WWE-May 2008 Thread

[jimmyjimjimz]

Fuck! I was really hoping that was the introduction of Ted Sr. as the new GM

maybe he still is gonna be the new GM.

I'd like to see him on TV more. That would be nice. Hopefully if he's not GM, he's his son's manager, and he brings back the million dollar corporation.

Another fuckin Sirius commercial is on, and I still haven't seen a fuckin XM commercial since christmas.

[Cherry Pie]

lol santino

[Steam]

Jimminy Kimmel

[CM Mark]

HAHAHAHA!!!! Piper rules. "Club him like a baby seal"

[Steam]

Mickie's ideas suck.

[O&APartyRock24]

MICKIE!

and JBL

[Steam]

5 hours of prime time "entertainment"?

ECW?

[WhiteHonkyDevil]

Oh boy, a wiggger, a flaming douchebag, a dumb samoan with a huge retard ass, and boner-juice hawking Texan with the charisma of of syphilis.

Can't wait for THIS tag match.

[CM Mark]

5 hours of prime time "entertainment"?

ECW?

I don't even think there is a total of one hour of actual entertainment on all three shows combined.

[atxklown]

I've been looking but I cannot find that bit where Ted was on the Bible Network and he said "Everyone has a Christ, HA Ha ha ha ha ha"

[Cherry Pie]

HA JBL made the ashley escort joke

[WhiteHonkyDevil]

Put your arms down, faggot

[O&APartyRock24]

He didnt dodge a fire though

[CM Mark]

I've been looking but I cannot find that bit where Ted was on the Bible Network and he said "Everyone has a Christ, HA Ha ha ha ha ha"

Die. Just die

[Cherry Pie]

when did jeff dodge bullets?

[WhiteHonkyDevil]

http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa97/jamalyusseffaltainir/Boris1.jpg

Not impressed.

[Cherry Pie]

well so far this raw sucked but ooo kennedy









kennedy!

[Steam]

So, Kennedy was Regal's dealer?

That's an interesting development.

[Steam]

Yummy

[jimmyjimjimz]

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Incest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cherry Pie]

::humps screen::

[Steam]

"Epic Announcement"?

More like EPIC FAIL, I'm sure.

[Cherry Pie]

"Epic Announcement"?

More like EPIC FAIL, I'm sure.

the shockmasterrrrrrrrugggggggh!

[WhiteHonkyDevil]

Nice to see "The Truth" has given up all hope of credibility and is making a mockery of itself.

Incest? WtF did I miss? I took a shower....

[WhiteHonkyDevil]

Why do all 1st Sgts look alike?

That's weird.

[Cherry Pie]

Nice to see "The Truth" has given up all hope of credibility and is making a mockery of itself.

Incest? WtF did I miss? I took a shower....

katie lea came out and burchill jumped kennedy

[atxklown]

bill bailey, wow Axl Rose sure let himself go

[Cherry Pie]

WWE sure knows how tug them heart strings

[Steam]

The only thing that made that not a total epic fail was Mickie in that skirt.

[Cherry Pie]

well what a shitty raw kennedy and y2j HBK match were the highlights

[O&APartyRock24]

well what a shitty raw kennedy and y2j HBK match were the highlights

x2

And Mickie

[Cherry Pie]

mickie looked fiiiiiiine

[Stormrider666]

The only thing that made that not a total epic fail was Mickie in that skirt.

That was one of the first things I noticed. Did anybody notice Triple H wearing the full DX gear, as if he was about to have a match.

Also did anybody else hear JR say that the Last Man Standing match on Sunday was the first one him and Lawler were going to witness.

Ah the annual WWE draft lottery, where the Smackdown roster gets gutted more than it already is.

So the beneficary of Regal's suspension is a mid-carder who's gimmick was abandoned a couple of weeks after his debut.

I wonder if Teddy Hart is sitting at home, thinking what could have been since it looks like the second generation wrestlers are about to get a decent push.

I wasn't really expecting a big annoucement, but talk about a show falling flat.(except the Jericho/Micheals match) The show didn't even make it to 11:05.

[flyerfan116]

Didn't see Raw...who's the new GM?

[Stormrider666]

Didn't see Raw...who's the new GM?

They didn't annouce one yet. I still think Regal should get the gig, once he comes back from suspension.

