99 Questions

[umo]

What's the purpose of a preacher? If you enjoy a personal relationship with God why do you need the middleman?
Does anybody know if Barack Obama believes in the Black Liberation Theology of his former church?
Should the US govt pass a law stipulating domestic oil must be sold domestically and not on the world market?
Is there any chance the Republican Party will ever nominate an African-American presidential candidate?
Why do people focus their hatred on oil companies making 8% profit and not Hedge Funds that make 90% profit?
Everybody hates mimes. So why do they continue to pretend they are trapped inside an invisible box?
Why did the men of the Confederate South fight to the death to defend their legal right to enslave black folk?
Does Gary Glitter get royalty checks each time his "Rock & Roll Part 1&2" anthem is played at sporting events?
In the USA the politically correct term for black folks is African-American. What are blacks called in the UK?
During the Dem primaries, Biden said Obama is not qualified to be President. Why is he now the running mate?
Why are small investors denied the right to invest in lucrative IPOs like Google. Is investments game rigged?
What was the price per share of Google stock on the first day when ordinary investors were not allowed to buy it?
Why can't a non-scholarship athlete play college basketball if he has a job to pay his own way through school?
If God created mankind wouldn't the evidence of world history prove that He is an under-achiever?
Why do some female runners have big hairdos; doesn't big hair create wind resistance that slows them down?
How did a tiny island nation of less than 3 million dominate the world in men & women Olympic sprint events?
Who is the drop dead beautiful Black female studio host doing Olympic coverage on the CBUT network?
Why are all taxpayers forced to subsidize Symphonic & Opera music venues that entertain only the rich elites?
Why did PCs & mainframes handle the Y2K rollover just fine despite alarmists' predictions of global disaster?
Why did McCain make 30 anti American propaganda films in exchange for better treatment by the Vietnamese?
Why is Cuba still dirt poor despite its long existing trade relations with most of the world richest nations?
Do rich nations like Germany, Japan, China and Saudia Arabia participate the US economic embargo of Cuba?
Why doesn't the US federal govt deploy nationwide fiber optic bandwidth as a telecommunication public utility?
Usain Bolt's 9.69 in the 100m eclipses anything Michael Phelps did in any single swimming event. What say you?
Why did God demand a blood sacrifice of his own son when he had the power to simply forgive mankind's sins?
I may be hallucinating but doesn't this pic prove Cavic clearly beat Phelps to the wall in the 100m butterfly?
Why did God place innocent Eve at the mercy of supernatural seducer Satan then punish her for falling victim?
Why do they cheapen the value of Olympic swimming medals by awarding so many medals in so many swim events?
If we continue to privatize the Iraq War by hiring for-profit US contractors doesn't it assure prolonged war?
Why do rich celebrities go to public gyms when they can afford first class gym equipment in their own homes?
Why is drunk driver Michael Phelps glorified as a national hero?
Michael Phelps is great but can he hit a curve ball?
A new GAO report reveals 2/3 of US corporations pay zero income taxes. Is that fair to ordinary US taxpayers?
How does NASA prevent random space dust and debris from damaging the lens of the orbiting Hubble telescope?
Doesn't Russia have a more legit historical claim to Georgia than US claims to the Pacific Hawaiian islands?
Aquatic sports are a major part of Hawaiian culture, so how come no Hawaiians made our Olympic swim team?
Why is there starvation in Africa when millions of wildebeests roam freely as an easy & limitless food source?
How do communist nations like Russia and China produce so many private billionaire capitalist businessman?
Thomas Jefferson ripped black kids from parents & sold them as slaves to highest bidders. Why is he exalted?
If Hitler was such a great orator why is it so difficult for historians to recall even one memorable quote?
Why did Hitler hate Communists & Marxists? Aren't Nazism & Socialism distinctions without any real difference?
How did Hitler figure out how to rule millions of Germans many of whom more educated and smarter than he was?
US troops left Saudi Arabia. If they're invaded we go in & protect the oil. Why not the same policy in Iraq?
Despite WWII atomic might, why was the US unable to secure China for the pro-western Chiang Kai-shek govt?
How come nobody knows how to convert the inexhaustible power of giant crashing ocean waves into usable energy?
OPEC sets crude oil prices, so do they make extra billions by illegally fixing oil futures market prices also?
Why did women think they needed to ride horses side-saddle?
If I vote against Obama does that make me a racist?
Why are NFL player denied guaranteed contracts unlike MLB & NBA players despite generating the most profits?
If I am DUI and somebody jumps in front my moving car, gets hit and dies, am I still guilty of manslaughter?
Can a classical music pianist competently play keyboards in a rock&roll band or be totally lost musically?
US at the mercy of foreign oil puts national security at stake. Why not declare oil a utility and regulate it?
Why does does the US continue to import expensive foreign oil when we are selling domestic oil overseas?
How much gas would Americans save annually if they kept tires inflated and cars tuned?
When Prince was a boy would he graduate from Julliard or get kicked out because his music was too eccentric?
Why geld racehorses instead of more benign methods like shadow rolls and blinders to control equine behavior?
Why don't oil companies drill in the areas for which they already have all the oil leases and govt permits?
How can they justify putting Reggie Miller in the HoF and not Rodman? Doesn't Rodman's career dwarf Reggie's?
What can a basketball coach teach Kobe, Lebron, CP3 or Kidd about the game that they don't already know?
Why did God make it so easy for rats, roaches & flies to live and much easier for cute pandas & koalas to die?
How come flies never starve to death?
Why do Telecoms pay massive expense to run fiber optic cables across ocean floors? Why not simply go wireless?
Why is deep water at the ocean floor very cold if it is closer to the extremely hot core of the earth?
Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity?
At what temperature does a fly drop dead?
Why did our best NBA pros with Duncan, Lebron, Iverson, Wade only win a bronze medal in the 2004 Olympics?
In a national referendum would The Godfather most likely be voted the best movie of all time?
If Truth exists which God is the true God, Jesus or Vishnu? How can anybody establish the proof?
We all know Hitler killed 6 million Jews. Did historians record how many Russian Jews Josef Stalin massacred?
Which activity is more damaging to a society; prostitution or adultery? Why isn't adultery a criminal act?
Payment for sex between consenting adults is a crime because it hurts society. Why aint adultery also a crime?
Men coach womens' basketball in both pro & college. How come women do not coach males at any level of B-ball?
Why is there starvation in Africa when millions of wildebeests roam freely as an easy & limitless food source?
If a beautiful woman consents to have sex with me and I give her $100 to show gratitude, why is that a crime?
Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity?
Would a WNBA game against a boy's high school basketball team get massive TV ratings?
In leadup to war did Israeli Mossad issue intelligence report to confirm Pres Bush claim that Saddam had WMDs?
Is an overnight radio talk show host expected to attract an audience or do the ratings matter after midnight?
How is golf an athletic contest if a 53 yr old geezer staggers out of a rocking chair to lead the Britsh Open?
Why does ESPN televise log rolling and hot dog eating contests but not the Summer League basketball games?
Would a WNBA game against a boy's high school basketball team in a 50,000 seat arena get massive TV ratings?
Why does NBC pressure golden goose Jay Leno to retire despite his total domination of Late Night TV ratings?
Is it true that the North Slope of Alaska contains as much crude oil as there is in all of Saudi Arabia?
If Jesus had to die to pay for the sins of mankind; to whom was the debt owed and to whom was the debt paid?
If Good Friday commemorates the crucifixion torture & death of Jesus Christ shouldn't it be called Bad Friday?
Why don't Vegas casinos use the city's unlimited supply of solar energy to cheaply power their gaming palaces?
If US dependency on foreign oil is a national security issue why not declare domestic oil a public utility?
Why is the US forced to import oil while US oil companies make 80% of profits by selling oil to other nations?
Why did Richard Burton keep buying Liz millions of bucks in jewelry after he was already having sex with her?
If a David Copperfield performed magic in ancient times would've the Bible proclaimed him a deity like Christ?
How did Hitler achieve the speedy, spectacular growth and revitalization of the 1930s Germany economy?
If Obama is legally classified a black man are Michael Jackson's three kids also African Americans?
Can Pres Bush get line-item veto authority if a Congressman attached the measure to a big Appropriations Bill?
Why does US law find it morally superior to invade a nation and kill masses instead of asassinatng the leader?
If a 2nd doctor's opinion of a medical diagnosis contradicts the 1st, how do I determine which one is correct?
Does Abstinence Education include masturbation on the list of pre-marital behaviors forbidden to teenagers?
Are news media complicit with our US Govt concealing the thousands of flag-covered coffins returning from Iraq?
Why don't the police increase drunk driving arrests tenfold by staking out bars & test patrons who drive away?
Why are there strict rules of blood lines to qualify as a Jew. Isn't obsession with blood purity a Nazi idea?

