College introduction that I found funny.

Josh_R

Registered User
#1
I go to school online, and part of the first week of class is that everyone must post a short introduction about themselves. This just struck me as hilarious.

Hello my name is (redacted). I am 48 years old and have been married for almost 12 years. I have two wonderful sons, one is 22 years old and the other is 11 years old. I also have a grandson who is 3 years old. I live in a small town in North West Lower Michigan. I have been attending Ashford for a year now. I am nervous about this class, math was my weakest subject in school.
I am unemployed right now, that is one of the reasons I am taking classes. I am trying to get my degree in Healthcare management. I like to collect gems, Tinkerbell items, heart-shaped items, Disney items, Hot Wheels, and usual shaped and colored rocks. Sorry to see summer coming to an end. Michigan winter's can be long and cold.
Wish everyone good luck with this class.
What a fucking weird mix of things to collect. It sounds like the shit you would find in a retard's pockets.
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
#2
I like to collect gems, Tinkerbell items, heart-shaped items, Disney items, Hot Wheels, and usual shaped and colored rocks.
He also likes to collect cocks with his mouth and asshole.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
#4
...North West Lower Michigan...
I live in South Central Humboldt County in the North Western portion of California which is in the Central and South Western portion of the United States.

Fucking asshole, just say you live in Michigan. No one is going to ask "where in Michigan?"
 

Josh_R

Registered User
#5
He also likes to collect cocks with his mouth and asshole.
To be fair, it was a woman :) However this one is a man in the same class:
Dear Class,

This class has been a couple of decades in coming. It is my last class before graduating with my bachelor’s in history. I will start in January on a master’s degree in Romantic & Victorian Era British literature, at Regis Jesuit University in Denver, CO.

For the last twenty-five years, I have been a ballet dancer and teacher. At 41 years old, I do more teaching now than dancing, though I still dance some. In a most unusual alloy of employments, I have been a deputy sheriff for the last five years. It has taken me a while to shake the nickname "Deputy Twinkle Toes". I have a brilliant and beautiful wife and two young daughters, four and eight years old. We live outside of Denver. Denver is wonderful, offering fine culture, some world-class dining, and representatives of all major sports, as well as our beautiful mountains and fine skiing. We try to take advantage of all this area offers, amid our busy schedules.

Good luck to you all. I will see you in class.

Your Servant,
XXXXXXX
 
#7
They sound like outgoing people trying to make nice with people they just met.

bleck...

Good thing you don't have to actually meet these people...
 
Top