anyone ever try stand up?

JonBenetRamsey

well shit the bed
Aug 30, 2005
17,427
8,788
628
woodland critter christmas park nj
#1
i have twice. first time was at an open mic in front of 8 people in the city. it was good times but got an eh response. last week, i opened for my friend's band at their record release show and fucking killed in front of about 150 people. my bit about fucking girls in wheelchairs went over the best. though my whitney houston joke got a lot of groans which was amazing.

what about you fucks?
 

ruckstande

Posts mostly from the shitter.
Apr 2, 2005
14,989
4,501
678
South Jersey
#2
I stand up just about everyday. No one cares.

See I can do it too.
 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
Donator
Feb 20, 2006
59,552
19,736
513
jersey
#4
I stand up just about everyday. No one cares.

See I can do it too.
Good job getting the easy joke out of the way so quickly. You make the ghost of Christopher Reeve cry.

I have made up routines and bits in my head while trying to fall asleep but I have neither the talent nor the lack of social anxiety to actually try to eat my balls on a stage. Im fine with just making my friends and family chuckle from time to time, no need for further acceptance.
 

Shootr

OOHHH, GNARLY!!!
Donator
Dec 9, 2005
3,982
1,955
613
Arizona
#6
Yeah, and I learned the audience provided in a podunk Mormon farming community wasn't compatible.
 

lajikal

Registered User
Aug 6, 2009
15,902
3,848
373
#7
I stand up just about everyday. No one cares.

See I can do it too.
Yeah, but have you tried standing up while taking a shit then trying to run without falling. Ain't so easy now is it.
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
Aug 25, 2008
54,149
12,926
373
Atlanta, GA
#8
I've thought about doing it. I wouldn't be interested in writing an act, though, and I'd be even less interested in reciting the act after it was written. Also, I don't like people so I don't see myself liking any audience. Hang out with other comics would be way more appealing to me.
 

Nick the Pig

Scraping a dull comment across your tender eyeball
May 6, 2011
974
1,158
218
Some place faaar away ....yes, that'll do
#9
I tried it for a while back in the 80's and early 90's, I actually got a bit of a following and had a few albums released but just couldn't break big in my own country plus I wrote quite a lot of political shit which I then changed my mind about but the little cult audience I had was based around this material so I had to keep pretending to hold views I had long grown out of. In the end it got so much pressure that I had to pretend I had pancreatic cancer and then fake my own death just to get away from that whole life.
 

Don the Radio Guy

G-Bb-A-D
Donator
Mar 30, 2006
69,628
5,081
568
Wyoming
#10
I have no interest in doing it, but I have considered getting loaded one night at an open mic then going up on stage and doing some famous comedian's entire act as if it were my own. I wouldn't even wait for laughs, or acknowledge the audience. I'd just do the act and walk out when I was done.
 

TallBaby

Unregistered User .
Sep 9, 2005
3,572
101
283
Dallas, TX
#11
I did an open mic night once....lost the p.c. crowd on my Michael J Fox joke
 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
Donator
Feb 20, 2006
59,552
19,736
513
jersey
#12
I tried it for a while back in the 80's and early 90's, I actually got a bit of a following and had a few albums released but just couldn't break big in my own country plus I wrote quite a lot of political shit which I then changed my mind about but the little cult audience I had was based around this material so I had to keep pretending to hold views I had long grown out of. In the end it got so much pressure that I had to pretend I had pancreatic cancer and then fake my own death just to get away from that whole life.
So English isnt your first language. That clears up some of the general confusion of your posts.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
Jan 12, 2010
36,405
22,039
398
Northern California
#13
The funniest new stand-up act I saw was also the most humiliating. I was at an Indian casino in Oregon and there was a guy doing stand-up at 2 PM on a Thursday... to an empty room (I assume he has to do it regardless of audience to get paid).

I was dying laughing at my 3 card poker table when he started doing crown work to empty chairs.

So if crowds make you nervous, hunt down one of these casinos.
 

