Cigars&scotch deathwatch?

[cigarsandscotch]

I will most likely not be posting for a week or so since I am having surgery on Monday. I will be having a portion of my sigmoid colon removed. I'll be having it done laparoscopically so that I will recover quicker.

P.S. ladies (even though I am married and my wife is too uptight to let me fuck any off you anyway, otherwise I would so do you, especially because I know you are into me and want it in the worst way from a guy that smells like...well, cigars and scotch), it doesn't involve a colostomy, so I am still totally fuckable. They just make (3) 2" incisions, pull the bowel through it, snip it, re-attach it and stuff it back in.


Why? Nah, no cancer....thank God. Over the past 5 years I have had diverticulitis 5 or 6 times. It is rare for a guy in his early 30's to have it, but when they do it tends to flare up aggressively. Some people are just predispositioned towards it for no particular reason. Many people develop tiny outpouches on their large intestine (diverticulOSIS) and are a-symptomatic. Other schmucks like me have instances when those little pockets get inflammed (DiverticulITIS) Lucky me. They advise you not to eat any seeds, nuts or corn, (which I haven't been!) to lessen the risk of diverticulitis, but it is only a theory. Nothing sucks worse than being Italian and not eating semolina bread with seeds or pignoli cookies. Shit, I even avoid fucking eggplant at this point because of the seeds.

What does it feel like? When you are in a state of diverticulits you get those cramps in your intestine like you are about to shit Guiness beer, but nothing happens. There is no diarrhea or relief, just miserable, cramping pain...until you start taking antibiotics (Flagyll and Levaquin..sometimes Cipro) and it begins to subside. The thing that really sucks about that is you are unable to drink alcohol for 10 days on account of the meds (especailly the Flagyll, that will get you VERY sick).


So, I have decided to follow doctor's advice and have this surgery electively. It is definitely the right move. People with diverticulitis often perforate (bowel gets a hole in it) and you become septic (shit and bacteria get into your peritoneum). This leads to colostomies and sometimes death. I've done enough Catscans on patients to see what I don't want to happen to me.

Anyhow, this isn't a feel sorry for Cigars&scotch thread, I should bounce back in no time....unless I die on the table or have develop some horrible complication and mysteriously stop posting. I'm not sure if the hospital has internet access. If it does I'll post and definitely cam up in the hospital bed, otherwise I will be back in 3-4 days after surgery when I am expected to be released.

It is going to be tough managing Cigars JR. as I am not supposed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for 6 weeks. This also means that I get to go on disability for 6 wks. 2/3 pay sucks, but it is still 6 weeks off from work. My wife will be working from home for 3 days during the work week and my mother will help out the other 2 to keep junior from cannonballing into my healing gut. Well, wish me a "good luck bro" and I'll be back soon.

[mikepop]

Good luck Buddy

[Capt.Quint]

May I be the first to say.....Good Luck Bro!!!:action-sm

But seriously hope everything works out the best for you and may you have a quick recovery.

[mikeybot]

Good luck

[BaLZaC~308]

yea man, good luck

[Angelfuck]

I hope it doesn't hurt too much and they give you lots of meds to dull the pain... look on the bright side, now you'll have plenty of time to make more o&a photoshops:icon_mrgr

[TeenBungle]

take care of yourself and make sure you rest well after your surgery. i hope it all goes well

[Halo Five]

Good Luck Mister...

[patbattlefield]

be well, sir.

[martianvirus]

Good luck. The recovery is the worst. I had a major surgery early last year and it sucked.

[Begbie]

Oh man no! We gotta get you out of there, they'll kill you in there. My friend Bob Sacamano, he came in here for a hernia operation, now he's sitting by a window on a chair going...my name is Bob!

[N.Y. Johnny]

I'm a young buck too with an odd case of Diverticulitis I hear ya Cigars, hang tough and recover man. Get really oiled with the pain meds, some of those pain killers can be so great.

[Buster H]

hurry back man!

[KneeKnee]

Pleasure for me to be one of the last people to see CnS alive.

Good luck, bro. I hope heaven is filled with pool tables and no children's toys scattered about.

