Fuck Office PC and Bitches that run to the boss to complain about unoffensive things

[BGrant]

You'd think I did a verbatum tribute to Bob Saget's routine from the travelling virus in the office today the way the head boss called me in to tell me that someone objected to a comment I made. Lesson learned here, whitey can't say a darned thing and for the most part won't, because all the old divorcee white woman man haters and aforementioned minority walking baby incubators live to loom for dirt on someone, and failing to find it, would distort the most mild of statements and make them out to sound as if truly vile things were said. I really resent fat assed females that look like a giant, mutated pear with eyes and legs who have an office job in order to draw a paycheck just to gossip and rat on other people they don't seem to like.

[rahrah]

hard to believe you could have said anything offensive

[frankjg]

So... What did you say?

[BGrant]

That's the kicker, I said something that would have warrented the car wreck sound on the show. People were commentating how dirty the inside of the refrigerator is at work, so I said, get ready now, that the refrigerator needs an exorcism, but it would be tough to get one done because there aren't a lot of priests around. Well, one of the hypocrites who prays every day must have been offended because maybe I was insinuating something about some illicit behavior they did which made them go away (I didn't have anything of the sort in mind), but it was enough to get a warning. I could understand a real killer line, but I think if I sneeze now, someone would say I used a slur. The other annoying thing is that they all say and use terminology that would get me atomized if I ever even thought of using it, but its OK for them to do so.

[d0uche_n0zzle]

Revenge is a dish best served cold...

Or you could lay in wait and cave the cunts' skull in.

[BGrant]

Revenge is a dish best served cold...

Or you could lay in wait and cave the cunts' skull in.


I thought about that, but I think the whole legal system has gone cunt and they'd sympathize with the office cunts. When in the hell did society get so goddamned petty and stupid?

[d0uche_n0zzle]

Started way back when we gave them rights.

[BGrant]

Yup, and the aforementioned white guilt the upper bosses have makes them stamp out stuff like this because they're afraid of their own asses. If Al Quaida got this kind of treatment, there would be no terror menace. Go after the non-threatening, always good to stomp out fires that aren't there and waste your energy.

[Salem]

Ya dam that Abe Lincoln....ohh wait you meant the broads....

[Exanimate]

Revenge is a dish best served cold...

Or you could lay in wait and cave the cunts' skull in.

I was going to suggest hiding in her backseat, and then strangle her when she got in the car.

[Angelfuck]

That's the kicker, I said something that would have warrented the car wreck sound on the show. People were commentating how dirty the inside of the refrigerator is at work, so I said, get ready now, that the refrigerator needs an exorcism, but it would be tough to get one done because there aren't a lot of priests around.

wow, a joke that cheesy could never be offensive, sorry dude, people look way too far into things

[Skinflute]

When in the hell did society get so goddamned petty and stupid?
Right about here, sir.:action-sm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitu tion

Also known as, "The beginning of the end".

[BGrant]

Gents, thanks for the replies. This little corner has become my only respite for a brief whiff of sanity. Yes, Skinflute, you're right (unfortunately). If I used a really good line, at least I would have the satisfaction that I verbally ripped into someone and I would take the consequences. Reading into stuff and taking it apart, rearranging it to suit some really warped point I was nowhere near making is just sick to the severist degree, and mind you, it goes on as these cunt whores drop F bomb after F bomb all day long.

[frankjg]

That's the kicker, I said something that would have warrented the car wreck sound on the show. People were commentating how dirty the inside of the refrigerator is at work, so I said, get ready now, that the refrigerator needs an exorcism, but it would be tough to get one done because there aren't a lot of priests around. Well, one of the hypocrites who prays every day must have been offended because maybe I was insinuating something about some illicit behavior they did which made them go away (I didn't have anything of the sort in mind), but it was enough to get a warning. I could understand a real killer line, but I think if I sneeze now, someone would say I used a slur. The other annoying thing is that they all say and use terminology that would get me atomized if I ever even thought of using it, but its OK for them to do so.