[flyerfan116]

They didn't annouce one yet. I still think Regal should get the gig, once he comes back from suspension.

yeah but 60 days is a long time gonna need someone in the interim. Love Regal as GM

[Stormrider666]

yeah but 60 days is a long time gonna need someone in the interim. Love Regal as GM

Not really. If they have shows like they did last night, not having a GM is the least of their worries.

[flyerfan116]

Not really. If they have shows like they did last night, not having a GM is the least of their worries.

sounds like i didn't miss anything..good deal

[Stormrider666]

sounds like i didn't miss anything..good deal

I'll give you the rundown:

annoucement of draft/money will be given away to fans on a weekly basis
The push of Melina as face
Jimmy Kimmel comedy segment in the middle of the show
the introduction of Ted Dibiase's son
showdown between Triple H/Randy Orton
good match between Jericho/Micheals

That's about it.

[flyerfan116]

ugh..thanks for the update can't get wrestling sites at work...that sounds horrid...and now Vince is gonna pay people to watch?

[Cherry Pie]

Yes Raw was lackluster last night WWE better shape up.

[Cherry Pie]

so far im lovin this ECW

[askewcore]

ECW was on last night? My f'ing tivo didnt record it. This is probably a silly question, but was it any good?

[Cherry Pie]

ECW was on last night? My f'ing tivo didnt record it. This is probably a silly question, but was it any good?

yes better than raw knox got busted open by lofi. no broads (i was mad) the main event could have been good but they did the DQ ending

[O&APartyRock24]

CM Punk Update-
Major Backstage Update On CM Punk - Major Heat?
05/28/2008 by Ryan Clark

It's safe to say that many wrestling fans have been scratching their heads since WrestleMania 24 as to why CM Punk has been on a noticeable losing streak on both TV and Pay Per View. After all, this is the guy holding a briefcase for a World Title shot of his choosing.

According to a new report by Bryan Alvarez in The Figure Four Weekly, there are some possibilities as to why this has been taking place recently.

It should be noted first that Punk was never scheduled to win the "Money in the Bank" Ladder Match at WrestleMania 24 as the obvious frontrunner and planned winner was Jeff Hardy until he was suspended 60 days for violating the WWE Wellness Policy a second time. The decision to have Punk was last minute as the company had no real plans for him to win the match and receive a major push.

For whatever reason, Punk has some major heat with many individuals in the WWE. Some of the reasons are considered valid, while others are quite frankly just flat out stupid (one of these being that he has been buried for refusing to go out and drink alcohol with the other wrestlers). Those who have known Punk for a while have stated he has a tendency to rub people the wrong way and that this dates back to his early career working the independent scene.

Another reason Punk may have heat is the fact that he was built up quite a bit on the independent scene and now there is a desire to prove that he was "overrated" to those who never saw a thing in him or his character. One WWE source has stated that Punk's career could take the path of Matt Hardy where he would get small pushes here and there and always be used, but he will likely never break through as a top guy. WWE writer Christopher DeJoseph (who plays the Big Dick Johnson/fat oily guy character) has been moved into a leadership role on ECW and is said to be very high on Punk. However, since Punk appears to be on everyone's you-know-what list lately, it appears that may not happen and this could explain his recent string of losses and being buried.

Punk lost on ECW last night to Chavo Guerrero.

[mikeybot]

Why care what the crowd reaction is to him though.
Douches.

[Stormrider666]

I guess people's fears on this board about the WWE's use of CM Punk in recent weeks have been justified. If the WWE wasn't going to do the right thing with Punk after he won MITB, they could have just had either Jericho or Kennedy win it instead. Once again, the WWE proves that coming up with shit at the last moment is not one of their strong points.

[RMM46]

I love the brilliance. "We dont like CM Punk & don't think he can succeed, so we will job him out to prove ourselves right."

Naturally, they wouldn't just give him the chance to fail. Is it b/c they know he won't, and they'll be proven wrong?

Either way, it just doesn't make sense & is a waste of the MITB.

But not for nothing, this is just another reaon why Jeff Hardy doesn't deserve another shot at the top. B/c of him, the WWE is in this situation with Punk.

I thought it was odd that he won MITB, then went on a 2-10 streak.

[Jimmy's Dignity]

Just watched Raw...so funny seeing HHH walk out of the ring, only to realize halfway down the stairs that he forgot the belt.

Melina as a face I like...she's hot and the I Quit match against Beth could actually be a good match. Diva-lishously Extreme? I hope JR gets hit with another case of Bell's Palsey in the middle of calling a match.

