Puke Stories

[norton23]

O.K. here it is..........I'm off from school and work for the week so I got a 'lil vacation time, plenty of time to booze at night and not have to worry about getting up on time........Today I woke up with a big hangover. I drank a shit load of water and popped a couple trim spa's and headed for the gym. I sweat my ass off on the e trainer, lifted, and again felt great.....Then did some ab's and something didn't seem right........I left to pick my bro up to take him to class and I realized how much water I had put into my body and haden't taken a piss at all, and there was no way in hell I sweat it all out........Well Im driving him to class (he goes to graduate school in cambridge mass).......when I hit the center of cambride where a shitload of people walk around I felt like I had to puke, each bump in the road just made it worse untill finially I had to slow down and open the door, BLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAA all over my car door and on my jacket and pant's, not much made it to the street. I shut the door as my bro is laughing his ass off at me and then it hit again so I did the same thing, BBBBLLLLLAAAAAAA all over my door but this time most of it hit the street. It was so goddamm embarrasing b/c all these people were watching me with the look of horror on there faces..........The good thing is that all the stuff that I puked out was water and I think a partially obsorbed trim spa popped out.

Let's just say it took a lot of cleaning to make my car smell normal again.

That's my puke story of the day......I'm sure you all got some good one's so post 'em up:bigok

[Cleveland Steamer]

If I may use this as my first post...

When I was 17, my buddy's parents went outta town for the weekend so naturally, we threw a party at his house. His place is huge and in the middle of nowhere. We got a few kegs and invited about 50 people (which yielded about 150 once word got out).

The first keg was tapped at 6pm. Of course, we started right then and there. Three hours and 10 beers later, I decided to be a bad ass and do a few keg stands. The first was 9 seconds, the second one, 16 seconds... the final straw lasted 28 seconds (If you've never done a keg stand, you can drink a LOT of beer in 28 seconds).

Anyway, I'm feelin' good and drunk. I don't get hungry when I drink, but for some reason, going for a ride to Taco Bell sounded like a splendid idea. So, two minutes into the ride, I'm banging my head on the window and my buddy reaches over and opens the door for me. Puke all over. I fell outta the car (while yacking) and landed in my own yummy goodness. A cop pulls up behind us. I'm in and out of conciousness. He takes my license and tells the driver to take me home. We go back to the party and I pass out in the bathtub naked.

The next night I woke up, went home, and found my license on the dinner table. The cop dropped it off to my parents and told them they might wanna think about admitting me into rehab. Fuckin' prick.

[Marye]

How 'bout a drunk hubby on your wedding night!!!! There you are in your pretty little negligee' sitting in the bathroom watching him puke his guts out! Too many "congratulations, let me get you a drink" at the reception I guess. Good thing I didn't listen to anyone and wait until my wedding night, or I'd be one pissed off BITCH!

Oh, and welcome Cleveland Steamer.

[ASSMAN]

once last year my friends and i were at the bar and we got back, tottaly shitfaced i was on the shitter and having diarrea and while i was on there i had to puke so i stood up to reach the sink, puked, then sat down and finished my dump. and a few mins later i was in bed and my friend had passed on the floor and when he woke up the 1st thing he saw was me puking, i puked like 12 times that night. and once when i was in high school we were playing basketball and in the middle of the game i just puke on the court, and i remember a group of girls yelling ewwwwww puke stories rule :bigok

[ResinIII]

I was 16 years old.I was dating a guy 17.He invited me over his parents house for New Years Eve with his family.His parents were Italian and the food and wine was flowing.They didn't think twice about the kids having a couple glasses of wine.They did the antipasto thing, one including marinated mushrooms.So later on, the adults watched TV in the living room.My b/f at the time older sister had a bedroom in the basement.It was basically a basement apartment.His sister was 18, at the time the drinking age was 18.So he raids his sister fridge.Bottles of Boones Farms.We start drinking and smoking pot.We get all lovey dovey.I'm half passed out.Now it's only 9:30.I passed out.He woke me at 11:50.Drove me home, carried me up to my parents porch and told them I ate something that didn't agree with me.Somebody put me to bed, I woke up the next day at 4:00 soaked in vomit and marinated mushrooms.....I think I'm gona be sick again!!!!And um Fofo?I think I was your old boss's bedroom.:(

[Ballbuster1]

I was 15 and went to a New Years Party at a friends house.
Lots of food and M/D and Manachevicz(?). Barfed my guts
up. It was ugly! Never did that again!

