Another Vegas Bachelor Party Thread

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
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Jun 22, 2004
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#1
After seeing the Hangover, we just had to book my best friend's bachelor party in Vegas. Wolfpack! Fucking Yuck. I mean, obviously we're going to take roofies, throw my best friend on the roof, **** a chinese guy, marry roller girl, pull out our own teeth with pliers, and steal Mike Tyson's tiger, but in between all that, I want to make sure my friend has a great time.

He's got three things he mentioned he wanted to do:

1) Brazilian Steak House. His favorite restaurant is Fogo de Chao. Unfortunately, it's not open yet in Vegas, so looking for something similar. Anyone been to any of these joints:

Via Brasil
Texas de Brazil
Samba (at Mirage)

2) Wants to go fire "Big Guns" at a shooting range, preferably outdoor. I'm not having luck finding any info. I'm not a gun guy. 2 of his brothers are cops, but they've not been much help except to point out we can shoot their guns at home anytime we want. Anyone got any ideas?

3) Wants to play a short No Limit Hold Em Tournament. I'm sure most of the casinos run them, but are there ones that are run better than others?

We also need to take him to a strip club on Friday night for the traditional bachelor party thingie I guess. Suggestions?
 

VMS

Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
Apr 26, 2006
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#2
The Gun Store has ads at the airport. 702-454-1110. I haven't been there myself, but they advertise that they have Uzis and such. Their website should have more info.

As far as strip clubs in Vegas, just pick one of the big ones. There's always an element of hit-or-miss, but generally any of the strip clubs in Vegas will put to shame any club you have back home. Stressing about getting the very very best club in Vegas when the worst of Vegas' Top 10 would be over the top in terms of hotness of the strippers is just pointless.

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Capt.Hilarious

Of all the names to choose...Capt.Hilarious?
Apr 26, 2006
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#3
I've hosted two bachelor parties in Vegas and will be having mine there next year. It's so much damn fun!

Here's a thread I started a while back that has some good tips in it:

http://www.wackbag.com/showthread.php/117566-Alright-fellas-need-some-Vegas-bachelor-party-opinions!

Also, I think The Gun Store is your best bet for firing awesome guns although I'm pretty sure they have an indoor only range: http://thegunstorelasvegas.com/

If you're buddy is the adventure type, you should hook him up with a jump from the top of the stratosphere:

[video=youtube;hkIGJGWiPvI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkIGJGWiPvI&hd=1[/video]
 

Capt.Hilarious

Of all the names to choose...Capt.Hilarious?
Apr 26, 2006
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#4
The Gun Store has ads at the airport. 702-454-1110. I haven't been there myself, but they advertise that they have Uzis and such. Their website should have more info.

As far as strip clubs in Vegas, just pick one of the big ones. There's always an element of hit-or-miss, but generally any of the strip clubs in Vegas will put to shame any club you have back home. Stressing about getting the very very best club in Vegas when the worst of Vegas' Top 10 would be over the top in terms of hotness of the strippers is just pointless.

Sent from my PG06100 using Tapatalk
Yeah I agree with this. My favs of the big ones are Rick's Cabaret and Sapphire. The best club I've been to in Vegas though is The Palomino. It's the only all nude club with a fully stocked bar. It's outside the city limits though, maybe a 20 minute ride...or you can call them and ask for a pickup. All the clubs will do that by the way, call them up, they'll send a limo for you and waive your cover, just have to tip the driver.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
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Jun 22, 2004
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#5
Yeah I agree with this. My favs of the big ones are Rick's Cabaret and Sapphire. The best club I've been to in Vegas though is The Palomino. It's the only all nude club with a fully stocked bar. It's outside the city limits though, maybe a 20 minute ride...or you can call them and ask for a pickup. All the clubs will do that by the way, call them up, they'll send a limo for you and waive your cover, just have to tip the driver.
That's a great tip. Wish I knew about that before one of the guys rented two cars for the weekend. One guy suggested the Sapphire for the Bachelor Party, so I'm glad to hear the good review, but I'll throw the Palomino out there as an option. Don't want to have a formal itinerary, just want to have a solid gameplan in my head so that I can take command if the dummies start arguing about what to do.
 

Capt.Hilarious

Of all the names to choose...Capt.Hilarious?
Apr 26, 2006
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#6
I could see a car being useful during the day if you want to hit up Hoover Dam or some other sites but it really makes no sense to use while you're partying on or near the strip.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
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Jun 22, 2004
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#7
I think the cars are only 100 bucks each for the weekend so it will probably save us at least a little money in cab fare to and from the airport and shuttle tips to and from the gun range, etc. He didn't talk to anyone before he did it.
 

afternoonquil

Apology Ostrich
Apr 2, 2011
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#8
You should go to chuck e. Cheese instead, they have a crane game.
 