[abudabit]

Well yes and no.

[fandango86]

whew!


What's the purpose of a preacher? If you enjoy a personal relationship with God why do you need the middleman?
The Preacher helps you get closer to God by holding your wallet and your child's penis

Does anybody know if Barack Obama believes in the Black Liberation Theology of his former church?
I would imagine Barrack Obama knows.

Should the US govt pass a law stipulating domestic oil must be sold domestically and not on the world market?
No, because we probably wouldn't like it if the World Market told us we couldn't buy their oil

Is there any chance the Republican Party will ever nominate an African-American presidential candidate?
Of course.

Why do people focus their hatred on oil companies making 8% profit and not Hedge Funds that make 90% profit?
Leave Sonic alone!

Everybody hates mimes. So why do they continue to pretend they are trapped inside an invisible box?
Because nobody will let them out, because they hate them.

Why did the men of the Confederate South fight to the death to defend their legal right to enslave black folk?
They fought to their death to be a free country, able to make their own laws.

Does Gary Glitter get royalty checks each time his "Rock & Roll Part 1&2" anthem is played at sporting events?
Yes

In the USA the politically correct term for black folks is African-American. What are blacks called in the UK?
British citizens

During the Dem primaries, Biden said Obama is not qualified to be President. Why is he now the running mate?
People change their minds, especially when they're offered a really cool job to do it.

Why are small investors denied the right to invest in lucrative IPOs like Google. Is investments game rigged?
Don't understand the question

What was the price per share of Google stock on the first day when ordinary investors were not allowed to buy it?
1 million dollars

Why can't a non-scholarship athlete play college basketball if he has a job to pay his own way through school?
He can, if he makes the team. Ever hear of a 'walk-on?'

If God created mankind wouldn't the evidence of world history prove that He is an under-achiever?
No, the fact that 2 people became several billion proves he was pretty fucking good.

Why do some female runners have big hairdos; doesn't big hair create wind resistance that slows them down?
I'm all for a female athlete actually trying to look like a female

How did a tiny island nation of less than 3 million dominate the world in men & women Olympic sprint events?
Lots of practice running back and forth accross the island

Who is the drop dead beautiful Black female studio host doing Olympic coverage on the CBUT network?
Michelle Obama?

Why are all taxpayers forced to subsidize Symphonic & Opera music venues that entertain only the rich elites?
Same reason the rich elites have to subsidize poor people's meals.

Why did PCs & mainframes handle the Y2K rollover just fine despite alarmists' predictions of global disaster?
Because we fixed the problem. And the news blew the problem out of proportion. Duh.

Why did McCain make 30 anti American propaganda films in exchange for better treatment by the Vietnamese?
Because they were beating the life out of him, I'd imagine

Why is Cuba still dirt poor despite its long existing trade relations with most of the world richest nations?
because of it's long-non existing trade relations with the USA

Do rich nations like Germany, Japan, China and Saudia Arabia participate the US economic embargo of Cuba?
No

Why doesn't the US federal govt deploy nationwide fiber optic bandwidth as a telecommunication public utility?
Because private companies are willing to foot the bill to do it. Why should the taxpayers?

Usain Bolt's 9.69 in the 100m eclipses anything Michael Phelps did in any single swimming event. What say you?
I say 8 golds is more than 1. So fuck you.

Why did God demand a blood sacrifice of his own son when he had the power to simply forgive mankind's sins?
Who are you to question Morgan Freeman?

I may be hallucinating but doesn't this pic prove Cavic clearly beat Phelps to the wall in the 100m butterfly?
Can't see the pic, but I believe they have sensors that say who touched it first, so my answer is no. And leave Phelps alone, you cunt.

Why did God place innocent Eve at the mercy of supernatural seducer Satan then punish her for falling victim?
She wasn't seduced by Satan, she was seduced by Adam's delicious hog.

Why do they cheapen the value of Olympic swimming medals by awarding so many medals in so many swim events?
I believe the value of each medal is still Gold. Gold isn't cheap, my friend.

If we continue to privatize the Iraq War by hiring for-profit US contractors doesn't it assure prolonged war?
Yes, isn't that the point? Don't you watch Michael Moore's movie?

Why do rich celebrities go to public gyms when they can afford first class gym equipment in their own homes?
Celebrities like to be seen working on the bodies that make them famous. It's called an ego boost.

Why is drunk driver Michael Phelps glorified as a national hero?
Because he swims faster than you. I thought I told you leave him alone.

Michael Phelps is great but can he hit a curve ball?
No, and neither can you.

A new GAO report reveals 2/3 of US corporations pay zero income taxes. Is that fair to ordinary US taxpayers?
I didn't think any corporation paid income tax. I thought they paid taxes on revenue.

How does NASA prevent random space dust and debris from damaging the lens of the orbiting Hubble telescope?
Giant windshield wipers

Doesn't Russia have a more legit historical claim to Georgia than US claims to the Pacific Hawaiian islands?
Georgia is part of the U.S.A. last time I checked.

Aquatic sports are a major part of Hawaiian culture, so how come no Hawaiians made our Olympic swim team?
Too busy hitting curveballs. Didn't you see the Little League World Series?

Why is there starvation in Africa when millions of wildebeests roam freely as an easy & limitless food source?
Insert black=lazy joke here

How do communist nations like Russia and China produce so many private billionaire capitalist businessman?
Power of the people.

Thomas Jefferson ripped black kids from parents & sold them as slaves to highest bidders. Why is he exalted?
Because he wrote the fucking declaration of independence, you fucking stupid cunt!

If Hitler was such a great orator why is it so difficult for historians to recall even one memorable quote?
"Struggle is the father of all things. It is not by the principles of humanity that man lives or is able to preserve himself above the animal world, but solely by means of the most brutal struggle. If you do not fight, life will never be won."

Why did Hitler hate Communists & Marxists? Aren't Nazism & Socialism distinctions without any real difference?
The official name of the Nazi party was 'National Socialist German Workers’ Party'.