Jericho's IC title reign...completely pointless. Damned shame Hardy got suspended and they didn't get to go with that angle, would have been a good one to see. Instead he's in a program with HBK but he may as well not even bring out the IC title. Cryme Tyme stealin' shit is always amusing, but I'd like to see them work more in the ring.

a tag-title defense? After not defending once in over 4 months, Hardy & Rhodes are defending it twice in May? I'm shocked. Who cares about whether or not Cody has much in common with his dad? I know I don't. Can you talk more about the match and less about Dusty? I like the skin-the-cat into the Alabama Slam. TED!!! DiBiase fucking rules. Is he going to be a manager for his son? Who's going to be his tag partner? If they go DiBiase Jr. & DH Smith with Ted as the manager it could be cool...I guess that makes sense as to why they kept hammering the 2nd Generation superstar for Cody. I guess that means Dusty will wind up being in their corner (whoever "they" are)

Cousin Sal training segment? Love Piper, but...yeah, couldn't this have just been a WWE.com exclusive? Mickie looks hot, as per usual. :haha7: :haha7: :haha7: :haha7: JBL with the Escort Service joke...shoulda been Ashley making the pitch to Vince instead of Mickie. Great, now Mickie's going to be having an on-screen relationship with Cena. At least that'll make his appearances more palatable

JBL/Umaga vs. Cena/Hardy. Meh...not bad, but not great. Looked like they were 1/2 a step off, but who cares. I think the First Blood & Falls Count Anywhere are going to be good on Sunday.

Are they going to make up their minds as to who's going to be the heel and who's going to be the face in this Jericho-HBK feud? I still can't make up my mind who's which "whaa" Mexican trip? I wonder if they still had Super Crazy do the job...Hah...the X-adores. Wonder if they kept those Luchador DX masks.

If/when Regal comes back, he's got a feud with Kennedy built in, unless Kennedy's program with Burchill lasts that long. Hopefully it does...cause Katie Lea is hot and I love Burchill's curb stomp finisher. As for the Kennedy-Carlito match...it was good, I like how the Mic Check is turning into a true lights-out finisher.

TLC is 'Taker leaves WWE if he loses? Gee I wonder who's going to win that one? Unless Undertaker has finally decided that he wants to retire...but I doubt that. I guess that's one way to do it...

Maybe Jericho will lose his IC title at some point in the near future due to HBK interference? I don't think they'll ever put the title on the line between these two...Shawn probably thinks it's beneath him. Maybe Jericho interferes during the Stretcher match & clocks him in the head with the belt. Damned good match...like Jericho putting him in the Walls on the outside twice...but not hitting him with the chair is a pisser because it doesn't turn him full heel. Hand-up...one of these two are turning heel either on Sunday or next Monday.

Draft announcement...maybe we'll see a more equitable redistribution of talent, although I highly doubt it. To further the Cena-Mickie "relationship-to-be," she was holding his hand on the stage before Vince came out. I hope that we get Victoria back on Raw...she's too good of a worker to be on the show w/o the Woman's title. Hahahahahahhaa, Vince with the Russian Stripper voice! I wonder if this $1 million giveaway is tax-deductible for him? I know you can give away up to $12,000 per individual without it affecting your Gift Tax status...it'll be interesting


Now on to ECW...Adamle using NFL analogies, eh. He used to be in the NFL, I guess they may as well have him do that.

Shocked that Dreamer-Big Show lasted more than 5 moves. I like that they showed Show winning over RVD...I wonder when/if they're going to wish RVD & his colon-cancer havin' wife good luck?

hahaha, Shelton. "He looks like the Monkey-man from Bloodsport!" I like Mike Knox as a wrestler...if he had any sort of personality, he could be damned good. Kofi's through-the-ropes escape/kick was fuckin' sweet. Knox's finisher is sweet too.

Punk vs. Chavo was a damned good match, but you've gotta be kidding me with this. I guess his years in the independent scent didn't have him pay his dues enough? I would say it's infuriating, but it's more so just plain ol' disheartening. At least Punk didn't lose 100% clean, but c'mon...throw the kid a bone. At least let him be .500 after winning the biggest match of his life.

I may never make it to Wrestlemania, and I'm damned sure that I don't want to ever make it to Starcade...hahahahha :D

Lena Yada is hot.

Miz-Morrison vs. Kane...yeah yeah, whatever.

