Haeder
01-15-2008, 01:14 PM
I got fixed on 11/30/07.
Had an initial consultation with the Dr. on 11/19. We discussed the process, what to expect during/after the procedure and he made good and sure I knew this was pretty much the end of my baby-making days.
My fourth child was born on 11/8. Two boys, two girls - all healthy. Neither my wife or I want to have any more kids. I'm 33, she's 31, we're outnumbered as it is and it was just time to be done.
Dr. agreed with the assessment and we set 11/30 as the surgery date. His rundown of the procedure was something like:
1-Check-in at 1:00 pm.
2-Get drugged so I'll be relaxed for the surgery.
3-Local anesthetic administered to yambag and the area is shaved.
4-Dr. makes incision and teases vas deferens to the surface for cor-rrrrrr-ection. This was the thing that probably disturbed me most. A middle aged man with a moustache telling me he was going to be teasing my vas to the surface of my scrotum. I whispered, "no homo," to myself.
5-After vas is liberated from the friendly confines of my scrotum, Dr. scalpels out about a centimeter, cauterizes the now-loose ends, stitches them shut, stitches a seam under the skin so the loose ends aren't in alignment in order to prevent a rogue sperm from jumping the gap, tucks the surgically altered tubes away and stitches everything shut.
6-Steps 4 and 5 are repeated on the other side of the bag.
7-I get dressed and driven home by my wife.
8-Rest and recover for a few days while wearing snug undies and icing down with a bag of frozen peas.
It's supposed to take 15-20 ejaculations after the surgery to get all of the stored sperm out of the body. I'm to bring in a sample for examination by the Dr. after firing out the aforementioned number of loads.
That's pretty much it for the initial consultation until Dr. remembers one more thing.
"Oh, yeah...your first ejaculation will probably be really clear and might contain some blood," Dr. mentions, "but this is normal and shouldn't cause any probems." This is the second most disturbing news received during our discussion.
November 30th finally arrives. My wife drops me off at the clinic. The nurse leads me to the surgery room which is just about the same as every other room in the clinic except for the old school leather and wood surgery table in the middle of the room.
I strip down to my socks, put on the awful hospital gown and hop on the table. The nurse inserts an IV needle into my left arm and says the Dr. will be in shortly. About 10 or 15 minutes passes before the Dr. and nurse enter the room.
The nurse hooks me up to some sort of adhesive wiring thing that is supposed to act as a ground for the cauterizing gun so I don't burst into flames. Being electrically grounded before surgery to your nads is awkward.
The Dr. lifts a needle from the table, tells me it's some drug called Versed and injects the full dose into the IV that's in my left arm. "This will have about the same effect as drinking six beers in two minutes," he tells me, "and it may cause amnesia."
"That's not necessarily a bad thing," I say. "This is something I can probably live without remembering."
The Versed kicked in just a few moments later and I can't remember shit about the following hour. The next thing I remember is my mule being untaped from my belly and the Dr. and nurse wrapping me with gauze while putting my tighty whities back on. They told me everything went well and helped me into the hallway where my wife was waiting to take me home.
The nurse showed me the containers containing the segments of my recently altered vas deferens.
"Can I have those?" A question that caught the nurse off guard.
After she OK'd it with the Dr., I took what was removed from my balls and went home.
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j220/DakotaTed/MVC-003F.jpg
Not much worth noting happened over the next few days. No swelling to the size of grapefruits. No passing out from pain and breaking my back on the kitchen counter. No horrific bleeding. Just a dull ache for about 24 hours and some discomfort caused by the stitches poking into my legs. Only took one of the wonderful prescription pain pills the night of the surgery to help me sleep. There just wasn't really any pain to speak of at all.
Went pheasant hunting two days later for about 3 hours with no ill effects.
No bloody ejaculations. That was a good thing.
Stitches dissolved and fell out within a week.
Everything was working fine. There were just two little lumps in my yambag now. One on each side. The shaved area, about the size of a poker chip on each teste, grew back in without incident.
Took a sample to the Dr. on 1/9/08 and got the all clear. Sperm count = 0.
