A Personal Question!

[ChewDown]

So I have a question. About the "C" word. Not that one, the Cancer one.
I figured I would come here for many reasons. I have alot of fun interacting with you guys, but now I am asking some questions because cancer has effect just about every family.

My husband was diagnosed with Cancer in Late February. It has been extremely difficult. He has esophageal cancer. We have done a lot thus far, but I feel like the time is just clicking away and I have no control over the situation. He had chemo and radiation last week, now he is in the hospital, and has been for 8 days....

Has anyone or have you know anyone with esopphageal cancer?

Thanks for any assistance
Kimmie

[SOS]

The best thing to do is find your friends and don't tell them about it so it does not bring them down as well. Get involved with work and your social life more. Take him on a vacation to Great Adventure, Hersey Park, or Disney if he is up to it; something to get away from the numerous doctors for a while. Accept the fact that they had a good life and everyone will go someday. Get a mammal that has higher cognitive abilities but without high upkeep like a cat or rabbit. You have to make time for yourself or else you will get rundown and sick as well.

[Valk]

Never knew anyone with that particiliar kind but my mother has beaten cancer 3 times. Get different opinions and keep stress to a minimun (for him). Those 2 things along with a positive outlook will go along ways.

[Radioguy]

I have pretty bad acid reflux disease, and my doc has brought this up a couple of times when I say I haven't been so adherent with the medication. Puts a scare into me every time. :(

I hope everything works out for you and your hubby.

[ChewDown]

I actually was laid off in July of last year...so putting my mind on work would have been nice to do. However because I dont work at the moment I have been able to dedicate all my time to his care. The first few weeks were scans, and scopes, xrays, etc... Each brought worse news.

I had thought of taking him away for abit, but things got bad quick. It feels like as soon as we found out things started to go south. I spend each day dedicated to his care and my 5 year old daughter. He has been in the hospital for over a week and doesnt look like he will be home anytime soon.

His 17 year old son is having a rough time as well. It is so difficult talking care of everyone and not allowing yourself the time to take it all in. It just sucks.

This whole thing could have been avoided if his acid reflex was handled correctly, thats what kills me the most. So please, if any off you find yourself living on tums or pilosac, go get checked. My husbands didnt feel anything until the tumor was so large and it had spread. Now we are in the fight of our lives.

There is so much going on, but not a whole lot of data or advocates to help you know about which meds for pain, increase WBC, which will lower your temp but not hurt your kidneys....

I have to say though the show does help! We have little to smile about. I put his myfi on him though and he gives a grin now and then. Its the only escape to what I fear is to come.

It just sucks, all of it. I have sold most everything we have worked for except the house. That will come soon. We are going broke. My daughter is watching this whole thing because we have no family here in the south. because his blood cell levels are down its masks and gloves....

My husband deserves more, and I have a hard time believing in prayer at this moment.

[ChewDown]

Back in 97 I was put on prilosac. My husband at the time was a cop and always working and stressed, but he ate tums like candy. I use to slip him my prilosac to get his acid under contol. Nexum is the absolute best I think, but the doctors recently told us to just use Prilosac OTC... I double the dose now to equal the prescription strength.. but what the hell.. I complained to his doctors about his stomach since 97 and nothing was really done. I should have but my foot up their asses and made something happen...

Get the acid reflex under control now.... like I said you wont get any warning with this type of cancer. My husband on valentines day came home from a business trip unable to swallow. That was because the tumor was 5cm across his throat...

[Radioguy]

Jesus....I was really hoping there was another cause for his cancer, not this. :(

I take Aciphex, not Prilosec, mainly due to the lesser side affects. That is something I had my doc compromise on, but if it gets worse though, they want to move me up to something stronger than Prilosec. (Forget the name now, though. Some kind of proton pump inhibitor)

I think I'm gonna be up all night now.

[Radioguy]

Oops...Double post.

Well, since it's here, it's not Prevacid, or Nexium, but stronger. Can't remember the name, but I suppose his doc must know.