How did Hitler figure out how to rule millions of Germans many of whom more educated and smarter than he was?
Smart people are just as easily led by a good public speaker as dumb people. Watch tonight for evidence.

US troops left Saudi Arabia. If they're invaded we go in & protect the oil. Why not the same policy in Iraq?
Because we're the ones who invaded, dummy.

Despite WWII atomic might, why was the US unable to secure China for the pro-western Chiang Kai-shek govt?
Same reason we weren't able to secure pro western leadership in Russia. We really didn't want to drop more bombs than we had to. We nuked Japan because they fucking deserved it. China never did nothing to us.

How come nobody knows how to convert the inexhaustible power of giant crashing ocean waves into usable energy?
I know, I'm just not telling.

OPEC sets crude oil prices, so do they make extra billions by illegally fixing oil futures market prices also?
They that has the oil sets the prices. Why is that hard to understand?

Why did women think they needed to ride horses side-saddle?
I don't know if you've ever been kicked in the cunt, but it's not pleasant. Plus, I think it had to do with the type of clothing they wore back in the day. Long dresses and such.

If I vote against Obama does that make me a racist?
Only if you vote against him because he's black.

Why are NFL player denied guaranteed contracts unlike MLB & NBA players despite generating the most profits?
Because they stupidly agreed to give them up in exchange for earlier free agency.

If I am DUI and somebody jumps in front my moving car, gets hit and dies, am I still guilty of manslaughter?
Yes, because your impairment lessens the likelihood that you'd be able to avoid them.

Can a classical music pianist competently play keyboards in a rock&roll band or be totally lost musically?
Many rock muscians trained classicly (Eddie Van Halen and Randy Rhoades come to mind), so yes.

US at the mercy of foreign oil puts national security at stake. Why not declare oil a utility and regulate it?
We can't regulate something we don't control, stupid.

Why does does the US continue to import expensive foreign oil when we are selling domestic oil overseas?
Because their oil is cheaper

How much gas would Americans save annually if they kept tires inflated and cars tuned?
1.4 gallons

When Prince was a boy would he graduate from Julliard or get kicked out because his music was too eccentric?
Prince was a boy?

Why geld racehorses instead of more benign methods like shadow rolls and blinders to control equine behavior?
Why don't you ask Christopher Reeve that question?

Why don't oil companies drill in the areas for which they already have all the oil leases and govt permits?
Who's going to pay for the equipment?

How can they justify putting Reggie Miller in the HoF and not Rodman? Doesn't Rodman's career dwarf Reggie's?
Rodman was a one-dimensional piece to a great team. Miller was an entire team for over a decade. You are a retard.

What can a basketball coach teach Kobe, Lebron, CP3 or Kidd about the game that they don't already know?
How to pass?

Why did God make it so easy for rats, roaches & flies to live and much easier for cute pandas & koalas to die?
God didn't make it easier, we did with all our garbage.

How come flies never starve to death?
Too much shit in the world for them to eat.

Why do Telecoms pay massive expense to run fiber optic cables across ocean floors? Why not simply go wireless?
Because you still would need towers. Those things are expensive and would never stand up to the punishment of...The Perfect Storm

Why is deep water at the ocean floor very cold if it is closer to the extremely hot core of the earth?
Because the sun isn't around to warm it, stupid

Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity?
Because you haven't filed the proper paperwork to get exempted.

At what temperature does a fly drop dead?
87.3

Why did our best NBA pros with Duncan, Lebron, Iverson, Wade only win a bronze medal in the 2004 Olympics?
Laziness and the belief that they would win easily.

In a national referendum would The Godfather most likely be voted the best movie of all time?
No

If Truth exists which God is the true God, Jesus or Vishnu? How can anybody establish the proof?
There is no proof. They're all fairy tales. Believe or don't believe, it's your choice.

We all know Hitler killed 6 million Jews. Did historians record how many Russian Jews Josef Stalin massacred?
perhaps a bit more than that!

Which activity is more damaging to a society; prostitution or adultery? Why isn't adultery a criminal act?
Because people don't pay to committ adultery?

Payment for sex between consenting adults is a crime because it hurts society. Why aint adultery also a crime?
Because people don't pay to committ adultery?

Men coach womens' basketball in both pro & college. How come women do not coach males at any level of B-ball?
Because male athletes do not respect women enough yet.

Why is there starvation in Africa when millions of wildebeests roam freely as an easy & limitless food source?
Already answered.

If a beautiful woman consents to have sex with me and I give her $100 to show gratitude, why is that a crime?
I don't make the laws, I just follow them.

Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity?
Ok, now you're just cheating.

Would a WNBA game against a boy's high school basketball team get massive TV ratings?
Probably better than either sport gets right now

In leadup to war did Israeli Mossad issue intelligence report to confirm Pres Bush claim that Saddam had WMDs?
Don't know.

Is an overnight radio talk show host expected to attract an audience or do the ratings matter after midnight?
Ratings always matter.

How is golf an athletic contest if a 53 yr old geezer staggers out of a rocking chair to lead the Britsh Open?
Maybe Chris Everett's pussy is the fountain of youth.

Why does ESPN televise log rolling and hot dog eating contests but not the Summer League basketball games?
because pat from moonachie doesn't play basketball

Would a WNBA game against a boy's high school basketball team in a 50,000 seat arena get massive TV ratings?
again with the cheating.

Why does NBC pressure golden goose Jay Leno to retire despite his total domination of Late Night TV ratings?
they don't want Conan to leave, and Jay said he wanted to retire, then changed his mind.

Is it true that the North Slope of Alaska contains as much crude oil as there is in all of Saudi Arabia?
Don't know, they won't let us drill to find out.

If Jesus had to die to pay for the sins of mankind; to whom was the debt owed and to whom was the debt paid?
I think Judas got some silver for turning his ass in.

If Good Friday commemorates the crucifixion torture & death of Jesus Christ shouldn't it be called Bad Friday?
It's called Good Friday because our sins were forgiven. Stupid.

Why don't Vegas casinos use the city's unlimited supply of solar energy to cheaply power their gaming palaces?
Why develop new technology when you can use what's already there?

If US dependency on foreign oil is a national security issue why not declare domestic oil a public utility?
repeat question

Why is the US forced to import oil while US oil companies make 80% of profits by selling oil to other nations?
repeat question

Why did Richard Burton keep buying Liz millions of bucks in jewelry after he was already having sex with her?
I'm guessing the sex was awesome.

If a David Copperfield performed magic in ancient times would've the Bible proclaimed him a deity like Christ?
Pretty sure that's how it happened, no?

How did Hitler achieve the speedy, spectacular growth and revitalization of the 1930s Germany economy?
The Volkswagon

If Obama is legally classified a black man are Michael Jackson's three kids also African Americans?
Yes

Can Pres Bush get line-item veto authority if a Congressman attached the measure to a big Appropriations Bill?
Don't understand the question

Why does US law find it morally superior to invade a nation and kill masses instead of asassinatng the leader?
Didn't we try to off Castro and Noriega tons of times?

If a 2nd doctor's opinion of a medical diagnosis contradicts the 1st, how do I determine which one is correct?
3rd opinion breaks the tie

Does Abstinence Education include masturbation on the list of pre-marital behaviors forbidden to teenagers?
I'm guessing so

Are news media complicit with our US Govt concealing the thousands of flag-covered coffins returning from Iraq?
Yep

Why don't the police increase drunk driving arrests tenfold by staking out bars & test patrons who drive away?
I'm pretty sure they do just that.

