Windows XP - Joisey Edition

[Sinn Fein]

This is kinda gay, but it made me chuckle once... I think.

This note is for youse guys outside the Garden State ---

Dear Consumas:
It has come ta our attention dat a cupola copies of the Windows XP New Joisey Edition may have been shipped outsida Joisey. If ya got one a dese, youse may need some help unnerstanin da commands.
Da Joisey edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads: "Windas XP", wit a background pitcha a Hoboken. When youse start da program, instead a da usual stringy like music, you hear a little Springsteen. It's also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.

Please also note:

Recycle bin is labeled "Newark"

My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa"

The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk"

Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked", "Erased" or "Rubbed Out"

Control Panel is known as "The Bosses"

Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "Enhancin' da Family Business" and will actually maximize da program instead a shuttin' it down

Hard Drive is referred to as "Da Turnpike on Da Way to Da Shore"

Instead of an error message, "You Ain't Gonna Friggin' Believe Dis'" pops up.

Changes in Terminology in Da Joisey Edition:
OK . . . . Sure ting
Cancel . . . . Fugetabouit
Reset . . . . Start ova
Yeah . . . . Yeas
No . . . . Nah
Find . . . . Put a Contract Out On
Browse . . . . Get a Looksee
Back . . . . U-Toin
Help . . . . Get Your Own Friggin' Ansa
Stop . . . . Knock it Off
Start . . . . Move it
Settings . . . . Here's da Rules

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you mistakenly got a copy of the Joisey Edition (not).

You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

You gotta problem wit dat?

[tattered]

aint dat da truth....us joisey people are odd.....we arent called the Armpit of america for nothing....jersey people are the biggest white trash this side of the mason dixon line and the fact that NJ has its own Mason Dixon line is incredible in its self....

[Sinn Fein]

I spend alot of time in the part of NJ that is below the Mason-Dixon line, and I like it there quite a bit. :)

[Stinkysteve]

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN NEW JERSEY...

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous
situation.
3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.
4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.
6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.
7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is a
no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.
8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.
11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in New Jersey
13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someonechanging a tire.
14. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
15. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.
16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.
17. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.
18. Real New Jersey women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at
seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
19. Real New Jersey men drivers can remove their girlfriend's panties and bra at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
20. In the New Jersey area 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.

[wackadoo]

holy shit steve!!! how true is that? i live just over the tacony/palmyra bridge in philly, and JUST ABOUT EVERY SINGLE TIME i get cut off or somebody does something really stupid, it is a jersey driver!!!:mad:

[PyThomas]

I've got a couple of cousins, born in Texas, who live in New Jersey now (Union City). One of them is about to turn 16. I can just imagine what he's going through in high school. Probably some Jersey-born kids raggin' on him the same way that tattered commented on my photos. :pp: :D