[ShavedLebaneseBear]

Hi.
Cancer has been a big part of my life for the last few years, so I am well versed in what you are going through. My GF of 14 years was diagnosed with BC about 3 years ago (age 28). She did surgery, chemo and rads. She is OK now, but when all you can do is sit there an watch this happen to someone you care about, it will drive you crazy. I felt powerless while she was going through it all. When she gets her yearly scan to check for recurrence, I lose my mind for a bit. The old feelings come up and I start having anxiety attacks again. It is very hard to just watch it happen. It almost seems like it would be easier if it was happening to me because then I would have more control over the situation. I had regrets about not spending more time with her, and I always felt like the clock was ticking on her.

I can tell you that it will make your husband more anxious if you are freaking out. Try to keep it together if you can (I had to take a few Xanax to get me through). After he is OK, you can let him know that you were sweating it the whole time. Also, go with him to the doctors appointments and take notes for him. It will be hard for him to remember it all, and the chemo can make memories a bit fuzzy. The Internet can be good and bad in this situation...Research his type of cancer and his treatment options if you wish, but I would NOT recommend you obsess on it. I did, and it drove me nuts. It was just too much information at that time, and it did not make me feel better. Actually, it made me feel more anxious, because now I had survival statistics which can be scary.

As for esophageal cancer. I used to work with a guy who had it very bad. The cancer was actually wrapped aound his throat, not just a tumor. He did chemo and rads, and he is fine now. He was not expected to do too well, and he beat the odds. Beating cancer is becoming more common place now. It is not an automatic death sentence anymore.
Good luck. I wish you guys the best!

[cokelogic]

Keep hope. Keep him fighting. People do have a higher sucess rate to beat cancer when they stay positive and never give up. Take from that what you will, but remember what Brother Wease said: "Fuck Cancer".

I'm very sad to hear about your situation.

[ChewDown]

My parents last night are going to help us out and get my daughter daycare. She cant sit and watch her father anymore. Strong little kid though, I am very proud of her and the help she has been. However the long term effects I will have to wait and see.

I smile and act positive in front of my husband, I do have hope. On the way home from the hospital its a different story. Its a blame game on me; I should have caught this, I was angry at him for stupid shit, I bitched to much, yada yada.... The crying the pissed off with god.

I am on the way to the hospital now. Another day of reading charts and chasing nurses. DONT GET SICK IN THE SOUTH. I have to chase the nurses just to get a dressing changing. I have to pick my battles yet my husband needs constant care...

CANCER sucks. It seems like as soon as you know you have it, you start digging your own grave. Its hard for you to stay focused and positive thats for sure.

I have to thank the boys though again.... Without O&A (Jimmy too) there would be no funny in our lives. Well Southpark too... Thank you all that have contributed, each cancer case is different, you learn more from the people that have gone through cancer than you do from the doctors...

[thelord68]

My sister's mother-in-law was diagnosed with esophageal cancer about a year and half ago. She had been a smoker, and I have some suspicions she may have been bulimic. After surgery (they removed a large section and reconnected everything) and treatment, she is doing fine. She was in the hospital for a while because of an infection elsewhere in her body that the doctors where having a hard time tracking down, but the resected area was doing fine.

Once she was out of the hospital, the progress was pretty steady. Because the organs get a little cramped in the process, her breathing was shallower which made her voice softer. She was on solid food quickly, but the diet was restricted at first - bland, low-acid, etc. It just takes time for everything to heal and adjust. All of this got better.

When I saw her at this past Thanksgiving, she appeared to be back to 100% and if you ask her she will say she's at 90%. Either way, not bad in that period of time.

As with most cancers, the first 5 years after surgery treatment is critical. My mother had bladder cancer (laproscopic treatment) about 10 years ago, then breast cancer (lumpectomy). She came off of the last of her meds for the breast cancer a few months ago. She didn't let any of it stop her from doing anything, but she also asked questions and made sure she let the doctors know if something didn't feel right or was affecting her in way she didn't like. They switched or adjusted meds etc. My parents are in their 70's, play golf 3 or 4 times a week, travel a few times a year to anywhere in the world - Paris, Italy, Australia, Aruba, Fiji, Alaska - and that's just in the last couple of years. They go to Venice in a few weeks for a Mediterranean cruise. They are difficult to get hold of sometimes because they are always on the go.