[Hudson]

May I be the first to say.....Good Luck Bro!!!:action-sm

Apparently not

But my father had the same procedure done...and the recovery was a bit painfull. But he had cancer and they took out about a foot. and he took a good 4 weeks to recover...he was 63.
Speedy recovery, and thoughts and prayers.

[JamesDamit]

I wish you and your asshole Godspeed.

[girthymac]

C & S, I wish you well......

[Papagolash]

Best of luck man!

[Hoo Hoo Howie]

All the best C&S.

[SurlyTruckDrivr]

good luck sir

[mendozathejew]

good luck man.............thoughts and prayers

[Radioguy]

I hope they give you enough drugs to keep you under. They didn't for me when I had a simultaneous esophagogastroduodenoscopy and colonoscopy, and I woke up while essentially being double-teamed from both ends. A horrific experience on many levels.

No homo.

[Rob]

good luck fella...

[kingrat]

best of luck!

[Tennessee Jed]

that's terrible, i'm sorry.
get well soon.

[Deadhead]

I hope they fix your guts. Good luck.

Thoughts and prayers. thoughts and prayers

[cigarsandscotch]

Let me get the following out of the way now:

1) Rectum? Damn near killed him!
2) In retrospect, lighting the match was a bad idea.

[Ballbuster1]

Good luck, C&S. Get back here asap.

[J. PETERSON]

Thoughts & prayers buddy, thoughts & prayers

[prozac]

Hey buddy...I know your a big fan of the show and I hope it all works out and it's not painful for you and your wife is not too stressed. Keep us updated.

[BigWilly]

Thoughts and prayers, C&S. Get that poop maker fixed.

[Ted the Poster]

Good luck, C&S!
Look on the bright side; disability pay is 2/3 of normal, but it's not taxable, so you still take home about what you do already.
Trust me - my ex was on it a LOT. :action-sm

[blotto98]

People with diverticulitis often perforate (bowel gets a hole in it) and you become septic (shit and bacteria get into your peritoneum). This leads to colostomies and sometimes death.

(sunglasses) What a shitty way to die....

AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[NORTONnFRIENDS]

Can we get a pal talk camera in there? Clear it sir get it done. lol Good luck sir.

[fandango86]

Good Luck, Bro

[d0uche_n0zzle]

Godspeed on your recovery.

[MJMANDALAY]

Good Luck
Come Back Soon and Safe

[dodisman]

good luck man

[ChoppedLiver]

Hope all turns out well for you, C&S.

[IWanGoHome]

You're gonna be just fine, don't worry. I have a girlfriend who had the same thing done, for pretty much the same reason, and she was so much better afterwards.

You'll be back to making us laugh with photoshops before you know it!

[Dr. Hoffman]

Good luck bro!

[wackbagette]

Good luck sweetie...thoughts will be with ya. Remember you can always have fun pinching the ass of Filipino nurses while you're in the hospital. Too bad the Jamaican nurses will be off for the holiday :)

Anyway, we hope that everything comes out all right in the end. You won't be the butt of too many jokes...of course it's a bummer that you'll be in arrears posting your wonderful photoshops/animations but we know that in your gut you're still thinking of us even if you're behind :)

Hugs and best of luck for a quick recovery!

[Dr. Hoffman]

These will be waiting for you when you get back.

http://www.cigars-of-cuba.com/secure/grx/cohiba.jpg

[DeLLBerto]

Good luck.

[HummerTuesdays]

Thoughts & prayers for a speedy recovery.

[MondoTopless]

good luck

i expect to see a full report in the form of an animated gif in the photoshop forum :action-sm

[JAFO in Maine]

C&S best wishes and will be looking foward to seeing you back on.

[Reaper G]

Best of luck, C&S. Hope to see you back here with your awesome Photoshops soon.

Good luck bro, thoughts and prayers, and all those other catchphrases.

[Rumrunner]

Love the witty responses to your post, can't think of anything original, so good luck! Hope the recovery goes fast and Cigars Jr. goes easy on you.

[Jimmy's Dignity]

Good luck man...I hope you enjoy that first solid pain-free shit soon
look at it this way, you get to own the Photoshop threads :icon_mrgr

here's an early get well gift....

http://www.singlemaltsdirect.com/acatalog/oban_14_b.jpg

try to stop licking the screen

[Lil'GlubGlub]

good luck cigars.