Why are there strict rules of blood lines to qualify as a Jew. Isn't obsession with blood purity a Nazi idea?
Lots of people have those ideas. Dont make them a bad person

[LiddyRules]

is bitch one?

[Awful Me]

What's the purpose of a preacher? If you enjoy a personal relationship with God why do you need the middleman? HE DEDICATES HIS LIFE TO IT SO HE CAN HELP IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS. HE ISN'T A MIDDLE MAN, HE'S AN ADVISOR


Does anybody know if Barack Obama believes in the Black Liberation Theology of his former church? HE WENT THERE FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE, SOMETHING KEPT HIM COMING BACK


Should the US govt pass a law stipulating domestic oil must be sold domestically and not on the world market? YES


Is there any chance the Republican Party will ever nominate an African-American presidential candidate? YES


Why do people focus their hatred on oil companies making 8% profit and not Hedge Funds that make 90% profit? BECAUSE MY CAR DOESNT RUN ON HEDGE FUNDS


Everybody hates mimes. So why do they continue to pretend they are trapped inside an invisible box? BECAUSE RUBES KEEP DROPPING DOLLARS IN THEIR JARS


Why did the men of the Confederate South fight to the death to defend their legal right to enslave black folk? EVERYBODY NEEDS A HOBBY


Does Gary Glitter get royalty checks each time his "Rock & Roll Part 1&2" anthem is played at sporting events? HE PROBABLY SOLD THE RIGHTS, IF NOT, YES


In the USA the politically correct term for black folks is African-American. What are blacks called in the UK? NIGNOGS


During the Dem primaries, Biden said Obama is not qualified to be President. Why is he now the running mate? NGA GOTTA EAT


Why are small investors denied the right to invest in lucrative IPOs like Google. Is investments game rigged? ANYTHING THAT IS BASED ON WHAT PEOPLE FEEL MIGHT HAPPEN IS RIGGED


What was the price per share of Google stock on the first day when ordinary investors were not allowed to buy it? 300 SMACKERS


Why can't a non-scholarship athlete play college basketball if he has a job to pay his own way through school? BECAUSE YOUR BOSS COULD GIVE YOU EXTRA TO THROW A GAME AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A WAGE AND BECAUSE YOU NEED TO DEVOTE YOUR TIME TO SCHOOL AND PRACTICE. AND BECAUSE SCHOOLS WITH BIG MONEY DONORS COULD FUNNEL MONEY TO KIDS WHO GET PAID TO DO NOTHING GIVING THEM AN ADVANTAGE OVER OTHER SCHOOLS THAT CANT


If God created mankind wouldn't the evidence of world history prove that He is an under-achiever? YES


Why do some female runners have big hairdos; doesn't big hair create wind resistance that slows them down? WOMEN DEFY LOGIC. GET USED TO IT


How did a tiny island nation of less than 3 million dominate the world in men & women Olympic sprint events? IVE BEEN TO THE SHANTY TOWNS IN JAMAICA. YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO RUN FAST


Who is the drop dead beautiful Black female studio host doing Olympic coverage on the CBUT network? NOBODY CARES UNLESS SHE IS BLOWING ME


Why are all taxpayers forced to subsidize Symphonic & Opera music venues that entertain only the rich elites? GET SOME CULTURE. ITS CANT ALL BE THE JEFF FOXWORTHY SHOW AND SPORTCENTER


Why did PCs & mainframes handle the Y2K rollover just fine despite alarmists' predictions of global disaster? NERDS ARE SMART


Why did McCain make 30 anti American propaganda films in exchange for better treatment by the Vietnamese? BECAUSE HAVING LARD SMEARED ON YOUR FEET AND THEN HAVING THEM HELD OVER A FIRE HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. AND THE REST OF THE SHIT THEY DID YOU DONT EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT


Why is Cuba still dirt poor despite its long existing trade relations with most of the world richest nations? DICTATORS GOTTA EAT


Do rich nations like Germany, Japan, China and Saudia Arabia participate the US economic embargo of Cuba? THEY ENJOY GOOD CIGARS


Why doesn't the US federal govt deploy nationwide fiber optic bandwidth as a telecommunication public utility? BECAUSE TULSA THINKS THE INTERNET IS THE DEVIL


Usain Bolt's 9.69 in the 100m eclipses anything Michael Phelps did in any single swimming event. What say you? MICHAEL PHELPS WEARS HIS HATS SIDEWAYS, FUCK HIM IN HIS FUCKHOLE


Why did God demand a blood sacrifice of his own son when he had the power to simply forgive mankind's sins? ITS FICTION


I may be hallucinating but doesn't this pic prove Cavic clearly beat Phelps to the wall in the 100m butterfly? SHUT UP COMMIE


Why did God place innocent Eve at the mercy of supernatural seducer Satan then punish her for falling victim? I ALREADY TOLD YOU WOMEN DEFY LOGIC. ADD TO THAT THAT THEY ARE ALL FUCKING CRAZY. IF THERE IS A GOD HE IS A MAN AND THAT MEANS HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT A WOMAN IS THINKING.


Why do they cheapen the value of Olympic swimming medals by awarding so many medals in so many swim events? BECAUSE WHITE PEOPLE WANT TO FEEL ATHLETIC TOO


If we continue to privatize the Iraq War by hiring for-profit US contractors doesn't it assure prolonged war? QUESTIONS LIKE THAT WILL GET YOU A TRIP TO GITMO


Why do rich celebrities go to public gyms when they can afford first class gym equipment in their own homes? LOOK AT ME! I'M AN ATTENTION WHORE TAKE MY PICTURE MR PAPARAZZI GUY
Why is drunk driver Michael Phelps glorified as a national hero? JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD SWIMMER DOESN'T MAKE YOU A GOOD DRUNK DRIVER. WE ALL DO IT, SOME OF US ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS


Michael Phelps is great but can he hit a curve ball? DOESN'T MATTER SEE ABOVE QUESTION


A new GAO report reveals 2/3 of US corporations pay zero income taxes. Is that fair to ordinary US taxpayers? IF YOU WANT A JOB THEN YES IT IS.


How does NASA prevent random space dust and debris from damaging the lens of the orbiting Hubble telescope? FUCK IF I KNOW


Doesn't Russia have a more legit historical claim to Georgia than US claims to the Pacific Hawaiian islands? BASED ON HISTORY I HAVE A RIGHT TO OWN MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR, THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT.


Aquatic sports are a major part of Hawaiian culture, so how come no Hawaiians made our Olympic swim team? THEY WERE TOO BUSY WINNING THE LITTLE LEAGUE WORLD SERIES


Why is there starvation in Africa when millions of wildebeests roam freely as an easy & limitless food source? WILDEBEESTS TASTE LIKE SHIT


How do communist nations like Russia and China produce so many private billionaire capitalist businessman? LIVING IN A COMMUNIST REGIME FORCES YOU TO LEARN HOW TO BE SMART AND HUSTLE IF YOU WANT ANYTHING MORE THAN THEY GIVE YOU. RISING TO THE TOP FROM THAT GIVES YOU AN ADVANTAGE


Thomas Jefferson ripped black kids from parents & sold them as slaves to highest bidders. Why is he exalted? YOU CAN BE A HYPOCRITE AND STILL DO GREAT THINGS.


