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10 Chinese Dishes That Real Chinese People Don't Eat

Discussion in 'Wackbag's Mean Cusine' started by Evilton, Sep 26, 2013.

  1. Evilton

    Evilton Why do black people call each other "Monica"?

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    Came across article this and thought it was interesting. Number 8 is the only one that really surprised me.




    1) Crab Wontons: These deep-fried dumplings filled with crabmeat and cream cheese are popular...but nobody eats cheese in China. We're all lactose intolerant. But we do like to curdle other things, like fermented bean paste and duck blood.

    [​IMG]

    2) General Tso's Chicken: Come on, this guy was too busy warding off rebellions to be cooking. This recipe is strictly American—chunks of chicken battered, fried and sweetened for Western tastes. No one in Hunan had even heard of this before 1970.

    [​IMG]

    3) Chop Suey: Ah yes, the garbage disposal of the omelet world. Refrigerator scraps stir-fried and topped with an egg. It is said that some Chinese cook working during the Gold Rush served it as a personal "fuck you" to some drunk American miners.

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    4) Pu Pu Platter: Everything about this appetizer is an affront to poor people. It's nothing but fried, greasy egg rolls, spare ribs, chicken wings and beef teriyaki—which isn't even Chinese!

    [​IMG]

    5) Sweet 'n' Sour Pork: Chunks of pork, battered, deep-fried and slimed in a thick orange sauce. There are obvious Southern barbecue influences here.

    [​IMG]

    6) Sweet 'n' Sour Chicken: Chicken gets the same treatment, but it's all white meat because somehow that makes it better. With pieces of pineapple to assuage your guilt.

    [​IMG]

    7) Salad: We cook our food. When dysentery is a concern, you would too

    [​IMG]

    8) Egg Rolls: Does anyone eat these? These thick-skinned, blistered rolls that look like Linda Blair's face in The Exorcist are nothing like the real Chinese spring rolls, which are smaller, thin and crispy—and edible.

    [​IMG]

    9) Beef and broccoli: There's really nothing wrong with this dish, except that we don't have Western broccoli in the East.

    [​IMG]

    10) Fortune cookies: Another ploy to amuse Westerners, these flag-bearers of fortune don't even tell you good news anymore, only your closely guarded shortcomings. Chinese people eat something more fortuitous for dessert: oranges. They're good luck.

    [​IMG]


    http://dc.eater.com/archives/2011/10...e-dont-eat.php
     
  2. gleet

    gleet What's black and white and red all over?

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  3. THE FEZ MAN

    THE FEZ MAN as a matter of fact i dont have 5$

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    Most "chinese" food is american
     
  4. DR. Jimcy M.E.

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    My favorite asian dishes are usually the noodle dishes.

    A greasy ginnie likes pasta? Shocker.
     
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  5. TreeFortRichard

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    I love Drunken Noodles with chicken and/or shrimp...that's real hardcore Thai...very spicy!
     
  6. Konstantin K

    Konstantin K Big League Poster

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    America really is the best at everything, even making Chinese food.
     
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  7. steve500

    steve500 Registered User

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    Anyone else think the writer is trying too hard?
     
  8. Guilty Spark

    Guilty Spark It's freeing and refreshing

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    How dare that faggot speak ill of egg rolls
     
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  9. Sinn Fein

    Sinn Fein Infidel and White Interloper
    Wackbag Staff

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    Who cares? General Tso's is my favorite.
     
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  10. SatansCheerledr

    SatansCheerledr Ideologically Unsound

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    A lot of chinese food in china is disgusting, swimming in oil/grease with chunks of pure pig fat in it. For most chinese getting calories to survive is secondary to taste. At least never having to worry about starving American tastes.
     
  11. LiddyRules

    LiddyRules I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy

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    Sweet and Sour Pork and Sweet and Sour Chicken are the same damn thing.

    Also, I like Egg Rolls. It's one of my top comfort food.

    And how about this writer, you tell us what we can get at our corner Chinese place that fits Chinese food qualifications. I'd be genuinely interested to know what counts.
     
  12. stevethrower

    stevethrower Got Sig?

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    Well that and it seems to be go pick whatever was breathing/swimming/hopping/crawling so we can cook it (in China anyway)... like if I go to the local Chinese place at a certain time after lunch they are eating who knows what... typically some noodle dish in a broth. Thinking that is actual Chinese food but due to the whole North American protein/fat intake thing we need a lot more... and yes I know it varies by local etc...

    But ummm I could really go for some crab rangoon presently with some duck sauce...
     
  13. SatansCheerledr

    SatansCheerledr Ideologically Unsound

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    The only thing with legs a chinaman wont eat is a chair.
     
  14. gleet

    gleet What's black and white and red all over?

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  15. SatansCheerledr

    SatansCheerledr Ideologically Unsound

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    Well there goes that.
     
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  16. gleet

    gleet What's black and white and red all over?

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    Sorry. It's a tough world.
     
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  17. stevethrower

    stevethrower Got Sig?

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    Ya my buddy was in mainland... and he saw the locals going out at night basically capturing anything that walked/crawled or flew... which is prob not a good thing due to the ummm sheer amount there are of them.


    Hmmmm Soyrent green perhaps in the future?


    I could only imagine what the wild life situation is like in say North Korea...

    Note had a Five Guys bacon cheese burger and fries in my 8 cylinder truck today... and yes I filled up a bit.

    Oh sidenote... Massholes tend not to cut off full sized pickups as they do small cars...
     
    #17 stevethrower, Sep 27, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2013
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  18. SatansCheerledr

    SatansCheerledr Ideologically Unsound

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    People get executed all the time for using human meat as a filler in ground meat dumplings and buns and lions heads. I don't know why. It's so corrupt there it's beyond a foreigners understanding.
     
  19. HandPanzer

    HandPanzer in situ

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    This probably makes me anti-American, but I hate Chinese food. I think it may be due to my limited Cuban (South Florida) taste palate.
     
  20. SatansCheerledr

    SatansCheerledr Ideologically Unsound

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    White rice and black bean eatin' mother fucker.
     
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  21. Mags

    Mags Edgelord
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    Communist.
     
  22. Jacuzzi Billy

    Jacuzzi Billy Watching PTI
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    Is there a difference between crab rangoon and crab wontons besides the shape? I eat crab rangoon all the time but have never had a crab wonton.
     
  23. gleet

    gleet What's black and white and red all over?

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    Rangoon is made from raccoon, wonton is woodchuck.
     
  24. Jacuzzi Billy

    Jacuzzi Billy Watching PTI
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    Got ya. I like raccoon then but never had woodchuck.
     
  25. SatansCheerledr

    SatansCheerledr Ideologically Unsound

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    one has cream cheese in it and is deep fried the other doesn't and is boiled.
     

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