Getting Involved With an Addict

[Voss's Tumor]

Figured there's enough of you here, you could lend me some insight.

Ran in to a girl I literally hadn't seen since Jr High. Always kind of had a crush on her, we kind of ran in the same circles, just never really materialized in to anything. She still looks good, still fun to hang out with, we still get along really well.

She's 2 years sober from meth, and still one of those people who surrounds herself with almost exclusively people from "the group". She does all the meetings, she gives speeches, the whole 9. "The group" is her social life.

My concern isn't relapse. I know her to be a strong person, and I know her lessons have been learned. My concern is that she's surrounded 90% of the time by these NA fucking losers who're just a month or 2 in, she's concerned with their sobriety, etc, and it's a constant string of her helping constantly and it wears her the fuck down to the point where she feels like she's on the same level with the just out of prison douche bags she's trying to help.

Talked to a buddy of mine who's like 8 years off Heroin, he says it's normal, that people tend to lose friends with the 12 steps because it becomes their lives, but to me it more seems like she's just replaced her addiction by being addicted to the drama of the group.

I drink, I smoke the occasional bowl with friends, I've tried coke maybe 4-5 times in my life, and I've never had a problem walking away from any of it when the times came to do so. We went out the other night and I ordered a couple of rounds of Scotch for me simply because we were taking a table in a nice restaurant and I felt bad for the waitress refilling free drinks, and she seemed cool with it, but I could tell it put a sort of chill in the room so to speak. (Could have simply been my paranoia)

Then there's the boyfriends... She's picked nothing but fucking losers since she sobered up (I can only imagine the ones she had when she was using). She's basically an abused wife who doesn't get hit, and it's like she feels like she deserves it. She's cut ties with them (I know this for a fact), but it gives me that sense like she won't feel like I'm enough of a "bad boy" for her, or she'll take my lack of hostility as lack of caring, etc. (Dated one like that once, crazy bitch)

I knew this chick to be an amazing person, strong, intelligent, etc back in the teenage years. Does addiction and rehab really remove these qualities forever?

I guess my questions are:

a. Is this normal? Will this pass?
b. Is the self esteem thing going to be a life long deal? Is she going to continue to be some-what self-loathing a'la Lil Jimmy for the rest of her life?
c. Should I just say fuck it and move on?
d. Would FEZ MAN still hit it?
e. Bagel Lord is, and always will be, a cunt

[IRISHJERICHO]

I'd be careful of what she might have who knows what she was doing or who on meth.

[Voss's Tumor]

I'd be careful of what she might have who knows what she was doing or who on meth.

I thought about that, but she's a smart girl who'd be more responsible than not to tell me in advance. She's got a Masters from Texas Tech, she's your completely a-typical addict. Her mom offed herself at an early age and it caused some "issues", but she's past all that now. (For the most part)

I'm mostly wondering about the personality and emotional issues from the NA/AA type of shit.

Here's another question... If I chick's an addict, is she allowed an epidural during child birth? (Might wanna move this one to the purely curious, science thread... Nowhere NEAR thinking about that shit yet)

[MrBogey]

Well...you're going to probably have issues for a looong time. Depends on if you want to deal with them.

[Big Dick Mcgee]

It can be a hard thing to deal with. Hang out with her for a while and see what happens. But I would give it a lot of thought before making a commitment with her. She may be a great girl but I know that stuff is hard to get over.

[Voss's Tumor]

Well...you're going to probably have issues for a looong time. Depends on if you want to deal with them.

That's with any chick, though these days.

Addicts, help me out here. Drop 12 steps of knowledge on me

[Voss's Tumor]

It can be a hard thing to deal with. Hang out with her for a while and see what happens. But I would give it a lot of thought before making a commitment with her. She may be a great girl but I know that stuff is hard to get over.

Like I said, relapse = not any concern of mine. If she relapses, I'm out, no worries on that. She's got that part under control, and her only relapse would possibly be alcohol, and honestly, I could deal with that by simply taking the booze and cell and letting her pass out before she could cop... Then bolt.

Psychology of addicts, not situational crap like STDs and relapses here.

[sillyfuck]

It all depends on your patience level. Example: is this a religious na group? Don't get involved. Does she say word one about how you and your friends hang out? Don't get involved. In the end the relationship can end up costing a lot of money or a lot of pain.:arrrh:

[THE FEZ MAN]

run dude, run, i didn't even read the whole post, i dont need to. just fucking run, find yourself another piece of ass, your in love with the girl in 7th grade, not the lying junkie whore that you see in front of you

[EarthCrisis]

Wait and see what a happens with your guard up. Sounds like you care for this woman. She may end up having more severe issues when you get to know her better....OR maybe this is the extent of it.

Hell maybe she needs to be treated in a non-douchey way. She may end up being real confused at first since you won't be treating her like shit. Sounds like thats what she needs though.

Holy shit i hate drugs.

[Voss's Tumor]

It all depends on your patience level. Example: is this a religious na group? Don't get involved. Does she say word one about how you and your friends hang out? Don't get involved. In the end the relationship can end up costing a lot of money or a lot of pain.:arrrh:

Honestly, it's the exact opposite.

She was very careful last night to tell me before hand it's cool if I order drinks at dinner, she insisted on paying for her meal (which I out right refused), and she was completely accommodating about every little aspect of everything.

That's the thing.

Too accommodating. It was a classic battered woman syndrome mixed with I've got so much to be guilty for I'll never repay my debt to society sort of vibe. Like, she gave me a text almost every turn she made meeting me at the restaurant like if she hadn't I was going to be pissed when she got there.

I'm wondering if it's the program or just abusive douche bags that made her like that. And no, it wasn't the only night of examples of stuff like this, just obvious, fresh in my mind ones.

[Glenn Dandy]

Chances are she has Hep. atleast Hep.

I did something your are about to do once and it was the worst three years of my life....I hate to turn you off a chic thats doing good... but, chances are she is probably slipping now and again... and she probably has something.

I tried helping the girl i likes since i was a kid... found out later she had Hep... I dodged a serious bullet man... be careful.

drugs put bitches in some fucked up places.


I also am of the strong oppinion that age matters... how old is she? I dont think older broads can kick... they are just to spent.

if she was on drugs into her 30's just keep clear....

[sillyfuck]

If you really believe she has turned the corner I'd stick with it , but like earth crisis said KEEP YOUR GUARD UP.

[Voss's Tumor]

run dude, run, i didn't even read the whole post, i dont need to. just fucking run, find yourself another piece of ass, your in love with the girl in 7th grade, not the lying junkie whore that you see in front of you

I'm not in love, I'm entertaining the thought. And if I can offer her at least one decent guy relationship to lend a little self esteem, history enough would warrant that. She's not going to have the power to do me any harm, so what's the point in fear?

