Hudson
08-16-2006, 06:16 AM
By Amy Paturel
Is your concern for your partner's diet weighing on your relationship?
You're not alone. In fact, researchers at Cornell University found that marital status plays a significant role in body weight: Newlyweds gain an average of six to eight pounds in the first two years of marriage.
Whether you're newlyweds or you've been married for ten years, broaching the subject of your partner's weight gain is never easy.
Nearly every couple struggles with food issues. Some may be as simple as one person wanting pepperoni on their pizza while the other wants vegetables and low-fat cheese. While this issue can be solved with a two-for-one topping pizza deal, other food fights are not as simple.
If you're not careful in your approach, you can easily start an ongoing food fight, which could take a serious toll on your relationship.
Here's how to navigate a potentially sticky situation, while keeping your relationship intact.
▪ Easy Does It
How do you bring the subject up to your partner?
Avoiding criticism of your partner is key. According to Tina Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of "How to Be Free and Still Be a Couple," the best way to raise the weight issue is to approach it from a health perspective. Gently bring up the topic by saying, "I want you to be around for a long time and I'm worried about your health."
▪ Don't say the F word
That three-letter word (Fat) is sure to hurt feelings. Similarly, the words 'you've gained weight' should never cross your lips, says Cynthia Sass, M.P.H., M.A., R.D., co-author of "Your Diet is Driving Me Crazy: When Food Conflicts Get in the Way of Your Love Life." Your partner already knows that he or she has gained weight -- (he/she has a scale and a mirror, right?). There's no need to emphasize the point. Instead, focus on why your partner has gained weight and try to help them with the root problem.
What your spouse needs most is support and encouragement for tackling the problem. Create an action plan, which includes specific strategies for lending support.
▪ Sweat together
Getting active and staying fit is a partnership.
"Take walks, ride bikes, go swimming, learn to kayak ... or have more sex," says Tessina.
But never launch into a competitive challenge, which experts claim is the kiss of death -– both for your workout and your relationship.
Instead, find creative ways to motivate and support each other. Launch a win-win challenge by putting $5 in a pot for every pound lost or every 10 miles you run -– no matter which partner does the losing or running. Then, use the money to buy something for both of you. Couples massage anyone?
▪ Don't cop out
And don't hoard harmful snacks!
"Food policing is one of the most serious food-related issues between partners," says Sass. "And in most cases, it fuels the behavior the food cop is trying to change."
A better approach: Stock the fridge with ready-to-eat produce. Keep cherry tomatoes, sliced cucumbers, baby carrots and celery sticks on hand. Cut watermelon, honeydew and cantaloupe into cubes and make it available for an impromptu craving.
▪ Get help
If all else fails, and finances permit, enlist the help of a professional.
A registered dietitian can provide specific strategies to help both of you slim down and stay on track –- and you don't have to share a bed with 'em. Amy Paturel, M.S., M.P.H., is a freelance writer. Her work frequently appears in such magazines as Cooking Light, Health, Self, SHAPE and Marie Claire.
From:http://diets.aol.com/newsandtrends/how-to-tell-your-spouse-to-lose-weight
Is your concern for your partner's diet weighing on your relationship?
You're not alone. In fact, researchers at Cornell University found that marital status plays a significant role in body weight: Newlyweds gain an average of six to eight pounds in the first two years of marriage.
Whether you're newlyweds or you've been married for ten years, broaching the subject of your partner's weight gain is never easy.
Nearly every couple struggles with food issues. Some may be as simple as one person wanting pepperoni on their pizza while the other wants vegetables and low-fat cheese. While this issue can be solved with a two-for-one topping pizza deal, other food fights are not as simple.
If you're not careful in your approach, you can easily start an ongoing food fight, which could take a serious toll on your relationship.
Here's how to navigate a potentially sticky situation, while keeping your relationship intact.
▪ Easy Does It
How do you bring the subject up to your partner?
Avoiding criticism of your partner is key. According to Tina Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of "How to Be Free and Still Be a Couple," the best way to raise the weight issue is to approach it from a health perspective. Gently bring up the topic by saying, "I want you to be around for a long time and I'm worried about your health."
▪ Don't say the F word
That three-letter word (Fat) is sure to hurt feelings. Similarly, the words 'you've gained weight' should never cross your lips, says Cynthia Sass, M.P.H., M.A., R.D., co-author of "Your Diet is Driving Me Crazy: When Food Conflicts Get in the Way of Your Love Life." Your partner already knows that he or she has gained weight -- (he/she has a scale and a mirror, right?). There's no need to emphasize the point. Instead, focus on why your partner has gained weight and try to help them with the root problem.
What your spouse needs most is support and encouragement for tackling the problem. Create an action plan, which includes specific strategies for lending support.
▪ Sweat together
Getting active and staying fit is a partnership.
"Take walks, ride bikes, go swimming, learn to kayak ... or have more sex," says Tessina.
But never launch into a competitive challenge, which experts claim is the kiss of death -– both for your workout and your relationship.
Instead, find creative ways to motivate and support each other. Launch a win-win challenge by putting $5 in a pot for every pound lost or every 10 miles you run -– no matter which partner does the losing or running. Then, use the money to buy something for both of you. Couples massage anyone?
▪ Don't cop out
And don't hoard harmful snacks!
"Food policing is one of the most serious food-related issues between partners," says Sass. "And in most cases, it fuels the behavior the food cop is trying to change."
A better approach: Stock the fridge with ready-to-eat produce. Keep cherry tomatoes, sliced cucumbers, baby carrots and celery sticks on hand. Cut watermelon, honeydew and cantaloupe into cubes and make it available for an impromptu craving.
▪ Get help
If all else fails, and finances permit, enlist the help of a professional.
A registered dietitian can provide specific strategies to help both of you slim down and stay on track –- and you don't have to share a bed with 'em. Amy Paturel, M.S., M.P.H., is a freelance writer. Her work frequently appears in such magazines as Cooking Light, Health, Self, SHAPE and Marie Claire.
From:http://diets.aol.com/newsandtrends/how-to-tell-your-spouse-to-lose-weight