Intro the Dell computer guy doing his Jimmy Stewart impression while helping out a young girl with her computer problems. He tells her: "Calm down, and keep your chin up" She says she is really confused, he says: "Your going to turn this thing around" Classic!
The boys jump right in and give out the phone number for everyone, including... Boston, again. That's right the boys will be in Boston tomorrow for the Chowder bowl. They decided to call off the ticket rip up, because they know there is going to be a big showing when they get to WBCN. There will be plenty of girls there. the boys jump right into the "Naughty nighty" contest and in particular the first girl to show up for the contest in Boston. The boys say that Boston is representing in a
Big way! Old number forty-four, awe scary. The boys read some Instant feedback's, Anthony: "I know the camera adds pounds, but how many cameras did Chachi use?" "She counts as three contestants, Boston is safe" Opie then adds: "I'm happy to see, Ted Kennedy has entered the contest" Then the boys get into the race for most girls in one city. So far Philly is in the lead with 17, coming in second Cleveland with 13, New York with a disappointing 8, DC 3, Buffalo 2, and Boston and Sacramento 1. As Opie put it: "Thank God for syndication, otherwise this contest would have been a bust" Then the boys take a phone call from contestant #36 Leanne from Buffalo. She says she is going to go in for a re-shoot, because she didn't like the way they came out.
Then, a Ranger fan calls in and starts talking about how the Rangers may have lost, but the Islanders got there asses kicked. Opie agreed, but told the guy to look at the standings. The caller also added that Islander fan need to stay away from Madison Square Garden, because they are too stupid to shut up, when their team is winning. He said some Islander fan was kicking the Rangers when they were down and he got pelted with 3 beers. Then he starts calling Islander fans pussies and Opie tries to say that Islander fans fight back, but even Anthony turned on him, so Opie punched the Ranger fan out. Then, the boys get a call from a DC brother calls in to tell the boys they are doing a great job and the word is spreading like wild fire in DC. He also added that they should lay off the big bitches. because he likes the chicks that got some heavy junk in the trunk. Then, the boys start listing good places to go to find hot chick in Boston. They start with the local references (ding, ding) Then, another brother checks in and says that that last brother that called doesn't know anything. He said that the brothers love the "Slim goody" not all black guys love the fat girls. He made a reference to #4 Kandee, saying she's big, but it's okay, he can hit that shit from behind. Then contestant #27 Mary Jo calls in to say that her pictures have been pulled, but it's okay, because the real prize was meeting O & A. Though, the guys were upset, because she was pretty hot and asked her what happened, she really didn't get into it and just hung up sating she already go her prize. Sweet girl. The boys mention that the guy from Classicpinball.com has brought in the brand new T2 pinball machine, and Anthony is ecstatic. Opie quickly says: "Okay, where's the sledgehammer?" Anthony said "Don't you dare, I will jump in front of that thing before you touch it"
(Break)
The boys get back and take a few phone calls, the most interesting one came from a guy who was wondering about Stalker Patty's toe nails and if the boys were going to put them in the clam chowder. They didn't say no, exactly, but they said that they wouldn't want to go ruining 40 gallons of good clam chowder. But, Opie being the bastard says: "But, you never know, we may put them in without telling anyone" So that leaves a fear factor on the contestants head. Then Anthony starts to make people sick, by explaining the Clam chowder to a T. He went on and on about how chunky and creamy the clam chowder is going to be, and how it is full of milky white goodness, little bits of clam flesh. He went on, saying it is going to be 40 gallons of pure thick, white, chunky, milky goodness, New England's best. Then, it finally got to us listeners, people started calling in saying they were getting sick, begging Anthony stop right away. Another dude called and said he just had a Clam chowder for lunch and he was listening to Anthony and spewed out of the window. It went on and on, as Anthony would not stop.
