A Country Founded by Geniuses and Run by Idiots

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,805
6,920
763
F.U.B.A.R
#1
If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book, but not to vote for who runs your government … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If your government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If, in the largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If an 80-year-old woman can be strip-searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher “is cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested “homes”… you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing, and free cell phones … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If your government’s plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of Unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied but can’t find work … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your neighbor buys iPhones, TVs and new cars, and your government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
©Copyright 2012 Fritz Edmunds, all rights reserved.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,465
50,258
644
#2
So e-mail forwards still exist. You want to know how to tell that you're getting old...?
 

lajikal

Registered User
Aug 6, 2009
16,182
3,899
373
#5
Preach!
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,465
50,258
644
#7
I can get why this might be considered "run by idiots," but I don't get where the "founded by geniuses" comes in.

Oh wait! They're talking about America! This is the greatest thing I ever read! So apt!
 

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
Apr 27, 2005
40,284
7,454
438
The Inland Empire State
#8
If your government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
Story's a bit dated...

U.S. halts delivery of F-16s to Egypt
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
22,541
13,853
608
Idaho
#9
Geniuses? Here is a guy who ran around with those geniuses.


Image credit:
Getty Images/Erin McCarthy
A man whose wit was matched only by the looseness of his tongue, the combative John Adams quickly acquired a hefty reputation for articulate jabs and razor-sharp put-downs at the expense of his allies and (numerous) rivals alike, including some of the most celebrated figures in American history (Bob Dole once described him as “an eighteenth-century Don Rickles”). Here are some of his best zingers.
1. On Benjamin Franklin

“His whole life has been one continued insult to good manners and to decency.”
2. On Alexander Hamilton

“That bastard brat of a Scottish peddler! His ambition, his restlessness and all his grandiose schemes come, I'm convinced, from a superabundance of secretions, which he couldn't find enough whores to absorb!”
(Hamilton certainly wasn't above returning the fire.)
3. On Thomas Paine's Common Sense

“What a poor, ignorant, malicious, crapulous mass.”
(For more on their relationship, head here.)
4. On George Washington

“That Washington is not a scholar is certain. That he is too illiterate, unlearned, unread for his station is equally beyond dispute.”
5. On the City of Philadelphia

“Phyladelphia [sic], with all its trade and wealth and regularity, is not Boston. The morals of our people are much better; their manners are more polite and agreeable... Our language is better, our taste is better, our persons are handsomer; our spirit is greater, our laws are wiser, our religion is better, our education is better. We exceed them in every thing, but in a market.”
6. On Thomas Jefferson

“His soul is poisoned with ambition.”
7. On John Dickinson

While working as a member of the American revolution's continental congress, Adams referred to one of his less-radical colleagues as “a piddling genius” in one of his letters—an insult which caused a good deal of uproar when the British intercepted and published the candid document. For a fictionalized account of the pair's tense relationship, check out this clip from HBO's 2008 John Adams miniseries:
http://www.mentalfloss.com/article/51899/7-john-adams-greatest-insults
 

Mags

LDAR, bitch.
Donator
Oct 22, 2004
35,490
12,219
693
Ill Repute
#10
So e-mail forwards still exist. You want to know how to tell that you're getting old...?
Exactly what I was thinking. This is something my 70 year old mom and her siblings would be CCing repeatedly to the whole family.
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
Aug 25, 2008
54,222
12,972
438
Atlanta, GA
#11
I can get why this might be considered "run by idiots," but I don't get where the "founded by geniuses" comes in.

Oh wait! They're talking about America! This is the greatest thing I ever read! So apt!
That's only my second biggest complaint. My biggest complaint is that the "founded by geniuses" part (which is, as you pointed out, completely unnecessary) makes the line too wordy to be even halfway amusing.
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
Aug 25, 2008
54,222
12,972
438
Atlanta, GA
#12
1. On Benjamin Franklin

“His whole life has been one continued insult to good manners and to decency.”
John Adams: America's first player hater.
5. On the City of Philadelphia

“Phyladelphia [sic], with all its trade and wealth and regularity, is not Boston. The morals of our people are much better; their manners are more polite and agreeable... Our language is better, our taste is better, our persons are handsomer; our spirit is greater, our laws are wiser, our religion is better, our education is better. We exceed them in every thing, but in a market.”
Even back then...
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,465
50,258
644
#13
John Adams: America's first player hater.

Even back then...
Still, you have to give credit to any man who uses "Our bitches are hotter than your bitches" in his argument.
 

Voodoo Ben

You gotta wash your ass
Dec 5, 2010
8,368
6,727
293
#14
We're two guys who think..........
 

VicVinegar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2012
1,578
636
163
#15
Exactly what I was thinking. This is something my 70 year old mom and her siblings would be CCing repeatedly to the whole family.
Would there be a gif of an American flag somewhere in that email? Maybe a bald eagle?
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
79,037
27,614
898
Seattle
#18
5. On the City of Philadelphia

“Phyladelphia [sic], with all its trade and wealth and regularity, is not Boston. The morals of our people are much better; their manners are more polite and agreeable... Our language is better, our taste is better, our persons are handsomer; our spirit is greater, our laws are wiser, our religion is better, our education is better. We exceed them in every thing, but in a market.”
Nice to see Bostonians haven't changed a bit.
 

Norm Stansfield

私は亀が好きだ。
Mar 17, 2009
15,949
4,075
328
#21
OP is way too long. Should've just said "I'm a dogmatic religious conservative, and if you disagree with me on anything, my only argument is that you're stupid. And I think Jeff Foxworthy is someone worth ripping off.".
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
Aug 25, 2008
54,222
12,972
438
Atlanta, GA
#22
If you write shit like this...
If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book, but not to vote for who runs your government … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If your government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If, in the largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If an 80-year-old woman can be strip-searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher “is cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested “homes”… you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing, and free cell phones … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If your government’s plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of Unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied but can’t find work … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your neighbor buys iPhones, TVs and new cars, and your government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage … you might live in a country founded by geniuses and run by idiots.
©Copyright 2012 Fritz Edmunds, all rights reserved.
... you might be a hack.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,465
50,258
644
#23
If your name is Fritz...