Don the Radio Guy

G-Bb-A-D
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Mar 30, 2006
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#9
Re: Poker - All the casinos have hold em tournaments running all the time, so just pick one you like and go there. The Rio is the official WSOP place, but there are nicer places. If you have lots of money go to the Bellagio.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
41,677
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#10
i just got back from vegas, i know that this may sound a little ghey but if you get bored with shoving money down the g strings of sluts that hate you. go see either penn and teller at the rio or absinthe at caesars absinthe is kind of like cirque du soleil meets a burlesque show sung buy john valbe i HATE "shows" but i really liked that one, also on a side note FUCK the venetian and the palazo go to the wynn instead, and if you get the chance win back the 300$ i left on the roulette table at treasure island....
 

metallikat87

Registered User
Dec 14, 2006
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#11
As said before Gun Store is your best bet for shooting, there are a few outdoor ranges but none that have the selection that the gun store has, especially if youre into automatics

I havent been to the other 2 but i know Texas De Brazil is pretty amazing, also if youre looking for a great meal go to Musashi, its a teppanyaki/sushi type place where they cook in front of you but they put on an amusing(dirtier and less family-friendly than bennihana) show if youre into it, or they just whip up your food if youre not and its really good food, i suggest the New York Steak and Shrimp. And if you go after midnight or for lunch most shit is half off, which is good because the steak and shrimp is $35 if youre paying full price

titty bars are all the same as far as i can tell, just depends on if you want tits and booze or nude and soda, unless you hit the one or two places that have both, definitely call ahead and mention that youre a bachelor party and they'll pick you up, waive fees, etc...

as far as poker, everybody has tournaments all the time. if you go in a station casino (palace station, green valley ranch, red rock station, etc...) they have a magazine in the poker room with all of the tournaments at all of their properties with times, buy-ins/rules and whatnot
 

mrmos

New Wackbag
Oct 8, 2010
22
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#12
i just got back from vegas, i know that this may sound a little ghey but if you get bored with shoving money down the g strings of sluts that hate you. go see either penn and teller at the rio or absinthe at caesars absinthe is kind of like cirque du soleil meets a burlesque show sung buy john valbe i HATE "shows" but i really liked that one, also on a side note FUCK the venetian and the palazo go to the wynn instead, and if you get the chance win back the 300$ i left on the roulette table at treasure island....
Why fuck the Venetian and Palazzo?
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
41,677
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#13
I have a thread in the fu fourm for it
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
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Jun 22, 2004
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#14
For anyone who cares, here's a recap of our weekend. All of us flew out from Buffalo together except my step brother Rob, who was meeting us there from Seattle. Another friend went out a couple days early to visit his parents.

Thursday, 3:15pm EST
I called Rob to get his flight information. Back when the flights were booked in March, I had sent the itinerary to Rob so that he could match his flight from Seattle to ours from Buffalo. I figured we could all meet at Rob's gate since his flight got in 10 minutes after ours. Rob gave me the info, and as we were about to hang up, said "Ok, see you tomorrow". Yeah...wait what? I of course replied with "No, stupid - you'll see us tonight in about 5 hours." Rob scanned his itinerary and said "Oh SHIT! Gotta Go!"

Thursday, 4:45 pm EST
Mike (the groom) and his 3 brothers James, John and Chuck, along with Mike's punctual friend Jeremy are waiting at the airport for stupid. No - not Rob, me. See, I was smart enough to schedule appointments all day, and when I was on the phone with Rob I was just leaving the last appointment and hadn't packed yet. The flight leaves at 5:50pm. I make it in time, and then of course the flight leaves late.

Thursday, 6:15 pm EST
Jeremy is looking frantically all over the airport for his boarding pass. Mike pulls out his own boarding pass and says "Hey, why does my boarding pass have your name on it?" Jeremy angrily snatches it and says "Because it's mine, stupid." Everyone boards the plane. Mike takes a window seat, I take the aisle seat in the same row. Jeremy takes the window seat across the aisle. John, James and Chuck take the row behind Jeremy. Some dumbass sits between Mike and I and proceeds to check his diabeetus during the whole flight. Meanwhile, Chuck hits Jeremy's stewardess call button 5 times during the flight.

Thursday, 3:00pm PST
Rob arrives home, throws some shit in a bag and runs out the door. He makes it to the airport as they are boarding the plane and boards with 5 minutes to spare.

Friday, 11am PST
We go to some Pawn Shop that I guess they film some TV show in. Mike prattles on about how excited he is to meet Chun Li. I ask him why he's so excited to meet a character from Street Fighter II. The line to get into the Pawn Shop is 40 people deep. Does anyone else watch this show? None of the folks from the show are in the store. There is no pawning going on in the store, it's more like a museum of crap, which I guess is ok. Mike buys his Chun Li shirt and we head off to shoot some guns.