Motor Head

HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL
Jan 23, 2006
10,385
419
243
Land of hicks and rubes.
#14
Despite my prick status, most people think I'm pretty funny. I tried open mic night and I lost the crowd a couple minutes in after I did a rather generic abortion joke.

The girlfriend is pregnant (applause from crowd)
Yeah, yeah, I wasn't really counting on having a kid right now. (couple laughs, no big deal)
I was shopping for Corvettes the other day and my girlfriend keeps mentioning we need a mini-van. (crowd laughing, a couple woman yelling out 'you go girl' type shit)
So I bought a steel toed boot, and decided on the yellow Corvette with the 6 speed (men laugh, woman look pissed, men stop laughing because woman are pissed)

They killed my mic and the host pulled me off the stage. I got some boos, but a few people came up later and told me I was funny. This was years ago. I'm afraid to do another open mic night because of what happened to Club Soda Kenny. That's the last thing I need.
 

sillyfuck

Wackbag Uncle Tom
Feb 13, 2008
1,534
254
378
Chicago
#15
Despite my prick status, most people think I'm pretty funny. I tried open mic night and I lost the crowd a couple minutes in after I did a rather generic abortion joke.

The girlfriend is pregnant (applause from crowd)
Yeah, yeah, I wasn't really counting on having a kid right now. (couple laughs, no big deal)
I was shopping for Corvettes the other day and my girlfriend keeps mentioning we need a mini-van. (crowd laughing, a couple woman yelling out 'you go girl' type shit)
So I bought a steel toed boot, and decided on the yellow Corvette with the 6 speed (men laugh, woman look pissed, men stop laughing because woman are pissed)

They killed my mic and the host pulled me off the stage. I got some boos, but a few people came up later and told me I was funny. This was years ago. I'm afraid to do another open mic night because of what happened to Club Soda Kenny. That's the last thing I need.
Where was this?
 

CM Mark

The East is Ours!
Apr 13, 2005
27,472
856
513
Pretty Pretty Unicorn
#16
I did Car Crash Comedy back in 2007 I think it was. Treadmill joke. I bombed horribly. Someone out there probably has the date and audio. It was during the FreeFM days in the KROCK studio.
 

sillyfuck

Wackbag Uncle Tom
Feb 13, 2008
1,534
254
378
Chicago
#17
I think i could be a good comedy writer, if i ever write the shit I think of down.
 

mills

I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness
Jan 30, 2005
13,849
638
628
Flea Bottom
#19
I have a feeling that would set Jimmy off into gales of laughter if it was on tape. The mic cutting especially.
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
22,543
13,852
608
Idaho
#20
I have no interest in doing it, but I have considered getting loaded one night at an open mic then going up on stage and doing some famous comedian's entire act as if it were my own. I wouldn't even wait for laughs, or acknowledge the audience. I'd just do the act and walk out when I was done.
Somebody did that on their worst best man speech contest recently. He did a Rodney Dangerfield routine. The audio was so shitty I couldn't really make out what he said, but he lost the crowd. Yimmy said he had no timing, he plowed right on thru the lines.
 

Don the Radio Guy

G-Bb-A-D
Donator
Mar 30, 2006
69,628
5,081
568
Wyoming
#21
Somebody did that on their worst best man speech contest recently.
I hadn't heard of the contest, but I found this:

[video=youtube;v1snJ-7crfg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1snJ-7crfg[/video]

Pretty fucking funny.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Jun 22, 2004
76,350
49,266
788
#22
I'd love to do it, but so far it's been enough to be the funniest person everyone who knows me has ever met.

I don't think people like me make good comics. Funny in a small group of friends is not nearly as difficult as funny in front of a large group of strangers.
 

Stig

Wackbag's New Favorite Heel
Jul 26, 2005
80,704
4,446
623
NH
#23
I did Car Crash Comedy back in 2007 I think it was. Treadmill joke. I bombed horribly. Someone out there probably has the date and audio. It was during the FreeFM days in the KROCK studio.
Didn't Treadmill become a catchphrase around here for a while?