21 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

[Budyzir]

Caught this on another board, made me laugh while making some interesting points.

21 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

7. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

15. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

17. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

18. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

19. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

20. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

21. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

[jimmyjimjimz]

when was there a sex offender in the White House?

wasn't Monica Lewinsky 18 or 19?

[THE FEZ MAN]

:icon_roll

[FMDoug]

That could be the worst thing i've ever read. I could barely get through the first one and didn't make it through 10. It's obviously slanted, but not intelligently slanted. It reads and argues like a 10th grader wrote it.

[boodadude]

Sounds like EVERY funny email I get from customers down south except 10th graders are a little smarter and a little less sheep like

[AFA]

I thought it was quite humorous.

and of course it's going to be fucking slanted one way politically but please try and find one of those statements that aren't true.

[Ballbuster1]

:icon_rollMy sentiments exactly.

[nikoloslvy]

when was there a sex offender in the White House?

wasn't Monica Lewinsky 18 or 19?
did you miss the **** case's against the man?

loved the list.

[LiddyRules]

booooooooooooooo

[Fr. Dougal]

Funny because it's true.

[Sam_Adams]

21 ways to be a good Democrat? There is only 1 way to be a good Democrat and that's shooting yourself in the fucking head. :action-sm

[DonTheTrucker]

when was there a sex offender in the White House?

wasn't Monica Lewinsky 18 or 19?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathleen_Willey

[jimmyjimjimz]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathleen_Willey

There's nothing there about her age.


21 ways to be a good Democrat? There is only 1 way to be a good Democrat and that's shooting yourself in the fucking head. :action-sm

I'm a democrat, just to let you know, and no I'm not exactly insulted that you said that, but I do think it's really fucked up.

[Plunkies]

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i125/Blogger-Sandi/Misc/pot-kettle-black.jpg

[Digital_Trauma]

wasn't Monica Lewinsky 18 or 19?

There's nothing there about her age.why are you concerned with the age? The 21 Ways list doesn't say "pedophile"

[Myhairygrundle]

The list is kind of silly, but true.

Add to the list...

1. Believe that taking money from hard working folks (especially union workers) and giving it to people that refuse to work (through entitlement programs), is a good idea.

2. Believe that the best presidental candidates are an uppidy ninja (that hit me on the head with a shovel), and a man-hating cunt that's too weak to leave her husband who constantly cheats on her.

3. Believe that if you're nice to terrorists, they will be nice back.

[jimmyjimjimz]

why are you concerned with the age? The 21 Ways list doesn't say "pedophile"

it says sex offender, though, and if you're a sex offender, doesnt that mean you supposedly sexually assaulted an underage person?

[tourettesguy]

Disliking Democrats is trendy and makes you seem manlier.

(also slightly desperate and insecure.)

[ChimneyFish]

17. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.


Uuuummmm....yeeeeaaaahhhh



The lack of intelligence and the blind devotion to "Party Lines" is just downright depressing.

As a wise man once said, "They should just rename it 'Carnieville'".

[DonTheTrucker]

I love how every retort to this list includes a personal insult to the effect of "you're stupid".

22. Reply to every valid point made against you with a personal attack?

It's a stupid mass email, lighten up Francis (all of you Francises....)

[FMDoug]

and of course it's going to be fucking slanted one way politically but please try and find one of those statements that aren't true.

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

Well, first off, you don't have to be against capital punishment or pro abortion to be a good democrat. But I'll just assume that's the case. It's unintelligent because the premise is wrong. It outright assumes that the democratics believe in life and at the same time, somehow believe that death is ok.

It doesn't ask why democrats agree with abortion (if they do). Most think that the embryo is not alive. If the embryo isn't alive you aren't killing anything. So the taking of a life through capital punishment isn't the same as taking something that was never alive and removing it from a woman.

Plus I think it will be pretty hard to find a democrat who doesn't believe in capital punishment. They are out there, but that isn't a popular opinion.

That is just one example.

It's like me saying, why do the republicans believe in war and not abortion. One you take life, one you keep it. It boils down two completely different issues into a cohesive falsity.

And that is just one example. While the list is cute, it's intellectually idiotic.

[DonTheTrucker]

23. Have no fucking sense of humor.

[AFA]

23. Have no fucking sense of humor.

:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

[ChimneyFish]

"Ya might be a democrat...."

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c217/luxa1/1_61_foxworthy_jeff.jpg

[Mort]

it says sex offender, though, and if you're a sex offender, doesnt that mean you supposedly sexually assaulted an underage person?

No.

A sex offender is anyone convicted of a sex-related crime. You can **** anyone of any age.

Kinda like the "all cats are animals, but not all animals are cats" logic.

And I like #23 the best. It seems to be the truest.

[Fr. Dougal]

The list is kind of silly, but true.

Add to the list...

1. Believe that taking money from hard working folks (especially union workers) and giving it to people that refuse to work (through entitlement programs), is a good idea.

