Flea_Man
08-15-2006, 04:55 PM
So I tried out for a little show on Fox called American Idol. If you don't want to read my experience then I'll just let you know the conclusion. I didn't make it.
So here's how it works for anyone who doesn't know. You don't go right away to Simon, Randy, Paula. There's a whole process beforehand. You gotta try out for pre-judges, to see if you have "something" for TV, either you're really bad or really good. So there are probably some really good singers who didn't make it cause they wanted some awful jerkoff who wants to be on TV.
On Saturday you have to go there and register and get your bracelet. The contract they have you sign is unbelieveable. Basically it's no matter what you do on the show or at the arena, they can use for their reasons and you can't sue. Like if you say "yeah man, this is going to be great"; they can take that clip and just use it anywhere. So Ryan Seacrest can go "so who wants to have gay sex with me?" and they can throw your voice or likeness in and you can't sue. Also, I can't make an album within now to when the show starts. So I guess "Soul Flea" isn't coming out soon.
Monday is when the real fun begins. I got there about 3 in the morning and stood on line for about 6 hours before going inside. At about 6 AM all these motherfucking TV stations are out there with their hack morning outdoor crew interviewing people. They also have the whole Fox crew have everyone do chants for when they use it. So everyone has to go "American Idol starts right now *cheer*" "Pick me Simon *cheer*" "Welcome to the big apple *cheer*" Even though we are in fucking New Jersey they want me to believe we are in New York. Get inside and get in your assigned seat. Then the whoooooooooole arena has to sing "Can't Smile Without You" for that wacky part where you sing the city song.
Basically.......... I could have gotten there at noon and skipped all the pre-boring stuff.
How they judge you to get on tv: there are 14 tables on the arena floor. At each table, they have 4 people come up to a table at a time. They give each person at the table 20 seconds to sign to the judges at their table. Basically, it's just them looking at you and judging everything about you in that few seconds. They do all 56 people in only a minute and a half. Out of about 30,000 people, they took about 500.
So when I got up, I did my Kane "big boot kick". I sang about 20 seconds of 'walking in mephis'. They asked me to sing another song, so I went "And I said..... what about-" "thank you that's enough". Didn't make it to see the real judges. Aw well.
Best part was some local morning show (one of those "who cares?" stations. Like channel 8.) interviewed me outside of the arena beforehand. I sang a little of "Follow Me" and she goes "I don't think we will" after the lyric "find nobody else like me". She thanks me and I "woo hoo public access" and she gives me a look of 'why'd you blow up my spot'. Made me laugh.
Pretty boring. 12 hours of my life used for about a minute's worth of importance. Any questions or something just ask.
So here's how it works for anyone who doesn't know. You don't go right away to Simon, Randy, Paula. There's a whole process beforehand. You gotta try out for pre-judges, to see if you have "something" for TV, either you're really bad or really good. So there are probably some really good singers who didn't make it cause they wanted some awful jerkoff who wants to be on TV.
On Saturday you have to go there and register and get your bracelet. The contract they have you sign is unbelieveable. Basically it's no matter what you do on the show or at the arena, they can use for their reasons and you can't sue. Like if you say "yeah man, this is going to be great"; they can take that clip and just use it anywhere. So Ryan Seacrest can go "so who wants to have gay sex with me?" and they can throw your voice or likeness in and you can't sue. Also, I can't make an album within now to when the show starts. So I guess "Soul Flea" isn't coming out soon.
Monday is when the real fun begins. I got there about 3 in the morning and stood on line for about 6 hours before going inside. At about 6 AM all these motherfucking TV stations are out there with their hack morning outdoor crew interviewing people. They also have the whole Fox crew have everyone do chants for when they use it. So everyone has to go "American Idol starts right now *cheer*" "Pick me Simon *cheer*" "Welcome to the big apple *cheer*" Even though we are in fucking New Jersey they want me to believe we are in New York. Get inside and get in your assigned seat. Then the whoooooooooole arena has to sing "Can't Smile Without You" for that wacky part where you sing the city song.
Basically.......... I could have gotten there at noon and skipped all the pre-boring stuff.
How they judge you to get on tv: there are 14 tables on the arena floor. At each table, they have 4 people come up to a table at a time. They give each person at the table 20 seconds to sign to the judges at their table. Basically, it's just them looking at you and judging everything about you in that few seconds. They do all 56 people in only a minute and a half. Out of about 30,000 people, they took about 500.
So when I got up, I did my Kane "big boot kick". I sang about 20 seconds of 'walking in mephis'. They asked me to sing another song, so I went "And I said..... what about-" "thank you that's enough". Didn't make it to see the real judges. Aw well.
Best part was some local morning show (one of those "who cares?" stations. Like channel 8.) interviewed me outside of the arena beforehand. I sang a little of "Follow Me" and she goes "I don't think we will" after the lyric "find nobody else like me". She thanks me and I "woo hoo public access" and she gives me a look of 'why'd you blow up my spot'. Made me laugh.
Pretty boring. 12 hours of my life used for about a minute's worth of importance. Any questions or something just ask.