Movie Aquaman (December 21, 2018) aka Finding Wolverine " the greatest achievement in Cinematic history"

Bill Lehecka

Whiny Man Baby
Donator
The Teacher and I saw it last night. We were laughing at how bad it was. In fact, I just read @Pigdango ’s review to The Teacher and she said “What the fuck is wrong with him?”

I was just about to come on here and vouch for it.

We are seriously wondering if Aquaman is Piggy’s Pixels.

The acting was terrible. They tried to shove in multiple storylines. The tone was all over the place.

The CGI was Ok. Some was amazing, some looked like a cartoon. Every time we heard the term “Oceanmaster” we couldn’t help but laugh. Amber Heard can’t act her way out of a paper bag. They fucking played plucky piano during a scene between Momoa and Heard like it was a 90s romantic comedy.

Black Manta was cool. But yeah, Momoa lamenting how he made a mortal enemy was hilarious. “I could’ve saved his dad, but I didn’t, so I made a mortal enemy. Whatever.”

Everything was fucking predictable and a mess. It was definitely Wan’s vision and I commend him for it, but this should’ve been two or three different films.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
The Teacher and I saw it last night. We were laughing at how bad it was. In fact, I just read @Pigdango ’s review to The Teacher and she said “What the fuck is wrong with him?”

I was just about to come on here and vouch for it.

We are seriously wondering if Aquaman is Piggy’s Pixels.

The acting was terrible. They tried to shove in multiple storylines. The tone was all over the place.

The CGI was Ok. Some was amazing, some looked like a cartoon. Every time we heard the term “Oceanmaster” we couldn’t help but laugh. Amber Heard can’t act her way out of a paper bag. They fucking played plucky piano during a scene between Momoa and Heard like it was a 90s romantic comedy.

Black Manta was cool. But yeah, Momoa lamenting how he made a mortal enemy was hilarious. “I could’ve saved his dad, but I didn’t, so I made a mortal enemy. Whatever.”

Everything was fucking predictable and a mess. It was definitely Wan’s vision and I commend him for it, but this should’ve been two or three different films.
You read what I wrote, called me an idiot, and then said everything I said.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
But you called it good! C’mon now.
Look if you can’t give a movie credit for putting Aquaman on a god damn sea horse after riding a 700 foot tall lobster into the middle of a battle between an army of crab people and a bunch of people riding sharks shooting fricking laser beams, that’s on you, not me.
 
Look if you can’t give a movie credit for putting Aquaman on a god damn sea horse after riding a 700 foot tall lobster into the middle of a battle between an army of crab people and a bunch of people riding sharks shooting fricking laser beams, that’s on you, not me.
I hope some of the sea creatures are gender non-binary.
 

MurphCO

Enough of this palaver
Donator
I just keep referring to it as “The Aquaman” to be silly
 

LiddyRules

Regional Sales Rep for Fontaine Fish Finder
I just keep referring to it as “The Aquaman” to be silly
I look forward to seeing it because this is the primary thing I think of with Aquaman, and it's the best scene in Justice League.


That's the actual edit. I laughed for days from it after the HitW.
 
I look forward to seeing it because this is the primary thing I think of with Aquaman, and it's the best scene in Justice League.


That's the actual edit. I laughed for days from it after the HitW.
If that's the best part of the film I can't imagine how bad the rest is.
 

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
So I just saw it tonight in on the big mega pseudo-IMAX screen.

I thoroughly enjoyed it, and am honestly surprised at how much so. I look forward to the sequel.
 

LiddyRules

Regional Sales Rep for Fontaine Fish Finder
So where in Snyder's 10 movie plan was
an octopus playing the drums?

God damn it DC. Who would have thought an Aquaman movie would make the DC Universe into a contender? It was utterly ridiculous, overbloated to no end, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

And I love how they are completely distancing themselves from the Snyderverse canon. Outside of one brief mention of Steppenwolf, they changed so much about Aquaman. He lives in a beautiful part of Australia instead of ice village, and remember how much of a lifeless warehouse Atlantis looked in that movie? And in that scene he didn't know who Mera was?
 

Radioguy

Having it my way since '98
And Hugo Weaving. Unlike Hunger Games where you had a pretty decent and well known side cast with Sutherland, Wright, Tucci, Harrelson, and Banks, with this you have Hugo Weaving. And he blows everyone away. Significantly. You get disappointed when he's not on screen because he is so much better than everyone else. The second best character is Metallo played by Stephen Lang.
Saw it (Mortal Engines). Agree completely.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Challenge completed.

