A new drug teh kids are doing ....


Mrs. Fuckin Funny
Never has the saying, "Kids do the darndest things" been more apt. According to an Information Bulletin from the Collier County Sheriff's Office in Naples, Fla., youngsters in Florida may be using human waste to get high.

Yes, you read that right: human waste. The county's Criminal Intelligence Bureau has issued a report that "several students at Palmetto Ridge High school are experimenting with a new drug called "Jenkem." The bulletin, dated Sept. 26, states that so-called "Jenkem" -- the etymology is unclear -- originated in Africa and other third world countries where there is an abundance of its main ingredient: "raw sewage."

Makers "harvest" the drug by fermenting the sewage in a container with a balloon on top, which fills with gas. (And you thought making crystal meth smelled bad.) That gas is then inhaled to achieve a hallucinogenic and reportedly euphoric high, though how one could remain euphoric with a mouth full of that is anyone's guess.

The bulletin goes on to state that "jenkem is now a popular drug in American Schools." This seems doubtful, to say the least. The ever-reliable Snopes.com, for instance, rates the claim as "undetermined," noting that there have been very few reports of its use in the last decade. WINK-TV News in Florida, which reported the story after discovering the bulletin on Snopes, interviewed students at Collier County high schools. All denied having heard of it and claimed that the concept was "gross."

Still, a spokesman for the Drug Enforcement Agency insists that "there are people in America trying [Jenkem]." The DEA has yet to test Jenkem, he said -- a lot of volunteers for that job! -- but he said it is possible to experience hallucinations from methane fumes. He called use of the drug "dangerous, bad and stupid."

On that, at least, we can agree. It's one thing for parents to walk in on a child smoking a joint. Imagine the after school specials they'll have to make if Jenkem ever becomes popular.


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