I thought it was odd that he won MITB, then went on a 2-10 streak.
it's horrible. Does that include his win via DQ over Chuck Palumbo? Maybe they're going to have him blow the MITB on the ECW title to completely negate the point of winning MITB. Maybe they could bring back the European title and he could use it for that instead :icon_roll

[RMM46]

it's horrible. Does that include his win via DQ over Chuck Palumbo? Maybe they're going to have him blow the MITB on the ECW title to completely negate the point of winning MITB. Maybe they could bring back the European title and he could use it for that instead :icon_roll

Make that 3-10.

Or something like that.

[O&APartyRock24]

Raw Rating Tanking- Hopefully this will be a wake up call and they will produce better material.
Another Alarming WWE RAW Rating
05/28/2008 by Brian Cantor

(Source: PWInsider.com)

WWE better hope its million dollar giveaway and draft announcements revitalize the product, as the most recent RAW rating reflects a dangerous trend.

While some viewership loss could be blamed on the Memorial Day holiday, the 2.9 rating for the show is still well below any historical trend. Aside from major holiday editions of RAW, the only show to have done worse since 1997 was the October 8, 2007 show (2.8) that went against Monday Night Football and an MLB playoff game.

The show did hours of 2.87 and 2.94, with only three segments hopping the 3.0 barrier.

[Cherry Pie]

Lena yada is not hot

[Jimmy's Dignity]

I like ninjas. She's no fucking Gail Kim, but I need my ninja-fix

[Cherry Pie]

I like ninjas. She's no fucking Gail Kim, but I need my ninja-fix

ok fair enuff

[nitron]

But not for nothing, this is just another reaon why Jeff Hardy doesn't deserve another shot at the top. B/c of him, the WWE is in this situation with Punk.


They could have kept Jeff around until Wrestlemania then suspend him.

[AndrewDiceGay]

I don't believe a word of the Punk being in the doghouse story.

It's what the newz sites go to when they have slow news. As far as their sources go, I think the WWE has effectively squished the bugs with the Lagana firing. Lagana was the main source for the dirtsheets, and I bet a lot of the hacks are worried about their job security. Take Punk's recent streak of losses and it's easy to come up with horseshit.

The WWE wouldn't put the MITB on someone they had no plans for, especially when Kennedy, Jericho, and to an extent, Morrison were also in that match.

And for what it's worth, every time a Punk in the doghouse story comes out, he all of a sudden gets a huge push. Let's wait this one out.

[Cherry Pie]

I don't believe a word of the Punk being in the doghouse story.

It's what the newz sites go to when they have slow news. As far as their sources go, I think the WWE has effectively squished the bugs with the Lagana firing. Lagana was the main source for the dirtsheets, and I bet a lot of the hacks are worried about their job security. Take Punk's recent streak of losses and it's easy to come up with horseshit.

The WWE wouldn't put the MITB on someone they had no plans for, especially when Kennedy, Jericho, and to an extent, Morrison were also in that match.

And for what it's worth, every time a Punk in the doghouse story comes out, he all of a sudden gets a huge push. Let's wait this one out.

that was the smartest thing anyone has ever said about anything ever

[O&APartyRock24]

I don't believe a word of the Punk being in the doghouse story.

It's what the newz sites go to when they have slow news. As far as their sources go, I think the WWE has effectively squished the bugs with the Lagana firing. Lagana was the main source for the dirtsheets, and I bet a lot of the hacks are worried about their job security. Take Punk's recent streak of losses and it's easy to come up with horseshit.

The WWE wouldn't put the MITB on someone they had no plans for, especially when Kennedy, Jericho, and to an extent, Morrison were also in that match.

And for what it's worth, every time a Punk in the doghouse story comes out, he all of a sudden gets a huge push. Let's wait this one out.

:clap::clap::clap:

Very good point sir, very good point. :clap::clap:

[Cherry Pie]

http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll202/KinkyKitty630/0000.jpg

[commish13]

Ya know, normally it would be considered quite ridiculous to put something in your signature if you would deem it NSFW tag worthy.

[Cherry Pie]

Ya know, normally it would be considered quite ridiculous to put something in your signature if you would deem it NSFW tag worthy.

i was confused but i like your show! i dident at first then i heard the one about mark henry looking like a fat 6 year old girl hahahaha

[commish13]

He really does look like just a stubborn fat little girl who isn't getting her way.