I actually didn't hate Mortal Engines. It's visually spectacular with vistas, set design, props, sets, costumes, etc. done so well in a way that many more successful movies don't even attempt. It had a strong color pallette and you could actually see everything going on all the time. And there were human extras! (Doing HitW has made me realize how few bigger movies actually have extras.) It's a creative team that you want to see tackling Star Wars.

And while the third act is very boring to the point where you forget who most characters are and what they want and it feels like they add too much to the movie to where it becomes bloated and the main character has no arc, it's better than Maze Runner, Hobbitses, Ghost in the Shell, and Hunger Games (from what I remember about Hunger Games).

So why did it fail?

Outside of the "everyone is tired of the YA dystopia" reason. And outside of bad/no promotions (I have seen more about Googly: Battle Googlies than this movie.).

I think the number one reason is cast. Not Rose Leslie isn't bad (she's not great, but she's fine), but she's not Jennifer Lawrence. (Boy is terrible, but so were the Hunger Boys.) A big reason Hunger Games became so huge was because Jennifer Lawrence was the It Girl. Everyone knew her, everyone was trained to love her, and she had the charisma/screen presence/Weinstein sex push to make her into someone who had to be a star. With some rando as the lead, you're not getting the same push for people who aren't into the series to feel like they need to see it.

And Hugo Weaving. Unlike Hunger Games where you had a pretty decent and well known side cast with Sutherland, Wright, Tucci, Harrelson, and Banks, with this you have Hugo Weaving. And he blows everyone away. Significantly. You get disappointed when he's not on screen because he is so much better than everyone else. The second best character is Metallo played by Stephen Lang.

But there was a chick who I thought looked like a young Rose Byrne.



[
I meant to ask you and I guess I can include @Radioguy in this as well - if Hugo Weaving came to you with a time machine and said “Should I go back in time and do this movie again, or a 4 minute cameo in Infinity War?” Which path would you tell him to choose?
 

Radioguy

Having it my way since '98
I meant to ask you and I guess I can include @Radioguy in this as well - if Hugo Weaving came to you with a time machine and said “Should I go back in time and do this movie again, or a 4 minute cameo in Infinity War?” Which path would you tell him to choose?
Crossed my mind when watching. Frankly, it's been answered above. It's not the the first time he's done smaller/indie roles, but those roles do end up making him look great.

I would tell him this, and then ask him to take a selfie with me wearing the Agent Smith glasses I always carry for such an occasion.
 

LiddyRules

Regional Sales Rep for Fontaine Fish Finder
I meant to ask you and I guess I can include @Radioguy in this as well - if Hugo Weaving came to you with a time machine and said “Should I go back in time and do this movie again, or a 4 minute cameo in Infinity War?” Which path would you tell him to choose?
I don't know. Probably tell him not to mess with the timeline.

He was probably more satisfied doing Mortal Engines. It was a showier stand out performance, and I think that's more something he'd want to do than give exposition for four minutes. Kind of like Radio said, if he was in War it would be "oh cool, Weaving's back," but with Engines, it was "Weaving's really great."

Plus he probably made more from Engines than he would have from Infinity War.

I know that's not the answer you want.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
I don't know. Probably tell him not to mess with the timeline.

He was probably more satisfied doing Mortal Engines. It was a showier stand out performance, and I think that's more something he'd want to do than give exposition for four minutes. Kind of like Radio said, if he was in War it would be "oh cool, Weaving's back," but with Engines, it was "Weaving's really great."

Plus he probably made more from Engines than he would have from Infinity War.

I know that's not the answer you want.
You answered. That’s what I wanted. I also want to believe that Weaving had another option that would have allowed him to do War or simply pass on both, but I don’t actually think that’s the case, which is sad.
 

LiddyRules

Regional Sales Rep for Fontaine Fish Finder
You answered. That’s what I wanted. I also want to believe that Weaving had another option that would have allowed him to do War or simply pass on both, but I don’t actually think that’s the case, which is sad.
I'm not his fucking confidant. What do you want from us?
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
I'm not his fucking confidant. What do you want from us?
I thought there might be an interesting discussion about why actors take roles, but you answered “money”, and when I looked at Weaving’s recent career, you were right, and I was wrong, it wasn’t an interesting discussion.
 

LiddyRules

Regional Sales Rep for Fontaine Fish Finder
I thought there might be an interesting discussion about why actors take roles, but you answered “money”, and when I looked at Weaving’s recent career, you were right, and I was wrong, it wasn’t an interesting discussion.
I also said because it was a more interesting role. I also didn't mention how he has expressed displeasure about his time on Captains America, and he doesn't hold the MCU as dear as someone like you. There's a whole mess of reasons people make decisions. Not every choice ever made boils down to a single factor.
 
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