Arlen Specter tries stand-up comedy

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
Apr 27, 2005
The Inland Empire State
Arlen Specter tries stand-up comedy

Specter's raunchy set featured some low blows on his fellow pols. | AP Photo

By TIM MAK | 12/28/11 9:39 AM EST

Former Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter got the crowd roaring with laughter at an open-mic night in Philadelphia on Tuesday, with a raunchy set that featured some low blows on his fellow pols.

Here are the best lines from Specter’s routine at the Helium Comedy Club, which included liberal teasing at the expense of his former colleagues, according to video by The Philadelphia Inquirer.

“I’ve been in comedy now for 30 years — the only difference is that it’s not stand-up. We all have comfortable chairs,” Specter quipped. “It costs about $27 million to win a seat in the United States Senate, so when you win one, you like to sit down.”

On Bill Clinton:

“I called Clinton up on his 65th birthday and said, ‘Bill, congratulations on being 65. How do you feel?’ He said, ‘Oh, I feel like a teenager, the problem is I can’t find one.”

On former Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell:

“I saw him on the street the other day, and he said, ‘Arlen, it’s a great thing being a man about town. I have sex almost every night. I almost have sex on Monday, I almost have sex on Tuesday, I almost have sex on Wednesday…”

On Herman Cain:

“What people don’t know is that Cain has a long-standing problem from adolescence. No matter how hard his teachers tried, they couldn’t persuade Herman Cain that ‘harass’ was one word.”

Full video here:

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Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
Did he just say, "Philadelphier?"

Don the Radio Guy

Mar 30, 2006
Dane Cook should be happy that he's no longer the worst comic in the world.


I want to fuck your girlfriend.
Dec 28, 2008
Constant sate of misery
They really need to have age limits in both the senate and congress. if you are over 65 you shouldn't be allowed in office. Out of touch asshole.