FU Telemarketers

[ShooterMcGavin]

First of all I'd like to suggest this to everyone:

https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

I did this as soon as I moved into my apartment, but it takes like 30 days to register, so I still get a ton of telemarketer calls.

Now, I don't really get as angry if the person isn't a DOUCHE. For example, I am calm if after I say, "I'm not interested, thank you," they say, "alright have a good day" and hang up. This is what all telemarketers should do. They should know it's not worth it.

The worst are the ones that push and push and don't give up, and these are the people I blow up on.

This is the call I just got.

Me: Hello?
Twat: Hiiii this is Christina and I am calling about a deal we have on a 4 day getaway to Branson, Missouri.
Me: Not interested, thanks.
Twat: Awww how is that? I haven't even told you about the deal yet.
Me: I know. I'm not interested.
Twat: Well let me just tell you and I'll be out of your way-
Me: Shut the fuck up, cunt. *click*

WHY would you push it? Fuckin dummies think they have a great power of persuasion.

Has anyone EVER bought something from a telemarketer? I'd like to meet anyone who has, and I'd like to give them AIDS. I will go to Africa, grab the first monkey I see, fuck the shit out of the little bastard, come back, line up everyone who flattered these telemarketer assholes, bend them over, and cornhole each one of them.

[novalia]

hahaha when someone steals and distributes THAT list there is going to be a shitstorm.. i just got me a private telephone number and that does the job nicely. =)

[novalia]

i dont know why you wait for the goodbyes..
just say not interested click..
why do you bother staying on the phone?

[Joe Avezzano]

Why even say anything? Just hang up. Problem solved.

[Arch Stanton]

Give the ole sorry they are busy right now sucking my dick, can they call you back later?

[d0uche_n0zzle]

I tell them take me off your stupid list, I'll never buy shit from them.

[WonkaVision]

I just keep spewing obscenities until they hang up.....and THEY ALWAYS HANG UP.....just start listing the worst surses you know...they won't last long.

[HummerTuesdays]

My favorites are, "Hold on, I'll get my mom" and then just leave the phone on the counter. I like wasting their time. If they ask for a specific person, I start sobbing uncontrollably and claim that the person is dead. It got a credit card company to stop calling my number & asking for my step dad. Yeah, figure that one out!

I don't get many random calls like that these days. I have an unlisted number and have been on the "do not call list" since I moved.

[JimsInfectedEye]

My favorites are, "Hold on, I'll get my mom" and then just leave the phone on the counter. I like wasting their time.


I do that too. I may have my kid babble incoherently into the phone, or put it on the table - one of these days I'll set up a recorder and have some fun.

[blee]

Most of the time I put the phone by my speakers and let them listen to O&A. I had one guy stay on the line for about 10 minutes. One time I faked a cough attack. Another time I burped for about 2 minutes straight till they hung up. And probably my most favorite one was just screaming as loud as I could into the phone, I hope I blew that fuckers ear out.
Thinking back, I wish they would call me. I have not had a single one for about 4 months.

[Puddle O AIDs]

Telemarketers are just a good excuse to call people cunts without any awkward moments, never waste such an opertunity

[DeltaPin]

My favorites are, "Hold on, I'll get my mom" and then just leave the phone on the counter. I like wasting their time.

Sometimes, if I know it's a telemarketer, I just answer the phone then not make a sound. I get a kick out of those few uncomfortable moments while they're saying 'hello' till they finally hang up.

[Joe Avezzano]

Or perhaps you could see how many "Ramone" lines you could give them until they hang up...

[BGrant]

I got this obvious bitch from India once who called pushing some crap from Chase bank, and she couldn't get my last name right, so I just let her make the sales pitch, which she did at high speed, reading this huge paragraph of text as I set the phone aside and watched TV. Eventually she stopped after the big read and hung up.

Hanging up on them immediately sometimes lures the dickheads to call back and hang up upon succession. These was a spate of Hispanic women who called and couldn't get my last name out properly, and proceeded to make the sales pitch in very heavy accents.

After registering on the do not call list and having fun setting aside the handset when I do get a cll on occassion, I've taken things more in stride. Anyone who buys something from a telemarketer should have their teeth pulled out by a set of rusty pliers in Times Square.