Live From D.C. Day #1
Show Open
• They are talking, and while the Rage music is playing, Eric cues them that they are on. Ant says that Jaime threw his headphones in the air with disgust, and walked out the control room because the start of the show was a fuck-up. He also says that Opie has been neutered because he has no board to control things today. Op says he usually has a lot to during the show using the board, such as adjusting mic volumes, caller volumes etc. but he can’t do it today because he doesn’t have a board, and has to depend on Steve to play things.
• Op says that he was the cheerleader about them coming to DC, but after the turn of events so far he is not coming back. They talk about being delayed getting into the XM compound because they didn’t have their ID tags, and the security guard made them fill out forms and wait.
• They try to take a call, but there is an echo and the phones are really messed up. Ant and Jimmy say that Steve has better watch out because Op is going to go crazy with all these problems. Op says he doesn’t blame Steve, because it’s incompetence on the part of XM. Ant says even with that the pressure is still on cozy Steve. Op says he really needs to just take over the channel.
• They take some more callers, and Ant says it sounds like there is a delay in the callers hearing them. Dugout Doug calls in and explains what the listeners are hearing.
• Ant’s “Martini Steve” song/Sands through the hourglass – “Bernie goes the nuts” into break
Break
• Back from break, they say that everyone was panicking. Op said that Elo came in, and that Ben said that Eric sounded like he was about to cry in NY. Ben comes in to say that Mars back in NY sounded like he broke the phone. Ant notices the Opie and Anthony sign they have hung in the studio that looks like it’s about to fall off.
• Op talks about his train ride to DC, and that he was in the “silent car” because he wanted to sleep. Ant calls that car the snobby section, but Op points out that Ant was actually in first class. Keith gets on mic, to say that he was in first class with Ant until he got kicked out. Op says that it looks like Keith is panicking in the middle of his story. Keith continues his story, and talks about how the conductor threw him out of first class. Op says he loved being in the silent car, because it’s filled with uptight asses like himself. He says they are wimps though, because a big black guy got on in Philly and talked loudly on his phone and no one said anything.
• Op switches to talking about their dinner, and how crowded their table was. Afterwards, they took a station wagon taxi with a crazy taxi driver.
They talk about Ben f’ing with the cab driver, and how crazy the cab driver was driving. Op says it brought him back to growing up and driving with crazy friends. Jimmy says he ended up giving him a good tip because he was just annoying.
• They try more callers, but the delay messes up the conversation.
• Ant remembers crazy drives he would take when he was in California with his father when his dad was drunk.
• More caller related issues with the delay. Ant says they should try to work with the delay, and they try a caller, using the “walkie-talkie” method, over. Ant and Jimmy start doing show quotes with “over”. Op makes an observation, that XM was able to launch satellites, but they can’t fix the phones
• Ben pipes in to talk about the cab driver. Jimmy points out that he looks like Chucky. Ben also talks about telling the NY cab driver that they worked for the government.
• Sands though the hourglass – “Rich Vos Motel stories”
Break
• They talk about the drive to the XM compound, and that they were picked up in a nice town car. Jimmy says he was listening to NPR (National Public Radio) and that it is the worst radio he has ever heard. Op says the driver had a GPS system, and Op says that it needs to have a “schwoogie” system because the GPS took them right through the ghetto. Jimmy says his driver took him trough an area with 40 “black youths”, and he kept hoping his driver wouldn’t stop
• Switch to talking about the Ozzy Ozbourne interview from yesterday. Ant says he couldn’t believe how happy Jimmy was, and Op says he really enjoyed the interview. Jimmy says he was wondering if Op would throw him under the bus, but Op says he wouldn’t do that with Ozzy. Op tells some of the observations that Jimmy just stared at Ozzy for the first few minutes of the interview. Jimmy says that he had questions written out and that once Ozzy got there he realized how stupid they were. Jimmy says it was really surreal talking to his idol, and having Ozzy goof on him. Bruce Kelly comes in the middle of the story (this will come up later kids). Back to Jimmy and his Ozzy experience – Jimmy says he wants to thank everybody that pulled the strings to get Ozzy on the show, especially the booker who apparently had a major part to play in it. Op says they should just do a “Make-A-Wish” for everybody on the show. Op says he just wants anything signed from Kurt Cobain, which segues into a short discussion about memorabilia.
• Back to Jimmy, Op says that this whole story is leading to a point. After all the euphoria with Ozzy, Jimmy decided to go on craigslist to get a “lady of the evening” to finish the night off. However the lady that he got was “awful”. He said that the chick was cheap, and she told him that she wanted him to go down on her before giving him head. He also says that she was shy about undressing, and that he ended up just taking back $50 from her and telling her to leave. Keith tells a story about talking to a girl online, and having her pull up to his house and that she was just huge. He says that he decided to just have her blow him, and then he ended up just tapping her on her shoulder and telling her she has to go. Jimmy explains that he may have indicated over the phone/email that he would have gone down on her.
• The “Mad Mexican” comes in studio. They tell him that Jimmy has AIDS. He says he will give them a plug on his show, and they ask him about his obsession with his dog, “Chicago”. Jimmy gets him as he leaves.
Break
• Op says that the phones are working now.
• Dee Dee (Cricket) comes in studio. Op and Ant say that Bruce Kelly is the valium of the program.