[WOWmagnet]

run dude, run, i didn't even read the whole post, i dont need to. just fucking run, find yourself another piece of ass, your in love with the girl in 7th grade, not the lying junkie whore that you see in front of you

AGREED! I got involved with one years ago...what a nightmare. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad people can use these tools to get off dependencies but many of them, ESPECIALLY the newer ones are SO immersed and, well, brainwashed that it will distance them from non-programmed people (a.k.a. 98% of the population).

Long-term 12-steppers sometimes can hang with regular folk and deal with it objectively (Jim Nordin!), but many cannot hang with anyone not in the program.

Remember; they call it a program because those in it are programmed....eh?

Scenario: out to dinner with alkie girl and some of my friends. EVERYONE orders a drink except her. So far, no problem, riiiight?
The whole ride home at 90 mph was spent listening to her on the phone with her sponsor, 2 other programmers, and then again her sponsor, crying yelling and being told not to hang out with alcoholics! (NOBODY had more than 2 drinks! I had one glass of Pinot Noir :icon_roll :icon_cry:)
I was called an abusive, alcoholic by her sponsor ( a dyke coke head).


Bye Bye junkie whore! (banged her cousin 3 days later after playing the sympathy card :haha7:)

[Voss's Tumor]

Chances are she has Hep. atleast Hep.

I did something your are about to do once and it was the worst three years of my life....I hate to turn you off a chic thats doing good... but, chances are she is probably slipping now and again... and she probably has something.

I tried helping the girl i likes since i was a kid... found out later she had Hep... I dodged a serious bullet man... be careful.

drugs put bitches in some fucked up places.


I also am of the strong oppinion that age matters... how old is she? I dont think older broads can kick... they are just to spent.

if she was on drugs into her 30's just keep clear....

On the Hep/STD thing I know she only smoked, never shot. She used from early 20s to mid 20s, she's 28 now and 2+ years sober. (Just ran into her last month or so)

Now, sure, STDs are something to worry about, I get it. 1/5 has Herpes these days, it's just a fact of life. Again, not applicable to the thread.

[Voss's Tumor]

AGREED! I got involved with one years ago...what a nightmare. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad people can use these tools to get off dependencies but many of them, ESPECIALLY the newer ones are SO immersed and, well, brainwashed that it will distance them from non-programmed people (a.k.a. 98% of the population).

Long-term 12-steppers sometimes can hang with regular folk and deal with it objectively (Jim Nordin!), but many cannot hang with anyone not in the program.

Remember; they call it a program because those in it are programmed....eh?

This is the stuff I'm talking about. We touched on religion last night, I gave her my whole, "No human knows better than me, so when I'm preached to I respond in kind with Judge not lest ye be judged, on, and evolution exists, and Jesus was just a dude from a book" and she went with it, so not worried about the God part of it.

It's the cult part that concerns me...

Scenario: out to dinner with alkie girl and some of my friends. EVERYONE orders a drink except her. So far, no problem, riiiight?
The whole ride home at 90 mph was spent listening to her on the phone with her sponsor, 2 other programmers, and then again her sponsor, crying yelling and being told not to hang out with alcoholics! (NOBODY had more than 2 drinks! I had one glass of Pinot Noir :icon_roll :icon_cry:)
I was called an abusive, alcoholic by her sponsor ( a dyke coke head).


Bye Bye junkie whore! (banged her cousin 3 days later after playing the sympathy card :haha7:)

Honestly? This scenario would make me laugh so fucking hard I'd simply bring it here for you guys to spend a few pages telling me you told me so. I'd get involved just to add that one to my crazy bitch album of stories.

[poppAwoody]

forget her and move on, you are only asking for problems

[sillyfuck]

So why are you asking for advice? Just fuck the meth head get a std and move on.

[WOWmagnet]

Honestly? This scenario would make me laugh so fucking hard I'd simply bring it here for you guys to spend a few pages telling me you told me so. I'd get involved just to add that one to my crazy bitch album of stories.

Please do it then!:action-sm I'll be here for ya, Bro!

[Voss's Tumor]

Wait and see what a happens with your guard up. Sounds like you care for this woman. She may end up having more severe issues when you get to know her better....OR maybe this is the extent of it.

Hell maybe she needs to be treated in a non-douchey way. She may end up being real confused at first since you won't be treating her like shit. Sounds like thats what she needs though.

Holy shit i hate drugs.

This is the plan I've come up with. The bolded part is what I see as not only the best case scenario, but something I'd do for her simply as someone who's been her friend for so long. If more? Then more. This is ground level... Just wondering what demons to expect, if any.

[Chino Kapone]

She cannot choose who she is attracted to. She will always go for the guys who treat her like ass because Its a rollercoaster ride for her. You may be extremely nice but dont take her on that emotional ride she is really attracted too.

[Voss's Tumor]

So why are you asking for advice? Just fuck the meth head get a std and move on.

The only advice I asked for is "Should I just run?", and so far the only answers I've gotten are, "Run! You'll get the HIV!"

Something with a little more substance would be nice.

[Voss's Tumor]

She cannot choose who she is attracted to. She will always go for the guys who treat her like ass because Its a rollercoaster ride for her. You may be extremely nice but dont take her on that emotional ride she is really attracted too.

Ehh, not really my concern. If that's the case, that's the case, and we part as friends. I mean, I'm sure there'll be a share of drama as in any relationship, it might be enough to keep her entertained, it might not. Still, that's any relationship, NA/AA or not.

[sillyfuck]

The only advice I asked for is "Should I just run?", and so far the only answers I've gotten are, "Run! You'll get the HIV!"

Something with a little more substance would be nice.

The only reason I said that is you seem to be sticking up for her. She has a shady past with an uncertain future if that is something you want to be involved in, by all means go for it. Just don't come cryin' when your house has been used to cop more drugs

[Glenn Dandy]

One of the prettiest girls I have ever seen in my life has been begging me to be her guy for around 4 years.... no way man.... fuck them broads that did drugs.


you gotta use common sense... don't think with your dick... That kills motherfuckers.

[Voss's Tumor]

The only reason I said that is you seem to be sticking up for her. She has a shady past with an uncertain future if that is something you want to be involved in, by all means go for it. Just don't come cryin' when your house has been used to cop more drugs

I am sticking up for her, because I've known the kind of addicts you guys are talking about, and she's not one of those. She's more the Jim Norton, Bobby Kelly type who take it seriously and have truly kicked the drugs... I'm wanting to hear about the side affects of the program and what it does to a person's mentality. If my concern was her relapsing, I'd never have the fucking thought in my head to begin with.

One of the prettiest girls I have ever seen in my life has been begging me to be her guy for around 4 years.... no way man.... fuck them broads that did drugs.


you gotta use common sense... don't think with your dick... That kills motherfuckers.

