Bin Laden urges Americans to convert

Vyce

Light-skinned, with no Negro dialect.
Feb 11, 2006
8,171
10
496
Washington D.C.
#1
So hey. There's that video floating around. Maybe you've heard of this guy.

The unofficial king of all savage terrorist shitheads has spoken.

And here is a transcript of his speech.

Reading through his remarks, I'm a bit stunned.

This is the closest I'm going to go towards providing this savage animal a compliment, but here goes: Osama is so disturbingly good at pandering to the nutroots here, he might as well be running for the Democrat party nomination.

Or, at least, be John Edwards running mate.

(Before you BITCH, no, I'm not trying to claim Osama would fit right in with *normal* Democrats. But he would fit right in with the nutroots.

Because, I mean, this has got it all. Criticizing America for going into Iraq: check. Talking about starving Africans: check. Some talking points on global warming: check (he's apparently a very eco-conscious terrorist shithead). Praise of Chomsky: well, no surprise there, what with him being a virulent anti-Semite (wait, which piece of shit am I talking about when I say that? Usama? Chomsky? The answer is: yes).

I swear, all he needs to do is issue another video talking about his bitchin' new universal health care plan for when the Great Satan is under sharia law, and I can see the Kos kids / Huffpos wing of the Democrat party lining up to embrace dhimmihood.

(Heh. As if they aren't already halfway there.)

Actually.....no, I take that back. Given how he doesn't seem to be hard ENOUGH on global warming, and he is promising tax cuts (OMGPROOFOFANALLIANCEWITHMCBUSHILTERHALIBURTON!!!!11), Osama might actually be LESS extreme than some of the nutroots I've seen out there.
 

martianvirus

READY THE ANALPROBES!!!!!!!!
Nov 20, 2005
19,062
134
268
Las Vegas, NV
#2
Osama is so disturbingly good at pandering to the nutroots here, he might as well be running for the Democrat party nomination.
He is... isn't he?


Oh wait, that's the black version.
 

Jerry1

Megatron Star!
Jan 26, 2006
3,338
2
228
Brooklyn, New York
#3
Yeah, like that's going to happen.....


Bin Laden urges Americans to convert By LEE KEATH, Associated Press Writer
12 minutes ago



CAIRO, Egypt - Osama bin Laden appeared for the first time in three years in a video Friday released ahead of the sixth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, telling Americans they should convert to Islam if they want the war in Iraq to end.


The 30-minute video was obtained by the SITE Institute, a Washington-based group that monitors terror messages. American officials said the U.S. government had obtained a copy earlier and intelligence agencies were studying the video to determine whether it was authentic.

In the video, which was broadcast to the Arab world by Al-Jazeera television, bin Laden sits as he talks, wearing a white robe and turban and beige cloak seated behind a table while reading an address to the American people from papers in front of him.

His trimmed beard is shorter than in his last video, in 2004, and is fully black — apparently dyed, since in past videos it was mostly gray. He speaks softly, as he usually does, and has dark bags under his eyes but appears healthy.

The footage gives a rare look at the al-Qaida leader, who has likely avoided appearing in videos as a security measure. His emergence comes at a time when terrorism experts believe his terror network is regrouping in the lawless Pakistan-Afghanistan border region.

Bin Laden makes no overt threats and does not directly call for attacks, according to the transcript, which was first posted on ABC's Web site.

Instead, he addresses Americans, lecturing them on the failures of their leaders to stop the war in Iraq despite growing public opposition in the U.S.

"There are two solutions to stopping it. One is from our side, and it is to escalate the fighting and killing against you. This is our duty, and our brothers are carrying it out," bin Laden said.

"The second solution is from your side," he said. "I invite you to embrace Islam."

"It will also achieve your desire to stop the war as a consequence, because as soon as the warmongering owners of the major corporations realize that you have lost confidence in your democratic system and have begun to look for an alternative, and this alternative is Islam, they will run after you to please you and achieve what you want to steer you away from Islam," he said.

He derides President Bush, saying the American leader is backing Shiites against Sunnis in Iraq. But, bin Laden said, events in Iraq have gotten "out of control" and Bush is "like the one who plows and sows the sea: He harvests nothing but failure."

Bin Laden said the prestige of mujahedeen — Islamic holy warriors — has "grown globally" while America has been "bled dry economically."

The video appeared to have been recently made, since bin Laden refers to the Democratic Party's congressional victory in last fall's election and to French President Nicolas Sarkozy, who was elected in May.

The transcript also praises the American political activist and author Noam Chomsky, mentions global warming and refers to the Aug. 6 anniversary of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima during World War II.

Al-Qaida annually uses the anniversary of the Sept. 11 suicide attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon as a propaganda opportunity, issuing videotapes to rally supporters and mock the United States.