Friday, 1pm PST
I select the MP5 and a target of a woman holding a gun. The instructor tells me I'm aiming too low. I turn around and explain that I'm aiming for her Vagina. Mike fires a Desert Eagle a few times and gets the shakes. I take one shot and score a head shot on the target. We go to In n Out Burger to see what all the hype is about. The food is complete shit. Rob realizes he didn't pack any clothes and goes shopping.

Friday, 8pm PST
The plan is to get some grub and go to Palomino's, the only strip club in Vegas that has all nude dancers AND a full bar. I call to arrange pick up and they con me into a VIP package saying that if we don't reserve a table it will be standing room only. We go to a buffet at Caeser's and then get picked up by the party van. There are 4 ugly women in the front and we panic thinking they are the "talent". Luckily, they're not.

Friday, 10pm PST
We arrive at the club and there are a total of about 15 guys there, including us, the bouncers, and the DJ. There are approximately 35 strippers working the floor. I got conned. We get swarmed by the girls, some of whom are not...um...very attractive. Chuck, John and I crowd into the booth and hide like a bunch of pussy whipped faggots. Mike gets 3 or 4 VIP dances and has a good time. Chuck got food poisoning at Caeser's and shits himself. Rob goes slightly insane, losing his voice from screaming so much. A stipper who is "18" comes over and sits between James and Dave, the guy who came out early. She looks exactly like John's oldest daughter, which freaks John out. He starts begging Chuck to take a cab with him back to the hotel. Rob gets accosted by a stripper who has the same name as his sister, which makes him scream at her to get off him. At this point John remarks that Rob is an "odd dude that comes off like a serial killer"

Saturday, 1:30am PST
We get back from the Strip Club. Rob realizes he's lost his driver's license. John and Chuck head back to their rooms to recover from explosive diarrhea and harsh reality. James and Dave head next door to gamble, where Dave is propositioned by a prostitute who is a cross between Rupal and Emmanuel Lewis. Jeremy, Mike and Rob head out to find a bar off the strip where they can score some..."cheaper beers". I head into the hotel casino and win $600.

Saturday, 4:30am PST
Rob stumbles into the room and announces that he's thankful to be alive. I shout "RUMSPRINGA!" and pass out.

Saturday, 9am PST
I head off to meet Chuck, James, and John for breakfast. Rob tells me what happened last night as I get dressed. Seems like the cabbie took it upon himself to drive Mike, Jeremy and Rob to one of his friend's houses to find some "cheap beer". He instructed them that if trouble started, they should take the cab and drive it back to the Flamingo. Luckily, nothing bad happened, and the cabbie returned with one bottle of "cheap beer". The boys went to Hooters and ate some plate wings. I head down to breakfast and Chuck decides the best cure for explosive diarrhea is...Burger King.

Saturday, 2pm PST
We head to Fremont Street to enter a Poker Tournament at the Golden Nugget. We decide to grab a quick bite, and in the city with the best food in the world pick...McDonald's. James and John develop stomach cramps and bow out of the tournament, heading back to the hotel to shit themselves into oblivion.

Saturday, 4pm PST
Some drunk asshole makes such a ruckus he almost gets thrown out of the tournament. No, it's not me. In fact, Chuck and I make it to the final table and cash. Chuck finishes in 5th place, I make it to the final 3 and we decide to chop the prize pot of $2,500. I can't lose in this fucking town

Saturday, 9pm PST
We go to a Brazilian Steak House and have probably the best meal EVER. Guys bring out a continuous stream of Meat on swords and drop it on your plate until you turn over a card and scream "NO MAS".

Saturday, 12am PST
We return to the hotel. John heads to the hotel casino and wins back most of his lost gambling money. Mike and Jeremy head back to their room and split the bottle of cheap beer they got from the cabbie. Rob has talked to the TSA about his lost license and they inform him he has to show up to the airport an hour early for an anal probe, so he heads to his room to pray. The rest of us head out to gamble, where I promptly lose an embarrassing amount of money.

Sunday, 9am PST
We are standing there waiting for everyone to pass through security. Some Asian due hauls off and punches his girlfriend/wife dead in the face and just walks away as she's sobbing. I turn to Mike and tell him "That's how you handle that shit right there".

Same seating arrangements on the plane. The plane is sold out, and from what I can tell only 3 seats remain. A stripper gets on the plane and sits next to Jeremy. What gives this guy the fucking right? I can see only 2 empty seats left - and one is between Mike and I. A large African American couple with a combined weight of 850 lbs boards the plane. I whip out a 100 dollar bill and offer it to James to sit between Mike and I. Chuck and John hold James down, but the couple passes to the back of the plane. Mike and I spread out and relax, and we all get home safely, including Rob. End of weekend.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
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Jan 12, 2010
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#15
1) Your friends have the digestive systems of AIDS patients.

2)IN-N-Out is not shit.

Good to hear you guys had fun and won some money.
 

metallikat87

Registered User
Dec 14, 2006
2,104
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#16
your friends do have pussies for stomachs and i agree, in and out is probably the most overrated thing in this town