If Hitler was such a great orator why is it so difficult for historians to recall even one memorable quote? A GREAT SPEECH ISN'T FULL OF CATCH PHRASES THAT SOUND GOOD AS A SOUND BYTE. ITS AN ALL ENCOMPASSING PASSION OF WORDS AND LANGUAGE


Why did Hitler hate Communists & Marxists? Aren't Nazism & Socialism distinctions without any real difference? THE MUSTACHE


How did Hitler figure out how to rule millions of Germans many of whom more educated and smarter than he was? SEE THE QUESTIONS ABOUT RUSSIAN BILLIONAIRES. BOOK SMART DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE COMMON SENSE. A HUSTLER CAN SEE WHAT YOU NEED AND MAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE GETTING IT.


US troops left Saudi Arabia. If they're invaded we go in & protect the oil. Why not the same policy in Iraq? SAUDIS GOVERNMENT NEEDED A FRIEND SADAAM DID NOT.


Despite WWII atomic might, why was the US unable to secure China for the pro-western Chiang Kai-shek govt? CHINA HAS SURVIVED FOR OVER 2000 YEARS AND WILL EVENTUALLY TAKE OVER AGAIN. THEY DONT NEED US, AND THEY KNOW IT.


How come nobody knows how to convert the inexhaustible power of giant crashing ocean waves into usable energy? BECAUSE COCKSUCKERS THAT CAN AFFORD TO LIVE ON THE COAST CAN AFFORD TO FIGHT AGAINST HAVING THEIR VIEWS RUINED. ITS THE SAME REASON OFF SHORE DRILLING IS A PROBLEM.



OPEC sets crude oil prices, so do they make extra billions by illegally fixing oil futures market prices also? OF COURSE THEY DO. WOULDN'T YOU?



Why did women think they needed to ride horses side-saddle? SO THEY WOULDN'T WRECK THEIR BOXED.



If I vote against Obama does that make me a racist? ONLY IF YOU VOTE AGAINST HIM AND CALL HIM N****R



Why are NFL player denied guaranteed contracts unlike MLB & NBA players despite generating the most profits? BECAUSE NFL OWNERS ARE SMART AND GENE UPSHAW WAS GOOD, BUT NOT GREAT



If I am DUI and somebody jumps in front my moving car, gets hit and dies, am I still guilty of manslaughter? YUP



Can a classical music pianist competently play keyboards in a rock&roll band or be totally lost musically? PROBABLY



US at the mercy of foreign oil puts national security at stake. Why not declare oil a utility and regulate it? BECAUSE TOO MANY POLITICIANS ON BOTH SIDES OF THE ISLE HAVE HUGE INVESTMENTS AND OWE LOTS OF FAVORS



Why does does the US continue to import expensive foreign oil when we are selling domestic oil overseas? SEE ABOVE



How much gas would Americans save annually if they kept tires inflated and cars tuned? MAYBE A TANK OR TWO AT MOST, BUT GOING OVERBOARD WITH MAINTENANCE WILL EAT UP THE SAVINGS



When Prince was a boy would he graduate from Julliard or get kicked out because his music was too eccentric? WHO CARES, HE WROTE PURPLE RAIN THATS ENOUGH IN MY BOOK



Why geld racehorses instead of more benign methods like shadow rolls and blinders to control equine behavior? GELD SOUNDS FANCIER



Why don't oil companies drill in the areas for which they already have all the oil leases and govt permits? 12 BILLION A QUARTER IN PROFIT. THEY DON'T HAVE TO.



How can they justify putting Reggie Miller in the HoF and not Rodman? Doesn't Rodman's career dwarf Reggie's? IF RODMAN GOT A FINGER ON A BALL HE WAS GIVEN CREDIT FOR A REBOUND.



What can a basketball coach teach Kobe, Lebron, CP3 or Kidd about the game that they don't already know? HOW TO PLAY AS A UNIT.



Why did God make it so easy for rats, roaches & flies to live and much easier for cute pandas & koalas to die? UGLY PEOPLE AND UGLY ANIMALS HAVE TO FIGHT HARD FOR WHAT THEY WANT. THEY ADAPT AND OVERCOME. ITS WHY ALL DICTATORS HAVE BEEN UGLY. LIKE A BLOWJOB FROM A FAT GIRL, THEY WANT IT MORE SO THEY GO ALL OUT.



How come flies never starve to death? FLIES ARE LITTLE, SHIT IS EVERYWHERE
Why do Telecoms pay massive expense to run fiber optic cables across ocean floors? Why not simply go wireless? CANCER



Why is deep water at the ocean floor very cold if it is closer to the extremely hot core of the earth? BECAUSE THERE IS STILL MILES OF ROCK BETWEEN THE WATER AND THE LAVA.



Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity? YOU DIDN'T FILL OUT THE RIGHT FORM



At what temperature does a fly drop dead? FREEZING POINT AND BOILING POINT



Why did our best NBA pros with Duncan, Lebron, Iverson, Wade only win a bronze medal in the 2004 Olympics? THEY DIDN'T HAVE COACH K TEACHING THEM HOW TO PLAY AS A UNIT



In a national referendum would The Godfather most likely be voted the best movie of all time? CADDYSHACK



If Truth exists which God is the true God, Jesus or Vishnu? How can anybody establish the proof? YOU CANT. RELIGIONS WILL SAY YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH. ITS THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN COUNTER THE FALLACIES OF THEIR WRITINGS.



We all know Hitler killed 6 million Jews. Did historians record how many Russian Jews Josef Stalin massacred? THE ONLY THING THE DEAD KNOW IS THAT ITS BETTER TO BE ALIVE.



Which activity is more damaging to a society; prostitution or adultery? Why isn't adultery a criminal act? NEITHER AND THIS IS TWO QUESTIONS SO TECHNICALLY YOU HAVE A 100 QUESTIONS. THE REASON ITS NOT A CRIME IS BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS SHAM. IT WAS ORIGINALLY USED AS A WAY TO KEEP WOMEN FROM BEING WHORES, NOW IT IS A BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY.



Payment for sex between consenting adults is a crime because it hurts society. Why aint adultery also a crime? YOU JUST ASKED THAT!



Men coach womens' basketball in both pro & college. How come women do not coach males at any level of B-ball? BECAUSE WOMEN HAVE VAGINAS



Why is there starvation in Africa when millions of wildebeests roam freely as an easy & limitless food source? WHAT THE FUCK? AGAIN WITH THE SAME SHIT? WILDEBEESTS TASTE LIKE SHIT!



If a beautiful woman consents to have sex with me and I give her $100 to show gratitude, why is that a crime? BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN'T GET OVER THEIR OWN SELVES AND THINK THAT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE TO BE JUST LIKE THE BIBLE SAYS THEY ARE.



Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity? BECAUSE PURPLE RABBITS ARE REAL



Would a WNBA game against a boy's high school basketball team get massive TV ratings? NO.



In leadup to war did Israeli Mossad issue intelligence report to confirm Pres Bush claim that Saddam had WMDs? WE NEEDED TO BLOW UP MIDDLE EASTERN PEOPLE AFTER 9-11. HUSSIEN WAS A DICK SO HE BECAME THE SCAPE GOAT



Is an overnight radio talk show host expected to attract an audience or do the ratings matter after midnight? YES BUT NOT AS MUCH AS DAY TIME JOCKS



How is golf an athletic contest if a 53 yr old geezer staggers out of a rocking chair to lead the Britsh Open? BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HAVE SKILL TO DO IT.