Is this the older one who relapsed into the 30s? And I got no kids, man, you got little man to think about. Some bitch fucks your shit up it's WAY worse than if I learn a lesson.

[Chino Kapone]

Go for it. Have fun. I am sure the reason she has surounded herself with the aa/na people is because she had to drop all of her old friends. Methheads do not have friends that dont do meth.

[sillyfuck]

All right then if you want to hear the more the relationship builds, the more you'll hear stop drinking, smokin', and druggin'. It may not be happening now, but it will go down that road. Just think about how Jim talks about these things.

[ddberry]

You are asking people for input on a relationship you are contemplating getting into...a relationship you claim will cause you no harm if it doesn't work out. So I am asking you if it's not going to effect you why bother asking anyone anything? Why not just go out with her and cut and run if it's not what you want? I don't think that it won't effect you like you say because you wouldn't be giving it so much thought before getting into it.

btw, my advice is to run

[Glenn Dandy]

Go for it. Have fun. I am sure the reason she has surounded herself with the aa/na people is because she had to drop all of her old friends. Methheads do not have friends that dont do meth.

Ha Ha Mexicans have the highest rate of STD's.... way to go Chino.

[weeniewawa]

On the Hep/STD thing I know she only smoked, never shot. She used from early 20s to mid 20s, she's 28 now and 2+ years sober. (Just ran into her last month or so)

Now, sure, STDs are something to worry about, I get it. 1/5 has Herpes these days, it's just a fact of life. Again, not applicable to the thread.

it's not how she did her meth, it's who she banged while she was doing it.

just don't let her "friends" know where you live or they will break into your house, those filthy doper crooks

[Voss's Tumor]

Go for it. Have fun. I am sure the reason she has surounded herself with the aa/na people is because she had to drop all of her old friends. Methheads do not have friends that dont do meth.

That's what I figure. It's kind of like how some good kids, if they go to a bad enough school, will end up hanging with the wrong crowd for awhile. Once you get them into a nicer school, they usually relax.

All right then if you want to hear the more the relationship builds, the more you'll hear stop drinking, smokin', and druggin'. It may not be happening now, but it will go down that road. Just think about how Jim talks about these things.

Tomorrow will be a big test. She's coming with me to a HUGE rock show here in Dallas, and it's one of my best friend's birthday parties, and he's the lead singer of the head-lining band. There will be shots had by all. (Though I do drink coke and water at these things and only do the shots.... There's too fucking many of them to beer chase)

If she's cool in that environment? Case closed. I'm giving her a shot.

You are asking people for input on a relationship you are contemplating getting into...a relationship you claim will cause you no harm if it doesn't work out. So I am asking you if it's not going to effect you why bother asking anyone anything? Why not just go out with her and cut and run if it's not what you want? I don't think that it won't effect you like you say because you wouldn't be giving it so much thought before getting into it.

btw, my advice is to run

Well, I was hoping (as usually happens on Wackbag) that as soon as I posted this 20 guys would immediately post shit like, "!0 years sober, and this is my view...", "4 years clean and this is how it works..."

So far it's been nothing but stories about users. I want stories from sober, ex users (and there's a TON around here). I wouldn't want people to hold me responsible for stupid shit from years ago if it was truly behind me, and I'm not going to do the same to her.

Now, if the Program has her head so fucked there's no point, that's a problem.

[Voss's Tumor]

it's not how she did her meth, it's who she banged while she was doing it.

just don't let her "friends" know where you live or they will break into your house, those filthy doper crooks

Sig-Sauer, Great Dane, 12 gauge, ex military.

No worries.

And you're fucking retarded if you think you're gonna find a 28 year old virgin in this world. All chicks have a past. Drug use != life ending STDs in all cases.

[Chino Kapone]

Ha Ha Mexicans have the highest rate of STD's.... way to go Chino.

You know this, and you still want to suck on my burrito. :action-sm

[sillyfuck]

Well this is something you will have to figure out. Like i said if she tries pushing HER new morales on you what does that tell you? We can't tell you how she is taking to the program if we don't see her.

[Voss's Tumor]

You know this, and you still want to suck on my burrito. :action-sm

Glenn likes cold sores.

And holy hell Chino! Every mexi-chick I've ever fucked was like... There was no such thing as too hard/fast/deep. What the fuck do your people teach those repressed Cahtoli...... Ahhhhhh :action-sm

[Voss's Tumor]

Well this is something you will have to figure out. Like i said if she tries pushing HER new morales on you what does that tell you? We can't tell you how she is taking to the program if we don't see her.

That's the kinda cool part at this point, If anything, she goes out of her way to PREVENT pushing her morals on me. That leads us to battered wife syndrome vibes, which is what's making this so confusing for me. Did the program do it? Did the ass holes she met through the program who just relapsed on her over and over do it? Is she damaged goods with or without the meth/program?

Like I said, not in love with this chick. Care for her very much, we got a long history and we'll always be friends, just kind of took a turn in the last few days so I gots some shits to be contemplatin an shit.

Just trying to figure it all out.

[sillyfuck]

That's the kinda cool part at this point, If anything, she goes out of her way to PREVENT pushing her morals on me. That leads us to battered wife syndrome vibes, which is what's making this so confusing for me. Did the program do it? Did the ass holes she met through the program who just relapsed on her over and over do it? Is she damaged goods with or without the meth/program?

Like I said, not in love with this chick. Care for her very much, we got a long history and we'll always be friends, just kind of took a turn in the last few days so I gots some shits to be contemplatin an shit.

Just trying to figure it all out.

Then if you are looking for an answer like, it's been two years she is over it emtionally, not going to get it. If you want to know what is going on at meetings, not going to happen. To break that outer shell it is going to be a long hard road. If you care for her and want to continue a YOUNG relationship, all I can say is be patient and GOOD LUCK BRO:)

[Voss's Tumor]

Then if you are looking for an answer like, it's been two years she is over it emtionally, not going to get it. If you want to know what is going on at meetings, not going to happen. To break that outer shell it is going to be a long hard road. If you care for her and want to continue a YOUNG relationship, all I can say is be patient and GOOD LUCK BRO:)

Nah, it's not like that. We go WAY back. She's told me fucked up stories from meetings she wasn't supposed to, etc. We got a rock solid trust foundation that we've had since childhood, her head just seems screwed on different and I'm trying to figure out why.

[kidconnor]

I'm not a recovering anything. SO the personal experience part I can't answer. BUT. You paint a nice picture of a bad girl cleaned up. Hope she is and hope she stays that way and things work out.

I know a couple of past addicts. Some do stay clean, but they feel like they OWE it to others to help out. Like its the price they have to pay to stay clean. I dunno. In some way I respect that.