[Cherry Pie]

He really does look like just a stubborn fat little girl who isn't getting her way.

it just reminded me of my neighbor i had such a laff my stomach hurt

[O&APartyRock24]

Ya know, normally it would be considered quite ridiculous to put something in your signature if you would deem it NSFW tag worthy.
x2

Smackdown Spoilers--
(Spoilers) - WWE SmackDown Taping Results


Written by: Andy Stevens - May 28th, 2008

This week's edition of WWE Friday Night SmackDown was taped at the World Arena Colorado Springs, Colorado. Special thanks to PWMania.com reader & member KP aka "Master Vorr" for sending in the following results. Remember if you are attending a WWE event in the near future and would be interested in assisting us with reports and results, email me.

Notes:
Most of the arena was full, with only a few empty seats here and there towards the upper bowl.

WWE Friday Night SmackDown:
As SmackDown! starts, Edge appears on the Titantron announcing that throughout the evening, he will be showcasing the impressive career of The Undertaker, as this will be his last night on SmackDown, and he is the special guest for 'The Cutting Edge' later in the evening.

Batista comes out to the ring first, and talks about his match with Shawn Michaels this sunday. He is interrupted by Vickie, who is accompanied by Hawkins & Ryder. The two argue back and forth, and untimately Vickie decides to put Batista in a tag match against Hawkins & Ryder. Batista must find a partner of his choosing, or it will be a handicap match.

First match of the night was U.S. Champion Matt Hardy against Elijah Burke (non-title, I'm pretty sure). Decent opener with Hardy pinning Elijah after the Twist of Fate.

Next was Finlay with Hornswoggle going 1-one-1 with Chuck Palumbo. Finlay won via a DQ after Chuck attacked him with a chain from his bike.

Then John Morrison with The Miz faced off against CM Punk. Pretty good match featuring the ECW talent. Punk defeated Morrison via pinfall after the GTS.

At some point backstage MVP was being interviewed and Jamie Noble interferred... (Don't ask why, because nobody here cared.) The segment ended with MVP telling Noble off, and Noble vowing that he could beat Montel in the ring, and that he would talk to Vickie about it. Later on, he did just that, whilst interrupting a conversation between Hawkins, Ryder, & Vickie, and was granted his match, then thrown out of the office.

Batista came to the ring for his tag match or handicap match next. After Hawkins and Ryder made it to the ring, Batista got on the mic to announce his partner by saying, "I don't need a partner." Vickie came out to the stage again to mock Big Dave, only to be surprised by Big Show making an appearance. The match is now a tag team. Batista and Show win after a Showstopper & Batista Bomb. Easily the best match of the night.

Montel Vontavius Porter went up against Jamie Noble next, with MVP showing off how much of a star he is by man-handling Noble around the ring. MVP gets the clean win after a very short match.

Tonight's bathroom break match was brought to us by Vladimir Kozlov vs. Shannon Moore. Funny how people around us thought that Shannon was a jobber. The squash ended with Kozlov getting the pin as usual.

Somewhere again backstage, Cherry was getting checked over in the trainer's room, sporting a nice bruise on her face, when Maryse walked in. Words were exchanged, and a match was up next.

Michelle McCool vs. Maryse w/ Deuce and Domino. Towards the end of the match Cherry's music plays and she comes out to the ramp, distracting Maryse long enough for Michelle to get the submission and the win.

Cutting Edge segment - World Title hanging above the ring, with Ladder and Table set up, and chairs in the corners. Edge talked alot about the same old same old, then introduced the Deadman. Once Taker was in the ring, the two circled around the ladder, looking up at the title, with Edge saying how Taker might not be so comfortable with TLC equipment around. With that, Edge called out La Familia (Chavo, Bam Neely, Hawkins, & Ryder) who wheeled out a casket. Undertaker chased Edge from the ring, and got jumped and beat down on the outside. After a while of this going back and forth, Edge nails Taker with a chair and is able to roll him into the casket. Edge then climbed up the ladder, saying that Undertaker better get used to staying burried, as his last match would be this sunday. Then the lights went out. On tv this'll probably look different, but live from ringside you could see Undertaker roll out from underneath the ring, probably from a trap door in the casket, run in and climb the up the ladder. When the lights came back on Edge was eye to eye with the Phenom. Taker knocked Edge down and proceeded to fight with Hawkins and Ryder again. Just when it looked like Edge was going to get chokeslammed through the table, Hawkins /or Ryder (can't tell them apart) intervened and was rewarded with a Last Ride through the table as Edge backed up the ramp.

