A VERY OPIE CHRISTMAS.
well its that time of the season boys and girls and we all love christmas stories. Well have i found a gem it's called "a very opie christmas" and it goes something like this.
Once upon a time there was a man named Opie, who did a radio show in New York. Well tis' the season folks. Opie comes home for his Christmas dinner with the family. They have dinner, ofocurse they say grace before dinner it goes something like "shut up, shut your mouth already and eat." Then opie passes out the butter sandwiches that grandma made.
Then the traditional book burning occurs outside while Opie and the family stare and laugh at the homeless people outside. Opie then walks over to one of the homeless and in the holiday spirits wants to give him money but his little t-rex arms don't reach the wallet. Then Opie's brother comes over and asks the homeless man if he's hungry. The man says yes and Opie's brother pulls out a bill and asks "do you have change for a hundred?" The man says no, so Opie who is enraged because he still can't reach his wallet begins to beat the man and calls him a loser and goes back home.
Then ofocurse it's time for the tradition of opening the presents under the chirstmas "tree" (this year Opie went all out on the tree. He stole a plant from ken stevens office and put a ball on it. Opie get s ahis gift he then opens it and smiles warmly as he lifts the gift up and then throws it down and begins stomping it with his feet. Everyone is so delighted to see Opie in a good mood.
Now before the night comes to an end, and before the family goes home so Opie can go and watch his Nascar racing that he really loves, (for some reason Opie has a different understanding of Nascar racing i dunno i never get an erection when i watch car racing) The family all gathers by the "fireplace" i dunno i usually never call a candle burning a fireplace but thats just me. And the whole family sings christmas carols it goes something like this...ahem ach tung vive mensienech die mein zuchrin en lien jews y en lein ******s ...ahh i forget the rest.
Then to finish the night off Opie calls a preist and goes down to his bunker marries his girlfriend then shoots his dog and takes some cyanide and kills himself.
The End.
ahhh brings a tear to my eye.
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