I had laproscopic surgery done a couple of yrs ago. a good tip for you. after the surgery, if you have to cough, take a pillow and hold it against your stomach. it will help ease the pain.


also when the nurse has to shave you down, i hear for a fiver they will shave your balls too.

[hoo cares]

I got Tuesday in the death pool. Don't let me down, ya bastahd.

Seriously....Get more gooder soonest

[Palerider4146]

Hey cigars good luck. Where you having your surgery at. I just had my gallbladder out on Saturday at Riverview.

[krispykreme]

Good luck. We'll miss your photoshops while your out. Hope it all comes out ok.

[Chin nuts]

Good Luck!! Enjoy those meds, make sure they hook you up with the good stuff.

[Stalker Patti]

get better, C@S

[DoughBoy]

Would it be bad to hope you have to shit in a bag for a week or two just for making me read that two toned thread?

[ezstevey]

Hope all goes well C&S...Fllllrrrunkis

[Arch Stanton]

Follow the advice of the Doctors and get well soon.

[WonkaVision]

Good luck bro

[Cybouncer]

Good luck.

I hope your asshole doesn't fall out.

[CM Mark]

Best of luck sir.

[DREW]

dont u die on me fucker, dont u die

[SonnyForelli]

Ouch, man I suffer from the same thing and I am only 40. Diverticulitus sucks!. After being diagnosed, almost a year now I have elected to just try watching what I eat. Problem is that diet doesnt allways work because some doctors dissagree with the seed theory. My attacks are becomming more frequent and I am afraid to say, I will be getting the same opperation done soon. When I have flair ups I usually can suside the pain by going to the bathroom and take pisses , as little as goes out, it still releives me a bit. I am still not at the stage of pain where its putting me in a featal posision but they are gonna come , I can sence it

Good luck bro and r5eply back to me personally, I would like to know how the recovery stage is like

[cokelogic]

Good luck bro.

At least you have an easy name to pronounce in case you die on the table.
RIP, Shilopistists...:action-sm

Okay, that joke was in bad taste, but I thought enough time has passed..


You'll be fine. Best of luck.

You'll go from :) to :icon_bigg

[Norton's Hog]

Good luck buddy.
And get back to 100 percent soon, you don't want to have change your screen name to Cigars and Green tea!

Seriously, all my best wishes for ya bro.

[Hoagie]

Wow, good luck. Hope your pooper makes it through unscathed.

[lil chung]

Best wishes to you C&S!

[DoughBoy]

Hope all is well, man. Hopefully you'll be able to update us.

[Drunk Stepdad]

Why? Nah, no cancer....thank God. Over the past 5 years I have had diverticulitis 5 or 6 times. It is rare for a guy in his early 30's to have it, but when they do it tends to flare up aggressively. Some people are just predispositioned towards it for no particular reason.

Don't know ya, don't post here much, but man, I feel for you big time, but not in a gay way. I had nasty case of diverticulitis about 3 years ago (I was 30 at the time)that sent me to the hospital. I've been mostly good since then, still eat hot foods, but still have issues from time to time. I just try to stuff myself with fiber, and that helps.

Good luck man.. same to you SonnyForelli...

Drunk Stpedad...

[boodadude]

Everything will be fine. I had to do that thing where they scope your belly I remember nothing and left as happy as a puppy that just pissed on the indian rug. Good luck

[buffcomic]

Good luck bro...Thoughts and prayers...

[mightymalachi]

Damn C&S. Get well soon. We hope to see you back posting and contributing.

[tstlkevanilla]

Good luck dude!

[wes mantooth]

I will be having a portion of my sigmoid colon removed.

Good Luck to you and your sigmoid.

http://www.webpak.net/~drmeier/categories/dailyLife/ColonoscopyCard_Small.jpg

[Newmania]

Hurry back buddy.

[beaver hunt]

God speed.

[cigarsandscotch]

Would it be bad to hope you have to shit in a bag for a week or two just for making me read that two toned thread?

If I need one because of this post, I will make the best of it by ringing your doorbell and lighting the bag on fire on a daily basis.
http://static.flickr.com/54/143017592_7b48e4e3ce_m.jpg
You shit on my house man!

[NuttyJim]

Good Luck Mister! Get Well Soon!

