Your racist relatives

[ShooterMcGavin]

We all have an old relative that we are sure is the most racist person on the planet. Well, lets face it, they grew up in the good ol' days :)

So here's a thread where you get to talk about your racist relatives. And it doesn't have to be your grandma or grandpa. Maybe your brother is in the Klan, who knows.


My grandmother is hilarious. She tries to hide that she's racist, but sometimes it slips out, and when it does, I always get in trouble because I'm the one that tries to escalate the situation. "Don't encourage her, Travis." I can't help it. It's too damn funny.

For instance, one day when I was around 14, I was at my grandmother's house with the rest of my family, and Venus and Serena Williams were in some tennis match on TV. Grandma exclaims, "Wow, them two chocolate bars sure can play!"

Fuckin hilarious.

[martianvirus]

can I count myself?

[Ol'BloodyBottom]

yes

[Beeman99]

My grandpa once went up to a darkie in a resturant up north and gave him a hundred bucks just so he could start on his trip back to africa

[Evil D]

we bought my great aunt a dell computer so she could get pics of the grandkids and email people. she hated it because it was, and i quote, "Black as the Ace of Spades"

[Sidekick Dave]

Yeah, my Grandmother (R.I.P.), well we were in Salem, Massachusetts back in June of 2001. We went to the local 99 to eat and my Grandmother, saw this interracial couple sitting down.

There was the typical black, the trashy low-life white bitch in her nose ring and flannel shirt with damaged mullet hair and chewing gum. Well they had a caramel baby in the carriage and my Grandmother (who was originally from Kentucky) looked over at the couple and she yelledto the girl "Well thats disgusting. Ya, you oughta be ashamed of yourself young lady. That is atrocious!"

My Mom and my Aunt were like "Aht, aht, aht! Ya know what Betty? This is the North. We don't say things like that up here!" And the couple, left not knowing what was going on. Except, the black dude looked like exactly like the Darkie who was in the news with all of the old people muggings. Just saying.

[Beeman99]

my dad was in an accident last week with his Semi (southern Alberta winds suck, close to 100 mph gust came over the mountains and decided the trailer would make a good kite, trailer flew close to 100 feet and the truck was the weight on the end that got drug) so he's looking for a new truck. He found one, called, and it was a paki that owns it, all I heard him say has "For fucks sakes, why can't one white guy own a truck for sale" and hung up on the paki

[Glenn Dandy]

Who wants a truck that smells like curry.

My grandmom R.I.P likes the slots, so i would throw her in the Trans Am and wing on down the shore....once we parked between harrahs and Ballys in this lot...Typical worthless muttering black lady in the money booth... I had a problem with what she charged me so Im argueing with her about how long I was there... Granny leans over and says, " You better quite giving my grandson a hard time you ******.".... The ladys face dropped.. I burst out laughing and so did grandmom.

Ahh good times miss ya GM.

I felt bad she ended up in a home... And you can guess who were her caregivers... She was freaking out, screaming you cant leave me here with all these *******.... I felt so bad...Life realy sucks sometimes. She died shortly after... I swear I think she died just to get away from those damned *******!

[martianvirus]

My grandparents use the N word. And my cousin who is in the air force is a racist as well. I just don't like their crime, music and smell. Everyone should carry bars of soap with them, that way you can hand one to a colored and tell them to wash the dirt off their skin.

[HummerTuesdays]

I am the racist family member but I wasn't like this growing up. I treated everyone equal, had a pretty mixed class in grammar school. Then I got out into the real world and saw what people are really like.

[martianvirus]

I am the racist family member but I wasn't like this growing up. I treated everyone equal, had a pretty mixed class in grammar school. Then I got out into the real world and saw what people are really like.x2

[WMB]

It's me. I'm the one that everyone says "OMG, did he just say that..."

[Beeman99]

Who wants a truck that smells like curry.




it isn't that, it's the fact that the dirty sand coons cut fucking holes in the bottom of their sleepers and shit through that onto the ground. Shit gets on the driveshaft, and once that starts spinning you have fucking shit icing all over the undercarriage

[bethm1b]

I don't hate them because of their race. You all know the rest.