Later, the boys got on the phone with an old friend, who had been absent as of late. Jay Mohr called in and said that he misses the guys and can't wait to get in the studio again. He went on about how he has a show he is doing in New Orleans. He deacon Jones will be there singing and shit. He also made a derogatory
joke about New Orleans, that sparked a few phone calls from pissed of New Orleans listeners and Jay said: "It was just a little joke, geez Louise, I was just horsing around" then Norton said: "Did you just saying horsing around?" Then, Ricky the cabbie from New Orleans calls in and says that he just seen two hookers brawling on the sidewalk and just had to call in and tell the guys, so Opie wondered why he couldn't help out by getting a camera and taking some snapshots of these things. Then, Jay said: "He would need an opposable thumb for that" Good line! Then they went into Jay's time at SNL and how he remembered in one of his few TV appearances, when Kelsey Grammer was on the show, and coincidentally his brothers had been killed by sharks. He told how Kelsey wanted to do a James Bond skit, and they picked one where sharks attack, he remembered they had to change it, because Kelsey was in the rehearsal with tears in his eyes. They also brought up Jay's time at press day for the Super bowl. He had asked Brian Cox if he ever watched "OZ" naked. He made a reference to last weeks episode of "OZ" with the Latino guy in the shower, saying he should have yanked it a little bit before doing the scene. He said it looked like a little triangle. He said he knows Luke Perry yanked a little before doing his naked scene. He also told the guys they had to get down to Cleveland, because they have blown up over there. The hype for the show is insane, they love O & A in Cleveland. Then, he shifted back to New Orleans and his show, he said if you come to his show, make sure you make a left when leaving the place, because if you make a right, bad things will happen. He went into how there is ghetto in New Orleans like in any big city. The boy tell Jay that they have Fozzy on the line. Fozzy said that Anna was coming in for her re-shoot, and the boys wondered why she wasn't allowed to bare it all on her first shoot. Fozzy said it was the rules he was handed, O & A asked from who, and he said John Rossi. Opie said John Rossi does sticker stops, he's a nobody. Then Jay pops in and with the Earl Weaver voice says: "John Rossi is lucky he's in effing radio" He repeats a bunch of Earl Weaver lines and the boys say they have to play the clip when they go to break. Then, the boys urge a girl to get her ass to the studio in Cleveland and show Fozzy their hairy pork chop.
(Break- The Earl Weaver clip, you could probably find it on Foundrymusic)
As the boys get back from break, a chick comes in the studio and says she just took her pictures and the boys are just taken back by the size of her titties. I think they were 36 D's. If you are wondering, her name is Jess and she is contestant #45. Go to OpieandAnthony.com to check her out! She leaves and the boys take a phone call, it's some guy who had nothing but good things to say about Norton's website, Eatabullet.com. So, Norton seeing the opportunity to be a whore, says: "Oh, come on, this is no time to be plugging Eatabullet.com"
Whore!
After Norton's whore act, the boys bring in the guy who brought them the T2 pinball machine. Anthony says he loves it and is already having a blast with it. He says that it is so much better to play then the Rolling Stones pinball machine. The guy from Classicpinball.com said that if Anthony wants the settings set to where only he can play it, they would gladly do it. Anthony paused for a second, and then said that he would be fair and let everyone use it. Then the boys take a call from Chachi, and they begin to abuse him about him lying and saying the girl that came down yesterday was hot. He said that he was looking at her, and all he could see was the cleavage, and when she took off her shirt she had nothing, the tits just dropped. In a desperate attempt to get girls to come down, he offered tickets to Creed at the Fleet center. He will do anything to redeem himself.
Then, WJFK in DC calls in and says that they have a new girl for the contest and she is pretty hot. He mentions that she is a professional wrestler. The boys get a bit scared and wonder if she is a bulky bitch, the guy says that she is no Chyna and not to worry, because she is hot. He also mentioned that the hottest bitch in the whole contest Stephanie will be coming back to the studio for a re-shoot, the boys wonder why, but definitely encourage re-shoot's. It gives a fresh outlook on the girl. You have to keep things fresh.