[NorfCal]

Best of luck C&S!

And that was a very poignant way to tell us all that you are having part of your asshole ripped out. :icon_mrgr

[HumpX]

so essentially you are getting it done to mitigate the 10 day alcohol rule. I like that! :icon_mrgr

good luck. Try to stay comfortable. :action-sm

[cigarsandscotch]

I'm gonna be OkaaaAaaay, I'm gonna be okaaaAaaay!
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/020816/164833__dogs_l.jpg

[Bunny™]

Congrats.... Lets drink!

[Jimmy's Junk]

Thoughts and prayers my friend. Hope all goes well. I look forward to your first post back.

[click]

Hope all goes well sir. You can still smoke cigars after, right?

[GLENN_THE_TOOL]

take luck and care, sir.

[ChoppedLiver]

http://www.upmccancercenters.com/pdq_xml/media/CDR0000415503.jpg

[FAZ8218]

Feel better C&S, you'll definitely come out just fine. Good luck buddy.

[snail trails]

hope you get better c/s

[The Duch]

Get better buddy!

[JSHAW]

take the pain, take the pain
Godspeed

[Fruit Monkey]

Holy shit, Get Well soon. If the wackbaggers can help say the word.

[FatassTitePants]

So I don't get to enjoy your photoshops for a few days now? Well this just sucks....For both of us

Don't you go dying on me:xyxthumbs

[generoso]

Make sure you take pictures during the procedure for you photoshops. C&S. take luck, good luck bro, and all that corney stuff. Cya in a few days.

[Aizazzle]

You'll be fine. A young buck like yourself. Why do you think the good lord, in his infinite wisdom, gave people so many feet of colon.
Best of luck. Get better real soon and let us know how you're doing.

Did you forget you were white ???:icon_mrgr

Hope you get better C&S keep us updated

[LilChester]

It's much better to do a preemptive maneuver like you are doing. Hang in there.

[Radioguy]

Did you forget you were white ???:icon_mrgr

Hope you get better C&S keep us updated

I refuse to believe that was Ant. Had to be AcksGrl using his account...had to be. :icon_wink

[jules]

good luck man

[BigBuffaloFan]

Good Luck C&S

[cigarsandscotch]

You'll be fine. A young buck like yourself. Why do you think the good lord, in his infinite wisdom, gave people so many feet of colon.
Best of luck. Get better real soon and let us know how you're doing.

I guess I'm going to have a semi-colon now. Hmph ur hrrumphhh.
http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/978/patcrashvh6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Budyzir]

good luck and get well soon buddy!

[Maynard K]

I guess I'm going to have a semi-colon now. Hmph ur hrrumphhh.


Nice to see you havn't lost your sense of humor!

You'll be fine, heal up real quick, these surgerys can be a real pain in the ass! Ho HO! (((wacky horn)))


Gahbless

[BCH]

Wait, did you just claim to be in your early 30's?

Love ya man!

[cigarsandscotch]

Charlie! They took my colon!
http://img473.imageshack.us/img473/4288/charlieen8.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
(if you don't get it, watch "The Pope of Greenwich Village" and shame on you for never having watched it before)

[DREW]

Charlie! They took my colon!
http://img473.imageshack.us/img473/4288/charlieen8.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
(if you don't get it, watch "The Pope of Greenwich Village" and shame on you for never having watched it before)


U can act like a man (slap) , what's a matter with u!:icon_evil

[DREW]

Charlie! They took my colon!
http://img473.imageshack.us/img473/4288/charlieen8.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
(if you don't get it, watch "The Pope of Greenwich Village" and shame on you for never having watched it before)


Is that Erik Roberts? the most underrated D actor ever

[me in canada]

I will most likely not be posting for a week or so since I am having surgery on Monday. I will be having a portion of my sigmoid colon removed. I'll be having it done laparoscopically so that I will recover quicker.

P.S. ladies (even though I am married and my wife is too uptight to let me fuck any off you anyway, otherwise I would so do you, especially because I know you are into me and want it in the worst way from a guy that smells like...well, cigars and scotch), it doesn't involve a colostomy, so I am still totally fuckable. They just make (3) 2" incisions, pull the bowel through it, snip it, re-attach it and stuff it back in.


