Welcome to Opies Breafast Bar
Breakfast Fare
Opie Omletes .... made from egg whites, lightly beaten just like Little Jimmy on a bad day, stuffed with specially prepared dog liver and topped with yogurt and crunchie topping
Cup of Yogurt .... A delicious plastic cup of yogurt of your choice of flavor and topping specially designed to stick to the bottom of the cup. You spend hours and hours scraping the bottom to get all that goodness
Bowl of Grapes ... that's right a whole bowl of grapes hand selected by Opie to ensure that you fart like a Marine with a case of bad gas! You eat this grapes knowing that in 1 hour you can out fart anyone in the room! Yummie!
LUNCH
Cup O Noodles .... taken directly from the show you can have your choice of Cup O Noodles or giving a blow job! You have the option of sucking beef or eating it with noodles, choking a chicken or slurping it down with noodles and broth or the every favorite getting porked or using a fork to swirl up some with noodles. This bound to be one of our most popular dishes!
Stool Chest drop soup ... an aged stool will be placed on your chest by one of our friendly waitresses and topped off with a warm coating of pee! All those around you will amazed at treat you are receiving and may even take your picture! Image the fame you will aquire with customers and the police alike.
DINNER
Super fast Burgers ... a specially formualted selection of ground "beef". Seasoned with herbs and spices what will drive you to the bathroom in seconds of consuming. We stole this idea from Jackson Hole or Hoo Hoo (we forget, after all he invented everything) and improved upon the time it takes for you to run to the bathroom! Reservations required! (Not for the table, but for the bathroom so we can clear the aisle)
Stalker Patty Patty ... this is a special treat! One hand ground ½ lbs of beef is fried in a pan until it tastes like cardboard. It's served on a stale bun with no spices, no flavor and completely virgin. The dish is destined to be the worst item on the menu, fans still order it with glee.
Dee Dee's Side of beef .... hand selected and hand spanked! Each serving has been slapped by Jimmy Norton while being called a "Dirty Girl" by Anthony. This is served with mash batataes and our delicacy Butter and sugar sandwiches. You can upgrade the experience by lying on canvas cots sprinkled with sand.
Ben's Hog Roast ... It's the biggest Hog you've ever seen! It's so big that no one has ever finished it! * please note that 3 people had be to rescued from Ben's Hog, we've lost 2 tables holding it, and single woman do 1 of 2 things ... scream and leave or ask to take it home.
DRINK MENU
Martini Steve .... yes, the famous drink made popular on the show. You can order a bowling ball with the drink, but you can't throw it.
No drink Jimmy ... you will be placed on the bar backside down as our waitresses walk up and deposit yummy goodness directly into your mouth until you can't drink anymore. There is a $250 set up charge. (To buy off the police and the plastic tarp
)
All items subject to change or arrest. No credit cards accepted. Anyone wearing a Pest Tee Shirt will be thrown out immediately. We don't want anyone to know Opie is that guy who had people screw in a church!
Opie's Restaraunt