But the appearance of bin Laden this year makes a bigger splash. The al-Qaida leader had not appeared in new video footage since October 2004, and he had not put out an audiotape in more than a year, his longest period without a message.

Seth Jones, a terrorism expert at the RAND think tank, said that while the anniversary gives the pretext for the tape, it also comes at a time when the main al-Qaida leadership has managed to regroup.

"There clearly has been a resurgence of core al-Qaida in the tribal areas of Pakistan" along the frontier with Afghanistan since 2005, Jones said.

He said sympathy in that region for the Taliban has made it "more conducive to militant Sunni groups, including al-Qaida."

"It's really created a sanctuary," Jones said.

Rita Katz, director of the SITE Institute, said she believes "strongly that al-Qaida has regrouped" but that their headquarters are more diffuse than they used to be, comprising several training camps in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

She said it was likely that bin Laden is hidden in a more secure location, away from any of those sites.

The United States intercepted the video before it was released on Islamic Web sites where al-Qaida usually posts its messages, a U.S. counterterrorism official said in Washington. U.S. officials had analyzed the video for hours before transcripts and videos were leaked, the official said, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the issue.

The official said analysts were studying bin Laden's physical characteristics — for clues about his health after unconfirmed rumors earlier this year that he had died of kidney disease.

White House deputy press secretary Tony Fratto declined to comment on the video until it had been fully analyzed, except to say it was a reminder of the continuing terrorist threat.

"This is why we need to be more vigilant and more persistent in our pursuit of terrorists," Fratto said. "We will continue to pursue them. And it reminds us that we need to be certain that our intelligence professionals have all the tools they need to continue to disrupt their activities."

The Homeland Security Department said it had no credible information warning of an imminent threat to the United States.

Soon after word emerged that the United States had the video, Islamic militant Web sites that usually carry statements from al-Qaida went down and were inaccessible. The reason for the shutdown was not immediately known.

Evan H. Kohlmann, a terrorism expert at globalterroralert.com, said he suspected it was the work of al-Qaida itself, trying to find how the video leaked to U.S. officials.

"For them this is totally disruptive that the U.S. government could have a copy before their targeted audience does," he said. "They could be concerned and trying to plug the leak quickly."
 

JoeyDVDZ

That's MR. MOJO, Motherfucker!
Aug 20, 2004
29,260
5,721
763
#4
So bin laden wants us to convert, huh? I'll convert.... that fucker to mulch. Douche. He should go pick the nits out of his beard & thank allah that we haven't found his ass yet.
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,793
6,917
763
F.U.B.A.R
#5
Fuck bin Laden and that murderous gutter "Religion" of his.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,636
9,655
848
#7
hmmmmm, since im a filthy atheist ummmmmm, yea, im gona convert..... yea........
 

SuperGolfer

I got it from a negro
Nov 6, 2004
4,461
701
658
#8
So are we supposed to convert like all at once, or do we have a time limit or something?
 

Butter Nuggets

Registered User
May 29, 2006
275
0
221
#9
Here is a full transcript so you dont have to get a cherry picked version from me or the leftist douche press .

Some of his nonsense sure sounds familiar.

for people have recently come to know that, after several years of the tragedies of this war, the vast majority of you want it stopped. Thus, you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there, which has led to the vast majority of you being afflicted with disappointment."

"And here is the gist of the matter, so one should pause, think and reflect: why have the Democrats failed to stop this war, despite them being the majority?"
he answers his own question here

"So in answer to the question about the causes of the Democrats' failure to stop the war, I say: they are the same reasons which led to the failure of former president Kennedy to stop the Vietnam war. Those with real power and influence are those with the most capital. And since the democratic system permits major corporations to back candidates, be they presidential or congressional, there shouldn't be any cause for astonishment - and there isn't any- in the Democrats' failure to stop the war. And you're the ones who have the saying which goes, "Money talks." And I tell you: after the failure of your representatives in the Democratic Party to implement your desire to stop the war, you can still carry anti-war placards and spread out in the streets of major cities, then go back to your homes, but that will be of no use and will lead to the prolonging of the war."
MAAAAAAAANNNNN.

"And among the most important items contained in Bush’s speeches since the events of the 11th is that the Americans have no option but to continue the war. This tone is in fact an echoing of the words of neoconservatives like Cheney, Rumsfeld and Richard Pearle, the latter having said previously that the Americans have no choice in front of them other than to continue the war or face a holocaust."
Neoconservatives? Pearle? What the hell? These are straight leftist talking points to gain support from our hordes of "useful idiots".
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,388
50,218
644
#10
Question. Now, if we convert do we have to be hardcore about it? Like there are Jews who don't eat this and don't use lights after sundown on the Sabbath and all that shit. And Jews who are like "yeah, I'm Jewish but don't even go to temple."