Why does ESPN televise log rolling and hot dog eating contests but not the Summer League basketball games? BECAUSE SUMMER LEAGUE BBALL IS LIKE WATCHING MIDDLE SCHOOL ATHLETICS. IF YOU DONT HAVE A KID IN IN, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.



Would a WNBA game against a boy's high school basketball team in a 50,000 seat arena get massive TV ratings? NO.



Why does NBC pressure golden goose Jay Leno to retire despite his total domination of Late Night TV ratings? THE SAME REASON THE PACKERS WANT TO MOVE ON FROM FARVE. YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE.



Is it true that the North Slope of Alaska contains as much crude oil as there is in all of Saudi Arabia? PROBABLY.



If Jesus had to die to pay for the sins of mankind; to whom was the debt owed and to whom was the debt paid? ITS LIKE THE NATIONAL DEBT. WE OWE OTHER COUNTRIES MONEY BUT AT THE SAME TIME WE GIVE THEM AID SO ITS REALLY A WASH.



If Good Friday commemorates the crucifixion torture & death of Jesus Christ shouldn't it be called Bad Friday? ITS GOOD THAT WE ARE FORGIVEN OF OUR SINS. IF YOU BELIEVE IN THAT.



Why don't Vegas casinos use the city's unlimited supply of solar energy to cheaply power their gaming palaces? TOO BUSY GAMBLING



If US dependency on foreign oil is a national security issue why not declare domestic oil a public utility? POLITICIANS ARE IN ON IT.



Why is the US forced to import oil while US oil companies make 80% of profits by selling oil to other nations? POLITICIANS ARE IN ON IT



Why did Richard Burton keep buying Liz millions of bucks in jewelry after he was already having sex with her? GUYS DO STUPID SHIT FOR PUSSY



If a David Copperfield performed magic in ancient times would've the Bible proclaimed him a deity like Christ? NO, EVEN THEN THEY KNEW DOUCHE WHEN THEY SAW HIM.



How did Hitler achieve the speedy, spectacular growth and revitalization of the 1930s Germany economy? HE WAS A HUSTLER



If Obama is legally classified a black man are Michael Jackson's three kids also African Americans? YES. ITS A FALSE HOOD OF CULTURAL HERITAGE AND NOT SO MUCH TO DO WITH BEING AFRICAN. THATS WHY REAL AFRICANS DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM.



Can Pres Bush get line-item veto authority if a Congressman attached the measure to a big Appropriations Bill? YUP



Why does US law find it morally superior to invade a nation and kill masses instead of asassinatng the leader? STALIN SAID: "A SINGLE DEATH IS A TRAGEDY, A MILLION DEATHS IS A STATISTIC."



If a 2nd doctor's opinion of a medical diagnosis contradicts the 1st, how do I determine which one is correct? COIN TOSS



Does Abstinence Education include masturbation on the list of pre-marital behaviors forbidden to teenagers? NOPE. THAT WOULD MEAN THAT SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TO BE REALISTIC WITH THE KIDS



Are news media complicit with our US Govt concealing the thousands of flag-covered coffins returning from Iraq? YES



Why don't the police increase drunk driving arrests tenfold by staking out bars & test patrons who drive away? PROFILING, PLUS BARS PAY COPS TO WORK EXTRA DUTY AND PAY TAXES.
Why are there strict rules of blood lines to qualify as a Jew. Isn't obsession with blood purity a Nazi idea? JUDAISM IS A RELIGION, YOU CAN CONVERT




Even though you had lots of duplicate question i believe i have them all answered correctly.

[umo]

whew!
:clap::clap::clap:

Nice job fandango. You displayed the sardonic incisive wit of George Carlin, Jim Norton and Professor Irwin Corey combined. If you ain't a comic...I think you might have missed your true calling.

[LIST]
Even though you had lots of duplicate question i believe i have them all answered correctly.
Awful Me might be a cynic or a sage. Either way, well done. Sorry bout the duplicates.

[Awful Me]

* Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity?

Because you haven't filed the proper paperwork to get exempted.

Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity? YOU DIDN'T FILL OUT THE RIGHT FORM

i don't know if should say great minds think alike, or say we are both hacks.

[DoucheMeister]

You guys have WAY to much time on your hands...........

[Death Metal Moe]

You guys have WAY to much time on your hands...........

QFT.

Sorry but this thing reminds me of those annoying questionaire things people used to send me in MySpace.

After a couple of times of me deleting the mail they got the hint.

[Jolie]

Next time can you ask them one at a time? I got tired about half way (or maybe a third of the way) through fandangos post and never made it to the others.

[umo]

Next time can you ask them one at a time? I got tired about half way (or maybe a third of the way) through fandangos post and never made it to the others.
Who says ya gotta answer all of them? Why not respond only to the questions you find interesting.

[Jolie]

Who says ya gotta answer all of them? Why not respond only to the questions you find interesting.

That would mean I would have to read them all.

[Jolie]

Ill go for this one..

Why did women think they needed to ride horses side-saddle?

Because they were always wearing skirts, and it was considered racy to expose legs as much as one would need to to hike the skirt up and ride the normal way.

[LiddyRules]

I answered, I didn't care. I don't know if I repeated others answers. But I'm done now.


What's the purpose of a preacher? If you enjoy a personal relationship with God why do you need the middleman? THE PURPOSE OF A PREACHER IS TO PREACH. YOU NEED A MIDDLE MAN BECAUSE THEY SERVED A PURPOSE IN THE TIME WHEN THE VAST, VAST MAJORITY OF THE POPULACE WAS ILLITERATE. PART OF MARTIN LUTHER'S FECES INCLUDED THAT PEOPLE SHOULD FIND GOD ON THEIR OWN.

Does anybody know if Barack Obama believes in the Black Liberation Theology of his former church? SURE, WHY NOT. IF IT'S SOMETHING THAT SCARES RICH WHITE PEOPLE HE BELIEVES IN IT.

Should the US govt pass a law stipulating domestic oil must be sold domestically and not on the world market? THE US GOVERNMENT PASSING A LAW THAT HURTS THE OIL COMPANIES? EVEN OBAMA WON'T DO THAT.


Is there any chance the Republican Party will ever nominate an African-American presidential candidate? IF OBAMA WINS, MAYBE.

Why do people focus their hatred on oil companies making 8% profit and not Hedge Funds that make 90% profit? BECAUSE PEOPLE NEED OIL AND PEOPLE DON'T NEED HEDGES.

Everybody hates mimes. So why do they continue to pretend they are trapped inside an invisible box? IT'S WHAT THEY DO. IT'S WHO THEY ARE. YOU DON'T BLAME THE FISH FOR SWIMMING. ALSO, ITS A METAPHOR FOR THE INVISIBLE BOX WE'RE ALL IN.

Why did the men of the Confederate South fight to the death to defend their legal right to enslave black folk? BECAUSE BLACKS AREN'T PEOPLE. WACKBAG SHOULD HAVE TAUGHT YOU THAT ONE.

Does Gary Glitter get royalty checks each time his "Rock & Roll Part 1&2" anthem is played at sporting events? YES.

In the USA the politically correct term for black folks is African-American. What are blacks called in the UK? *******.

During the Dem primaries, Biden said Obama is not qualified to be President. Why is he now the running mate? DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN POLITICKING TO YOU? ALSO, HE WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT.

Why are small investors denied the right to invest in lucrative IPOs like Google. Is investments game rigged? YES.