Why? Nah, no cancer....thank God. Over the past 5 years I have had diverticulitis 5 or 6 times. It is rare for a guy in his early 30's to have it, but when they do it tends to flare up aggressively. Some people are just predispositioned towards it for no particular reason. Many people develop tiny outpouches on their large intestine (diverticulOSIS) and are a-symptomatic. Other schmucks like me have instances when those little pockets get inflammed (DiverticulITIS) Lucky me. They advise you not to eat any seeds, nuts or corn, (which I haven't been!) to lessen the risk of diverticulitis, but it is only a theory. Nothing sucks worse than being Italian and not eating semolina bread with seeds or pignoli cookies. Shit, I even avoid fucking eggplant at this point because of the seeds.

What does it feel like? When you are in a state of diverticulits you get those cramps in your intestine like you are about to shit Guiness beer, but nothing happens. There is no diarrhea or relief, just miserable, cramping pain...until you start taking antibiotics (Flagyll and Levaquin..sometimes Cipro) and it begins to subside. The thing that really sucks about that is you are unable to drink alcohol for 10 days on account of the meds (especailly the Flagyll, that will get you VERY sick).


So, I have decided to follow doctor's advice and have this surgery electively. It is definitely the right move. People with diverticulitis often perforate (bowel gets a hole in it) and you become septic (shit and bacteria get into your peritoneum). This leads to colostomies and sometimes death. I've done enough Catscans on patients to see what I don't want to happen to me.

Anyhow, this isn't a feel sorry for Cigars&scotch thread, I should bounce back in no time....unless I die on the table or have develop some horrible complication and mysteriously stop posting. I'm not sure if the hospital has internet access. If it does I'll post and definitely cam up in the hospital bed, otherwise I will be back in 3-4 days after surgery when I am expected to be released.

It is going to be tough managing Cigars JR. as I am not supposed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for 6 weeks. This also means that I get to go on disability for 6 wks. 2/3 pay sucks, but it is still 6 weeks off from work. My wife will be working from home for 3 days during the work week and my mother will help out the other 2 to keep junior from cannonballing into my healing gut. Well, wish me a "good luck bro" and I'll be back soon.

good luck
thats just shitty wawawa

[Dickieboy]

Good Luck man ....take a shit on the ta ble for me .

[Sinn Fein]

Good luck man.

[ChimneyFish]

Best of luck, C&S.

[KevSlider]

Good Luck man, get well quick so we can laugh at your 1-liners.

[EllisLub]

Good Luck Bro!

[Ren5150]

Good luck with your busted shitter. Tape it and then make a silly photoshop out of it later. Like Jimmy's head popping in and out of your anus. Tee Hee

[Clocktower]

My dad had some ass-surgery a couple months back too. It's not bad after the first 5 days. When you shit, the heat will irritate, but if you have good painkillers, it will be mostly tolerable.

Good luck. Post pre and post op pics if you have them.

[mayor menino]

cigars, i just had 19 inches taken from my sigmoid because of diverticulitis on 12/8. i also had it done lapriscopically. one month later, plumbing works fantastic. i had, and still have, some post-op infections, though. right now i have something called epididymitis, which is an infection of the nutsack. everytime i move, it feels like someone is punching me in the balls.

[BigRed2006]

Good luck bro...

[Deadhead]

God, I'm starving Earl! We got any chitlins back there?

[Turtle]

Best wishes, and get well soon.

Will you be getting a sponge bath in the hospital with a happy ending?

[ChoppedLiver]

God, I'm starving Earl! We got any chitlins back there?

Just ran out.... But C&S is bringing some.

[Clit Commander]

Well good luck bro. My uncle is a pharmacist and he always advised people who thought they were developing diverticulitis to drink the equivalent of a poland spring sports bottle every hour to an hour and a half. Just down the entire thing. Sometimes that is enough to jar loose whatever is in your intestine so it doesn't get caught in that pocket and start to inflame the intestine.

[IsThatATrain ?]

Hey C & S,

They video every operation they perform nowadays...and with your connections, you should be able to obtain a copy. Should make for some great photoshops...

Good luck, be well

[Hoagie]

You really might wanna think about that colostomy though. Think about it...you never have to walk to the bowl and you don't have to bother wiping. Plus you have a really great thing to throw at other asshole drivers in your car.