Maybe they told the boss because your joke sucked so bad.. :icon_mrgr

[TreeFortRichard]

Try putting a little chunk of tuna behind one of the drawers on her desk...Oh will that reak after a few days...NO ONE will find it and of course no one will want to point out that she stinks to her, but everyone will talk behind her back...Also start a rumor that she never washes her hands after the bathroom. That will further enhance the stinky dirty image. Also occasionaly just throw her lunch out...Each day you will smile at her misery

[Puddle O AIDs]

I could never work in an office, its official

[DonTheTrucker]

Also occasionaly just throw her lunch out...Each day you will smile at her misery


Thats the best one, except I'd eat the lunch and put the wrappers back in the bag, then put the bag back in the fridge.

[charlie dick]

...I'd eat the lunch and put the wrappers back in the bag, then put the bag back in the fridge.
You'd eat a cunt's lunch? :icon_eek:

Better plan: Make dogfood sandwiches and substitute...

[BGrant]

Maybe they told the boss because your joke sucked so bad.. :icon_mrgr


That would have been more acceptable instead of reading into things way too deep and making it look as what it really was, that they are on the hunt for dirt on the new guy, and failing to find any, they twist the facts to make it look way worse than it really was. Ok, I get it, the 'shut up white boy' sadly worked in this case.

Again, when they drop the F-bomb nonstop, or the Asian guy in the cubicle sleeps, comes in late, or looks at pics that are borderline softcore porn on his computer in full view of others, that's Ok with them. No, I will not rat anyone out, because I think it would backfire overall. The tuna idea is a good one, but I'm in the cubicle next to her's so I'd end up screwing myself. And the fat pig goes out to lunch daily, since the taxpayer is paying for her kid, so no stealing lunches unless I manage to steal the restaurant she was thinking of going to beforehand (this is what the whole morning revolves around, talk about the baby stuff she wants and what they're going to do for lunch, an outsider would think that the company does this instead of filling orders for optomitrists).

Again, if the rule covered everyone, I could live with it, but the selective double standard is really hypocritical.

[Three Hole Puncher]

You could try to apologize to her for your insensitive remark, or you could lie in wait for her in the parking lot, pounce one her, and then drag her behind a dumpster and brutally assrape her.

Sensible options both.

[BGrant]

I already offered the phony apology for the day before to try to smooth things over, which didn't work, because the bitch is going after people to avoid working and keep management off balance, hence their cowering in taking me to task, no biggie, now I know to be tight lipped in there. As for ass f-ing her, believe me if you saw her, you'd go gay faster than Sam Champion at one of those bike for whatever caused he's currently involved in through Central Park in his speedo.

[Smokezilla]

I work in an office with a whole boatload of fucking twatty-cunts, too. There's not much more you can do than inflict petty cruelties on them. One of my favorites is what I do to the insane cunt that works in the cubicle next to mine. I know she eaves-drops on my telephone conversations during the day whenever she can as I'm her supervisor. I usually keep my Dell DJ20 mp3 player and speakers turned-up to garble what she can hear. Once in a while, I kill the mp3 player and I'll have a fake phone conversation with Human Resources whilst dropping all kinds of insane and inaccurate remarks about promotions, termiations, and job openings when I know she's probably listening. She then in-turn tells her cunty friends and starts all kinds of rumors around the office. When it turns-out to be false, she looks like a fucking loon. . . and I sit there and loff-and-loff!!! No a major victory, but enough to really make her look like an ignorant bitch to the rest of the staff and management. Hillarious!!!

The tuna idea works very well. We did that to a guy in my office and the dude was begging us to tell him what we had done to him by the end of the week. Keep yourself a small bottle of air freshener and a small electric fan to generate a breeze going in the opposite direction from your desk. You'll be fine!

More than likely, the bitch who went to your boss isn't your boss's favorite person, either. Maybe you need to start directing a little attention his way and "buddy-up" with him a little. I know the ignorant cunts in my office aren't the favorites of the other supervisors. Oftentimes, you can help your manager find an excuse to do-away with this bitch if you can catch her in some violation of company rules or something of that nature. That may sound like "snitching", but, as Rambo would have said, She drew firstblood, Sir! She drew firstblood!