[jmbrooks]

A couple years ago we wen tot he Alley in boston for halloween. One fo our friends brough his new girlfriend. She was kind enough to drive us there, and home. Well on the way home my roommate started getting sick. I'm yelling at the girl to roll down the window. She cracks it a little cause she was cold. No sooner did we stop when he puked all over her. I jump out of the backseat while our other friend is ripping my roommate out of the car. I tried to help after I stopped laughing at my buddies girlfriend crying and covered in puke but then I started puking too.
The girl crying, our friend all pissed off at us. We got stranded in Boston by the Fleetcenter. You think my buddy got any that night?
We get a cab back to our place. And my roommate was puking all over that too. The Canny didn't care. Man did it stink though.

[Wishypants]

When I had just turned 21 a guy that I had a bit of a crush on called me to meet him for drinks after work. I had worked all day and didn't eat much. I met him and a few of his friends at the bar a proceeded to drink a lot in a very short period of time. All of a sudden I realized I was going to puke, but there was no chance I was going to make it to the bathroom. I turned to the guy and slurred some sort of goodbye... stood up and puked all over the floor. I thought I would just continue to walk to the door, that no one would notice that I had puked. Except I puked again, and again, a trail all the way out to my car. Never been back to that bar... although I dated that guy for like 2 years after that - I was always amazed that he called me after that debacle.

[wackadoo]

i was 15 or 16 and grounded. i saw my buddy rick (who lived across the street) waving a bottle of southern at me, so i put on the charm and begged my mom to let me go just acroos the street and hang. she did.

we killed the bottle. and a twelve pack....i was obliterated, puking in his bathroom when his mom comes home and starts screaming at him outside (he was passed out on a lounge chair on the front porch). i figured i better leave, as i was passing her i puked all over the porch and got some on her shoes! needless to say, she was pissed.

i ended up falling asleep on my front stoop, couldn't open the door. my dad had to to carry me in when he came home from work like 3 in the morning.

[Jaqueta]

you wanna puke story? i had food poisoning for about a week and a half once...man...i thought the hat i lost at hershey park when i was 11 was gonna come up. i got it from eating at a friends house, shes also puking and yet she insists i didnt get it from her.

also, when i was 19 i took a road trip to new hampshire to visit a friend and see his band play...i got shitfaced and kept puking in the parking lot...for some reason (maybe because i was surrounded by 15 year old boys) everyone thought this was cool and kept running out of the club to watch...

and im rather intoxicated right now...celebrating finishing an ungodly term paper for my obscenely bizarre english professor who talks about goat fucking in class...he also thinks im a dominatrix...and possibly wants to hire me..having consumed the better part of a large bottle of a good red wi ne...im sure ill be praying to the porcelain god tomorrow.

[jmbrooks]

I was probably about 16 at the time. We had a snow day. My younger brother and I decide to grab a bottle of Vodka and play quarters.(I had seen my older brother play it with his friends). We proceeded to go through about a bottle and a half of Vodka. He got really sick and puking all over the place. Mean while I was doing all I could to stand up. A couple hours later My brother and I are in the living room passed out. Puke all over the place. My mom came home to find us there. I swear to god I don't know how I thought of it but we sweared up and down it was some food we ate. We found some spaghettt down stairs. It wasn't bad, but she believed it.

I'm a little fucked up right now too... THIRSTY THURSDAYS.