[zagman76]

Take Luck Human! :action-sm

You'll pull through - at least you will be able to get drunker on less alcohol afterwards! More scotch to savor!

[Tax Kuntz]

Are we having colon soup for dinner?

[mikepop]

Perhaps O and A can have Steven Lynches Hamster song played in your honor.

[Franky5Angels]

Jesus, I didn't even know he was sick!:icon_frow

[cigarsandscotch]

cigars, i just had 19 inches taken from my sigmoid because of diverticulitis on 12/8.
Holy shit! That's a lot. They aren't taking nearly that much from me. I think they are just snipping 5-6 inches of it. They only need to remove the distal portion to prevent diverticulits...even if you have it throughout your large intestine. Did you have to have it done emergently? I'm getting cut at 7:30 AM tomorrow...why am I asking questions that I'm not going to see the answer to until I get discharged?

Anyway, look on the brightside Mr. Menino, it's better to have someone take 19 inches off your colon than put 19 inches in it.

[CM Mark]

C+S, best of wishes for tomorrow. All will go well. You will be in all of our minds and hearts. (No Homo)

[cigarsandscotch]

Jesus, I didn't even know he was sick!:icon_frow
I'm really not, it's more of a preventitive thing. It's the surgical equivalent of taking out fire insurance when you live next door to a pyromaniac.

Well, I'll be punching out for a few days....goddamn hospital doesn't have internet access. I'm scheduled for 1st thing in the morning. While you are having your coffee I'll be having some anesthesia, but by the time you are having your mushy sandwich, I'll be high on morphine.

P.S. If I don't post within a week I probably died. Don't send flowers, just have a few shots and tease some retarded people in my name. It's what I would've wanted.:action-sm

[westben2002]

good luck C&S

hope you feel better buddy

[Schmed]

Yeh, my dad has this crap, no foods with seeds for you.

I have a friend in his early 40's with it too, not sure if it is diverticulitis or diverticulosis (more severe ?).

Take a nice, loose, creamy dump for me when you get out.

[mayor menino]

once you get it cut out, there are no more dietary restrictions since, at least in my case, they cut the diverticula out completely. diverticulitis is the infectioin of a condition known as diverticulosis. and in my case, i'm on my way back to the hospital for a about a week to get iv antibiotics for a post-op infection to my poor balls. i am in total agony right now. i had so many urinary tract infections as a result of the surgery that it settled in my balls. i'm 40 years old and i feel like i'm 80.
and p.s., your dumps are creamy for about 3 weeks after surgery, then they get nice.

[del griffith]

change your name to cigars and vicadan. good luck cigars.

[Maynard K]

Hope all went well today C&S, your in our thoughts AND prayers.

[Rumrunner]

Talked to Mrs. C&S (cigarettes and seltzer?) today, he's in recovery, sounds like they took awhile to get the pain meds though, poor guy.

[Bunny™]

I cant wait for the animated photoshop of the procedure.

[mikepop]

C&S still alive- SPY REPORT
Thanks for the update.

[Rumrunner]

Thanks for the update.
anytime, hope he gets out soon, looks like Wed or Thu.

[SteveFromBayshore]

Good luck, C&S! Just remember...if Vos was getting the same operation it would be considered brain surgery. mrff eh meh

HEIL CUMIA!

[weeniewawa]

....goddamn hospital doesn't have internet access. I'm scheduled for 1st thing in the morning.

If they just had free WIFI just think of all the new customers they could get:icon_mrgr

get well soon

[SonnyForelli]

Jesus Fucking Christ allready, go get your fucking ass hole removed so you can do a "post" post report and tell me how you feel because as I am writing this post I am going through a flair up myself and I am just trying to ingnor the fucken thing

[BenM]

Hope yur doing well cigars &, I just went through my first instance of that fuckin shit a couple months ago. I was in the hospital for 4 days untill they sprung me....hopefully no surgery for me in the near future. I hear you about the semolina bread...the kid still brings it home and I just have to look at it

[Rumrunner]

C&S to be discharged tomorrow morning. Look forward to his recap, sounds like he had a shitty roommate.

