Ron Bennington's Line Of The Day

Discussing Movies, Romantic Comedies, Gay:
Ron: Tootsie, when I first watched Tootsie I jerked off to it before I knew she was a guy. The thing is I still jerk off to it.

Ron: Hey Fez, you send any of the stuff to Patty? Teddy Bear? Steven Singer Jewelry? Hoodie Footie?
Fez: No, nothing...but I am still marrying her...
Ron: You know, these live reads, you need to be more then the 60 seconds you give them. You know, buy what you are selling. You need to become them. People hear you and they can tell you are just reading from a piece of paper. When I did live reads, they sometimes went 18 minutes.

Ron: I always thought Thriller should have been a bigger record. People should have bought two of them. One for home and one for sleep away camp.

x

Discussing Soccer announcer's ranting:

Ron with foriegn accent, screaming: I'd rather have my Mother covered in glue and pine cones dragged through the street then see Messi get a paper cut!!!!!

HTG on Phone discussing Freedom of Speech:
HTG: I even support people marching against Judaism.
Ron: (real low, half voice) That's everyone....that's half the people....

Ron, after discussion wit h BL, former intern from Florida:

Paul O...you're not the craziest person in Florida.

Ron: We have to break..
Pepper: Yes, we need to break.
Ron: We'll be right back. Fe is gonna show us a bag of toe nails.

Plays Cat in the Cradle:
Ron: Fez walked at age 14.....
Ron: Fez Blew boys...
Ron: Are you really GAY???
Ron: Does this song make you feel better Fez?
All right, turn this off. It actually make me depressed. It makes me think I should call my dad. Say, Hey....thanks for out living the other guys Dads.

Caller: Hey Ron, thanks for taking my call.
Ron: That's my job.

Pepper: You know, I drank something the day after I took LSD and I was tripping all over again.
Ron: What did ya drink? Orange Juice?
Pepper: yeah
Ron: Yeah, It has something to do with vitamin C after you trip on LSD, it makes you do it all over again...look it up
Pepper: Wow, yeah, it says it is true
Ron: Why don't you call me when you do these things, I can mentor you.

Discussion on Rock the boat, Morrison, Hendrix, Joplin and Cobain:
Caller: I say Morrison is off. I can't stand the Doors. You ever have a band that made your skin crawl?
Ron: I was at a party once when a guy got punched in the face for saying something bad about The Doors.

Big Jay: I feel I have a strong kinship with Fez.
Ron: In what way? You like Cock? Underage boys?

Discussing Down Syndrom Restaurant owner:
Caller: I think this is the first time Pepper and Fez agree on anything.
Ron: Well, there was that time an old woman fell down and pissed herself. Pepper and Fez high fived each other over that for three days.

Ron, going to callers giving information:
Ron: All day long, my staff continually gives me complete bullshit information.

Listening to sad Irish performer:
This would make everybody go limp. You could use this to prevent r@pe. R@pist would be like, turn it off, I can not get hard!

Singing along with sad Irish song:
Ah, my sheep, my dog, my dah and my mah are dying. Everyone in Ireland is dying.

Ron: Ok, here's a guy that says he is Mooch. Let's see if it is the real Mooch.
Mooch: Hey, how ya doin my buddays...
Ron and all in studio: YAY, Mooch, all right!!!

Ron: First time I ever got arrested was St Patricks Day. I was 14.

Ron: Well, the media is blowing up about this new Pope. I'm coming out against him.
Pepper: Why? He hasn't done anything yet.
Ron: Exactly, nothing yet. I am old school when it comes to the Pope. I like my Pope to have two lungs. A right and a left. How can he deep sea dive? He can't.
Pepper: When does a Pope deep sea dive?
Ron: You need to be ready to do anything at anytime.