10 Chinese Dishes That Real Chinese People Don't Eat

Evilton

Why do black people call each other "Monica"?
Oct 1, 2006
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#1
Came across article this and thought it was interesting. Number 8 is the only one that really surprised me.




1) Crab Wontons: These deep-fried dumplings filled with crabmeat and cream cheese are popular...but nobody eats cheese in China. We're all lactose intolerant. But we do like to curdle other things, like fermented bean paste and duck blood.



2) General Tso's Chicken: Come on, this guy was too busy warding off rebellions to be cooking. This recipe is strictly American—chunks of chicken battered, fried and sweetened for Western tastes. No one in Hunan had even heard of this before 1970.



3) Chop Suey: Ah yes, the garbage disposal of the omelet world. Refrigerator scraps stir-fried and topped with an egg. It is said that some Chinese cook working during the Gold Rush served it as a personal "fuck you" to some drunk American miners.



4) Pu Pu Platter: Everything about this appetizer is an affront to poor people. It's nothing but fried, greasy egg rolls, spare ribs, chicken wings and beef teriyaki—which isn't even Chinese!



5) Sweet 'n' Sour Pork: Chunks of pork, battered, deep-fried and slimed in a thick orange sauce. There are obvious Southern barbecue influences here.



6) Sweet 'n' Sour Chicken: Chicken gets the same treatment, but it's all white meat because somehow that makes it better. With pieces of pineapple to assuage your guilt.



7) Salad: We cook our food. When dysentery is a concern, you would too



8) Egg Rolls: Does anyone eat these? These thick-skinned, blistered rolls that look like Linda Blair's face in The Exorcist are nothing like the real Chinese spring rolls, which are smaller, thin and crispy—and edible.



9) Beef and broccoli: There's really nothing wrong with this dish, except that we don't have Western broccoli in the East.



10) Fortune cookies: Another ploy to amuse Westerners, these flag-bearers of fortune don't even tell you good news anymore, only your closely guarded shortcomings. Chinese people eat something more fortuitous for dessert: oranges. They're good luck.




http://dc.eater.com/archives/2011/10...e-dont-eat.php
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
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#2
Cartright?
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
41,714
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#3
Most "chinese" food is american
 
Dec 12, 2007
25,476
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#4
My favorite asian dishes are usually the noodle dishes.

A greasy ginnie likes pasta? Shocker.
 

Konstantin K

Big League Poster
Aug 25, 2010
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#6
America really is the best at everything, even making Chinese food.
 

steve500

Registered User
Oct 20, 2008
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#7
Anyone else think the writer is trying too hard?
 

SatansCheerledr

Ideologically Unsound
Apr 6, 2005
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#10
A lot of chinese food in china is disgusting, swimming in oil/grease with chunks of pure pig fat in it. For most chinese getting calories to survive is secondary to taste. At least never having to worry about starving American tastes.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
141,468
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#11
Sweet and Sour Pork and Sweet and Sour Chicken are the same damn thing.

Also, I like Egg Rolls. It's one of my top comfort food.

And how about this writer, you tell us what we can get at our corner Chinese place that fits Chinese food qualifications. I'd be genuinely interested to know what counts.
 
Dec 8, 2004
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#12
A lot of chinese food in china is disgusting, swimming in oil/grease with chunks of pure pig fat in it. For most chinese getting calories to survive is secondary to taste. At least never having to worry about starving American tastes.
Well that and it seems to be go pick whatever was breathing/swimming/hopping/crawling so we can cook it (in China anyway)... like if I go to the local Chinese place at a certain time after lunch they are eating who knows what... typically some noodle dish in a broth. Thinking that is actual Chinese food but due to the whole North American protein/fat intake thing we need a lot more... and yes I know it varies by local etc...

But ummm I could really go for some crab rangoon presently with some duck sauce...
 

SatansCheerledr

Ideologically Unsound
Apr 6, 2005
15,097
7,558
716
I Will Pay Snakes To Bite You
#13
Well that and it seems to be go pick whatever was breathing/swimming/hopping/crawling so we can cook it (in China anyway)... like if I go to the local Chinese place at a certain time after lunch they are eating who knows what... typically some noodle dish in a broth. Thinking that is actual Chinese food but due to the whole North American protein/fat intake thing we need a lot more... and yes I know it varies by local etc...

But ummm I could really go for some crab rangoon presently with some duck sauce...
The only thing with legs a chinaman wont eat is a chair.
 
Dec 8, 2004
48,613
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#17
The only thing with legs a chinaman wont eat is a chair.
Ya my buddy was in mainland... and he saw the locals going out at night basically capturing anything that walked/crawled or flew... which is prob not a good thing due to the ummm sheer amount there are of them.


Hmmmm Soyrent green perhaps in the future?


I could only imagine what the wild life situation is like in say North Korea...

Note had a Five Guys bacon cheese burger and fries in my 8 cylinder truck today... and yes I filled up a bit.

Oh sidenote... Massholes tend not to cut off full sized pickups as they do small cars...
 
Last edited:
May 30, 2013
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#19
This probably makes me anti-American, but I hate Chinese food. I think it may be due to my limited Cuban (South Florida) taste palate.
 

Jacuzzi Billy

Watching PTI
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Mar 22, 2006
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#22
Is there a difference between crab rangoon and crab wontons besides the shape? I eat crab rangoon all the time but have never had a crab wonton.
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
22,543
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#23
Is there a difference between crab rangoon and crab wontons besides the shape? I eat crab rangoon all the time but have never had a crab wonton.
Rangoon is made from raccoon, wonton is woodchuck.