2. Believe that the best presidental candidates are an uppidy ninja (that hit me on the head with a shovel), and a man-hating cunt that's too weak to leave her husband who constantly cheats on her.

3. Believe that if you're nice to terrorists, they will be nice back.

2 is silly, but 1 and 3 are dead-on-balls accurate.

[Snapman]

The list is kind of silly, but true.

Add to the list...

1. Believe that taking money from hard working folks (especially union workers) and giving it to people that refuse to work (through entitlement programs), is a good idea.

2. Believe that the best presidental candidates are an uppidy ninja (that hit me on the head with a shovel), and a man-hating cunt that's too weak to leave her husband who constantly cheats on her.

3. Believe that if you're nice to terrorists, they will be nice back.

4. Believe that phrases like "nappy headed hos" are offensive slurs and justification for being fired, yet comparing Bush to Hitler makes you patriotic.

5. Believe that the entire U.S. military is responsible for Abu Ghraib, yet the 9/11 attacks were committed by a few individuals who do not represent Islam.

[Wilmington WOW]

http://forum.alsacreations.com/upload/2043-fail-camera.jpg

[Capt.Caveman]

4. Believe that phrases like "nappy headed hos" are offensive slurs and justification for being fired, yet comparing Bush to Hitler makes you patriotic.

5. Believe that the entire U.S. military is responsible for Abu Ghraib, yet the 9/11 attacks were committed by a few individuals who do not represent Islam.

:clap::clap:

Believe that voting for someone solely because they are black is ok, but voting for someone because they're white is racist.

Believe that being a republican makes you a rich white elitist and at the same time racist trailor trash.

Believe that democrats will save the world, but make excuses for lack of military actions by carter and clinton.

Blame Bush for everything

[Jolie]

Well, first off, you don't have to be against capital punishment or pro abortion to be a good democrat. But I'll just assume that's the case. It's unintelligent because the premise is wrong. It outright assumes that the democratics believe in life and at the same time, somehow believe that death is ok.

It doesn't ask why democrats agree with abortion (if they do). Most think that the embryo is not alive. If the embryo isn't alive you aren't killing anything. So the taking of a life through capital punishment isn't the same as taking something that was never alive and removing it from a woman.

Plus I think it will be pretty hard to find a democrat who doesn't believe in capital punishment. They are out there, but that isn't a popular opinion.

That is just one example.

It's like me saying, why do the republicans believe in war and not abortion. One you take life, one you keep it. It boils down two completely different issues into a cohesive falsity.

And that is just one example. While the list is cute, it's intellectually idiotic.


HI!!! Im a democrat that doesnt believe in capital punishment.

I do, however, believe in a womans right to choose in abortion cases, because as stated above, I don't believe that an embryo is alive.

[Sinn Fein]

Funny because it's true.

QFMFT!

[Capt.Caveman]

HI!!! Im a democrat that doesnt believe in capital punishment.

I do, however, believe in a womans right to choose in abortion cases, because as stated above, I don't believe that an embryo is alive.

but your an admitted sissy liberal so your opinion doesn't count:action-sm

[Myhairygrundle]

HI!!! Im a democrat that doesnt believe in capital punishment.

I do, however, believe in a womans right to choose in abortion cases, because as stated above, I don't believe that an embryo is alive.


So it's dead? Maybe after the doctor puts a fork in it's brain and puts it down the sink. Why not just admit that it's alive, but you're are ok with killing it?

Yea, this is a big can of worms...when does life begin? Conception, 3rd month, 9th month, when it's out of the womb?

I think most folks agree life begins at conception, scientifically speaking.

[Fr. Dougal]

So it's dead? Maybe after the doctor puts a fork in it's brain and puts it down the sink. Why not just admit that it's alive, but you're are ok with killing it?

Yea, this is a big can of worms...when does life begin? Conception, 3rd month, 9th month, when it's out of the womb?

I think most folks agree life begins at conception, scientifically speaking.

You're right, scientifically speaking, it is conception. Sperm on it's own can't develop into a human. An egg on it's own can't either. But once you have conception, the embryo is already on the path.

[Snapman]

:clap::clap:
Believe that being a republican makes you a rich white elitist and at the same time racist trailor trash.

Believe that Bush misled the world about WMDs and at the same time is also a total idiot.

Believe that the same government that can't "secure the road from the airport to downtown Baghdad" should be in charge of granting every citizen health care.

[Myhairygrundle]

Believe that Bush misled the world about WMDs and at the same time is also a total idiot.

Believe that the same government that can't "secure the road from the airport to downtown Baghdad" should be in charge of granting every citizen health care.

Exactly, the price of stamps has never gone up, so they really can control the cost of health care.

The government does such a good job of running the Post Office, airport security, so why not add doctors to the mix?

And my tax forms are soooo simple, so I would imagine that their health care paperwork would be so much better.

[Capt.Caveman]

Believe that hiring a minority based on race is a good thing, but not hiring a minority for acting like a stereotype is bad