A HUGE Shoutout to Otis Elevator Comapany:

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Mother Shucker

I'm over here now.
Oct 13, 2004
20,450
812
493
Your Mom's box.
#1
I was in an Otis elevator back in January with my best friend and my three kids. The elevator malfunctioned and plummeted five stories. My best friend and three kids all died. I have severe injuries to my back and legs, it is 50/50 if I ever walk again. But the good news is Otis is paying my hospital and physical therapy bills and giving me free elevator rides for the rest of my pathetic life, so all is good.
 

jimmyslostchin

Malarkey is slang for bullshit isn't it?
Jun 8, 2005
2,331
50
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NJ
#3
Good for you for not being selfish and suing them. You're one of the good ones, 'Shucker.
 

afternoonquil

Apology Ostrich
Apr 2, 2011
1,773
864
318
#5
I don't trust elevators or escaladers.

Pretty much missed a whole 3 Double D show (3 doors down) because i had to bum rush the ground floor security guards at Brendan byrne arena and crowd surf to my seats.
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
Aug 25, 2008
54,271
12,996
438
Atlanta, GA
#8
I was in an Otis elevator back in January with my best friend and my three kids. The elevator malfunctioned and plummeted five stories. My best friend and three kids all died. I have severe injuries to my back and legs, it is 50/50 if I ever walk again. But the good news is Otis is paying my hospital and physical therapy bills and giving me free elevator rides for the rest of my pathetic life, so all is good.
You wanna fight me, Shucker? 'Cause that's what I'm hearing. Go on. Accept my challenge, coward. I'll even put you up in the most expensive hotel in your city. This is totally a good idea and is 100% NOT insane.
 
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