The key thing is that treatments today are more successful and less severe today then they used to be. Advancements in surgical techniques and medications have improved odds and greatly improved quality of life after treatment. Just ask questions and don't take no for an answer, and make sure to get second opinions.

As other people have said, a positive attitude will go a long way. Think of this as a speed bump and not a roadblock.

[tstlkevanilla]

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. My mom recently lost her boyfriend to lymph node cancer. 8 months from beginning to end.

[Haeder]

Cancer sucks.

I'll offer two pieces of advice:

1-Try to stay positive around your husband.

2-Don't forget to take care of yourself too. I've seen too many people drive themselves into exhaustion trying to take care of someone else. Eat, sleep and get out every now and again. Trust the hospital staff to do their jobs while you are gone - even if they do piss you off sometimes.

And remember, there's a messageboard full of scumbags pulling for you and your husband.

[smurfett79]

Cancer is a tough one, you seriously will seek more information and help if you go threw some of the cancer msg boards. On here you are likely to find one or two or even more of those ones that will find some way to make you feel bad.

Cancer has taken stride threw my family in many ways.. my husbands step dad (only man he knew as a dad) was taken 10 yrs ago by cancer, my grandfather died from cancer, and i had many great aunts die from breast cancer. i would rather die from a car wreck than have to die suffering the way they did. Good luck threw these times.. and i do hope you find a place you can truely connect w/ people about this.

[smurfett79]

I'm not trying to be nonsympotheic i actualy am very sympotheic for you. I'm just saying there are many programs out there that have wonderfull "family" help online groups to help you and him cope threw these times. There are programs like Hospic and other orginizations that can give you more information.. good luck (sorry just wanted to make sure i didnt come accross sounding like a bitch earlier, after re-reading what i posted it sounded bad... i will keep u in my thoughts!

[Sinn Fein]

Wow... My father's best friend was just diagnosed with this type of cancer a few weeks ago. He juts went through his first course of chemo/radiation. They were going to do surgery, but then determined that wasn't feasible.

[ChewDown]

Please dont anyone feel bad about what they post.... I am so numb to things that I dont take things personally..

I am angry though.. I just dont except this... I cant gain any understanding.

[Radioguy]

I'm seeing my doc again tomorrow, and asking for a new ref to gastro. That's because of you.

Thanks. :)

[THE FEZ MAN]

my dad was diagnosed with multiable mioloma (bone marrow cancer) in september of 2002. he died janurary 18 2005.

beyond watching him die as his bones exploded from the inside out, i found the most disturbing thing was his total lack of acceptance of his illness, and his refusal to do every thing possable to correct it. instead of taking a proactive stance concerning his care he just let one doctor make all of his decidisons (a doctor that i hated) twords the end i forced him to change doctors to a freind of mine to help me be able to better care for him, basicaly give me all the drugs we needed to make him (confortable) to make every thing worse the cancer that he had was a direct result of his service in nam and exposure to agent orange. he REFUSED to go to the va and get paid for it, he was entitled to 3000$ a month as long as he lived and my mother gets 900$ a month since he died.

the entire experience has changed me. i ended up having to go to a shrink after his death, i wish i had gone before, i miss him so fucking much every time i think about it i cry (its one of the only things that brings any kind of emmotion up in me, other wise im a mean and nasty bastard)

[GonzoRadio]

My dad "beat" cancer last year (the kind he has, lymphoma, tends to come back, but he "beat" it for now)...

I'll tell you what I told him then. It sucks, but, if you're going to get cancer, having it now is better than having it 20, 10, hell even 5 years ago. They can't cure it yet, but the treatments of cancer are getting much better.

Personally, I also recommend a strict, healthy diet. I couldn't convince my dad to eat right (55 year old off the boat italian guy, so he lives to eat), but I firmly believe diet can help a lot. Chemo is VERY harsh on the body...being that he is, or will be full of toxins from treatments, why add more crap from food?

[ChewDown]

Sorta the same deal... The tumor was so large it needed radiation to shrink it. So the first day he recieved his first treatment of cisplatan and the fifafu was started on a 24hr 5 day drip..... Radiation was suppose to be 15-20 low doses...but the radiologist changed it to 5 high doses... I cant tell if he did the best or worst thng for my husband.