[BGrant]

Pregnant cunt leaves in about a week, so I think I can manage until then, then its glorious maternity leave for her and hopefully, things will change to the extent that she may not want to come back, or they won't take her back, maybe even by that time, I'll move on. The older lady office manager maybe told the higher up boss to talk to me to drive the point home so I would take the hint and not potentially say something major that they couldn't just sweep under the rug, maybe its good to get called on the carpet in the beginning for trivial crap than a real bomb of a comment, but still, I can't help but feel the sting from the double standard of low class shits who have a new profanity coming out of their mouths in every other word they mutter, and the fact that they were on my ass Gestapo-like for a matter they could have said politely, 'you know, you may want to be careful int he future, as someone here has a reputation for being a real troublemaker and looks for stuff like that to take the company to court and get mega bucks...." Maybe something like that happened before, so I'm on guard from here on in, but I'm marked in a way. On the drive home in traffic, past the GW bridge and on the Cross Bronx non-expressway, I couldn't help but think that this sort of behavior by the thought police in varied offices and in other industries has led to the state of things being the way they are, especially in the fields of music and movies/TV where the vast majority of product sucks, because everyone wants to please everybody and God forbid they may hint at offending someone. As for the office I'm in, I can take it, but they might as well start wearing the veils as they do in Saudi Arabia and the rest of the hardline Middle East, at least the veil would cover up their offensive, ugly snouts and counterbalance the speech we've all lost.

But I will keep the tuna idea on file for future reference. Bought from a 99 cent store, packed in oil, no less......

[Mother Shucker]

God damn rich cunts.......You should kill rich cunts......

[d0uche_n0zzle]

I started working for a company as a field worker/courier and was called into the presidents office (woman) with no less then four out of five hostle cunts in one department in there that I was having problems with. Well these cunts tried to get me fired because I had the nerve to tell them to fuck off calling me nine million times a day telling me how to do my job.

I told the president, I'm more then happy to do anything, but I will under no circumstance take direction from someone (cunts) sitting sixty miles away on how to compete my job.

Bottomline, the cunts all quit/fired within two months after the little meeting.

Sometimes it pays to stand up for yourself.

[THE FEZ MAN]

at my old job at the photo lab we had a fucking cunt that used to complain to corprate about everything that we did; cussing, bitching, you name it. every one hated the shit that she pulled. well she also liked to be late for work. one time she complained that i was makeing out with a co worker (yes a chick) and she caught us. she wrote a letter to corpate complaining about it. from that point on we cataloged everthing that she did 3 more lates and i fired her on the spot. she tried to sue the company under the wistle blowers bull shit she lost. fucking cunt

[BGrant]

Sometimes it pays to stand up for yourself.

I appreciate your advice along with The Fez Man's comments, and you're right. I started about two weeks ago, after a long period of unemployment or underemployment, so I'll let them think they won this round, take this as a lesson to watch what I say and be greatful it happened early on so I know who I'm dealing with, and prepare myself to endure for a longer campaign. The minority dirtbag who got knocked up by the loser is leaving on maternity leave soon, and things could only get better ffrom then on. The older woman who has issues with white males because her husband left her is one I'll be careful to not give any more ammunition to, but if some crap happens down the road, in time, I'll be prepared. When these cunst face someone who doesn't take their crap, they implode.

[Mikey Mouse]

They are probably digging for reasons to fire you.

[HummerTuesdays]

I'd come in next Monday (or in a few weeks, but before the witch comes back) with a Bible and leave it on your desk. Claim that the incident made you start thinking about God and religion, so you went to church, and have found God. Their foul language, which is inappropriate in an office setting, is now offensive, and you'd appreciate it if they respected your religious views. :)

I got called out for something even less offensive. I was reviewing a property at my old job, some really nice apartment complex. $4k/month rent, which although less than my annual salary, was still probably a lot more than my take-home pay. In our monthly staff meeting the VP of our group jokingly asked if I would move there, and I said, "Not on this salary." That got a chuckle from some of the people in the room, but the VP was horrified. I attempted to back peddle, but she had it out for me for a while, and this didn't help. I got spoken to by both my director and manager because it "set a bad example for the new people." Well fuck, if they weren't such slave drivers, maybe we wouldn't be continuously hiring new people. It still makes me laugh, though, and it's another reminder that leaving was the right thing to do.