If your willing to share her everytime the phone rings, and someone is looking to talk for 3 hours, then its fine. If you can take that there are people she will tell stuff too but not you because 'you wouldn't understand', then its fine.

Maybe she isn't like that. Other than ^^this^^ I have nothing and wish ya good luck.

[CousinDave]

She's damaged goods, unless you don't think you'll ever be able to do any better, I suggest you avoid all contact and communication with her immediately.

[Voss's Tumor]

I'm not a recovering anything. SO the personal experience part I can't answer. BUT. You paint a nice picture of a bad girl cleaned up. Hope she is and hope she stays that way and things work out.

I know a couple of past addicts. Some do stay clean, but they feel like they OWE it to others to help out. Like its the price they have to pay to stay clean. I dunno. In some way I respect that.

If your willing to share her everytime the phone rings, and someone is looking to talk for 3 hours, then its fine. If you can take that there are people she will tell stuff too but not you because 'you wouldn't understand', then its fine.

Maybe she isn't like that. Other than ^^this^^ I have nothing and wish ya good luck.

That's almost the exact picture I'm hoping for. Hell, I'm the same way. My Blackberry goes off, whether it be work related or whatever there's going to be times I'm like that too, that's just life for busy people.

From a cop's perspective I appreciate the insight. I know you've dealt with more than your fair share.

[Jimmy's Dignity]

I didn't bother reading all of the responses but I can tell you this. It takes a very strong man to get involved with an addict. If you're only going to 1/2 ass it, it's not going to work out. From the sounds of your post, you knew this girl in the past...so you can relate to her pre-addiction (albeit from a junior high level)...you can work that part out easily. If you're interested in it, I say go for it. Yes her self-esteem isn't the best, and it'll take a while for it to come back up, but it'll get there. You said she's a strong girl...she'll get herself back to where she should be. It'll take a while, but if you're strong enough & interested enough, it'll be worth it


d) Of course Fez Man would hit it
E) Is it even a question? Bagel Lord is the cuntiest of cunts

[Voss's Tumor]

I didn't bother reading all of the responses but I can tell you this. It takes a very strong man to get involved with an addict. If you're only going to 1/2 ass it, it's not going to work out. From the sounds of your post, you knew this girl in the past...so you can relate to her pre-addiction (albeit from a junior high level)...you can work that part out easily. If you're interested in it, I say go for it. Yes her self-esteem isn't the best, and it'll take a while for it to come back up, but it'll get there. You said she's a strong girl...she'll get herself back to where she should be. It'll take a while, but if you're strong enough & interested enough, it'll be worth it


d) Of course Fez Man would hit it
E) Is it even a question? Bagel Lord is the cuntiest of cunts

I said Jr High, that's just when we were closest friends. We actually went through the whole high school years too, just ran in sort of different crowds.

We grew up in a very fucked up suburb of Dallas. Kind of like two Vietnam vets meeting after the war. I literally went to 19 funerals and carried the casket in a lot of them before I graduated, and we shared a lot of friends.

Honestly, to meet someone who's just a recovering addict after that hell hole is pretty amazing in itself.

[Chino Kapone]

Glenn likes cold sores.

And holy hell Chino! Every mexi-chick I've ever fucked was like... There was no such thing as too hard/fast/deep. What the fuck do your people teach those repressed Cahtoli...... Ahhhhhh :action-sm

I guess you needed a bigger cock... :action-sm

[Bigtchrist]

run dude, run, i didn't even read the whole post, i dont need to. just fucking run, find yourself another piece of ass, your in love with the girl in 7th grade, not the lying junkie whore that you see in front of you

I agree with fez man... I found one of my long lost loves a couple years go... she been clean for a year off meth and god knows what else. She was going to meetings and had found "god" again. She seemed to have her head on her shoulders....... needless to say I'm now $18,000 in debt thanks to her..... Once they get fucked on meth... they worthless unless u just want to fuck.... other than that... run like hell.

[CougarHunter]

Here's the situation.

YOU DON'T WANT ADVICE. YOU ARE GOING TO JUSTIFY ANY OBJECTION THAT IS RAISED.

In short, do whatever you want, you will anyway.

[Jimmy's Dignity]

blah blah blah....... needless to say I'm now $18,000 in debt thanks to her.....

don't mean to be a dick...but every penny of that's on you. You never let ANYONE, addict or not, spend your money. Period. If she says she'll leave, pffft...hit the bricks twat. You're spending your money, not mine. There are no such things as "joint accounts"

[Ren5150]

Simple answer....

If she takes it in the ass right off the bat, stick with it for a while.

If she is timid and whiny, spray on her back and walk out the door.

Nice and easy.

[Voss's Tumor]

I guess you needed a bigger cock... :action-sm

Come to think of it... There was one Mexican chick I bottomed out on...

Your mom!

Here's the situation.

YOU DON'T WANT ADVICE. YOU ARE GOING TO JUSTIFY ANY OBJECTION THAT IS RAISED.

In short, do whatever you want, you will anyway.

I want advice from credible sources. "OMGU GONNA GET HEP! LULZ" is not advice.

I agree with fez man... I found one of my long lost loves a couple years go... she been clean for a year off meth and god knows what else. She was going to meetings and had found "god" again. She seemed to have her head on her shoulders....... needless to say I'm now $18,000 in debt thanks to her..... Once they get fucked on meth... they worthless unless u just want to fuck.... other than that... run like hell.

don't mean to be a dick...but every penny of that's on you. You never let ANYONE, addict or not, spend your money. Period. If she says she'll leave, pffft...hit the bricks twat. You're spending your money, not mine. There are no such things as "joint accounts"

QFMFT

I threw up the 10k I spent on my chick in her face last year because she was trying to leverage me for a couple hundred for some shit I didn't even owe her for, but at the end of the day I spent that 10k on her willingly, because we were doing shit together. At no point in time did she ever have a debit card or shit with her name on it, that's just foolish, sir.

I'm probably going to end up with one of those marriages with separate bank accounts, and I don't even know if I'm going to start seeing this chick yet as it is, so "she's gonna relapse and sell my internal organs for smack" routine... Also, isn't credibly advice. Not to mention that the two times we've seen each other, she's either tried to pick up all tabs completely, or at least pay for her part. She's the opposite of someone I'm worried about that with. (And she doesn't drink so she won't break me on martinis like the last bitch!)

[Voss's Tumor]

Simple answer....

If she takes it in the ass right off the bat, stick with it for a while.

If she is timid and whiny, spray on her back and walk out the door.

Nice and easy.

See? This is Wackbag level advice. This is a man I can communicate with!

Fuck Reagan, great communicator, right here! :haha7:

[THE FEZ MAN]

did i say run yet?

