fuck jury duty

[JonBenetRamsey]

sitting in awful seats for way too long is horrific. and it's day 2 and only 8 people have been seated. jesus christ give me my money and send me on my way assholes.

[bruisedballbag]

sitting in awful seats for way too long is horrific. and it's day 2 and only 8 people have been seated. jesus christ give me my money and send me on my way assholes.



I have to tell you that I either ignored or was able to get out of jury duty, but I think the next time I get the notice, I am going to go do it.

A day off work with pay, and get to set some criminal free.

I think I may enjoy a trial, especially since I am not the one on trial for a change.

[Harvey_Birdman]

I've reviewed many questionnaires from potential jurors and although it might seem like a tedious job there are occasional bright spots. My favourites are the ones who take the whole thing too seriously and see the questions as an opportunity to declare their personal political beliefs to the world.

For example, "All things being equal, would you be more likely to believe the testimony of a police officer over a civilian simply because he or she is a police officer?" always elicits some great responses.

Of course, sex crime cases are the best, because we get to ask the jurors if they've ever been a victim or know someone who has been a victim. Then they come up to the bench in private and reveal all the hot details.

[NoSurviivors]

I got busted wth a whole lotta weed like 10 years ago, so I'm not fit to participate.

ha ha

[DirtyRiderGirl]

Just get a note from a psychiatrist that says you're too fucked in the head to participate. That's what my sister does. Works every time.

[Budyzir]

Nothing for nothing, I didn't mind being called in several months ago. There were some very fine looking ladies to chat with there and I caught up on some reading.

The one jury selection I was called for me and three other people who were excused compared our questioners. The only common thread was we all had graduate degrees. So, give yourself a MBA MFA, or a PHD and you should be golden.

[Skinflute]

Don't vote, they use voting registration records to pick for jury duty.
Or find a way to get on parole or probation. Any felony conviction will do.

No more pesky jury duty. ;)

[Death Metal Moe]

I got called to Newark, NJ for Federal jury duty. That was a fucking blast. They told us that we would have to give them like 3 fucking months of our lives, and it was the most BLAND BULLSHIT I've ever heard of. One insurance company was suing another over something. The guy at the center of it all was fucking dead and we were going to have to watch his testimony from past trials on tape.

Fuck that dude. I dodged a bullet and was never called. One wasted day of my life I'll never fucking get back.

And unless you're packin' groceries at C-Town, it ain't that much money in the check they send you.

[westben2002]

say that you have predjustices, and if its a crime where the death penalty is involved, say you don't believe in it, and they will not select you as a juror

[kloraferm]

Don't vote, they use voting registration records to pick for jury duty.
Or find a way to get on parole or probation. Any felony conviction will do.

No more pesky jury duty. ;)
In that case, don't pay taxes, work, drive, have a social security #, or any other way for the gov't to know you exist. Parole, maybe if you can produce court records that prove you're a felon (probation...sorry). I know this from working directly in the jury division of the county courthouse for 6 1/2 years, and after 500 calls a day, I've heard it all. Simply not voting is meaningless.

[JonBenetRamsey]

yea, got stuck as an alternate juror. awesome........

[DonTheTrucker]

Blurt out the N-word. Instant freedom from jury duty.

[Handey]

Or just show up with an M-42 German Helmet, claiming it helps you get cabs. You'll get dismissed for sure.

[mikeybot]

I think just the fact that I'm bald, have a lip ring, wore a Digital Hardcore t-shirt(Atari Teenage Riot's label), and combats might have nad a little something to do with them eventually excusing me.
Or just lie.

[kloraferm]

Blurt out the N-word. Instant freedom from jury duty.
Quick bit of free advice; you try to play the predjudice card and the clerks will keep you there longer, even if they don't need you, just to annoy you.

[circpro]

I got out by telling the judge that my employer had business trip scheduled for me. Be prepared to answer questions on where you are going, when you leave and when you return. Wasn't all a lie... I did have a trip...just not until the following week...