What was the price per share of Google stock on the first day when ordinary investors were not allowed to buy it? I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT A STOCK GUY.

Why can't a non-scholarship athlete play college basketball if he has a job to pay his own way through school? LISTEN TO RON AND FEZ. THEY DISCUSS THIS TOPIC EVERY WEEK.

If God created mankind wouldn't the evidence of world history prove that He is an under-achiever? GOD EXISTED TO ENJOY US IN A SADISTIC FRENZY. HE LAUGHS AT OUR MISTAKES. THE MORE WE FAIL, THE HARDER HIS COCK GETS.

Why do some female runners have big hairdos; doesn't big hair create wind resistance that slows them down? I'M NOT A PHYSICIST.

How did a tiny island nation of less than 3 million dominate the world in men & women Olympic sprint events? BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT LAZY SLOBS LIKE THE LOT OF US.

Who is the drop dead beautiful Black female studio host doing Olympic coverage on the CBUT network? I DON'T KNOW BUT THE BILL MAHER SHOW OCCASIONALLY HAS THIS SEXY NUBIAN PRINCESS.

Why are all taxpayers forced to subsidize Symphonic & Opera music venues that entertain only the rich elites? I HAVE NO PROBLEM SUBSIDIZING ART. IF I HAD MONEY, I'D RATHER GIVE MONEY TO ART-BASED CHARITIES THAN NON-ART BASED CHARITIES.

Why did PCs & mainframes handle the Y2K rollover just fine despite alarmists' predictions of global disaster? BECAUSE THE ALARMISTS MADE PREDICTIONS.

Why did McCain make 30 anti American propaganda films in exchange for better treatment by the Vietnamese? THERE ARE NO SMALL ROLES, JUST SMALL ACTORS.

Why is Cuba still dirt poor despite its long existing trade relations with most of the world richest nations? SAME REASON AFRICA ISN'T ANY BETTER DESPITE ALL THE AID THE COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD GIVE THEM.

Do rich nations like Germany, Japan, China and Saudia Arabia participate the US economic embargo of Cuba? I DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY NOT. IF CANADA DOESN'T, THEY PROBABLY DON'T.

Why doesn't the US federal govt deploy nationwide fiber optic bandwidth as a telecommunication public utility? BECAUSE IF THEY DID, THE INTERNET WOULD GO DOWN IN A MONTH.

Usain Bolt's 9.69 in the 100m eclipses anything Michael Phelps did in any single swimming event. What say you? AMERICA!!!

Why did God demand a blood sacrifice of his own son when he had the power to simply forgive mankind's sins? WHY DID GOD FORCE ABRAHAM TO SACRIFICE THE SON HE SO DESPERATELY WISHED FOR? BECAUSE HE'S A PSYCHOPATH.

I may be hallucinating but doesn't this pic prove Cavic clearly beat Phelps to the wall in the 100m butterfly? NO.

Why did God place innocent Eve at the mercy of supernatural seducer Satan then punish her for falling victim? BECAUSE HE IS A SADIST. ANY QUESTION YOU HAVE ABOUT GOD OR GOD'S PLAN CAN BE ANSWERED WITH "HE'S A SADIST."

Why do they cheapen the value of Olympic swimming medals by awarding so many medals in so many swim events? AS IF OLYMPICS MEAN ANYTHING ANYWAY.

If we continue to privatize the Iraq War by hiring for-profit US contractors doesn't it assure prolonged war? OF COURSE.

Why do rich celebrities go to public gyms when they can afford first class gym equipment in their own homes? SO TMZ CAN TAKE PHOTOS OF THEIR ABS.

Why is drunk driver Michael Phelps glorified as a national hero? JUST BECAUSE HE DROVE DRUNK DOESN'T MAKE HIM A BAD PERSON.

Michael Phelps is great but can he hit a curve ball? I DON'T CARE. I HATE SPORTS.

A new GAO report reveals 2/3 of US corporations pay zero income taxes. Is that fair to ordinary US taxpayers? OF COURSE. CORPORATIONS ARE BETTER THAN US.

How does NASA prevent random space dust and debris from damaging the lens of the orbiting Hubble telescope? BECAUSE THE HUBBLE ISN'T REAL, ITS ALL CGI.

Doesn't Russia have a more legit historical claim to Georgia than US claims to the Pacific Hawaiian islands? WELL WE NEVER LIKE WENT TO WAR WITH AFRICA OR HAWAII.

Aquatic sports are a major part of Hawaiian culture, so how come no Hawaiians made our Olympic swim team? DID YOU CHECK OUT THE ABS ON MICHAEL PHELPS?

Why is there starvation in Africa when millions of wildebeests roam freely as an easy & limitless food source? BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO WEAK TO KILL WILDEBEASTS. ALSO, THEY'RE BUSY PRAYING TO A COKE BOTTLE.

How do communist nations like Russia and China produce so many private billionaire capitalist businessman? BECAUSE THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE CRUSH THE PATHETIC PEOPLE.

Thomas Jefferson ripped black kids from parents & sold them as slaves to highest bidders. Why is he exalted? IT WAS THE STYLE AT THE TIME. WHAT'S THE NEXT QUESTION? "IF THOMAS JEFFERSON WROTE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, HOW COME HE OWNED SLAVES?"

If Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, how come he owned slaves? WELL BOY IS MY FACE RED.

If Hitler was such a great orator why is it so difficult for historians to recall even one memorable quote? ALL IN GERMAN.

Why did Hitler hate Communists & Marxists? Aren't Nazism & Socialism distinctions without any real difference? NOT REALLY.

How did Hitler figure out how to rule millions of Germans many of whom more educated and smarter than he was? OCCULT POWERS + HYPNOTIC ORATORY STYLE + BITTERNESS OVER WWII + MAJORITY OF THEM WERE A LOT DUMBER THAN HE WAS. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE STUPIDITY AND EASILY LEADIBILITY OF THE MASSES.

US troops left Saudi Arabia. If they're invaded we go in & protect the oil. Why not the same policy in Iraq? AMERICA!!

Despite WWII atomic might, why was the US unable to secure China for the pro-western Chiang Kai-shek govt? MAKE PEEPEE IN COKE.

How come nobody knows how to convert the inexhaustible power of giant crashing ocean waves into usable energy? AQUAMAN DOES

AT THIS POINT LIDDY WOULD LIKE TO SAY HE'S REALLY TIRED AND BORED OF THESE STUPID QUESTIONS AND HE REALIZES THAT NOTHING HE'S SAID IS PARTICULARLY FUNNY BUT FUCK IT.

OPEC sets crude oil prices, so do they make extra billions by illegally fixing oil futures market prices also? YES.

Why did women think they needed to ride horses side-saddle? OTHERWISE THEY'D ORGASM. LIKE, A LOT.

If I vote against Obama does that make me a racist? YES.

Why are NFL player denied guaranteed contracts unlike MLB & NBA players despite generating the most profits? I DON'T KNOW.

If I am DUI and somebody jumps in front my moving car, gets hit and dies, am I still guilty of manslaughter? I DON'T KNOW, I'M NOT A LAWYER.

Can a classical music pianist competently play keyboards in a rock&roll band or be totally lost musically? HELL YES HE CAN.

US at the mercy of foreign oil puts national security at stake. Why not declare oil a utility and regulate it? UNCONSTITUTIONAL. ALSO, OUR POLITICIANS ARE OWNED BY OPEC.