[lilherojimmy]

I'd hit it.

fixed

[THE FEZ MAN]

you want nothing to do with someone that has had a meth problem. trust me. ive done almost every drug known to man short of injecting heroin, and dealt wtih the people involved with such activity's, you want nothing to do with them.

there is a reason that the turned to that kind of drug, they are weak and needy she will consume you like a 30$ bag then lick you clean...


trust me Fezzy is old an wise...

[lilherojimmy]

If you want an addict's point of view, I guess I can weigh in real quick, but I never went to AA/NA, so what I say may not be of any help.(I quit drinking and using for different reasons.)

You should raise these concerns to her. She's been in meetings spilling her guts to strangers, you really think it's going to bother her to talk about it with you? Just let her know how you feel about the addiction and her other issues. That's all you really can do at this point. Since she's already kicked drugs, then you should know that she's capable of kicking the whole self-esteem issue too, with your help. If the relationship works, it works, and if it doesn't it doesn't. You've said that if it didn't work out, you would remain friends, so what's the big deal? I say go for it.

[AngryPest]

I think you have already made your decision. But here goes…

I went for a stretch where I didn’t drink. At first it was just happened that way (work, new kid etc) but after a while I just kind of fell into it. I wanted to see how long I could go. I didn't have anything except O’Doul’s for 2 years. My wife I still went out and she drank and I didn’t mind at all. The only time that it sucked was when we went to parties. Everyone would order a drink and I will get something non-alcoholic. Then I would see a couple that we’re friends with (but are jerks) just look at each other. That knowing look. It would just piss me off. I finally decided that I would have a beer at the party just to shut them up. I actually watched them check out the can to see if it said Non-Alcoholic on it.

She may be fine with you, but a party may be a different thing for her. She may not be fine with it and she may not realize that untill she is there. There will be a lot of pressure to fit in with the group.

Or

Since she has dated so many scumbags in the past you may be too nice. She may have already emotionally castrated you. You may get the “lets be friends” speech soon.

[Sam_Adams]

I can't give you any advice. I have been single for about two years now. So, if you can make it work then more power to you buddy.

I sit here on a daily basis wondering if my life is worth living :)

[lokimanahan]

I sit here on a daily basis wondering if my life is worth living :)

It's not.

[Sam_Adams]

It's not.

i know. that is why i must make it worth living ;)

[lokimanahan]

i know. that is why i must make it worth living ;)

If you do decide to end it all R. Budd Dwyer-stylee, can have your good camera that you left in your truck?

[Mafialife Chris]

Frenchy was an addict when we met at an O and A Party. She was in an out-patient program that treated her opiate addiction (pain killers, and coke) with a drug called suboxone. Meth would normally be used in treatments like this, but that treatment is a very long drawn out process and basically, it is the same as "using". Suboxone was a wonder drug on the market that would block the channels the opiates use to get into your system, and it would pretty much trick your body into giving it a slight dose of the opiate, while not having any high effects and decreasing the addiction and desire to use.

We had some rocky times in the beginning because she relapsed 2 times, but one day snapped. She has over 1.5 yrs clean and detoxed, and her risk for relapse is nil to none. I heard Richard Lewis say this at unmasked about alchohol, and its true about all addictions. After the mental and physical addiction is over, you will uncover all the bad places your mind and soul goes that made you want to use again and since you cant do the drugs, you will need to be treated for anxiety, bi polar, or other stuff and sometimes those drugs can be worse on your body mind and soul then the opiate or the drug you were using.

After all this time, we managed to get past the physical, and mental withdrawals, combat the anxiety, and get her back to living a healthy life daily without the urge to use. We have also gotten her back to a full active life where she has her responsabilities in order. In the beginning the anxiety meds used to make her so tired shed pass out. I felt like it was all a waste of time even going through with it, and I felt it was bullshit that a professional doctor would prescribe a drug to an addict, despite the anxiety.

In closing, I go to meetings myself because living with someone who is an ex-addict, is as hard on the family as it is on the user. Sometimes harder. it is a rough road, but if your in love its worth it.

The desire to be completely drug free is there, but not feasible. You cannot stop the anxiety meds cold turkey, and the suboxone doses get smaller and smaller but still exist. Each month, the med doses get smaller and smaller, and soon enough she will be 100% drug free.

I am very proud of her. Her alertness and energy level is back to normal again. You cannot tell she was even on meds except for a little weight gain and water retention at times. But id take that over an addiction anyday

This whole thread made me think about it all. And It was alot harder in the beginning. We are together 2 years now, and very very happy.

It was a long hard struggle, and it is still a work in progress, but I would do it all over again if I was asked.

If you stick with it, I give you credit. And if you need to talk to someone who understands addiction, hit me up. My advice is to stay with her and encourage the full recovery "if" you are prepared to take a few years out of your life to spend time, energy, and money on understanding, comforting, loving and the recovery process itself.

Sorry for rambling. Things get touching when it comes to addiction for me. I felt like sharing. Hope all works out!

God Bless,

MLC

[CougarHunter]

I sit here on a daily basis wondering if my life is worth living :)

Can I have all but the 1 gun?

I don't want to clean THAT one. :action-sm

[Ren5150]

See? This is Wackbag level advice. This is a man I can communicate with!

Fuck Reagan, great communicator, right here! :haha7:

I break it down to the meat and potatoes of the issue. I get to the heart of the matter. I drill it down to brass tax.

When it's all over, the only important thing is ass sex.

One more bit of advice. Only fuck her in a hotel. This way, when you wake up and the TV is gone, it's not yours.

[NoSurviivors]

I'm a recovering addict & I can't stand 12 step. Allot of those types are over focused idiots. I can go on about that, but this isn't about me.

What got me away form heroin was finding a purpose in life. Again... and again. I think that she's looking for the same to some degree.

it seems like you care for this girl.. maybe you can help her into the last step... you know.. the one where you close that door forever.

Keep your guard up and try to have some patience.

[wes mantooth]

I think Glenn said it best. Use your head and not your dick. I think your best bet may be to stay just friends with her and help out from that perspective. If you do decide to start dating her then you should quit drinking immediately. It doesn't matter if she's "cool" with it or not. If you really care about her then you'll best help her by not putting her in tempting situations.

[NoSurviivors]

I think Glenn said it best. Use your head and not your dick. I think your best bet may be to stay just friends with her and help out from that perspective. If you do decide to start dating her then you should quit drinking immediately. It doesn't matter if she's "cool" with it or not. If you really care about her then you'll best help her by not putting her in tempting situations.

auggh. enough with the 'tempting situations' and the rest of this co-dependency bullshit. If you're going to change, then fucking change.

[Three Hole Puncher]

I am sticking up for her, because I've known the kind of addicts you guys are talking about, and she's not one of those. She's more the Jim Norton, Bobby Kelly type who take it seriously and have truly kicked the drugs...

