3:45-4:15
O&A are talking about Norton’s upcoming shows, and the promoters are using their names, but not running ads on the program. They feel that they’re being taken advantage of. Which leads into a rant about how they’re “presenting” Dice at the Beacon, but knew nothing about it. They mention that the show’s success relies on ratings and Ad dollars.
http://www.eatabullet.com/
Opie and Norton went out Thurs. night to try out some of Jim’s new material. First the went to Dangerfields, which looks the same as the day it opened in the “70’s. When Jim finally got on stage, and just died. The audience wouldn’t laugh at anything he did. Finally he lost it, and started yelling at the tools. Later they went to the Comedy Cellar in the village, and he killed with the exact same material. Kevin Meaney and Voss up next.
But during the break they played a commercial for the Dice Beacon show ??
4:20-4:35
All through the commercials you can hear Norton chewing. When they come back they ask Jim if lunch time is over, which leads into one of his rants about how he has no self esteem, can’t handle pressure at all, and just wants to eat and wack his bag to computer porn. Doesn’t help any that he just quit smoking I guess.
Opie tells a story from the night before. Out with Norton, hanging out with comics, Op decides he’s gonna be all cool and call Buddy Hackett. He answers the phone too. Op tells him he got the number from Jay Mohr, and that he does a radio show. Buddy says who’s this? 3 times, and “ I ain’t talking right now” and hangs up. Op was totally embarrassed . Then Ant tells his embarrassing story about one time he was up in Boston with Adam F. at some function, and Adam tells him he’ll introduce Ant to Denis Leary. Ant decides to introduce himself. Hi I’m a good friend of Adam’s and do a radio show, and Leary says “yeah great” and walks away. Ant embarrassed. Leary admitted to doing that when he was in last time, and said “yeah I’m an ahole sometimes” which is cool. Opie tries to call Buddy’s number again, but gets the machine. Leaves a message that he’ll try back in 20 min.
Maryanne from Cleveland calls in to apologize. She was supposed to come in and do a Cleveland Steamer today, but can’t. Her kid is sick. Offers to come in next next Monday but that’ll be to late to qualify, so they hang up on her. Voss coming up next.
4:43-5:07
Maryanne calls back, but they’re not buying it. Tell her she ruined the show today and hang up again. A caller mentions how funny the new subliminal messages during the commercials ( “suck it” etc. esp the no o&A on the satellite radio spot) . Told to ixnay on the otspays, and don’t ruin their new bit.
They talk for awhile about the Glutton Bowl on Fox the night before. People eating big bowls of Mayo,sticks of butter,hot dogs,eggs, and twelve feet of sushi. But Fox punked out and cut away every time someone was about to puke, and ruined it. Take some callers on the show, everyone thinks Fox didn’t go quite far enough.
Their boss Ken Stevens call in, and won’t go on air, so they have to do a one sided call with Op relaying the message. He was supposed to call on break, but couldn’t wait. Uh oh. Ken wants to know if they can meet with the big boss Tues. at 11:00, and Ken won’t be at the meeting. Now they’re bummed, and their whole weekend is ruined. Ant tells a funny story about how he broke some kid’s thermos in the 3rd grade, and had to go to the principals office, and that’s how he feels now. Callers tell them they’re screwed, and want to know where their going next. Ant say’s their going to do a show with Bob Buchman at the Q. Ant suggests sending Earl and Stinky instead. They’re trying to make light of it, but they’re obviously upset. Callers say that maybe Mel wants Op to guess his age, or a ticket for Nortons Town Hall gig. Doubtful. Meaney and Voss up next. Break.
5:45-6:00
Kevin Meaney, Voss, Lady Di and Marion in the studio. Everyone is totally ragging on the twins except for Meaney, who doesn’t understand the concept and keeps trying to be nice to them. Even Frenchy calls in from Canadia to give the gals a big warm gallic welcome ( “ you whorebag”). Marions husband Joe (calls himself the “big ragu”) calls in. They’ve married for 8 years, of course the topic goes immediately to their sex life. It’s hard to follow everything going on with Lady Di running on nonstop, but Joe seem’s cool. Lady Di WOW’s everyone which must have been a real treat. Keeps rattling on and on about her sex life,her gym, and anything else that comes into her head. But then Marion tells that Joe has a “ Top secret government .” job for the county. Which turns out to mean he’s the head greenskeeper at an undisclosed golf course. LD keeps rattling that she works for the county as well, setting up tables somewhere. Ant does a long bit as Karl Spackler from Caddyshack working at a top secret golf course that was hysterical. The voice was perfect. Plug Meaney’s gig at Carolines, and Voss tries to plug his, but they shut him up. Break
http://www.kevinmeaney.com/
6:10-6:37
Still riffing on the top secret govt job, with Mission Impossible music behind Karl now. Norton has a gland problem or something with his left ear. He likes to rub his finger on it and make people smell it. Stinky says it’s pretty bad. Jokes about it smelling like fertilizer at the top secret golf course. The 2 nitwits go on about how they used to go to peep shows on 42nd st. for some reason, and everyone goes back to bashing them. Norton says LD has “1920’s football helmet hair”. LD thinks she looks like Darla on the Little Rascals. Maybe when Darla was a fetus, says Norton.
Dice calls in. “I do things the old way” . Of course LD has to chime in and try to insult Dice, which never works, but it’s Dice vs Lady Di for a while. Dice gets bleeped real bad berating her, and Meaney says “ That’s not Dice, he never curses”. The reason for Dice’s call is his new idea for an ice show. Instead of Dice on Ice, he wants Vagina on Ice. Seems to involve the skaters wearing no pants. But they’re running out of dump, and Van Halen looms in the background. Dice tries to plug his event, but Op cuts him off telling him he called too late, and the can’t play today. Dice doesn’t understand and Meaney’s giving the cut sign. So they plug Meaneys gig for a while with Dice ranting on. “ I got nothing to do here”. Ah nah nah. Then Meaney hangs up on Dice, saying that that wasn’t even him. Dice call’s back, they tell him he ruined the show, and KM hangs up again . “ He’s a good sport. Dice calls back again, and hangs up on Meaney this time. “now I hang up on you.” Dice calls a final time, and gets hung up on again. Break.
6:45-7:00
Meaney and Voss still in studio. WDIL’s Norton has bird vag lips. Fox only has one ball. Kevin learned that breasts can have hair, and you can see someone’s liver when they lift up their shirt ( Lady Di references). And Norton drinks Vodka and gravy. They’re sticking around for R&F’s bi night of fights. Joe Poo VS. Al Dukes. Op and KM pick Dukes. Out.
Friday 02/22/02
