08-14-98 SHOW OPENING Anthony wants back-up singers for the show. Opie compliments the listeners for figuring it out and having all twelve phone lines lit up before giving out the phone number. Opie remembers when they first started at WNEW how they would get one caller in the four hour show. Anthony comments about the auditions in Times Square for the Sonny and Cher movie, and the sad people showing up for it, especially the old ladies, (that could have been the Wicked Witch), and one guy who looked like Sonny after he hit the tree. Anthony goes on to suggest how you shouldn’t show up if you look like the old Sonny and Cher, leave that for the make-up people. Eleanor Roosevelt was a lesbian. The letters she wrote. FIRST BREAK A fax to Anus and Mandy, “You guys rule, but who will take over the show when you go back to the sixth grade?” SECOND BREAK Another negative fax. ”Get those two idiots off the air. Opie and Anthony, they suck.” Opie addressing the e-mail requests for them to play the tape of the drive in to the studio. Opie ran a tape recorder while Anthony was driving in to the city. The bit fades out after the first line... THIRD BREAK As the music fades you hear Opie saying, “Can you just imagine that old broad mounting that old broad?... Hey! Who turned the Mics on?” About the story in the New York Post about Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickcock. Opie points out that Eleanor's lover looks like George Washington and Anthony says that Eleanor looks like Jimmy Carter in a wig. Anthony says, “just think, during the height of World War Two, FDR is carpet bombing Berlin and she’s carpet munching in Washington”. Some of her love letters read on the air... FOURTH BREAK Complaint call taken by Anthony, as an upper management person... With Opie doing the snoring in the background. The listener realizes he’s being tooled on when he hears Opie snoring on mike and says this “station has gone downhill”. FIFTH BREAK Opie coming out of a musical break makes an announcement for WNEW Night at Rye Playland and wonders, “will we be on hand?”Anthony replies, “Hell no!” Opie hopes eventually it will be safe for them to make public appearances. Another complaint call from a smarter woman. Anthony has some fun with her and she fights back. Opie says he needs some Smack! SIXTH BREAK A discussion of who is doing the Celebrity Traffic Report today, it will probably be Reverend Al because Charlton Heston has a sore throat from saying Damn, damn damn all the time. Opie acknowledges the three groups of people that listen to the O & A Show... The bit of the week, a woman calling in looking for Donna Summer tickets, (fades out on call). SEVENTH BREAK Patricia came into the studio to pick up her Van Halen tickets. Anthony describing the camera with the infra red night spot filter to see under Patricia’s clothes. Opie was horrified by her flashing them, and asks if she was in a boating accident. Celebrity Traffic Report withAl Sharpton. ”Traffic ia a product of the White man. Why should I care if there is traffic on the Whitestone Bridge? My brothers and sisters, we must boycott the GWB until they rename it the George Washington Carver Memorial Peanut Bridge! Why do you think the roads are made of blacktop? That’s so the white man can symbolically drive over us. White folks right now are clogging up the L.I.E. like my colon after a Government Cheese sandwich. They all late for their KKK meeting. All the EZ-Pass lanes are moving today, why? ‘Cos the powers that be want to to buy their EZ-Pass to tag us and track us. I am pleased to announce that the traffic is heavy at the Reverend Al Toll Booth in front of the Apollo Theater, give your change to your pal, Reverend Al. When you drive on through, slip me a buck or two. Give your buddy Al a hand, I owe Steve Pagonas sixty-five grand.” EIGHTH BREAK Opie still complaining about Patricia and how he is going to have nightmares, I haven’t seen a chick naked in weeks and I have to see that! ...Howard gets Playboy models and we get skank-ho’s. NINTH BREAK Some station concert information and station appearances. Opie would love to go out and meet some of the listeners, but they don’t feel that it’s just quite safe yet. To the telephones... A long time WNEW listener who was won over by the “hi Mom, I’m Gay” bit. TENTH BREAK The Yonkers policeman who gave a truck driver a ticket for not speaking English. The problem with English not being spoken here. If you are coming to America, learn the language. Some negative Instant Feedback, and a few positive callers. ELEVENTH BREAK O & A start practicing their Spanish so maybe they will get more listeners. Anthony alerting the listeners to tune in on Monday, because they are on after Bill Clinton testifies. More Bill Clinton comments on his definition of sex and him splooging on his intern’s dress. What it would be like if this happened with a regular guy, and how Bill is going to get away with it. TWELFTH BREAK. Show wrap up, more listeners coming over to their side. Talking about the bit where the woman called in to complain about the use of the word “pussy” on the air, (fades out before bit starts).