Why does does the US continue to import expensive foreign oil when we are selling domestic oil overseas? $

How much gas would Americans save annually if they kept tires inflated and cars tuned? $563.

When Prince was a boy would he graduate from Julliard or get kicked out because his music was too eccentric? KICKED OUT.

Why geld racehorses instead of more benign methods like shadow rolls and blinders to control equine behavior? HORSIES ARE PRETTY.

Why don't oil companies drill in the areas for which they already have all the oil leases and govt permits? BECAUSE THEY WANT MORE LAND AND GOD DAMN IT, THEY'LL GET IT.

How can they justify putting Reggie Miller in the HoF and not Rodman? Doesn't Rodman's career dwarf Reggie's? AGAIN, I HATE SPORTS AND DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO JOCKS.

What can a basketball coach teach Kobe, Lebron, CP3 or Kidd about the game that they don't already know? HOW TO PLAY WITH OTHERS.

Why did God make it so easy for rats, roaches & flies to live and much easier for cute pandas & koalas to die? BECAUSE HE'S A SADIST. SEE ABOVE.

How come flies never starve to death? ENOUGH SHIT IN THE STREETS FOR A FEAST.

Why do Telecoms pay massive expense to run fiber optic cables across ocean floors? Why not simply go wireless? WIRELESS DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK.

Why is deep water at the ocean floor very cold if it is closer to the extremely hot core of the earth? PRESSURE, YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO PACE YOURSELF.

Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity? BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT FILLING OUT THE RIGHT FORMS.

At what temperature does a fly drop dead? NEVER.

Why did our best NBA pros with Duncan, Lebron, Iverson, Wade only win a bronze medal in the 2004 Olympics? WHAT'S WITH ALL THE SPORTS QUESTIONS. CHRIST.

In a national referendum would The Godfather most likely be voted the best movie of all time? PROBABLY NOT.

If Truth exists which God is the true God, Jesus or Vishnu? How can anybody establish the proof? GOD IS A SADIST. SEE ABOVE.

We all know Hitler killed 6 million Jews. Did historians record how many Russian Jews Josef Stalin massacred? 100 MILLION.

Which activity is more damaging to a society; prostitution or adultery? Why isn't adultery a criminal act? ADULTERY. BECAUSE IT'S CHEAPER.

Payment for sex between consenting adults is a crime because it hurts society. Why aint adultery also a crime? YOU JUST ASKED THIS FUCKING QUESTION. CRIMINY.

Men coach womens' basketball in both pro & college. How come women do not coach males at any level of B-ball? IGNORING ALL SPORTS QUESTIONS.

Why is there starvation in Africa when millions of wildebeests roam freely as an easy & limitless food source? YOU ALREADY ASKED THIS ALREADY.

If a beautiful woman consents to have sex with me and I give her $100 to show gratitude, why is that a crime? BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE.

Why does my religious belief in an invisible Purple Rabbit get no tax exemption like Islam and Christianity? YOU ALREADY ASKED THIS ALREADY.

Would a WNBA game against a boy's high school basketball team get massive TV ratings? NO.

In leadup to war did Israeli Mossad issue intelligence report to confirm Pres Bush claim that Saddam had WMDs? MAYBE.

Is an overnight radio talk show host expected to attract an audience or do the ratings matter after midnight? YES. R+F.COM WAS LEGENDARY.

How is golf an athletic contest if a 53 yr old geezer staggers out of a rocking chair to lead the Britsh Open? IGNORING ALL SPORTS QUESTIONS.

Why does ESPN televise log rolling and hot dog eating contests but not the Summer League basketball games? IGNORING ALL SPORTS QUESTIONS.

Would a WNBA game against a boy's high school basketball team in a 50,000 seat arena get massive TV ratings? IGNORING ALL SPORTS QUESTIONS.

Why does NBC pressure golden goose Jay Leno to retire despite his total domination of Late Night TV ratings? BECAUSE THEY'RE IDIOTS WHO CANCELLED JOURNEYMAN. THEN AGAIN, CONAN IS BETTER THAN LENO. LENO SUCKS ANYWAY.

Is it true that the North Slope of Alaska contains as much crude oil as there is in all of Saudi Arabia? NO.

If Jesus had to die to pay for the sins of mankind; to whom was the debt owed and to whom was the debt paid? DEBT WAS OWED TO GOD AND PAID TO GOD.

If Good Friday commemorates the crucifixion torture & death of Jesus Christ shouldn't it be called Bad Friday? JESUS WAS A DICK SO PEOPLE WERE HAPPY HE DIED. ITS ONLY BECAUSE OF REVISIONIST HISTORY. ALSO, IT WAS GOOD SINCE HE WAS UNITED WITH GOD.

Why don't Vegas casinos use the city's unlimited supply of solar energy to cheaply power their gaming palaces? MAFIA.

If US dependency on foreign oil is a national security issue why not declare domestic oil a public utility? ASKED THIS ALREADY.

Why is the US forced to import oil while US oil companies make 80% of profits by selling oil to other nations? OIL COMPANIES OWN US.

Why did Richard Burton keep buying Liz millions of bucks in jewelry after he was already having sex with her? BECAUSE YOU BUY YOUR CHICK NICE THINGS.

If a David Copperfield performed magic in ancient times would've the Bible proclaimed him a deity like Christ? THE BIBLE I READ.

How did Hitler achieve the speedy, spectacular growth and revitalization of the 1930s Germany economy? WAR.

If Obama is legally classified a black man are Michael Jackson's three kids also African Americans? NO. THEY'RE MONSTERS.

Can Pres Bush get line-item veto authority if a Congressman attached the measure to a big Appropriations Bill? YES.

Why does US law find it morally superior to invade a nation and kill masses instead of asassinatng the leader? SUPPORT OUR TROOPS.

If a 2nd doctor's opinion of a medical diagnosis contradicts the 1st, how do I determine which one is correct? THE THIRD.

Does Abstinence Education include masturbation on the list of pre-marital behaviors forbidden to teenagers? YES.

Are news media complicit with our US Govt concealing the thousands of flag-covered coffins returning from Iraq? YES.

Why don't the police increase drunk driving arrests tenfold by staking out bars & test patrons who drive away? WHO SAYS THEY DON'T.

Why are there strict rules of blood lines to qualify as a Jew. Isn't obsession with blood purity a Nazi idea? NO.



Holy shit, am I done?

[umo]

Why do people focus their hatred on oil companies making 8% profit and not Hedge Funds that make 90% profit? BECAUSE MY CAR DOESNT RUN ON HEDGE FUNDS
I'm sorry but that is goddam funny.

[Jef Leppard]

can i get cliffs please? i got a 100 word read limit.

[Awful Me]

I'm sorry but that is goddam funny.

It's my job to be funny.

[Awful Me]

can i get cliffs please? i got a 100 word read limit.


Cliffs:

Questions are asked. Several of us answered them. Some seriously, some humorously, some a mix of both. You would have enjoyed it.

[LiddyRules]

My answers sucked. What a waste of 2 hours and 15 minutes of my life.

[Awful Me]

My answers sucked. What a waste of 2 hours and 15 minutes of my life.



Every post of your is precious and should be studied as such.

[kloraferm]

To all of those, I say... possibly.

[Jef Leppard]

Cliffs:

Questions are asked. Several of us answered them. Some seriously, some humorously, some a mix of both. You would have enjoyed it.

thanks. maybe. nah i doubt it.