Attract Government Spies By Tweeting These Words

KRSOne

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
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Sunnydale
#1
By Ryan Tate
Dec 27, 2011 6:28 PM

The Department of Homeland Security makes fake users on Twitter and Facebook with which to follow suspicious people. But what if you're not shifty enough to get your own government e-stalker? No problem: Just tweet "My cow collapsed, and now there's a human to animal infection outbreak among illegal immigrants." That should bring heaps of DHS scrutiny, judging from a fresh lawsuit seeking access to the agency's data. In the suit, the privacy advocates at Electronic Privacy Information Center said DHS is monitoring social networks, blogs and message boards for users saying terms like "human to animal," "collapse," "infection," "outbreak," and "illegal immigrants."

If you use these words and phrases, the government might follow you, record your activity, and share information about you with local, state, federal, and foreign governments. Since EPIC has thus far received no cooperation from the government and is suing for access, it's not clear how the nonprofit compiled its list of red-flag keywords. Hopefully its research did not involve human to animal contact, smuggling things through airport security, or bribing government employees!


Why are angry lesbians always the biggest tyrants?
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
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#2
I don't want to know what "human to animal contact" means.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
143,014
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#3
Oh man. I am fucked with my page dedicated to Dustin Hoffman/Rene Russo fanfic.
 

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
Apr 27, 2005
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The Inland Empire State
#5
I'll just get this out of the way...

Reported.
Reported.
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Reported.
Reported.
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Reported.
Reported.
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Reported.
Reported.
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Reported.
Reported.
Reported.
Reported.
Reported.
Reported.
Reported.
Reported.
Reported.
 

Neckbeard

I'm Team Piggy!
Donator
Oct 26, 2011
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#7
I fucking hate that fake Italian bull dyke. Is this why I always get harassed at the airport?
 
May 24, 2004
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Queens, NY
#8
I wonder how many people read that article and then think about tweeting those phrases as a goof or in protest, but don't actually do it because of fear that Nappy Latino's agency will actually start monitoring them.
 

Norm Stansfield

私は亀が好きだ。
Mar 17, 2009
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#9
You guys do understand that just because someone wrote something on the Internet, doesn't mean it's true? And in fact probably isn't?
 
Jun 2, 2005
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Dallas
#10
You guys do understand that just because someone wrote something on the Internet, doesn't mean it's true? And in fact probably isn't?
Wait, you just wrote this on the internet, so it's gotta be true, but you're saying stuff written on the internet isn't true, so fuck me this just got complicated!

 

Ballbuster1

In The Danger Zone...
Wackbag Staff
Aug 26, 2002
103,710
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#11
You guys do understand that just because someone wrote something on the Internet, doesn't mean it's true? And in fact probably isn't?
Awww.. get outta here. If it's on the internet it's truer

than words spoken by someone with a microphone.

Everybody knows that.
 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
Donator
Feb 20, 2006
59,523
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jersey
#12
I want to meet the Gman that has to monitor this message board. I hope he is the same person that has to monitor the r/spacedicks subreddit, that guy is really earning his paycheck.
 

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
Jul 25, 2005
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philly
#13
Ew. Kirk reads Gawker.
(though that makes total sense)
 
Jun 2, 2005
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Dallas
#14
I want to meet the Gman that has to monitor this message board. I hope he is the same person that has to monitor the r/spacedicks subreddit, that guy is really earning his paycheck.
Holy shit. I had never heard of spacedicks or subreddit until just now, and fuck. Just plain fuck.
 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
Donator
Feb 20, 2006
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#15
Holy shit. I had never heard of spacedicks or subreddit until just now, and fuck. Just plain fuck.
The dead baby sub will purge you of what is left of your soul. Stay away at all costs.
 
Jun 2, 2005
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Dallas
#16
It's like /b/ without all the wit and intelligence. I feel like I just witnessed a baby being rayped by a large negro.
 

Norm Stansfield

私は亀が好きだ。
Mar 17, 2009
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#17
Went to reddit, to see what's with that spacedicks stuff, but then got sidetracked when I saw this on the front page.
[YT]aSq1cez_flQ[/YT]

Made me think of Kirk. I wonder what his New Year's gonna be like. Is he invited over to Alex Jones' house for the big party, or is it his mom's basement again?
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
143,014
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#18
I want to meet the Gman that has to monitor this message board. I hope he is the same person that has to monitor the r/spacedicks subreddit, that guy is really earning his paycheck.
We'll show up in Fahrenheit 9/11 2 after learning about Kirk's death.
 
Jun 2, 2005
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Dallas
#19
Why can't she just be hot and naked in movies? Nothing she's ever said or done has ever made me laugh.

And 3rd Rock from the Sun guy is annoying now.
 

Norm Stansfield

私は亀が好きだ。
Mar 17, 2009
15,949
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#20
Why can't she just be hot and naked in movies? Nothing she's ever said or done has ever made me laugh.
Well she's not a comic, or a porn star. She just acts all cutesy and cool in movies, and sings catchy songs you can enjoy for a few listens, until you get bored with them. What's wrong with that?

It's not anything brilliant, but at least she's original. That's pretty rare these days.
 

JoeyDVDZ

That's MR. MOJO, Motherfucker!
Aug 20, 2004
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#21
I would definitely do naughty things to her heiney.
 

JoeyDVDZ

That's MR. MOJO, Motherfucker!
Aug 20, 2004
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#23
You'd be queer if you didn't.
Actually, I suspect even a gay guy, provided he wasn't a flaming queer-o, would at least consider switching sides for a night to hit that.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
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Seattle
#24
Actually, I suspect even a gay guy, provided he wasn't a flaming queer-o, would at least consider switching sides for a night to hit that.
AH? Comment?

Then again, AH strikes me as a gay guy who might get with a chick just for the lulz under the right situation.


On a side note, Kirk has a new account but kept the same retarded avatar. I like Angel, but he took an image from the worst episode of the entire series.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,029
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#25
On a side note, Kirk has a new account but kept the same retarded avatar. I like Angel, but he took an image from the worst episode of the entire series.
That's from Angel? I'm really glad I got bored with the show before I got to that episode.