Here's the deal with the "recovering" types... the personality glitch which led them to be an addict in the first place is still going to be there even after they kick the drugs. Jimmy and Bob Kelly are perfect examples... they quit doing drugs, but the demon is still there... Jimmy sits in front of his computer for hours on end, beating his dick like it welshed on a bet, and Bobby feeds his beast with bacon double cheeseburgers.

The new monkeys on their backs may not be as bad as the drugs, but it's still some crap you're going to have to deal with when you decide to hook up with an ex lotus eater.

The simple reality is that ex druggies always come with baggage... and not some little carry-on bag... we're talking big 'ol honking steamer trunks. If you decide to get into a relationship with one of these people, don't be surprised if the day comes when you'll be called upon to help them lug their baggage around for them.

[Three Hole Puncher]

I think Glenn said it best. Use your head and not your dick. I think your best bet may be to stay just friends with her and help out from that perspective. If you do decide to start dating her then you should quit drinking immediately. It doesn't matter if she's "cool" with it or not. If you really care about her then you'll best help her by not putting her in tempting situations.

Seriously... fuck that.

I'm supposed to become a monk because you get the maniacal urge to fire up a crack pipe every time I pop the cap on a beer?

Like my fricken mother. I can't have a beer on Thanksgiving while I watch the game at her house, because she got a little tipsy after three glasses of wine and decided to go to AA TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO! And now she pisses and moans because I go to my inlaw's house for Thanksgiving every year... where I can sit and drink a beer like I'm an adult and not a Sprite like I'm a ten-year-old.

[wes mantooth]

auggh. enough with the 'tempting situations' and the rest of this co-dependency bullshit. If you're going to change, then fucking change.


The stop drinking part is as much for his sake than hers. He will need the patience of a saint to deal with the self-absorbed bubble most addicts live in. Even in recovery they are like that what with all the programs and support groups. He already said stopping wasn't a problem for him. Why not quit? It might give the relationship a better chance.


Seriously... fuck that.

I'm supposed to become a monk because you get the maniacal urge to fire up a crack pipe every time I pop the cap on a beer?

Like my fricken mother. I can't have a beer on Thanksgiving while I watch the game at her house, because she got a little tipsy after three glasses of wine and decided to go to AA TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO! And now she pisses and moans because I go to my inlaw's house for Thanksgiving every year... where I can sit and drink a beer like I'm an adult and not a Sprite like I'm a ten-year-old.


That is true but she's your mother. We all have put up with shit like that when it comes to immediate family.



Hey Voss's Tumor. Listen to Fezman and Glenn. Just run. Life's got enough obstacles as it is. Don't saddle yourself with someone elses problems. Your resentment will be off the charts if you get involved with her and then the friendship will end even though you're still in love with her. That's a hellish situation.

[WOWmagnet]

I break it down to the meat and potatoes of the issue. I get to the heart of the matter. I drill it down to brass tax.


Um, it's brass tacks, not tax. :haha7:

[Three Hole Puncher]

That is true but she's your mother. We all have put up with shit like that when it comes to immediate family.

Ummm... but I don't put up with it... I go to my in-laws house for Thanksgiving.

Why do we have to put up with stupid shit behavior from people just because we're related to them?

Believe me... if my sister was running around huffing computer duster and walking on sunshine, I'd indulge that shit long enough to say, "Hey, dummy... stop that.", and then I'd be out the door. Funk that... the WORST thing you can do for these people is buy into their drama.

[WOWmagnet]

:icon_roll :icon_cry: :icon_roll

Jesus Christ my head is spinning!! Women are enough trouble/maintanence without the added, "waaaaah!, I'm an addict!" bullshit.

Let her stick with her programmed, "let go and let God" weaklings.

Sheesh. Even a straight up broad with a good job and no addictions is a handful. Anyone getting involved with an addict who'd been clean less than say, 10 years is asking for a mouthful of shit.

Re-read my above post about the drunk whore I was with :icon_roll .

[Ren5150]

Um, it's brass tacks, not tax. :haha7:

YOU may break it down to TACKS but I prefer TAX because TACKS hurt my toesies when I walk on them.

[Mafialife Chris]

Here's the deal with the "recovering" types... the personality glitch which led them to be an addict in the first place is still going to be there even after they kick the drugs. Jimmy and Bob Kelly are perfect examples... they quit doing drugs, but the demon is still there... Jimmy sits in front of his computer for hours on end, beating his dick like it welshed on a bet, and Bobby feeds his beast with bacon double cheeseburgers.

The new monkeys on their backs may not be as bad as the drugs, but it's still some crap you're going to have to deal with when you decide to hook up with an ex lotus eater.

The simple reality is that ex druggies always come with baggage... and not some little carry-on bag... we're talking big 'ol honking steamer trunks. If you decide to get into a relationship with one of these people, don't be surprised if the day comes when you'll be called upon to help them lug their baggage around for them.

Seriously... fuck that.

I'm supposed to become a monk because you get the maniacal urge to fire up a crack pipe every time I pop the cap on a beer?

Like my fricken mother. I can't have a beer on Thanksgiving while I watch the game at her house, because she got a little tipsy after three glasses of wine and decided to go to AA TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO! And now she pisses and moans because I go to my inlaw's house for Thanksgiving every year... where I can sit and drink a beer like I'm an adult and not a Sprite like I'm a ten-year-old.


It is sad, but this is exactly the roaler coaster shit that fustrates family members of addicts, and the reason they need meetings too.

Its a crazy road. And for the majority it is not worth it.

[Voss's Tumor]

Thanks for the input MLC, most insightful yet.

Basically, the update is she just canceled on me tonight for a "friend in need", and considering it was the 4th cancellation in 2 weeks on what would only be the second date, yeah...

Basically, she's become addicted to the altruism of being the helper of the group is what it seems to me. She's going to continue to place the needs of the weak willed ahead of her own out of some sort of penance and everything in her life is going to revolve around helping those who barely help themselves.

Essentially, her life has become the group.

Ball's in her court, I'm done wasting the effort. I told her when she's ready to worry about her own relationships more than the needs of others she's just met to give me a call. (I said it much more diplomatically, though)

Ehh, it is what it is. Maybe she'll snap out of it, maybe she won't. I hadn't seen her in 12 years before this and I've done pretty well for myself, no harm, no foul.

[Three Hole Puncher]

Thanks for the input MLC, most insightful yet.

Basically, the update is she just canceled on me tonight for a "friend in need", and considering it was the 4th cancellation in 2 weeks on what would only be the second date, yeah...