Worry free banging kicks ass.
Anthony is a wuss.
Had an initial consultation with the Dr. on 11/19. We discussed the process, what to expect during/after the procedure and he made good and sure I knew this was pretty much the end of my baby-making days.
My fourth child was born on 11/8. Two boys, two girls - all healthy. Neither my wife or I want to have any more kids. I'm 33, she's 31, we're outnumbered as it is and it was just time to be done.
Dr. agreed with the assessment and we set 11/30 as the surgery date. His rundown of the procedure was something like:
1-Check-in at 1:00 pm.
2-Get drugged so I'll be relaxed for the surgery.
3-Local anesthetic administered to yambag and the area is shaved.
4-Dr. makes incision and teases vas deferens to the surface for cor-rrrrrr-ection. This was the thing that probably disturbed me most. A middle aged man with a moustache telling me he was going to be teasing my vas to the surface of my scrotum. I whispered, "no homo," to myself.
5-After vas is liberated from the friendly confines of my scrotum, Dr. scalpels out about a centimeter, cauterizes the now-loose ends, stitches them shut, stitches a seam under the skin so the loose ends aren't in alignment in order to prevent a rogue sperm from jumping the gap, tucks the surgically altered tubes away and stitches everything shut.
6-Steps 4 and 5 are repeated on the other side of the bag.
7-I get dressed and driven home by my wife.
8-Rest and recover for a few days while wearing snug undies and icing down with a bag of frozen peas.
It's supposed to take 15-20 ejaculations after the surgery to get all of the stored sperm out of the body. I'm to bring in a sample for examination by the Dr. after firing out the aforementioned number of loads.
That's pretty much it for the initial consultation until Dr. remembers one more thing.
"Oh, yeah...your first ejaculation will probably be really clear and might contain some blood," Dr. mentions, "but this is normal and shouldn't cause any probems." This is the second most disturbing news received during our discussion.
November 30th finally arrives. My wife drops me off at the clinic. The nurse leads me to the surgery room which is just about the same as every other room in the clinic except for the old school leather and wood surgery table in the middle of the room.
I strip down to my socks, put on the awful hospital gown and hop on the table. The nurse inserts an IV needle into my left arm and says the Dr. will be in shortly. About 10 or 15 minutes passes before the Dr. and nurse enter the room.
The nurse hooks me up to some sort of adhesive wiring thing that is supposed to act as a ground for the cauterizing gun so I don't burst into flames. Being electrically grounded before surgery to your nads is awkward.
The Dr. lifts a needle from the table, tells me it's some drug called Versed and injects the full dose into the IV that's in my left arm. "This will have about the same effect as drinking six beers in two minutes," he tells me, "and it may cause amnesia."
"That's not necessarily a bad thing," I say. "This is something I can probably live without remembering."
The Versed kicked in just a few moments later and I can't remember shit about the following hour. The next thing I remember is my mule being untaped from my belly and the Dr. and nurse wrapping me with gauze while putting my tighty whities back on. They told me everything went well and helped me into the hallway where my wife was waiting to take me home.
The nurse showed me the containers containing the segments of my recently altered vas deferens.
"Can I have those?" A question that caught the nurse off guard.
After she OK'd it with the Dr., I took what was removed from my balls and went home.
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j220/DakotaTed/MVC-003F.jpg
Not much worth noting happened over the next few days. No swelling to the size of grapefruits. No passing out from pain and breaking my back on the kitchen counter. No horrific bleeding. Just a dull ache for about 24 hours and some discomfort caused by the stitches poking into my legs. Only took one of the wonderful prescription pain pills the night of the surgery to help me sleep. There just wasn't really any pain to speak of at all.
Went pheasant hunting two days later for about 3 hours with no ill effects.
No bloody ejaculations. That was a good thing.
Stitches dissolved and fell out within a week.
Everything was working fine. There were just two little lumps in my yambag now. One on each side. The shaved area, about the size of a poker chip on each teste, grew back in without incident.
Took a sample to the Dr. on 1/9/08 and got the all clear. Sperm count = 0.
Worry free banging kicks ass.
Anthony is a wuss.