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A Country Founded by Geniuses and Run by Idiots

Discussion in 'Off Topic Discussion' started by d0uche_n0zzle, Aug 1, 2013.

  1. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book, but not to vote for who runs your government … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If your government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If, in the largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If an 80-year-old woman can be strip-searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher “is cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested “homes”… you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing, and free cell phones … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If your government’s plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of Unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied but can’t find work … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your neighbor buys iPhones, TVs and new cars, and your government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
    ©Copyright 2012 Fritz Edmunds, all rights reserved.
     
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  2. LiddyRules

    LiddyRules I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy

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    So e-mail forwards still exist. You want to know how to tell that you're getting old...?
     
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  3. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    E-mailing is so 2002.
     
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  4. Rash Rendering

    Rash Rendering Registered User

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  5. lajikal

    lajikal Registered User

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    Preach!
     
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  6. Hudson

    Hudson Supreme Champion!!!!!
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    I don't agree with the second one.
     
  7. LiddyRules

    LiddyRules I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy

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    I can get why this might be considered "run by idiots," but I don't get where the "founded by geniuses" comes in.

    Oh wait! They're talking about America! This is the greatest thing I ever read! So apt!
     
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  8. Party Rooster

    Party Rooster Unleash The Beast

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    Story's a bit dated...

    U.S. halts delivery of F-16s to Egypt
     
  9. gleet

    gleet What's black and white and red all over?

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    Geniuses? Here is a guy who ran around with those geniuses.

    http://www.mentalfloss.com/article/51899/7-john-adams-greatest-insults
     
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  10. Mags

    Mags Edgelord
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    Exactly what I was thinking. This is something my 70 year old mom and her siblings would be CCing repeatedly to the whole family.
     
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  11. Lord Zero

    Lord Zero Viciously Silly

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    That's only my second biggest complaint. My biggest complaint is that the "founded by geniuses" part (which is, as you pointed out, completely unnecessary) makes the line too wordy to be even halfway amusing.
     
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  12. Lord Zero

    Lord Zero Viciously Silly

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    John Adams: America's first player hater.
    Even back then...
     
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  13. LiddyRules

    LiddyRules I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy

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    Still, you have to give credit to any man who uses "Our bitches are hotter than your bitches" in his argument.
     
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  14. Voodoo Ben

    Voodoo Ben You gotta wash your ass

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    We're two guys who think..........
     
  15. VicVinegar

    VicVinegar Registered User

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    Would there be a gif of an American flag somewhere in that email? Maybe a bald eagle?
     
  16. Mags

    Mags Edgelord
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    You fucking hacked my Mom's email?

    Mother hacker.
     
  17. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    FIFY
     
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  18. BIV

    BIV I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.

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    Nice to see Bostonians haven't changed a bit.
     
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  19. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    Was Philly always known as a queer hot spot?
     
  20. Mags

    Mags Edgelord
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    You sonofabitch.
     
  21. Norm Stansfield

    Norm Stansfield 私は亀が好きだ。

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    OP is way too long. Should've just said "I'm a dogmatic religious conservative, and if you disagree with me on anything, my only argument is that you're stupid. And I think Jeff Foxworthy is someone worth ripping off.".
     
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  22. Lord Zero

    Lord Zero Viciously Silly

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    If you write shit like this...
    ... you might be a hack.
     
  23. LiddyRules

    LiddyRules I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy

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    If your name is Fritz...

    [​IMG]
     
  24. icculus1284

    icculus1284 Registered User

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    Forward to 12 people or you will go to hell
     
  25. Norm Stansfield

    Norm Stansfield 私は亀が好きだ。

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    Sure, that five headed German looks pretty dangerous, but at least he's not a Jew.
     
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