The scene then shifts to some chick Katie from "Jane" magazine. Who sent in her résumé to Bill Clinton's office, like hundreds of other women, to see if she could get an internship there. Though, unlike the others she sent a picture of herself with it. They called her back right away to tell her she had the job. Then, the boys start to joke around a little, but they notice she has no sense of humor, so this is where things start to get shaky. Norton asks: "If Mr. Clinton were to hit on you, would you except his invitation?" She said she would politely decline. Anthony mentions the last photo he has seen of the Clinton. which was with four girls, and he had his arm around a blonde with big boobs. They asked if she had big boobs. She said she was healthy, so the boys start getting tired of her and her uptight ass, start to ask edgier questions like Norton for example: "Hey toots, would you be mad if Clinton were to arc his seed on you?" She doesn't really understand it, so the boys have to spell it out for her: "You know like Lewinsky and her blue dress" So, she says she's not touching that. The boys getting bored decide to play a game. Opie: "Okay, she can't hear us right now, silent game" So Opie coaxes her in by asking her what she does for the magazine. And she's off.....bla...bla....bla.......Hello?..... Then she goes silent, but she does not hang up. The boys start to wonder if she is using the best defense mechanism against the silent game, be silent right back. Then, after a minute or two of silence you hear a dial tone and someone dialing a number, a busy signal, again, and again. She is calling the same line that she is still on. She keeps getting a busy signal, duh! She begins to ask the people in the background, if she is done, explaining that she doesn't know what happened. So, she goes silent again, and then start to call the station again, Anthony says "Opie, I'll bet you ten bucks it's busy" It was. Then someone who she was with tells her she is on the air, she then says: "Hello?" then quickly hangs up. One of the best "Silent games" ever, if not the best.
(Quick break- FU line)
The boys are back with a little Offspring, and Anthony is pissed off, he was just getting going with the pinball game and he had to get back on the air. Then, Anthony says he has just been informed that Rocco of WAAF has scammed Opie and Anthony by entering the "Naughty nighty" contest. The only Boston representation.
They start with a few digs to the fags at the other Boston station, talking about their gay bits, like the fake wedding between Rocco and Matty. All setup by the biggest fag DA-DA-Dave Dickless. Then, Limo (annoying laugh) Anthony comes in and the boys are pissed that he would bring girls that didn't have and Identification. He tell the guys that Rick never told him they needed ID's, which sets Rick off. Rick starts calling him a liar and that he told him a million times to make sure they have ID's. Then Frenchy call in, he starts to berating Limo Anthony with his French accent, calling him a loser, and telling him to kill himself. Annoying laugh Ant starts getting pissed and curses, he tells Frenchy to come meet him and say that stuff. Frenchy, goes off on him calling him a big tough guy. Then, Frenchy with the clincher: "You Greasball, go home and eat a cannoli" It goes on and then some listeners call in and say they hate Frenchy, saying he makes no sense. But, isn't that what's funny about it?
Then, the Three strippers that Limo Anthony brought come in the studio, right off the bat these potty mouth whores start cursing up a storm and the boys almost run out of dump. The boys are annoyed, the listeners are annoyed, Jim Norton is as happy as a pig in shit. These bitches were all over him, as the boys played the pimp hand for him. They kept saying he is rich and has a wad of cash in his pockets. They added that he'd pay a high price for a hummer. The girls intrigued start to sit on "Norman's" lap. These stupid bitches were calling him Norman. Then, Anthony tells Jim to make these girls shut up with some "Chlorofirm" so Norton says he'd rather take them for a trip "Acloss" the country. Good callbacks! Soon after Norton's man in the cannon's helmet pops out, the boys urge Limo Anthony to take the girls out of the studio. The boys head into break.
(Break)
The boys comeback for a little "What did you learn?" and tell everybody they will see them in Boston tomorrow. Towards the end of the show the boys said they didn't do anything they wanted to do today. They added if anyone learned anything, they would be shocked. Well, although it was hard to keep notes today, I did learn that if you beat a big dead horse long enough, it will drop out of a contest.
The poor thing. A very entertaining show!
Tomorrow: "Boston Chowder Bowl" for tickets to the Super bowl. [Over-dramatized deep voice] -- "Everybody's gonna puke" and more Naughty nighties! Be listening! Have your computers on. I hope I can bring you the review, if not I will try to take notes. Peace and be happy people!
Die sir's
Thursday 1/31/02 - #44 Ouch, ouch, I quit!