[YaHearIHearMe]

Well this very close friend of the family who raised my dad when his dad died and mother moved to California so shes pretty much family has slave paper's from her parents who owned a few back then. But she loves to show them off to every one and has stories.
Then my moms dad my grandfather I just love when he starts talking about the golfers he calls em the colored... This colored fella he say's and he thinks he's being nice, and when we try to tell him not to say it like that he gets all defensive.
I crack up when he get going its hysterical.
It was also funny when I was dating a PR girl or then when I dated half blk half wht girl the way he would says things then try and correct himself.

[ChimneyFish]

I've got idea for the next thread.


"Who's fucked their cousin????"
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c217/luxa1/Hick.jpg

[Haeder]

My Uncle George would have embarrassed No Filter Paul.

On MLK Jr Day he would walk the streets yelling "Happy N----r Day!" to the passers by.

He called his Mexican friend "Wetback" because he had to swim the river to get into our country. "Hey Wetback," he'd say, "let's go fishing. I don't have an extra life preserver but we all know you can swim."

I'm not sure he was really a racist. He just really enjoyed agitating people.

One Thanksgiving, he asked if he could say the prayer and went on to deliver a 20 minute sermon that didn't end until the food was cold. Then he complained about being served cold food.

He was the besssssst.

[Three Hole Puncher]

My Irish granny... may she R.I.P... was a pisser. You'd show her your new car and she'd say, "It's a beauty. It shines like a nig-ger's heel." She didn't give a fuck who was listening.

Also... she could watch a boxing match between two white guys, or two black guys, but if it was a black guy vs. a white guy she'd go nuts... "Look at that awful darkie! Just punching that nice man without a care!" She couldn't watch... she'd be like ready to call the cops. She'd get so upset that she had to leave the room. We'd fuck with her, and say shit like... "Nan! Come watch! the darkie just knocked him out!" She'd be like, "Oh, saints bless us! Why do they allow this!" She could watch two black guys, or two white guys pound each other all day... but a "mixed breed" fight... she couldn't tolerate. :haha7:

[boardsofcanada]

Most of the older people in my family are racist. They aren't as racist as say...farrakhan or...Jesse Jackson but they have dropped their fair share of ****** bombs.

[martianvirus]

My Irish granny... may she R.I.P... was a pisser. You'd show her your new car and she'd say, "It's a beauty. It shines like a nig-ger's heel." She didn't give a fuck who was listening.

Also... she could watch a boxing match between two white guys, or two black guys, but if it was a black guy vs. a white guy she'd go nuts... "Look at that awful darkie! Just punching that nice man without a care!" She couldn't watch... she'd be like ready to call the cops. She'd get so upset that she had to leave the room. We'd fuck with her, and say shit like... "Nan! Come watch! the darkie just knocked him out!" She'd be like, "Oh, saints bless us! Why do they allow this!" She could watch two black guys, or two white guys pound each other all day... but a "mixed breed" fight... she couldn't tolerate. :haha7:
All I could hear while reading that was Opie saying “Picture your Grandmother naked”.

[Beeman99]

you do have to be careful though. A man in a town next to me got a 10000 fine and 30 days in jail for calling a pindot a terrorist.

[THE FEZ MAN]

besides me. my grand father was quite the raceist, he was ukrainian, the whiteist of the white, add to that he was in "the big one" he invaded italy and was part of the occupation force, he refused to eat in an i-tialian restruant "the fucking wops will poision ya" and he refused to eat anything that said kosher on it cuz it was "heeb food" and well the blacks...... when we put him in the home all he did the entire time he was there was compaine that the "collerd *******" were stealing his cloths and taking his sodas. i explained to him 100x that the "*******" are being paid to wash his clothes and his stinky white ass, and that he was drinking the god damn sodas, and if he didnt stop bitching i was going to take him to the VA hospital.

the guy i work with is a charictor also, he cant read. yet screems and complains any time some one of any color or country comes in, if there dark or olive there doon koons, if there white and dont speek flawless (no accent other than media pa) there fucking idots or just fourgners he does nothing but bitch and moan about them. the lateist was he thew out a guy that wanted an estamate to have his bumber and fender fixed, he litterly stood in the drive way and told him to get the fuck out if you cant speek english. now i talked to the guy on the phone, yes he had an accent but spoke english just fine.

[Three Hole Puncher]

My grandfather... he was pisser too.

We were on a fishing boat down in Florida, and there were two Knee-grows on the boat, one was wearing some kind of do rag, and the other one had on a shower cap. :idontknow seriously... the dude was walking around with a shower cap on his head.

My grandfather looks over at them, turns to us, and without lowering his voice one bit says...