Basically, she's become addicted to the altruism of being the helper of the group is what it seems to me. She's going to continue to place the needs of the weak willed ahead of her own out of some sort of penance and everything in her life is going to revolve around helping those who barely help themselves.

Essentially, her life has become the group.

Ball's in her court, I'm done wasting the effort. I told her when she's ready to worry about her own relationships more than the needs of others she's just met to give me a call. (I said it much more diplomatically, though)

Ehh, it is what it is. Maybe she'll snap out of it, maybe she won't. I hadn't seen her in 12 years before this and I've done pretty well for myself, no harm, no foul.

Like I said... baggage. Ex-drunks and druggies all come with it, and if you're with them, you're sure as shit going to be carrying it right along with them.

[Voss's Tumor]

Like I said... baggage. Ex-drunks and druggies all come with it, and if you're with them, you're sure as shit going to be carrying it right along with them.

And again, I say, all girls, ALL GIRLS beyond the age of about 23-24 are going to have baggage.

[WOWmagnet]

Basically, the update is she just canceled on me tonight for a "friend in need", and considering it was the 4th cancellation in 2 weeks on what would only be the second date, yeah...

Basically, she's become addicted to the altruism of being the helper of the group is what it seems to me. She's going to continue to place the needs of the weak willed ahead of her own out of some sort of penance and everything in her life is going to revolve around helping those who barely help themselves.

.

Flakey, addicted to being addicted, program for life.

If you like a shit-covered rollercoaster, you're on cue for a hell of a ride!

*SMACK!** "ONE FLAG!" :hamm:

[WOWmagnet]

I can't give you any advice. I have been single for about two years now. So, if you can make it work then more power to you buddy.

I sit here on a daily basis wondering if my life is worth living :)

It's not.

Awww. People helping people. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. :icon_wink

[Three Hole Puncher]

And again, I say, all girls, ALL GIRLS beyond the age of about 23-24 are going to have baggage. Yeah, but there's baggage and then there's BAGGAGE.

Sure... you've got your girls who own seven hundred pairs of shoes, and will fly into a rage if you leave the toilet seat up, but... then there are the girls who'll huff computer duster while cutting themselves with razor blades.

A girl who's going to blow you off on a Saturday night in order to go clean up some meth head who's lying in a puddle of filth and misery... now that chick has some BAGGAGE.

[THE FEZ MAN]

Yeah, but there's baggage and then there's BAGGAGE.

Sure... you've got your girls who own seven hundred pairs of shoes, and will fly into a rage if you leave the toilet seat up, but... then there are the girls who'll huff computer duster while cutting themselves with razor blades.

A girl who's going to blow you off on a Saturday night in order to go clean up some meth head who's lying in a puddle of filth and misery... now that chick has some BAGGAGE.

i guess that's a better oration of the point that i was trying to make. you will never be able to shake "the addict" from what i have seen from people in "recovery" is that they have just traded one addiction for another, in her case its "the program" and the more involved with it she is the more she is holding on by a thread, and in the end your either going to end up resenting her for it or hating the life that her addiction has created for those around her

[WOWmagnet]

Yeah, but there's baggage and then there's BAGGAGE.

Sure... you've got your girls who own seven hundred pairs of shoes, and will fly into a rage if you leave the toilet seat up, but... then there are the girls who'll huff computer duster while cutting themselves with razor blades.

A girl who's going to blow you off on a Saturday night in order to go clean up some meth head who's lying in a puddle of filth and misery... now that chick has some BAGGAGE.

Strangely, those all sound hot to me now. I need sleep.

[Voss's Tumor]

Flakey, addicted to being addicted, program for life.

If you like a shit-covered rollercoaster, you're on cue for a hell of a ride!

*SMACK!** "ONE FLAG!" :hamm:

Pretty much.

Oh well, fuck it. I got a hotter girl meeting me at the show tonight anyway, and her baggage could fit in a carry-on.

Oh, and she's a semi-pro pool player... I could orgasm just watching her shoot.

[WOWmagnet]

Pretty much.

Oh well, fuck it. I got a hotter girl meeting me at the show tonight anyway, and her baggage could fit in a carry-on.

Oh, and she's a semi-pro pool player... I could orgasm just watching her shoot.

That's hot...watching your girl pwn at pool.

[Voss's Tumor]

That's hot...watching your girl pwn at pool.

Well, we play in the same league so it's only hot when she's kicking some other dude's ass... When it's mine it pisses me off. :mad4:

[MilkmanDan]

It is sad, but this is exactly the roaler coaster shit that fustrates family members of addicts, and the reason they need meetings too.

Its a crazy road. And for the majority it is not worth it.

Suboxone is a much better treatment then methadone, good choice on that one. I deal in the Pharmaceutical business, but am an alcoholic, go figure )
Naltrexone also for minor level opiate addicts or alcoholics reduces cravings.
Campral blows.

[Bigtchrist]

don't mean to be a dick...but every penny of that's on you. You never let ANYONE, addict or not, spend your money. Period. If she says she'll leave, pffft...hit the bricks twat. You're spending your money, not mine. There are no such things as "joint accounts"

Car loan for her so she could haul her kids around. Was "Tring" to do a good thing for her since she seemed to have her head on her shoulders. Now me "the co-signer" has to pay the loan off and I have a vehicle I dont need.

[Dopie Opie]

Did you actually fuck the addict???

[MilkmanDan]

i guess that's a better oration of the point that i was trying to make. you will never be able to shake "the addict" from what i have seen from people in "recovery" is that they have just traded one addiction for another, in her case its "the program" and the more involved with it she is the more she is holding on by a thread, and in the end your either going to end up resenting her for it or hating the life that her addiction has created for those around her

I rarely find reason to disagree with the Fez Man but will Vehemently disagree on this one. Maintenance programs slow the progression of returning back to normalcy, however they are vital in lowering the percentage of Relapse. The brain chemistry changes that go on are Earth Shattering to the people involved, and if they actually follow the proper course, there is a solid chance of returning to a pre-addict state of mind.
I've seen it, its beautiful and it does work.

[THE FEZ MAN]

I rarely find reason to disagree with the Fez Man but will Vehemently disagree on this one. Maintenance programs slow the progression of returning back to normalcy, however they are vital in lowering the percentage of Relapse. The brain chemistry changes that go on are Earth Shattering to the people involved, and if they actually follow the proper course, there is a solid chance of returning to a pre-addict state of mind.
I've seen it, its beautiful and it does work.


im sure it does for some people, every one that ive run into turned into an asshole and or came begging to me for forgiveness then ended up back on the bag or buried in a bottle after trying to immerse them selves in "the program" hey, im not part of "the program" so i have no interest in there problem, any more and have not yet hit that low that i think i need it. (a few other people might disagree... eh fuck em) i just think that getting involved with some one "in recovery" is a mistake for someone who is not. you can only put up with so many "juice and cookie" socials before it starts to get old, especially when they take over the things that i like to do

[weakside]

From my experience of seeing others go through it (including most recently a friend of mine at work), I would say it’s best to walk away…

While it’s true there could be a relapse I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s your biggest concern. The bigger problem is that in all the people I have seen * that have kicked their addictions (and I’m only talking about the serious ones here) is that their support groups become their lives. I think the best comparison to them is people who are way into religion and can’t wait to tell you the great news about Jesus Christ. Nothing takes precedence over their meetings or the people in them and as someone mentioned in this thread, it almost becomes like a cult.