[FOFOLINA]

Here is my puke story. I rarely have shit like this happen to me but this one seems to always stick in my mind.
When 9/11 happened that week my friend’s punk band had a show in south NJ
Well since everyone and their mother was in a down mood. We wanted to fucking drink hard. Well as soon as I walked in the bar (Mind you I didn’t eat a fucking thing all day)
I had about 5 shots of Jolly Rancher, and then 3 beers I never drank shit that fast ever in my life. Then the band played I’m still taking shots like a goddamn freak of nature,
This time it was Jager and Sambuca 4 each. I kept on doing that while drinking more beers.
Mind you people I am a 1-beer wussy here. I don’t know how I had the stomach to drink all this shit. Well 30 mins later I started to feel it. I puked for 20 mins. Came back out
Drank all over again 1 hour later puked again. And it kept on going for about 3 hours.
That had to be the worst thing for me. But man I would hate for that shit to ever happen again to me. It was fucking insane. I was so fucked up that I started to mumble and not know what was going on. I woke up with a hell of a hangover.

[Butternuts]

Spring break vying for king.
The match, swim a lap do a shot, at each end of the pool my buddy and another guy.
they went about 6 laps, the other guy puked all over, my buddy walked over picked what looked to be a large chunk of sausage out of the vomit ,,,, ate it, smiled and was DECLARED "KING OF SPRING BREAK" on the spot.


First day of Highschool:::::
We thought it would be cool to get shitfaced first day of Highschool.
So we stashed the perverbial "boones farm" case of wine the day before in the woods,,,,, well it warmed up that night, the shit was piss warm that morning ..

What the hell we slamed all 6-8 bottles down. MY GOD THERE WAS PUKE FLYING EVERYWHERE. Mike threw up on goerges back while riding on the back of his bike.
My friend ED definatly at "Lucky Charms" because wine, milk and lucky charms look edible after just consuming it all, i could still make out the yellow moons, orange stars and green clovers, needless to say i didnt puke that day, but did fall out of my homeroom chair during rolecall.:biggrinea

[Toronto Hottie]

Ooooo, great thread!!

16, fake id. I absolutely drank myself stupid at a small-town bar. Everyone else I was with was of age - including my boyfriend. There wasn't a single one of us not trashed - but my innards decided to see the light of day moments before the cop walked up to the driver's side door, all over myself AND my boyfriend, who's lap I was sitting in.

The driver was a mess, so the cop gave each of us a breathalizer to determine which of us was sober enough to drive. He looked at me once - covered in stinky alcohol puke as I got into the cruiser, and said "Do we even waste a mouthpiece?"

Hehehehe!! We took a cab home that night!!!!

[100 Grand]

One time, I was watching a pie eating contest. People used to make fun of this guy because he was so fat, so he drank a bottle of castor oil and ate some raw eggs right before the contest. Well after about 5-6 pies, he was winning when all of a sudden he felt this grumbling, it was so loud that the other contestants heard the grumbling too! All of a sudden, it let loose, he started puking to his right....he started puking to his left....puking up blueberry pie! The next thing you know, there is a lady in the audience that turns and pukes on her husband....kids starting to puke on their parents....old people puked on young people, young people puked on old people....it turned into a "Puke-o-Rama"!!!!! And he just sat back and watched the whole thing unfold! It was great!! After that was over, me and my friends went on a hike down some railroad tracks to see a dead kid! ;) :D

[I Beg To Differ]

Alright, mine's pathetic.

I was a senior in high school (17) and it was AP time. So I was taking my APs in Biology and Psychology.

The night before the AP Bio test, I decided to take a bath to relax my nerves.

I'm in the bathtub and I started to feel naseaus (sp). So I take a few deep breaths and then I"m like oh shit I'm gonna puke in the tub. So I slid out of the tub and hit my knee and twisted my ankle trying to get to the toilet. I made it to the toilet on time and heaved a lot.

To make matters worse (actually it was kidna funny), I barely slept the night cause I was getting up every hour to go puke. However I was having dreams of the chapters of my AP Bio book.

Was still throwing up at 6 AM the day of the test. Hauled my ass to the doctor who said not to take it. I went to school in sweats with a gallon of gatorade and crackers and on crutches with my ankle wrapped up.

I looked like hell and felt it. Needless to say I didn't do as well as I liked on my tests but did get a good enough score on Psych to get credit.

