Three Hole Puncher
03-16-2007, 10:27 AM
This just oozed out of my memory gland...
I'm a kid, like ten years old, and my parents decide to take the family on a road trip summer vacation to Cape Cod. So we load up the Family Truckster station wagon with the imitation wood grain side paneling and the flip-up tailgunner seat, and off we go. Long story short... we end up in Provincetown... way the hell out on the tip of the Cape.
So my Dad parks the car and we all pile out. We're walking towards town and we start hearing music and cheering... some sort of festivities are taking place. As we get closer we see people lining the street and over their heads we see some sort of float moving slowly down the street. My Mom says, "Oh, a parade! I love parades!"
Keep in mind... my parents are clueless... anybody who knows Provincetown will be grinning right about now, because you can imagine what's coming.
So we push through the crowd and here is the scene...
There's a big parade float... a truck pulling a long flatbed wagon sort of thing, on the flatbed there are like six seriously gay dudes, down on all fours, wearing black leather thongs and sheep masks. They're baaaing like sheep and they're all wearing dog collars and leashes. Holding the leashes is this one utter fruitcake... he's wearing a thong, stilettos with four inch heels, a Little Bo Peep bonnet, and he's holding one of those shepard's crook stick things.
But the gaiety going on back on the flatbed wagon is nothing compared to the shenanigans that are taking place up on the truck that's pulling it...
They've got this one fag... the faggiest fag who ever fagged a fag... they've got the dude tied ass up across the hood of the truck. He's wearing nothing but a thong and they've got a bullseye painted on his ass... an ass which is covered in angry red welts from being pelted with water balloons (later in life, I realized they were rubbers). The flamers in the crowd are hooting and hollering as they wind up and fire balloons at the guys ass... having themselves a regular hootenanny.
As you can imagine, my mother is absolutely horrified, and me and my brother are rolling on the ground helpless with hysterical laughter. My Mom snatched us up by our ears and dragged us to back to the car.
It was a loooooong, quiet ride home... the silence shattered every so often as me or my brother burst out in gales of laughter and my Mother screamed at us to shut up.
Ahhhh... good times. :icon_lol:
I'm a kid, like ten years old, and my parents decide to take the family on a road trip summer vacation to Cape Cod. So we load up the Family Truckster station wagon with the imitation wood grain side paneling and the flip-up tailgunner seat, and off we go. Long story short... we end up in Provincetown... way the hell out on the tip of the Cape.
So my Dad parks the car and we all pile out. We're walking towards town and we start hearing music and cheering... some sort of festivities are taking place. As we get closer we see people lining the street and over their heads we see some sort of float moving slowly down the street. My Mom says, "Oh, a parade! I love parades!"
Keep in mind... my parents are clueless... anybody who knows Provincetown will be grinning right about now, because you can imagine what's coming.
So we push through the crowd and here is the scene...
There's a big parade float... a truck pulling a long flatbed wagon sort of thing, on the flatbed there are like six seriously gay dudes, down on all fours, wearing black leather thongs and sheep masks. They're baaaing like sheep and they're all wearing dog collars and leashes. Holding the leashes is this one utter fruitcake... he's wearing a thong, stilettos with four inch heels, a Little Bo Peep bonnet, and he's holding one of those shepard's crook stick things.
But the gaiety going on back on the flatbed wagon is nothing compared to the shenanigans that are taking place up on the truck that's pulling it...
They've got this one fag... the faggiest fag who ever fagged a fag... they've got the dude tied ass up across the hood of the truck. He's wearing nothing but a thong and they've got a bullseye painted on his ass... an ass which is covered in angry red welts from being pelted with water balloons (later in life, I realized they were rubbers). The flamers in the crowd are hooting and hollering as they wind up and fire balloons at the guys ass... having themselves a regular hootenanny.
As you can imagine, my mother is absolutely horrified, and me and my brother are rolling on the ground helpless with hysterical laughter. My Mom snatched us up by our ears and dragged us to back to the car.
It was a loooooong, quiet ride home... the silence shattered every so often as me or my brother burst out in gales of laughter and my Mother screamed at us to shut up.
Ahhhh... good times. :icon_lol: