Bagels Are Such a Shitty Non-Treat

Neckbeard

I'm Team Piggy!
Donator
Oct 26, 2011
24,894
15,267
303
#1
I hate going to meetings with bagels out. Fucking savages. Put cookies or donuts out. You order 200 fucking bagels and 5 people eat 'em and the rest go in the trash.
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
Donator
Jan 14, 2002
32,840
4,566
898
Land of misfit toys
#3
Only two places I have ever been that make good Bagels. ABC Bagel in New Brunswick N.J. and Bagel International in Bradley Beach N.J.
 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
Donator
Feb 20, 2006
59,552
19,736
513
jersey
#4
Id rather have a delicious bagel with a shmear of veggie cream cheese than a shitty cookie or a doughnut.
 

Mags

LDAR king
Donator
Oct 22, 2004
34,865
11,973
693
Ill Repute
#5
Id rather have a delicious bagel with a shmear of veggie cream cheese than a shitty cookie or a doughnut.
A toasted Everything bagel with lox, cream cheese (shmear), red onions, etc is a true treat.

Cookies and donuts are for children and fatties.
 

Neckbeard

I'm Team Piggy!
Donator
Oct 26, 2011
24,894
15,267
303
#6
You yentas. That isn't what you get at these meetings and seminars and orientations. You get dry, flavorless bullshit that somehow magically has 300 or 400 calories.
How the fuck? You'd get all the flavor and joy if you just ripped up a hunk of the conference room carpeting and started munching but somehow one bagel is nearly a breakfast!
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
141,458
49,792
644
#7
You are aware that you're supposed to put stuff on the bagel, right? And yes, there are shitty/bland bagels out there (and you're probably getting that if it's part of a spread), but if you seek out good bagels, it's far better than a donut or cookie for breakfast. And if it is part of a spread, you're not getting good donuts or cookies either. And who wants a cookie for breakfast?
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
78,419
27,301
898
Seattle
#8
Only two places I have ever been that make good Bagels. ABC Bagel in New Brunswick N.J. and Bagel International in Bradley Beach N.J.
In the Seattle area, it's Einstein's bagels. Give me a toasted pretzel bagel with veggie smear please. Oh, and a cup of that lovely vanilla Hazelnut coffee that no one else in the world seems to do right.

I've also heard good things about Blazing Bagels, but I've never had.
 

Mags

LDAR king
Donator
Oct 22, 2004
34,865
11,973
693
Ill Repute
#9
You yentas. That isn't what you get at these meetings and seminars and orientations. You get dry, flavorless bullshit that somehow magically has 300 or 400 calories.
How the fuck? You'd get all the flavor and joy if you just ripped up a hunk of the conference room carpeting and started munching but somehow one bagel is nearly a breakfast!
Quality whole wheat bagel, with 2 eggs, bacon and tomato. Num nums.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
Jan 12, 2010
36,345
21,957
398
Northern California
#12
I was never really into bagels because the only time I tried them was in a lobby of some hotel. However, we have a really popular bagel shop back home and holy shit are those delicious. Now I'll often get on the internet and try to find a good bagel place while I'm traveling. I think I'm going to hunt down one here in an hour or so.

I haven't had a donut in years. They're delicious (especially those old fashion chocolate ones), but if I eat them I'll feel like shit for the rest of the day.
 

Mags

LDAR king
Donator
Oct 22, 2004
34,865
11,973
693
Ill Repute
#13
New York has the bessssst bagels. It's the water (and the Jews).
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
78,419
27,301
898
Seattle
#14
I was never really into bagels because the only time I tried them was in a lobby of some hotel. However, we have a really popular bagel shop back home and holy shit are those delicious. Now I'll often get on the internet and try to find a good bagel place while I'm traveling. I think I'm going to hunt down one here in an hour or so.

I haven't had a donut in years. They're delicious (especially those old fashion chocolate ones), but if I eat them I'll feel like shit for the rest of the day.
That's why you have them for dessert. :)
 

Guilty Spark

It's freeing and refreshing
May 4, 2005
6,350
2,191
608
Long Island NY
#19
A NY fuckin salt bagel with some whitefish, it doesn't get any better or jewier.

Fuck shitty donuts in their holes.
 

Mommadeez4u

Bastard coated bastard w/ bastard filling
Mar 26, 2005
4,027
904
608
Washington, DC
#21
Fuck the 'Everything Bagel', fucking cunt bagel infecting all the other bagels in the bag with its fucking garlic and onion awfulness

 

crippledalbino

The God of 42nd Street
Donator
Aug 16, 2006
40,468
11,876
568
The Oh-See, Fuck-Asses
#23
Fuck the 'Everything Bagel', fucking cunt bagel infecting all the other bagels in the bag with its fucking garlic and onion awfulness

The everything bagel is so sublime.
Poppies, sesame seeds, garlic, onion... all it's missing is the tears of its detractors.
 

Neckbeard

I'm Team Piggy!
Donator
Oct 26, 2011
24,894
15,267
303
#25
Bagels are not a stand alone treat!

Damn them!