[PyThomas]

I used to seem to always puke after family reunions. Maybe it was a certain dish that someone always brought or something, but FOUR DIFFERENT YEARS I went to a family reunion and got sick. The last time, I managed not to puke, but the other three times it was projectile vomit city. One time I woke up in bed and there were patches of puke on the blankets and on the floor.

It's no fun for me, because once all that stuff comes out my system, I seem stuck in dry-heaving mode for another half-hour and it's a bitch to stop. That's probably the main reason why I consciously avoided getting all-out drunk throughout my life.

And my gag reflex at the sight/smell of shit doesn't help matters either. I just know that my future child is gonna end up with Daddy's vomit all over his/her body one day while Daddy's changing his/her diaper.

:tape4:

[Butternuts]

One time at band camp....... ohh wait sorry..

One time i was riding my dirt bike with my friend, well in those days no helmet of course, and no rear brakes.

I hit some slick mud with my front break and down i went, hitting my head on the ground and dislocating my shoulder simultaniously.

As i tryed to pick my mangled body off the ground dying in pain( footnote: (dislocated shoulders fucking hurt). It started.........

My friend said my mouth just opened and puke shot out like 10 feet, it was like a sump pump had kicked on in my stomach,, he was laughing his ass off at me, i was giggling in between puking and the pain.lol

after it subsided i drug myself up to my grandmoms house she gave me 2 tylenol gel tabs for pain,,,, well, i didnt know concussions meant the puking wouldnt end, so i sat in fron t of the emergency room throwing up two friggin gel caps, That was not fun.:o

[norton23]

Originally posted by jmbrooks
A couple years ago we wen tot he Alley in boston for halloween. One fo our friends brough his new girlfriend. She was kind enough to drive us there, and home. Well on the way home my roommate started getting sick. I'm yelling at the girl to roll down the window. She cracks it a little cause she was cold. No sooner did we stop when he puked all over her. I jump out of the backseat while our other friend is ripping my roommate out of the car. I tried to help after I stopped laughing at my buddies girlfriend crying and covered in puke but then I started puking too.
The girl crying, our friend all pissed off at us. We got stranded in Boston by the Fleetcenter. You think my buddy got any that night?
We get a cab back to our place. And my roommate was puking all over that too. The Canny didn't care. Man did it stink though.

i've booted many times from biships pub and sweatwater in the alley

[Darkstar]

OK, neither are about me because I can hold my liquor. :)

At my college we used to go up to Montreal when we were underage because you can drink at 18. So we go up, hit the bars get ripped and head back to the hotel room, 6 of us crammed into a room. We're out on the balcony of the 13th floor smoking when my roommate leans over the balcony and heaves. From the street below we hear "What the hell was that?"

Another time my other roommate had someone drive his car because we were all smashed. We are about 1 minute from our house when he heaves in the passenger. Splat, all over the windshield and into the heating vents. Took 2 weeks to get it all out.

[norton23]

good thing I found this thread...quess what just happened? I almost puked, I was out late last night and got fucked up, it was me and everyone who lives in the house........well today I got up and decided to relieve my hangover with a few beers.....it tastes like a cup of nails and i've been going real slow.....each sip has to be carefully thought about otherwise i'd boot........well I felt better after a few,, my roomate was also having a few when all of a sudden one sip apparently didn't go down too well and he got up to boot from the living room, well he didn't make it, as soon as he sat up BLLLLLLAAAASAA everywhere........I had to try real hard not to boot, I found myself concentrating on the thought of a poland springs ad of all things in order to not feel the need to boot.......I slowly picked up the magazine with the ad i it, stared at the ad and thought of stupid things like I wonder how they filter the water, I was trying so hard to pretend the boot never happened, made it to my room and finially felt fine.......that was fucking close, but I can't believe the stupid ad helped me out like that......strange

[gasbuddah]

ok, here's my puke story:
I'm at a party, get ripped. The, very lovely, hostess of the party asks if I am enjoying the get together. As I begin to reply, I puke all over her, and manage to finish my sentence.