"Nig-gers. If they can't eat it, drink it, smoke it, or screw it, they'll wear it on their heads."

:haha7:

Instant classic... a gem that me and my brothers still use twenty years after he spoke it.

[Coffee Diva]

you do have to be careful though. A man in a town next to me got a 10000 fine and 30 days in jail for calling a pindot a terrorist.

That's because you're in the Socialist Worker's Paradise of Cannnnnada. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get some freedoms back after a couple of terrorist nuclear strikes. :icon_mrgr

My grandmother always kept it on the down low, just saying things to me in confidence when nobody else was in earshot. "Now, you know we weren't meant to mix with the colored people... That's what it says in the Bible..."

http://wackbag.com/customavatars/avatar10952_5.gif <--- Andy Kaufman is alive!!!

[tar_baby]

me

[momsacunt]

I guess I am and I passed it along to my kids, my youngest,Michael age 12 at the time, woke up from having an operation on his leg only to find a nurse with a much darker skin than his own it was classic,he shook his head did a double take and started screaming, loud out of control screaming ,"GET YOUR FUCKING NIG@ER HANDS OFF ME BITCH!!!! I'LL KILL YOU YOU FUCKING NIG@ER GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!! the nursing staff shall we say was a tad bit freaked out but so they called a doctor who told them he was just having a reaction to the pain meds.He is 21 now and that is one of the things we laugh about the most. Ah the fond memories of raising my three boys with out the sensabilities of a fucking cunt.

[Glenn Dandy]

That's because you're in the Socialist Worker's Paradise of Cannnnnada. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get some freedoms back after a couple of terrorist nuclear strikes. :icon_mrgr

My grandmother always kept it on the down low, just saying things to me in confidence when nobody else was in earshot. "Now, you know we weren't meant to mix with the colored people... That's what it says in the Bible..."

http://wackbag.com/customavatars/avatar10952_5.gif <--- Andy Kaufman is alive!!!
Dank U Vely Much.

[Glenn Dandy]

I have a cring memory.... When I was like 8 years old there were no blacks in my erea, I saw em on TV.. and here n there... but honestly I never heard the N word... because i guess there werent any.

So when we were kids out playing n such... we would get dirty, sweat etc, and this dirt would form on the insides of your elbow joint.. when you rubbed it they would turn into little black dirt balls. afectionatly called " ****** babys"...I had no association with the n word except these dirt balls. So Im in a diner with my dad at the counter and I go " Look dad ****** babys." Well there was a black fella sitting right next to me.... I still feel bad..

The odd thing was my dad just didnt say anything.,i dont even remember him being uncomfortable. And the black dude sure didnt say nothin either... Times sure have changed.

But It was just so ignorent. I do still feel bad.

[Cybouncer]

My mom took my grandmother to the airport last month. When my mom asked her where the bathrooms were, my grandmother replied, "Right next to that group of N!ggers". The best part is that she had no idea what the problem was with that statement.

I love old people sometimes...

[JimsInfectedEye]

Well, lets face it, they grew up in the good ol' days :)



You mean segregation, or slavery?

[FishinForBabies]

my dads side of the family is extremely racist. I love going to my aunts house. every 10th word out of her mouth is nig-ger. I havent met an aunt or uncle yet on my dad's side that wasnt racist.


they sure are fun to visit.

[Glenn Dandy]

My mom took my grandmother to the airport last month. When my mom asked her where the bathrooms were, my grandmother replied, "Right next to that group of N!ggers". The best part is that she had no idea what the problem was with that statement.

I love old people sometimes...

niether do I.:action-sm

[Cybouncer]

niether do I.:action-sm


:clap: :clap: :clap: :haha7:

Well played Mister!

[Ballbuster1]

My grandfather was very old school. I remember him watching a football
game where someone ran almost the whole field on a kick return to
score a touchdown and his comment was: "That's all they are good for,
playing sports." Guess the color...:rolleyes:

[Glenn Dandy]

Yeah Ive heard the ol, " thats all their good for, Singing , dancing, and making babies."