I hope you don't mind me giving these unauthorized spy reports c&S, but you are a loved celebrity here, so I felt compelled to contribute. Hope your recovery at home continues to go well. :action-sm

[HummerTuesdays]

C&S to be discharged tomorrow morning. Look forward to his recap, sounds like he had a shitty roommate.

Wocka wocka! :icon_mrgr

Thanks for the updates. I've been hoping his recovery is going well.

[Hugh Jorgan]

Miss Cigars and Scotch. He was the best.

[WOWmagnet]

I miss Whole-Colon Cigars and Scotch.

[cigarsandscotch]

Well I'm back home. I got discharged around 10Am. Thank you Rumrunner for the updates and watching cigars Jr the other night. I had no internet access, really shitty radio reception and no XM signal in the hospital. I'm glad I brought some dvds.

The surgery went very well with no complications. The first day (Mon) after surgery I was miserable. I couldn't bend an inch or even shift to turn left or right. I have a high tolerance for pain meds and the RNs are so friggin slow to bring you anything anyway. Not only that, I realized I had a foley catheter in me....AHHH! Day one sucked!

Tues morning they removed the foley.....ouch and got me up out of bed and shuffling around. It hurt like hell to get up. It literally took me about 45 seconds to a full minute to swing my legs over the bed and stand for the first time. After that, every time was a little easier. They also took away my pain med pump and started me on pain pills as needed. My bladder was slow to wake up. They told me if I didn't piss by 4PM they would have to reinsert the foley catheter. Luckily at 3:30 with little time to spare I "tinkled" tee hee.

Weds I was in less pain and moving around much better. They started me on solid foods and told me I could be discharged as soon as I passed gas. It's weird, hospitals are the only place where women root for you to fart. Unfortunatley I didn't blast one until after 9:30 last night, so I had to wait until today to get signed out. It wasn't even a blast. It was more of a whimpering pfffffft. Talk about a lackluster finale.

Overall, everything went pretty smooth, but if I could go back in time, I would've paid extra money out of pocket to get a private room. I had to share mine with some black dude. Not to be racist, but black guys make "black guy noises" all day and all night long. You know the noises, they sound like Ummmph, hmmmmmmmm and the ever popular umm umm ummmmm. Every time this guy would take a sip of his soup I would hear loud slurping noises followed by a Mmmmmph. Every sip of juice was punctuated by an Ahhhhhh. I felt like I was sharing the room with Donkey from Shrek! Not only that, but he also had GI issues of his own so he was constantly blasting loud farts and then moaning and making black guy noises It sounded something like this: "**Faaaaaaart** Ahh, oh man, ** FARRRRRRRRRT** Umph, damn!, **FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART** um oh ummmmmmph." Everytime a nurse would ask me if I passed any gas yet I would say "I wish. I would love to answer his farts with some of my own"

I would also hear him teaching the bathroom a lesson (as Opie would state it) several times a day . Thank god I didn't need to shit in the hosital. I couldn't build a big enough nest out of paper towels to sit on that seat after him. As it was, I was taking rubber gloves out of the nurses supply to touch the door knob and light switch. He also watched black tv shows 24/7 really loud.... that Bernie Mac UPN 9 shit. Wow was it ever annoying.
All I can say is that it is good to be home! Thank you everyone for all of the kind words.

[ChoppedLiver]

:clap: :clap: :action-sm

Heal well, sir.

[JimsInfectedEye]

http://www.tvsquad.com/media/2006/05/House.jpg

"If you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell."

[Motor Head]

Colostomy bags are underrated, can you think of the fun you could have if your banging some broad doggystyle and you pretend your cumming and empty the bag onto her back. You just have to hope her hand goes back and scoops some up, before the smell hits her for a double funny.

Just a theory.

[bill333]

Glad to hear that you and your pooper and home and doing well.

Did you get the urge to put the pillow case over your head and wake him up in the middle of the night? :action-sm

[DREW]

Wellcome back CS, photoshop thread was dead without u, hope u shit straight now

[CM Mark]

Welcome back budday!

[cigarsandscotch]

Did you get the urge to put the pillow case over your head and wake him up in the middle of the night? :action-sm
That is hilarious...
Wake up, its time for your medicine!
http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e380/amityvillehighschool/klansman.jpg

[cigarsandscotch]

Colostomy bags are underrated, can you think of the fun you could have if your banging some broad doggystyle and you pretend your cumming and empty the bag onto her back. You just have to hope her hand goes back and scoops some up, before the smell hits her for a double funny.