Now, there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with that because if that is what they need to get through each day then good for them. But at the same time it is way too taxing on the other person in the relationship who is not part of that scene because when everything becomes about being clean there isn’t much room for anything else and relationships can’t operate on a “one-trick pony” because it will get old fast.

I say move on.


* This is not to say that every former addict is going to be like this, but in the three relationships I have seen in my life where one has been an addict and the other sober it has been. So take it for what you will.

[Voss's Tumor]

Did you actually fuck the addict???

Is the Pope Catholic? If I'm interested in a chick, the answer to this question is always yes, dude. I never invest my heart in a vehicle before the test drive.

Car loan for her so she could haul her kids around. Was "Tring" to do a good thing for her since she seemed to have her head on her shoulders. Now me "the co-signer" has to pay the loan off and I have a vehicle I dont need.

Again, squarely in your court, dude. Had a buddy who did the same thing (she wasn't an addict, but same shit), and it's just something you don't do without expecting to have to take it on full-boar yourself.

From my experience of seeing others go through it (including most recently a friend of mine at work), I would say it’s best to walk away…

While it’s true there could be a relapse I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s your biggest concern. The bigger problem is that in all the people I have seen * that have kicked their addictions (and I’m only talking about the serious ones here) is that their support groups become their lives. I think the best comparison to them is people who are way into religion and can’t wait to tell you the great news about Jesus Christ. Nothing takes precedence over their meetings or the people in them and as someone mentioned in this thread, it almost becomes like a cult.

Now, there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with that because if that is what they need to get through each day then good for them. But at the same time it is way too taxing on the other person in the relationship who is not part of that scene because when everything becomes about being clean there isn’t much room for anything else and relationships can’t operate on a “one-trick pony” because it will get old fast.

I say move on.


* This is not to say that every former addict is going to be like this, but in the three relationships I have seen in my life where one has been an addict and the other sober it has been. So take it for what you will.

And this is exactly how I see it going if it goes there at all. (I was the one who referred to it as a cult, btw). It's like that chick you meet up with who's a bible thumper... "All things through Christ" is all she can say. I had a great day! (Because Christ made it happen) I got a promotion at work! (Praise his name!) That was a great burger! (Hallelujah!)

Then, the second any little thing goes wrong it's because they failed as a Christian and they have to pray about it for days and hope the magical ghost in the sky has it in his will to fix their problems. Fucking take the steps to fix it yourselves you whiney god damn co-dependant on fictional character fucks!

[Three Hole Puncher]

Maintenance programs slow the progression of returning back to normalcy, however they are vital in lowering the percentage of Relapse. The brain chemistry changes that go on are Earth Shattering to the people involved, and if they actually follow the proper course, there is a solid chance of returning to a pre-addict state of mind.
I've seen it, its beautiful and it does work.

"Programs" have an abysmally low success rate, so I don't see how they can honestly be described as "vital" or "the proper course", and I don't think there's a lot of support for the claim that programs offer an addict a "solid chance" of returning to sobriety/normalcy.

Here's my experience...

My mom and dad were boozers. Both of them were from old school shanty Irish families... Dooley's, Bonner's, Murphy's, Flynn's... serious booze hounds.

When I was a kid, my parents used to go out just about every weekend and tear it up. They'd leave us with a babysitter, hit the saloons hard, and come home at half-past-monkey's-ass drunk and happy. Neither of them ever once laid a hand on any of us kids when they were stewed. They were the happiest drunks on the planet. I honestly have zero bad childhood memories associated with my parents being drunk... none. Now... when my dad was sober... that was a different story, he'd knock my fucking block off if I got out of line... and I have to say I earned every smack he put upside my fool head.

Anyway... when I was about 11, my mom decided that she'd had enough of the sauce, and she went to AA... and THAT was when the problems started. Now... instead of her going out for a few hours on the weekends, she was out every other night at her "meetings". I actually remember my little brother once saying, "I wish mom would start drinking again so she'd be home more often."

Then she started in on my father... bitching and pissing and moaning at him to stop drinking and become "a friend of Bill W." but my dad is not that kind of guy... he does shit his own way, and he does it when he's good and ready to do it... but that didn't stop my mother's constant harping on him every weekend when he headed to the bar, and she went to her meeting. We were still home with a babysitter, but now, instead of expecting two happy drunks to come home, we could expect one happy(but silent) drunk, and one self righteous harpy yelling at him.

And then there were the FUCKING phone calls. My mother sponsored every pathetic drunken sot within fifty miles of our town, and she gave our home phone number to every one of them. Every day... night and fucking day, I'd answer to phone and it'd be some pathetic lush who fell of the wagon and landed on their head, and needed my mother to "talk them down" or sometimes they wanted her come mop up the mess. My mother thrived on the shit... she'd run out the door like she was Mother Theresa on a mission from God. I remember once overhearing my mother telling some rummy slob on the phone about what a "terrible parent" she(my mother) had been to her children before she had "cleaned herself up." I was dumbfounded... I was like "...the fuck? Who the hell is she talking about?" As I got older, I realized that she had concocted this whole fantasy about how she had been a terrible drunken mother who had nearly tossed all of us children in the oven in a drunken stupor before AA had put her on the path to righteousness and redemption.

Utter horse shit.

Oh... and my dad quit drinking 5 years ago. His reason for quitting? Beats me... because he didn't broadcast to the planet his "testimonial" like my mother would at the drop of a hat. I'm sure he had his reasons, but he didn't feel it was necessary to bore the world with the gory details.

My dad never went to a meeting, never asked for a sobriety chip, never "followed the proper course". I guess he just didn't want to drink anymore, for whatever reason, so he didn't drink anymore.

Some people need the drama of the program to use as a crutch, some people don't.

There's my story, for the two cents it's worth.... scrawled on the shithouse wall that is the internet.

[THE FEZ MAN]

ooooo story's i like story's

[Lunchbox420]

run dude, run, i didn't even read the whole post, i dont need to. just fucking run, find yourself another piece of ass, your in love with the girl in 7th grade, not the lying junkie whore that you see in front of you


I stopped reading at post 9. This is the only answer.

[Edible Napalm]

Don't.