• They switch to the live intro of the Mad Mexican’s show with him giving them a shout out. Ant says he loves how the Mad Mexican switches between English and Spanish
• They go back to Dee Dee, who does her trademark snort. Op says that the reason for her to be in studio is to try out for the news. Ant says that Dee Dee is no longer on the Kids Channel because of her appearance on their show the last time. She is shocked by Jimmy going to hookers, and Jimmy says that he should just use his hand. Jimmy explains his yellow discipline and log fetish, and Dee Dee is completely grossed out.
They switch to asking her if she has any kinks, and she says that everyone has a dark side. They ask her what is her dark side, and she tells them – she is into spanking and role play, a fact that it seems all the staff at XM know.
• Some of the other staff comes in to talk about Dee Dee telling them all about her spanking fetish, and also about wearing leather. Ant asks her is she will bend over and let Jimmy spank her but she doesn’t want Jimmy to spank her. She agrees to let Keith the Cop spank her with his belt, over her clothes. They set the scene, as if Keith has just pulled her over for a traffic violation. Keith starts off light and then works up to a hard spank.
• Ant says he is stunned that she is into spanking, and then Cricket admits that her safe word is green *snort*. She also says that she had to use the safe word once when she had nipple clips on that were too tight. Jimmy tells her about his suppository story, and they keep questioning her about spanking and domination. She says that she got into it because of her friend who is a dominatrix. Op then has an idea – let Keith hit her slightly while she reads the news. She warns Keith not to hit her hard because the last one really hurt.
• She starts doing the news, while Keith periodically spanks her. She keeps laughing throughout while trying to anticipate Keith’s next spanking, and she yelps a few times because some of them are harder. Ant says that she is a hero now, after that segment. She also tells them that they should call her mom after break, and they say that they will be doing that next.
• Sands through the Hourglass – “Jimmy hates Gene Simmons”.
Break
• Back from break, they are being photographed by a Washington Times reporter.
• They talk about Bruce Kelly. Ant says Op gave Bruce a “Kill You” look when he came in studio before. Jimmy tries to throw them under the bus by saying they want to take a wacky picture. They start making Terry Schiavo jokes, and Dee Dee says that’s horrible.
• Dee Dee talks about her family, which had 9 kids, five of which were adopted.
• Finally they get Dee Dee’s Mom on the phone. They ask her about Dee Dee growing up, and she says that Dee Dee was stubborn. Her mom also talks about disciplining her, and if she spanked her. Op then says that the spanking may have sent Dee Dee down the path of liking the spanking now. Then they tell her mom about Dee Dee’s spanking preference, and about her fetishes. Op tries to sell Jimmy under the bus by asking her mom if she wants to know what Jimmy’s fetishes are. Keith spanks Dee Dee as they all say goodbye to her mom.
• Coffee Diva into break
Break
• Back from break, Op says because it’s the week before vacation they are a little edgy. They also talk about what they will be doing after the show, like recording intros for the 2 week vacation best ofs. They also talk about their show in Boston the day after vacation. Ant says he is just tired of all the Red Sox related stuff, like the new Jimmy Fallon movie.
• They switch to talking about the Pat O’Brien story – and Ant does his entertainment reporter voice. Apparently Pat O’Brien was getting drunk and calling a lady to hook up a threesome - Op asks if it is 1998 – referring to Ant’s lil’ ménage. Ant says he remembers being in court when that was brought up, and that he instantly settled. Back to the O’Brien story, he was recorded by the lady he was calling, and they play tape of the recordings.
Keith comes in (Op calls him the showstopper), and he says that he heard the recordings while Steve had it on his laptop. Steve starts playing the audio and they mess with him by giving him a fake stop signal.
• Caller – asks if Jimmy is going to eat the whole fucking show today, because every time he talks he sounds like his mouth is full. Op says he was going to let it go, but he saw Jimmy with a Danish in his mouth
• They play the audio of Pat O’Brien.
Jimmy says he sucks at talking phone sex, and Ant starts doing the entertainment reporter voice again. Ant says he wants to know how they can be 100% sure that this is Pat O’Brien, and if they are the only ones playing this audio. Steve says that Imus is playing it too, and Ant starts doing Imus. Op makes a Terry Schiavo joke and mistakenly calls her “Mary”, which Jimmy points out. Ant reads a story from the Daily News about the audio. They continue listening to the audio, and Jimmy points out that the messages are one after each other, so O’Brien may be on the horniest coke-filled binge ever. Ant and Jimmy start imitating him.
Break
• Back from break, Ant Jimmy and Ben are talking because Op was taking a call.
• Op comes back, and Dee Dee is back in studio to do news. Op asks her to say “O&A Party Rock”, which she does.
• They replay the O’Brien audio and asks Dee Dee to give her opinion. Then they start imitating him with stuff about Dee Dee as part of it. Op says they will just play the audio until…
Program Complete
Photoshops – truckdriver4iwx and cigarsandscotch
Random Wackbag comments from the listening thread:
“Holy shit what a cluster fuck this morning... I love it” - Boston Strangler
“Jesus Christ do they sound awful today.” - APortablePhone
“This show turned out to be absolute radio gold” – demonseed
“The best thing to hear from chicks while on o&a: ‘Oh, fuck it!’ ” - itr
“Who doesn't enjoy a little spank now and then?” – Seth
“Excellent show today... They really pulled it out of the toilet....” – Mikey Biggs
March 22nd 2005 – “My ass stings!” *snort*