Let me know how your friend makes out . the dehydration and nausea has been incredibly difficult to control. In the begining I got "crash" courses in IV set up and administration of fluids. I will tell you if your friend hasnt gotten a porta cath he should... During this 10 day hospital stay, that port has been incredible. all your fluids and blood draws are done through this one site. It is easier and less painful for the patient.

[ShavedLebaneseBear]

Porta-Cath is definetely the way to go if many injections are going to be done. Make sure that they check it periodically. My GF's broke and the tubing from it was wadded up inside her heart. They had use an angioplasty grabber to retrieve it through a vein in her leg all the way up to her heart. This happens to about 5-10% of porta-cath users. It is pretty common, so watch it.

[ChewDown]

The port is changed weekly..but I have to double check the nurse reports daily... I cant believe the shit that the nursing staff pulls... I feel bad for anyone that doesnt have someone by their side at all times....

My husband gets pissy when I cause waves, but at the same time, if one drug works and another doesnt, you have to remind them...

His WBC count was up today... but the nausea is worse... home to let the dogs and children play for an hour..... then its back to the hospital...

Talk with you all later

[BJQueen]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are being a strong wife - keep up the good work. Though I haven't personally dealt with cancer in my family (knock on wood), I have known many that have - 2 of these cancer losses were children. Keeping your spirits up around your hubby is important right now. When you aren't around him, though, you SERIOUSLY need to try to take some time for yourself - being around friends is a definate plus cuz they can help comfort you in your "down times".

I hope all works out for you and your hubby.

[ChewDown]

Time for myself hasnt been an option....but I am ok with it. Between my daughter, dogs,, bills...etc. the time I spend outside the hospital is spent like credit on a credit card.

He will be discharged tomorrow ..yeah. One week of freedom before another round of chemo. I will be instructed on how to run and administer all three pumps from here.. I dont mind at all.

Thank you all for all your support and private emails... I havent had suffienct time to respnd to many of you...

some family and friends call and support as best they can from New England, and others... well... they treat you like they treat the sick in that movie "the island". Out of sight out of mind. I just wish it wasnt the sibblings I was closest too..

[TreeFortRichard]

stay strong, you're a saint. Don't even think for a second that this was somehow your fault, or that you could have prevented it. Live for today and cherish the smiles.

[Jef Leppard]

get as many opinions as possible. my mom was feeling bad in spring of 03, her dr. put her on effexor.....some doc huh? mom would tell me she still felt shitty but didnt care now. november 04 she was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer, she stayed strong , she fought hard. on march 6th 2007 my mom lost the war, she was only 57. im sorry for the downer and didnt mean to jack the thread. be strong for those around you they will look to you to help them thru it all........including your husband. my best to your family

[thegreatgazoo]

God Bless all of you and I wish you the best.

[rustytrombone1]

My mother died from espohogeal cancer. Diagnosed in May, passed away in January.

Spend all the time you can with him...that's all I can tell you.

[Rich W.]

I had cancer...they took a chunk out of my kidney...been c-free for 3 years...

Bah...it's for pussies...

[ChewDown]

Pat was discharged from the hospital yesterday... Thank god. The healthcare system isnt all it SHOULD be. Some nurses are great..others you have to pull teeth... I feel bad for the people that dont have someone to fight on there behalf.

Last night everything went wrong.. Spent the evening up fixing equiptment and he felt like shit. so today was research and schedule day. Finding the perfect order to put the box full of medicines I have to use.. Which ones work which ones dont...yada yada yada

Well he is sleeping..snoring tooo... that I have missed. he hasnt sleep this long without getting sick in weeks... He is nausea free right now....

So I fight, he will fight... I will make sure he gets what he needs... hopefully we make it out of this.

The acid reflex is back, which I actually view as a good sign, that means the tumor has shrunk.

There are so many cancers... so many families that have suffered... it amazes me that breast cancer gets so much attention. I think it is good... but there are so many other cancers that deserve attention as well.. Colon, Prostate, Liver, Kidney.. Primary or secondary.

Thanks for all your on going support...it is appreciated.. This place and the show have become the only escape I have..

[rottwielerinpa]

God bless you and your family. I hope and pray for a positive outcome for you all.