Just a theory.

If I had one I would probably just use it to hold my wallet and keys. It seems like it would be a convenient place.

[Bunny™]

Welcome back, Shitlegs.

[DeLLBerto]

Welcome back.

[Johnny Cakes]

You know the noises, they sound like Ummmph, hmmmmmmmm and the ever popular umm umm ummmmm.


I laughed my ass off (*sorry*) at that.


Glad you feel better!

[Norton's Hog]

Good to see you back CS.
Now enjoy the happy pills...(Vicodin makes Photoshopping more gooder.):icon_mrgr

[generoso]

Welcome back C&S...I miss full colon C&S...

[Hoo Hoo Howie]

Glad to hear you're back and in good shape dude. How long until ya think you can give us a "First Shit" update? Wonder what that's going to be like. It's disgusting but I'm still curious.

[cigarsandscotch]

Glad to hear you're back and in good shape dude. How long until ya think you can give us a "First Shit" update? Wonder what that's going to be like. It's disgusting but I'm still curious.
it should be any day now.

[Shipwreck]

I'm Starving. Any Sunflower seeds or peanuts around?
Glad you are OK C and S. Enjoy your stuff )no homo(

[cigarsandscotch]

Here's the color shots they gave me after surgery.
http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/914/mysurgeryfl8.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Ballbuster1]

Gee, thanks for the pics....:puke:

Glad you're ok though.

[Deadhead]

Welcome back, C&S!

Enjoy'em while ya got 'em.

Yeah!!!! More Photoshops!

[JimsInfectedEye]

Looks like you got one of them there abortions.

[cigarsandscotch]

The freaky thing is that was done through a 3 inch incision. The skin around it is sore as hell from getting stretched by the retractors.

[FAZ8218]

Gee, thanks for the pics....:puke:

Glad you're ok though.
What he said. :icon_eek:

[Jimmy's Dignity]

.....The skin around it is sore as hell from getting stretched by the retractors.
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f168/klyse31/FAGGIT.jpg:action-sm



We missed you while you were gone. I got you a present though!








http://www.sierranuthouse.com/images/SunflowerSeeds,JumboRoastedSaltedInShell.jpg:icon_ mrgr

[Wilmington WOW]

thoughts and prayers
glad you're feeling better

[cokelogic]

Here's the color shots they gave me after surgery.
http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/914/mysurgeryfl8.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

I can see the helmet marks from all the giant cocks in these photos.:action-sm
Kidding, kidding. So good to hear you're doing well C&S.

[thelord68]

The first shits after no solids (ruptured appendix/peritonitis) for few weeks was just some clear gel-like stuff. If you're not eating much, there isn't really anything to crap out. It took a while before I was back to good ol' logs.

[cigarsandscotch]

The first shits after no solids (ruptured appendix/peritonitis) for few weeks was just some clear gel-like stuff. If you're not eating much, there isn't really anything to crap out. It took a while before I was back to good ol' logs.
I lucked out. I had my first shit post op this afternoon. It was pretty much normal. I think everything was easier for me since I never perforated or had any complications. I've been eating regular since Wednesday.

[Redding]

Welcome back Cigars and Scotch and congrats on your first shit....may your dumps be brown and solid in the future.

[Budyzir]

Good to hear all is well and congrats on the first poo poo!

[SonnyForelli]

So, When will you be able to go back to work?

[cigarsandscotch]

So, When will you be able to go back to work?
4-6 weeks, since I need to be able to lift patients from the stretcher to the cat scan table. If I don't let the abdominal wall heal fully, I run the risk of a hernia.

[EllisLub]

4-6 weeks, since I need to be able to lift patients from the stretcher to the cat scan table. If I don't let the abdominal wall heal fully, I run the risk of a hernia.

Dude, I had stomach surgery several years ago (Gastric-Bypass) and as expected I got a hernia. The recovery from that hernia was worse than the original surgery. I couldn't even think about sitting up without percoset in my system. Take it easy and let that stuff heal properly! I can't wait to see your best photoshops!

Thanks,
Ellis