That is where I believe SmackDown went off the air, but the action didn't stop there. La Familia ran back in the ring again to gang up on The Undertaker, and just as he was getting overwhelmed again, Kane came out to help his brother. The Brothers of Destruction double-chokeslammed Hawkins and Ryder, then Bam Neely was chokeslammed by Kane as Edge was Tombstoned by Undertaker. Kane and Taker walked up the ramp, posed, and the show was over.

All in all, not too bad for a SmackDown. Colorado definetly needs a PPV here.
More to come later--

[Cherry Pie]

shup party rock http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll202/KinkyKitty630/00000-1.jpghttp://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll202/KinkyKitty630/000000.jpghttp://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll202/KinkyKitty630/0000000.jpg

[ratedRsuperstar]

i haven't even watched or even dvr'd wrestling in like three weeks. i think i may have finally weened myself completely off of it. thanks gta 4!

[Cherry Pie]

i haven't even watched or even dvr'd wrestling in like three weeks. i think i may have finally weened myself completely off of it. thanks gta 4!

Didnt miss much am i still on ignore?

[Aizazzle]

Didnt miss much am i still on ignore?

<<<<<<<<< is really confused


:martianvirus:

[Cherry Pie]

<<<<<<<<< is really confused


:martianvirus:

rated r said he put me on his ignor list intill im 18 lol

[RMM46]

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/sports/wrestling/blog/2008/05/qa_with_santino_marella.html

Q&A with Santino Marella

I’ve been interviewing pro wrestlers for well over a decade, and almost every one has been a “shoot.” Yesterday, however, I conducted a phone interview with Santino Marella, and it was one of the rare occasions when the subject did the entire interview in character. From the moment he greeted me in his exaggerated Italian accent, I knew I was in store for a fun conversation. Just keep in mind as you’re reading his responses that he is saying it in his “Santino Marella voice.”

I’m a big fan of Santino’s Casa on wwe.com. Do you pick the topics for the segment? And do you write the material or do you collaborate with writers?

I don’t pick the topics. I work with some writers, but we work together and they give me some freedom.

Has there been any talk of you bringing Santino’s Casa to TV as a regular segment?

There are some – what do you call it? – preliminary talks, but I guess they they want to see how the Casa develops and evolves, and maybe one day you’re going to see Santino’s Pit or something.

Speaking of Santino’s Pit, what it’s been like working with Roddy Piper, and what’s going to happen with this Cousin Sal?

You see, I was a Hulkamaniac growing up, so I know what Rodney the Piper is capable of, OK? And I was also a fan of Mr. T. So, although I respect Roddy Piper for his legendary accomplishments, he’s always been on the other side of the court, so to speak. Now, this Cousin Loser Sal – is this a joke for me? I’m a world class athlete. I beat Umaga in the past. This guy is like swatting a mosquito. But I’m not going to knock him off quickly or make him submit quickly. This is absolutely a lesson. I’m sending a lesson to Hollywood: You stay there, and we are going stay here and come there! Basically, this is going to be legal torture. He’s going to have to change his panties when I’m finished.

You obviously have great comedic timing. Do you have any background in comedy or are you just naturally funny?

People always told me when I was growing up that, “You are so funny person; you should be in movies and comedy and all this.” When the teacher in class tells you to stop being a class clown, there’s no job for this – ha, I guess there is.

I know that you have an MMA background and that you did a shootfighter gimmick when you were in developmental. Was it hard to make the transition from that type of character to a comedic character?

Not really, because there is a dichotomy within Santino Marella. Santino Marella can pretty much destroy anyone he meets. But there’s also that comedy component. So, at this particular time, I’m doing this component. Hopefully, one day the two can become one, and then I’ll be more dangerous. I’ll still be entertaining and pretty much be the best thing ever next to sliced bread – and I don’t mean Brian Kendrick’s finishing move. Because that’s called Sliced Bread – did you know that?

Sliced Bread No. 2, right?

Oh, it’s No. 2? Maybe you know more than me (laughs).

You mentioned your character becoming more dangerous. Do you really see that happening? Because I think the character would be more over if the character was more of a threat in the ring.

I think that’s just a natural evolution, because the more popular a character becomes, people want to see him competing for something worth competing for. In order to do that, they must allow my real ability to choke people, armlock people, leglock people and smash people on their heads. It must – this is a good word – permeate through the character. You like that word – permeate?

