained to a radiator or somethibg.

[BCH]

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/5484/drphilmcgraw8yy.jpg (http://imageshack.us/?x=my6&myref=http://www.imageshack.us/)
Sounds like you need professional help


Look Glenn! It's Tax Kuntz!

Mystery Solved.

As for your problem sir, Nobody Tries to kill themselves 3 times. She doesn't sound as committed to the Idea as you may think and probably does it so that you'll let her stay in your house when she decides to fuck up. Give her the heave ho and forget she ever existed.

-BCH

[Glenn Dandy]

gotta read up bert.

[Glenn Dandy]

Shes mentaly ill.... weak to a point she needs narcotics and alcohol to function... My brother and i grew up in a town of drugs,,,, they wasted alot of people,,, this girl being alive is practicly amazing.

She needs a serious therapist... but she is poor and dead or high are her options.

look around people.... there are rich bitches bitching about their childhood to therapist laughing their way to the bank.... poor assfucks like this girl are no better than an inner city kid who is just screwed from jump.

they are the sacrificed, the black hole society doesnt care about... the news story died in the 70,s......therefore America doesnt care.

We hear about sudo hippys daily in a war war we winning,,,, Africans getting *****...How stupid ( supposedly) our president is on a daily milking....people start helping Americans from the inside<drugs are fought in other lands....fix the people who feel drugs are better than life.

fix American life.....Im a middle aged White guy... I have crawled though places you wouldnt believe,,,, stood on towers that would scare houdini....
Ihave no benefits,,, but a swoog dealing crack can see a doctor regularly?


base problem squeeky wheels getting the oil... democracy is faltering because those running the real show arent paying attention.

drunk as hell but about to hit post! no dont do it.... fuck it.