Show Open
• Op says he hasn’t been replying to the emails the way that he has been before. Ant says that’s why he posts on the message board now, to avoid replying to all the emails.
• They talk about the weather in NY which is 5 degrees. Ant says he considered taking a cab even though it was only a block.
Ant says they should definitely be in a warmer state broadcasting. Ant talks about seeing a homeless guy sleeping in a doorway with a frozen stream of urine next to him. Steve C comes in, and he also says he thinks the homeless guy was probably dead.
• Op says that he has an apt update. Ant ruins the suspense by immediately asking if he has new wildlife in his apt.
Turns out even after catching the original rat in his apt, he discovered another one when he woke up this morning in his garbage, and he had to go throw it outside.
Ben comes in, and says that you need to block the bottom of the door to make sure that they can’t get in under the door.
• Caller – says that mice can get through very small spaces
• They start talking about cockroaches, which Op says is basic for any NY city apartment. Ant talks about walking down the street with his girlfriends and some other girls were walking down the street and having a cockroach run over one of the girl’s feet.
• Caller – tells a mice story about putting mice in a guy’s a car
• Caller – talks about putting traps down, and then waking up the next morning and seeing the traps gone.
• Caller talks about seeing tons of roaches on walls
• Ricky the intern comes in to show that he has shaved his mustache.
• Op brings up a story about a deer that broke into a guy’s house, which is an example of the vermin in the suburbs.
• Op says that Rich Vos will be in to stand in for Jimmy being not in studio; also Patrice O’Neal will be making his first appearance on the XM show.
• Led Zeppelin/Beastie Boys mash up into break.
Break
• Back from break, they welcome Rich Vos into the studio. They comment on how he is wearing a jacket that is better suited for the fall.
• They start talking about the unlicensed cabs at the airport. Op tells a story about being in the Bahamas, and getting in a cab and having the guy stop to chill with his buddy, and Op thought he was about to get robbed. Ant talks about the “death ride” from the airport to the resorts. Rich talks about taking his wife to Aruba. He says he will be taking his girls to the Bahamas on vacation, and Ant says he better watch out for his daughters – Rich says he has a rule “no coloreds”.
• Caller – talks about the cab rides in Kenya. Op says that in other countries, the cab drivers are also the drug suppliers
• Ant reads instant feedback that says the caller who had a story about Kenya was from “The Amazing Race”.
• Audio from Jim Norton’s “Yellow Discipline” into break.
Break
• Back from break, Rich talks about writing jokes for Chris Rock for the Oscars. Rich also talks about seeing Open Water, and he ruins the end for Ant by telling him the two divers died.
• Caller – guy who called before about the Kenya story calls in to defend his story
• They talk about the actress that was shot by a robber, and she reportedly asked the guy “What are you going to do, shoot us?” They read the story from the NY Post. Ant says he can’t understand how you can just unload on an unarmed woman. They also talk about Times Square, and how it’s dangerous now. They also talk about going in the electronics stores there, and how they jack the price up for tourists.
This segues into them talking about buying binoculars, and watching women from their hotel room – they ended up seeing an old woman. Rich says that’s why reality shows are popular, is because everyone’s a voyeur.
• They play clips from “Celebrity Fit Club”. They also talk about fat people on those daytime shows, like “Maury”.
• More audio from Jimmy’s “Yellow Discipline” into break.
Break
• They talk about the CBS news Crew coming in to film for their interview. The guy comes in studio, and they talk to him. Rich mispronounces “Gandalf” as “Gandal”.
• Reporter from Boston calls in to talk about their April Fools prank in Boston, as part of an article he is doing on pranks. They explain the prank to him and the story of their program director at the time wanting to use pies as a way of retribution.
During the story, Rich Vos mispronounces disc as “discut”. The guy also asks them if there were other things they did that they would have been fired for, and they say they thought the Voyeur Bus would have been one of the things they would have been fired for, and they tell the story about it. They also talk about a Pearl Jam prank they played.
• Green Bay Pizza shop prank into break
Break
• Ant says some of the “tools from Wackbag, like Mikey Biggs” are complaining that they retold the story about the April Fools.
• Old Audio – “Montana Crotchrat” from their banned CD “Cringe”.
• Tyson Walters, center for the Dallas Cowboys comes in studio to say hello to the boys. He talks about the Superbowl, and says he has to pick the Pats. He also tells them stories of playing in the NFL.
They said they need to get Patrice in next, because he looks angry, and they think it’s because Master Po searched him.
• John Madden/Pat Summerall Gay-per-view into break
Break
• Patrice comes in studio, and they talk to him about his Master Po Search. Rich Vos asks him “Should we do the news so you feel more comfortable?” - (referring to his appearance on Stern). He says should he have waited two years to tell a story that happened yesterday. He also says he was loyal to the show, they just weren’t on. Then he switches to talking about Master Po, who comes in studio. Patrice says the second he looked at Po, he realized Po was dangerous. Ant talks about how Po taught Marines how to kill.
• Patrice starts talking about Rich and Bonnie, and that they should all pray for when she dumps him. Then they start talking about Patrice’s sex swing, and his various sex stuff. He tells them about his Brazil trips, and how it’s dangerous down there, but the experience is so good. He also explains his "camo, camo" thing.
• They point out an article on the Hot 97 Tsunami song, that points out that Rick was once their producer. Patrice talks about being on the Hot 97 show, and having to raise your hand when you want to talk. They talk about the sponsors that have pulled their ads from Hot 97.
• Patrice brings in his suitcases of sex toys, and shows them, his entire selection. Op says that Patrice is really in deep, and asks him if he has had a nervous breakdown since they were off the air. They all can't believe the kinds of stuff that he has.
They also try out the whip on the “sort of hot” girls that came down.
• The music kicks in, and they thank Patrice for coming in.
Program Complete
Photoshops by CAGE and TBrokenJaw
January 28th 2005 – “When I lay my glass dildo on you, you will know i'm the Lord"