Yes, that’s a good word. Luckily, I have my dictionary here. Looking back at your WWE debut, it seemed like the idea was to create an instant babyface star with your win over Umaga. Why do you think that didn’t really get over?

Let me put it to you this way, Kevin. People like chocolate bars, right? What’s your favorite chocolate bar?

Uh, I guess I’m partial to Snickers.

OK, so I say to you, “Kevin, wake up, time to eat a Snickers. Oh, you like it? Have another Snickers, Kevin. Hey, don’t slow down with those Snickers – have three more.” Kevin, how long is it going to take before you don’t like Snickers?

I guess I’d get sick of them pretty quickly.

There you go. You can’t force-feed somebody. They must desire Snickers. Currently, you like Snickers because it’s your choice to go eat one. So now that Santino Marella is people’s choice to go indulge in him, it’s more popular.

I think you had the best gimmick in the company – being paired up with Maria. What was it like working with her?

Maria was a very nice chapter. We appreciate the opportunity to be together; we had lots of fun. She has very soft skin and smells nice. But, at the end of the day, Maria is just a chick. You know, I love Maria, but for people like me – I’m not sure about you, Kevin – they come and go like nothing. I am the true meaning of international playboy.

Can you talk about the infamous incident in which Jim Cornette slapped you because he thought you were laughing at an inappropriate time when you were in OVW?

Jim Cornette is a loser. Jim Cornette is an insecure person. And controversy creates cash, so maybe one day, Jim Cornette, I’m going to wrap that cheap tennis racquet around you neck. I’d like to have a cage match with Jim Cornette. I’ll put that out on the Worldwide Web right now. Jim Cornette is a misunderstanding person. Look, I’m watching wrestling in the audience – make it very clear – just in the audience. My daughter is sitting in front of me. Boogeyman turns to us, [and] I think, “OK, he’s going to do me a favor because maybe he knows I’m a student in this OVW school, so he’s going to scare my daughter for me, and treat my daughter to an experience.” So I’m happy. If your daughter is going to get an experience like this, you’re going to be happy as a father, right?

Sure, I would be.

Of course, there you go. So you are just as guilty as me then, Kevin, so Jim Cornette would have slapped you, too. Do you deserve it? No, because you are a good person. So anyway, this loser took advantage of a situation because he knew I would not hit him back because I was a student. He freaked out and he slapped me several times. I did nothing because I think to myself: “I am not American citizen. I don’t have green card. If I punch this guy, shatter his face the way my punches can actually do, then I’m going to be kicked out of the country.” You can’t just show up somewhere and start breaking skulls, Kevin. It doesn’t work like that. But now that I’m in a position to challenge him to a cage match, I make an official challenge to Jim Cornette for the first time, right now, right here.

OK, we’ll see if he answers.

Of course not. He’s a coward, Kevin.

You have a pretty interesting story as to how you got into pro wrestling. Can you talk about that?

I was under the understanding that you go to Japan, and you do good and then people notice you and bring you to America. So I went there with my vast judo background and my fighting ability. I have to really stress that I am a very, very serious fighter – it’s not comedy. So, I go there and I beat up lots of people, things are going great. I’m doing MMA and working for a good company called Battlearts. I don’t realize that you have to leave the country every 90 days. So, I made one mistake. I don’t leave the country for 94 days, and they say, “I’m sorry. You can’t come back.” At first it was for five years, but the law changed and it was for one year. So, here you are a young man, all the talent in the galaxy, trying to make it in this business and all of a sudden your plans just do a 180-degree turn. So, I have to reformulate my game plan, and we went to United States for school and it worked out pretty good.

There is more of an MMA influence in pro wrestling these days. Do you see the business continuing to move in that direction?

As a business, no. Some of the in-ring techniques? Probably. I saw one match where CM Punk was fighting like from the guard. It’s happening. The more it does, the better for me, because that’s where I come from.

The One Night Stand pay-per-view show is coming up Sunday. You aren’t on that show, correct?

Currently, I am actually not booked for that show. But I will be watching that show very carefully because there are some matches that are of particular interest to me, namely Randy Orton and Triple H. It’s no mistake that Randy Orton is my friend. So the more power he has, the better for Santino Marella. There’s just going to be some good fights. I want to see the girls. That’s going to be a good one, too.

Santino, I can honestly say this is one of the most entertaining interviews I’ve ever done.

Thank you, Kevin. It was a real pleasure for you to talk to me.

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