So is he asking us to be one of those pray five-times-a-day, fast throughout November, wear the head scarf Islams? Or just if someone asks say "Yeah, Allah is great?" Because if it's death or just saying "I'm down with Mohammad," as an atheist, I do not have a problem with that. If it requires effort like reading the Koran or buying a mat, I need to think about it.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,388
50,218
644
#12
Do I have to give up eating pork?
Buddy, under my new Islam pork is not just permitted, it's encouraged. Ramadan is a feast, not a fast. And a jihad against Americans is a jihad against Americans.
 

NuttyJim

Registered User
Feb 18, 2006
14,059
6,382
638
#13
this motherfucker should've been strung up, his fucking head on a stick, and covered in pigs blood fucking 6 years ago.
 

Vyce

Light-skinned, with no Negro dialect.
Feb 11, 2006
8,171
10
496
Washington D.C.
#15
Damnit, you bastards completely ignored my Bin Laden thread (cept you, martianvirus!). And I'm pretty sure I started mine first.

:: Mod Edit :: Merged 'em up for ya

Here is a full transcript so you dont have to get a cherry picked version from me or the leftist douche press .

Some of his nonsense sure sounds familiar.

Neoconservatives? Pearle? What the hell? These are straight leftist talking points to gain support from our hordes of "useful idiots".
You please me with your use of that term.

I'll go ahead and repost what I said in the other thread:

This is the closest I'm going to go towards providing this savage animal a compliment, but here goes: Osama is so disturbingly good at pandering to the nutroots here, he might as well be running for the Democrat party nomination.

Or, at least, be John Edwards running mate.

(Before you BITCH, no, I'm not trying to claim Osama would fit right in with *normal* Democrats. But he would fit right in with the nutroots.

Because, I mean, this has got it all. Criticizing America for going into Iraq: check. Talking about starving Africans: check. Some talking points on global warming: check (he's apparently a very eco-conscious terrorist shithead). Praise of Chomsky: well, no surprise there, what with him being a virulent anti-Semite (wait, which piece of shit am I talking about when I say that? Usama? Chomsky? The answer is: yes).

I swear, all he needs to do is issue another video talking about his bitchin' new universal health care plan for when the Great Satan is under sharia law, and I can see the Kos kids / Huffpos wing of the Democrat party lining up to embrace dhimmihood.

(Heh. As if they aren't already halfway there.)

Actually.....no, I take that back. Given how he doesn't seem to be hard ENOUGH on global warming, and he is promising tax cuts (OMGPROOFOFANALLIANCEWITHMCBUSHILTERHALIBURTON!!!! 11), Osama might actually be LESS extreme than some of the nutroots I've seen out there.

Greg Gutfeld had perhaps the best line regarding the video: "It was at this point, I thought I was listening to Keith Olbermann."
 

BravoSierra

Why do people keep calling me?
Jun 27, 2005
3,463
4
293
Berkeley, CA
#16
I converted to Islam a year ago... it's kinda like being Christian only you eat pork to spite Allah. Gonna go out on a limb here and say, Laden is a kook.
 

Plunkies

Registered User
Jun 28, 2006
6,028
2,761
543
#17
Convert to Islam now and get a free toaster! Be dialin infidels!
 

Legend of Snuka

Registered User
Mar 29, 2005
365
0
266
NY
#19
We should make a video starring Tom Cruise telling Bin Laden and his followers to convert to Scientology....

If he doesn't convert by the World Series, we're gonna kill every human,animal and plant on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border.
 
Aug 11, 2005
27,637
4
51
#20
I converted to Islam a year ago... it's kinda like being Christian only you eat pork to spite Allah. Gonna go out on a limb here and say, Laden is a kook.
thats funny ,caught me unexpected
 

SOS

ONA
Wackbag Staff
Aug 14, 2000
48,193
8,897
1,038
USA
#21
Please someone call in Monday and do an Electric Eel-ish like phone call about converting.

BeerBelly said:
thats funny ,caught me unexpected
^^^
Location: Berkeley, CA
No, that is about how there is.
 
Aug 11, 2005
27,637
4
51
#22
but what would be reeeally funny would be bombing them with millions of pigs.... cuz, you know..
 
Aug 11, 2005
27,637
4
51
#23
give that man a cute lil pot belly pig
(pork is kriptonite to those types) if you don't know
 

Your_Moms_Box

Free Shit / Socialism 2016
Dec 20, 2004
5,755
468
628
Dover, Delaware
#24
Ever consider that Osama likes to encourage our country to vote for democrats vecause he knows that it wil probably rile people up enough to vote republican?

He is much more able to energize his base with republican's in power here.

If he even made the video, isn't that guy dead by now?
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,388
50,218
644
#25
Carnies and rubes, carnies and rubes. He lives in a cave yet you fall for the simplest agitating tricks in the world.