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Coconut

Discussion in 'Wackbag's Mean Cusine' started by ShooterMcGavin, Dec 12, 2011.

  1. ShooterMcGavin

    ShooterMcGavin Go back to your shanties.

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    I need suggestions for good foods with coconut that do not have the flakey consistency of most coconut foods.

    I hate the consistency of coconut but I love the taste. Coconut milk is fantastic, especially in cereal.

    I always make the mistake of ordering a coconut pie, thinking it will be all creamy and delicious, but there are always those fucking flakes in there that just ruin it for me. Are there any coconut treats that are not made with coconut flakes, or is my only hope something artificially flavored? I've been searching for this holy grail for years.
     
  2. Jacuzzi Billy

    Jacuzzi Billy Watching PTI
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    Not exactly a treat, but I used to make a pretty good curry that had a lot of coconut milk in it.
     
  3. reddog_2711

    reddog_2711 Registered User

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    Make "Coquito"......spanish eggnog made with coconut cream. Tis' the season
     
  4. Bluestreak

    Bluestreak This space intentionally left blank.

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    Coconut water with a splash of clear rum. Good stuff.
     
  5. Voss's Tumor

    Voss's Tumor Banned

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    If you ever eat actual coconut, as in buy the whole thing and cut it yourself, it'll get you over the consistency issue. Shaved coconut is the consistency you hate, right? It doesn't come off the tree all grated.
     
  6. ShooterMcGavin

    ShooterMcGavin Go back to your shanties.

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    Yes, shaved coconut sucks and it's on everything that has "coconut" in the title. I'll try buying one.

    Snoballs are the fucking worst.

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Philly_Tyrant

    Philly_Tyrant Registered User

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    A fresh whole coconut from the market is... heaven. I hate shaved coconut too but fresh outta the shell is awesome, just be careful drinking alot of fresh coconut milk it will give you diarhea if you drink to much.
     
  8. mascan42

    mascan42 Registered User

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  9. CousinDave

    CousinDave Registered User

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    popcorn is really good when poped in coconut oil
     
  10. mills

    mills I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness

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    [​IMG]

    Don't forget to brush afterwards.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. THE FEZ MAN

    THE FEZ MAN as a matter of fact i dont have 5$

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    I buy whole nuts all the time I love it. That and smashing it open like a skull is fun and tastey
     
  12. OilyJillFart

    OilyJillFart Well-Lubed Member

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    I love a fresh coconut, its like eating soft delicious wood. I can't bring myself to buy them, they are all over the place in south Fl free for the taking, but I live too far north for the trees to survive. Any time I get down there I grab a few.
     
  13. CougarHunter

    CougarHunter Lying causes cat piss smell.

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    I found out about the effects of too much fresh coconut consumption as a boy camping on the beaches in the keys. Between shitting pure water for 3 days and the sand fleas, that vacation was pretty much fucked.
     
  14. THE FEZ MAN

    THE FEZ MAN as a matter of fact i dont have 5$

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    ok im pissed, ive bought several fresh nuts over the last few months and every single one of them has been "bad" im thinking of e mailing the supplier and see what happens, i LOVE fresh coconut but im really getting turned off lately. the last one i cracked open smelled like a combination of paint thinner and rotten fruit, several of the others have been moldy and dry, its really disappointing to me, when i smash a nut i really want it, i dont give a shit about the 3$ its the fact that i gots no nut... :(
     
  15. Konstantin K

    Konstantin K Big League Poster

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    I hate everything about coconut. Taste, smell, texture. Gross.
     
  16. MTJonny

    MTJonny All my posts come with a free smile
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    x2
     
  17. fletcher

    fletcher Darkness always says hello.
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    Coconuts are horrid and so are the people that enjoy them. Fucking disgusting.
     
  18. BIV

    BIV I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.

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    Mama, buy me coconut
    Mama buy me some lemonade
    Mama-ah buy me cookie
    buy me some peanuts
     
  19. Mommadeez4u

    Mommadeez4u Bastard coated bastard w/ bastard filling

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    Did you ever make a bra out of two coconut halves? Good times, good times....
     
  20. BIV

    BIV I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.

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    No, but I hit them together to make the sound of a horse running.
     
  21. THE FEZ MAN

    THE FEZ MAN as a matter of fact i dont have 5$

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    well i finally got a good one, i went on a quest ended up at one of those fancy ass yuppy scum "super markets" were you cant buy anything that doesn't have a fucked up label or fancy fucktard name, hell ive never even seen that many fancy water bottles, but i figured that those shit bags would complain if someone sold them a rotten coconut so i swallowed my pride and went there, well i will admit that i went there in my work clothes, still covered in welding soot and smelling like a monkey house its amazing how much space people give you when you smell like a little tinkle burnt metal and BO that would rival a sand ****** (yea kind of pissed down the front of my shorts this morning and spilled coffee all over my shirt)
    so i wandered around the organic, fair trade peta approved vegan section for about 10 minuets, i find my coconut, after picking up every single one and jiggling it to hear its slosh and knocking and tapping them with my pocket knife (and getting funny looks from the straights) i choose the perfect specimen.

    i wandered around for another few minuets just checking the joint out stinking the place up, and avoiding the long line at the door then decide to check out. well after getting up to the register i figure out why the line was so long, there was a fat fucking half wit behind the register picking her nose, i put the coconut on the counter and she just stares at it like its a fucking bomb, she picks it up and spins it around then figures out that it has a tag on it after i point it out to her, she then says "ive never sold one of these before, how do you eat it? and how do you get it open, do you want a bag?"

    i could not resist this opportunity to be a dick and a creep at the same time. i handed her the $3 smiled and said " i dont think i need a bag, as for eating it you just smash it on the ground real hard and it will pop like a skull, then you just scoop out the insides like brains" her mouth dropped i smiled and said "thanks, have a nice night" and left.
     
  22. MrAbovePar

    MrAbovePar En Taro Anthony

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    I've made coconut cream from scratch. Involved steaming milk than steeping coconut in it for an hour. Then using cheese cloth to strain it out. Very tasty.
     
  23. SatansCheerledr

    SatansCheerledr Ideologically Unsound

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    Um, Thai food?
     

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