[WonkaVision]

Sneak up behind her when she is working and hit her in the skull with a claw-hammer.....the, using the hole from the hammer, insert your penis and proceed to fuck her brains, while screaming racial slurs and cutting your arms while Nine inch nail's "Hurt" plays in the background. When you cum, wipe your dick in your hands and then slap your boss in the face with the semen/brain matter/ skull fragments.

That'll Show em.

[westben2002]

yeah, at my work, we're allowed to put up things in our cubical which would be somewhat tasteful. So i put a WOW sticker on my drawer to make that place somewhat bearable. Then some cunt i work with came into my cubical to talk to me about something, and she looks at the sticker....then a few hours later, i got an office memo from my boss, directed to me, explaining that i should take it down because of the stickers message....apparently PC cunts know about the show and know what it means......so i had to take it down....later that day she comes back and isn't even fucking discreet about it she goes 'oh, you took your sticker down, what changed your mind?" and smirks and walks away. FUCK YOU PC CUNTS

[FAngel]

yeah, at my work, we're allowed to put up things in our cubical which would be somewhat tasteful. So i put a WOW sticker on my drawer to make that place somewhat bearable. Then some cunt i work with came into my cubical to talk to me about something, and she looks at the sticker....then a few hours later, i got an office memo from my boss, directed to me, explaining that i should take it down because of the stickers message....apparently PC cunts know about the show and know what it means......so i had to take it down....later that day she comes back and isn't even fucking discreet about it she goes 'oh, you took your sticker down, what changed your mind?" and smirks and walks away. FUCK YOU PC CUNTS


Ewww, who the fuck does that?

Where in Bethlehem do you work, if I may ask? These girls may need a few phone calls from Steve...

[d0uche_n0zzle]

They need to be corrrrrected with a good ass ******.

[Southern Fried Pest]

I had some cunts complain about my keys in my front pocket making a bulge in my pants.
Another cunt complained about me sitting down while working, (stuffing flags in a box and throwing them on the UPS line)
Another about an antenna on my radio sticking up too high
I had my part 15 transmitter set up, broadcasting my iPod through the plant, and had a little logo on my table for the station, someone bitched about that. Yet some mexican is writing puto or whatever it is all over everything, sleeping in the bathroom, and pimping with the ladies, nobody says a word to him. Same thing with one black guy, he comes in late all the time, and just sits around all day, maybe moves a box here and there. But oh hell no, white boy's got an antenna on his radio, we can't have that now, can we?

[BGrant]

I like it when the white gals sit down and talk with two or more black gals and suddenly they throw around "girlfriend" and all that "urban" terminology as if they were from the ghetto too. White women in an office can't even stand to work alongside one another, throw in a white guy, and they all have a target they can all agree on hating, whereas they yearn for the black guy's massive tool for themselves because he knows what its like to be "oppressed" like they are. Its all so G-damned annoying, that I'm surprised that any company employing these dumb broads doesn't go under in the next quarter.

[THE FEZ MAN]

thats why i hate working with women.

[JimboSHU]

man, I say about 100x worse at my workplace everyday and get not even a slap on the wrist...lucky my company is so laid back

[grail]

A little suggestion for extra stinkiness is to wrap the tuna in a little lettuce before hiding it. The combined rot/funk is excellent.

PC cunts come in many forms. Mine here is a bible thumper bitch boy and a veggie neo-hippie or whatever the fuck they call themselves. I have to watch what I say around the office, however when I'm on the extrusion floor I can let anything rip.

Why can't we laugh at the horrible despicable things in life? Midgets = funny, retards = funny, stupid holes = funny, towelheads, etc. = funny and not have to get reprimanded like we are 5 years old.

Fuck the PC cunts.