[NY Sportscene]

Who doesn't have family members that are racist? And in 20 years, someone can ask our offspring that same question and they will answer in the afirmitaive, as well. These bleedin' heart liberals may say that they are not of that type, but plop them in the middle of the 'other' neighborhood (for whichever you subscribe), and then let them tell you that 'everyone is beautiful.' It's just human nature, regardless of what state you grew up in.
http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1591/6874084/13190158/236025936.jpghttp://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1591/6874084/13190158/236025935.jpghttp://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1591/6874084/13190158/196358396.jpg

[norton23]

I gotta say my older bro,,,My stepmom is black aka negro and my bro talks shit behind her back all the time... about how lazy she is,,,, how many watermellon seeds fall out of her pocket when she reaches in to take out her phillies blunt to light up her chronic, about how she's always spilling her colt .45 all over her FUBU shirts, he understands that there a "festive" bunch but can't stand it when she dances around like a gorilla to that Akon Cd

whats the difference between a black person and a tire? ....A tire doesn't sing when you wrap chains around it

why does a black guy scream everytime he has sex?,,,,,THE MACE

why do white women never moan or scream when a black guy is giving them oral?,,,,,,,,,because of the knife to the throught

[Valk]

Was at a family get together when I was younger. The family was watching a boxing match on TV. I asked my grandfather "who's winning" and he said, "boy, whenever 2 knitters fight, we all win!" My fears that I was adopted where gone...

[fuckmyass]

http://www.versagivoice.com/images_2005/burning_cross.jpg

[DanaReevesLungs]

My mom and dad brought a black co-worker to her house once for dinner. I was too young to recall the incident but my mom told me that my grandmother walked out her house and went sit on her swing until he left.

[bethm1b]

My mom took my grandmother to the airport last month. When my mom asked her where the bathrooms were, my grandmother replied, "Right next to that group of N!ggers". The best part is that she had no idea what the problem was with that statement.

I love old people sometimes...



Granny in '08.

[Voss's Tumor]

Good friend of mine got a scholarship to Texas Tech for football when he graduated HS, and he was telling me about it the other day.

"I couldn't take it man, I'd never seen people treat ******* like normal people. It freaked me the fuck out and I had to move home"

Yeah, he's a cop now.

My grandmother "fixed" her racism by using the word nigra. "Go get me that box over there by where that nigra man's standing", etc.

[THE FEZ MAN]

till the day he died my father called all older black people collerd and any young ones (my age or younger) jitterbugs

[weeniewawa]

my dad was in an accident last week with his Semi (southern Alberta winds suck, close to 100 mph gust came over the mountains and decided the trailer would make a good kite, trailer flew close to 100 feet and the truck was the weight on the end that got drug) so he's looking for a new truck. He found one, called, and it was a paki that owns it, all I heard him say has "For fucks sakes, why can't one white guy own a truck for sale" and hung up on the paki
he better buy one in the states as I have never seen a trucker from canada that wasn't an indian or paki. and they all drive KW t2000s

[Dave _from_Kiev]

My granfathers (he's 82) "claims" that blacks are black and their palms and feet bottom's are white because they were stoking the coal for the fires in hell.

Now thats original.

[THE FEZ MAN]

My granfathers (he's 82) "claims" that blacks are black and their palms and feet bottom's are white because they were stoking the fires in hell.

Now thats original.

you know its not from working

[westben2002]

as Avenue Q says...............Everyones a little bit racist sometimes

[fuckmyass]

as Avenue Q says...............Everyones a little bit racist sometimes



My parents didn't raise me to be racist, they never really voiced that in their teachings.

I do remember that when I was young and my mother and I were walking, if there was a black person on the same side of the street, she would cross the street to the other side.

They always preached that there were good and bad of all kinds, but I guess they were still a product of their time.

I am not a racist, my wife is half spanish and my best friend is black. I do fuck around with the race jokes and shit because it is funny, well I guess it is funny to see the reactions of some of you guys.

I don't really give a fuck what color you are, as long as it doesn't affect me.

[CringeRadioWanted]

I've gotta say my dad, a little...cringe story:

My dad is driving my sister and the neighbor girl to the mall through the uh...poorer...part of town, and suddenly goes diving from left to right behind the wheel. My sister is terrified, and says "What the hell are you doing????"

"I'm ducking the spears!"

God, I almost wish that was made up...

[Glenn Dandy]

Everyone whos not racist should be dropped into a ghetto until morning... They will be racist by then and can rejoin society.

I was brought up to not be racist,,, It was a learned lifestyle, Its called surviving to 50. Ive almost died 4 times. every time involved ******* and guns trying to steal from me.

I think getting shot at will do that to ya. Damned right Im racist. No white people have robbed me, held me up, stolen from me.... I dont understand why common sense is a bad word.